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Family Forum / Parenting / Adoption / July 2004Talking About Adoption
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A63045-2004Jul19.html Talking About Adoption Tuesday, July 20, 2004; Page HE07 Many parents who adopt don't want to talk about it -- especially with their adopted children. If they broach the matter at all, they often do it hastily, wearing a "pained look" that tells their children: Don't bring it up, says Linda Clausen, coordinator of the Washington branch of Concerned United Birthparents Inc. (CUB). But adoption -- and its lifelong effects -- is precisely the subject people are encouraged to discuss in Clausen's Bethesda-based support group. At monthly meetings, adoptees, birthparents, adoptive parents and anyone affected by adoption share dialogues and perspectives on the adoption process. Clausen, a social worker in the District, said group members often discuss searches for their children or birthparents. One of the biggest challenges for members: building a new relationship with a long-absent child or parent, said Clausen, who was reunited with her son 27 years after she put him up for adoption in the 1960s. The group is not a search organization, said Clausen, but it does provide referrals to such groups and emotional support to people undertaking searches. That support is especially key, she said, for children who don't want to discuss their searches with their adoptive parents. Neither the local branch of CUB nor the national group, founded in 1976, offers information on how to adopt. Clausen's group, open to people age 18 and older and to younger people who are accompanied by a parent, meets the fourth Sunday of every month. The next meeting is Sunday, July 25, at 2 p.m. in Bethesda. For the location and further information, call 202-298-1011, e-mail dcmetrocub@aol.comor see www.cubirthparents.org. Members who decide to attend regularly pay a $40 annual fee. ------------------------- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!" -----Unknown >Many parents who adopt don't want to talk about it -- especially with their >adopted children. If they broach the matter at all, they often do it hastily, >wearing a "pained look" that tells their children: Don't bring it up, says >Linda Clausen, coordinator of the Washington branch of Concerned United >Birthparents Inc. (CUB). Riiiiight. And, Linda Clausen has sat with how many adoptive parents in their homes and watched them wince at the mention of :::whisper:::: adoption?? I don't know any parents who adopt who don't want to talk about it. Quite the opposite is true in most cases I've encountered. Linda Clausen must have an agenda enhanced by portraying adoptive parents as denying and fearful. P2P > Riiiiight. And, Linda Clausen has sat with how many adoptive parents in their > homes and watched them wince at the mention of :::whisper:::: adoption?? I [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > P2P I wouldn't say "denying and fearful" more like evil, self-righteous and patheticly incapable of dealing with God's desire to prevent them from reproducing, given their drastically flawed DNA. >> Riiiiight. And, Linda Clausen has sat with how many adoptive parents in their >> homes and watched them wince at the mention of :::whisper:::: adoption?? I [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >with God's desire to prevent them from reproducing, given their >drastically flawed DNA. WTF? I guess your god wanted you to coerce your daughter into giving up her baby. That sounds pretty f'ing flawed to me. -------------- Robyn Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster #1557 > >> Riiiiight. And, Linda Clausen has sat with how many adoptive parents in their > >> homes and watched them wince at the mention of :::whisper:::: adoption?? I [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster > #1557 Adoptive parents are a huge block to open records. Some *do* support, more are *beginning* to support, but as a whole they have as much regard for the rights of adopted persons than they do for the rights of cockroaches. In every legislature we are involved with there is at least one big fat powerful male adopter (they are usually men who seem to suffer from masculinity problems) who practically gives his life so that adopted persons can't have theirs. Marley >Subject: Re: Talking About Adoption >From: "Marley Greiner" maddogmarley@worldnet.att.net >Date: 7/25/2004 5:43 PM Eastern Standard Time >Message-id: <eQVMc.324666$Gx4.288159@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net> < snip > >Adoptive parents are a huge block to open records. Not in the pack I run with. >Some *do* support, more are *beginning* to support, A good thing. I guess the same can be said about birthparents. >but as a whole they have as much regard for the rights of adopted >persons than they do for the rights of cockroaches. Not true. I have yet to step on my children and grind them into the floor. Not that I haven't thought about it. Gimme some time. >In every legislature we are involved with there is at least one big fat >powerful male adopter (they are usually men who seem to suffer from >masculinity problems) who practically gives his life so that adopted >persons can't have theirs. A dying breed, as it were. Dad > >Subject: Re: Talking About Adoption > >From: "Marley Greiner" maddogmarley@worldnet.att.net [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Not in the pack I run with. I agree you're not in the pack, simply by showing up on alt.adoption, you show you're not. However, the vast number of aparents don't t show up here or in any "progressive" adoption forum either on the Internet or in their own communities. And those who do show up on private lists (which I'm most familiar with) , are most definitely not like you. Just hang out on there for awhile--especially on the international adoption discussion lists--and watch the dark side of adoption, the fear of bparents, the entitlement to other people's children, and the disregard these people have for the rights of adopted people, both children and adults as well as bparents. Think of PlayRoy multiplied by 10,000. You might also sit in on legislative hearings and listen to the hysteria of aparents and legislators at the slightest mention of adoptee rights: bogus privacy issues and the shut-up-you-should- be-glad- you- weren't-aborted rote. It is nothing but pure fear of adoption truth and the possible losss of power. > >Some *do* support, more are *beginning* to support, > > A good thing. I guess the same can be said about birthparents. I don't t hink bparents have ever been a problem. Aparents have. But as I want to reiterate, it's certainly not all aparents. There ae plenty of good giuys out there. > >but as a whole they have as much regard for the rights of adopted > >persons than they do for the rights of cockroaches. > > Not true. I have yet to step on my children and grind them into the floor. > Not that I haven't thought about it. Gimme some time. I can do if for you if you like. > >In every legislature we are involved with there is at least one big fat > >powerful male adopter (they are usually men who seem to suffer from > >masculinity problems) who practically gives his life so that adopted > >persons can't have theirs. > > A dying breed, as it were. I don't know. As long as those in power behave this way, nothing will change. It makes no difference if every aparent in the US supports adoptee rights, if those who hold the power don't. But don't fear! We do love and appreciate you! Marley > Dad > > >Subject: Re: Talking About Adoption > > >From: "Marley Greiner" maddogmarley@worldnet.att.net [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > or in any "progressive" adoption forum either on the Internet or in their > own communities. <snip> I would say that the vast number of birthparents and the vast number of adoptees also do not show up here or on most other forums. Thos of us who do turn up here would tend to be that small percentage at each end of the spectrum of views (cf Bell Curve). Hopefully those at the 'right' end of the spectrum can manage to educate and persuade the ignorant at the lower end. ta-ra nigel  Signature----- to reply, remove cavemen from below: fred.nillspam.barney@yahoo.com >Subject: Re: Talking About Adoption >From: mhjtw@hotmail.com (Melinda Walmsley) [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] >with God's desire to prevent them from reproducing, given their >drastically flawed DNA. At least we can spell recepshunist. Dad > > Riiiiight. And, Linda Clausen has sat with how many adoptive parents in > > their [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > with God's desire to prevent them from reproducing, given their > drastically flawed DNA. Maybe God desired that your daughter should give up her child. steve > > Riiiiight. And, Linda Clausen has sat with how many adoptive parents in their > > homes and watched them wince at the mention of :::whisper:::: adoption?? I [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > with God's desire to prevent them from reproducing, given their > drastically flawed DNA. No wonder people don't take you seriously. Kathy 1 > I wouldn't say "denying and fearful" > > more like evil, self-righteous and patheticly incapable of dealing > with God's desire to prevent them from reproducing, given their > drastically flawed DNA. What about all those with "drastically flawed" DNA who manage to reproduce? >Subject: Re: Talking About Adoption >From: megan14r-reps@yahoo.com (megan) [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > >What about all those with "drastically flawed" DNA who manage to reproduce? God meant them to be breeders for others. ------------------------- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!" -----Unknown > > Linda Clausen must have an agenda enhanced by portraying adoptive > > parents as denying and fearful. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > with God's desire to prevent them from reproducing, given their > drastically flawed DNA. Melinda. Always good for a laugh. Rh. >Subject: Re: Talking About Adoption >From: mhjtw@hotmail.com (Melinda Walmsley) [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] >with God's desire to prevent them from reproducing, given their >drastically flawed DNA. So how's your adopted grand daughter, birth grandma? Kathy |
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