Family Forum / Parenting / Adoption / January 2005

This group used to be so much fun, remember Scom, Lisa boo, duckster, Sue T.,
Veronica Moronica..?.......We used to laugh so hard we couldn't breathe, coffee
was spewing onto keyboards on a daily basis...........

Here is one of my favorites.....

Dear Birthmother,

Hi, our names are Janet and Bob, and we really want to adopt your baby. Let us
start by introducing ourselves, I met Bob eight years ago when he was a
Freshman at Yalee University, not Yale, yes I meant Yalee. Bob had flunked out
of every Math and English course that he ever took, so he decided to go into
computers. I met him at a frat party, I don't remember what happened after the
purple passion drinks, but I do remember that he got kicked out of the frat
house and moved in with me. I was a beauty student and wanted to do acrylic
nails, I had no idea the girl who sat next to me was dealing crank, but, well
the school got shut down. Bob and I have been off and on again for eight years
and got married two years ago. That was the only way we could get the benefits.

Bob now cleans computers at the Bank and I clean restrooms for fast food
restaurants. We work staggered shifts so someone should always be at home with
your baby, well most of the time. Bob and I have a relationship based on
infidelities, (that trollop), dis-respect, (he has a big mouth), chaos, (we are
almost bankrupt), and abuse, (he got probation).. We do get along when we drink
however. We are hoping that your baby will help us salvage the relationship,
it's our last chance before the big D..

I am not infertile, I just hate sex, and I don't think Bob likes women that
much anyway. Our family wants us to have a baby, they need someone to help with
the chores, but grandma doesn't want to get involved, she has 39 grandchildren
already. We plan on putting the child in day care as soon as it is born, so it
will have proper attention.

Our house is rented in a mediocre neighborhood, and our school system is rated
49 out of the 50 states. We are hoping to buy in a trailer park, but we can't
scrape together the $800 for the down payment. We do have a portable crib that
can sit on the couch for your baby. We also will be eligible for WIC so the
baby will be well fed.

Why are we advertising on the internet? Well, that is a good question, we don't
have the money to adopt really, we can't afford the legal fees, agency or
facilitator fees, we can't even afford a postage stamp, so we are appealing to
those who may come by here to give us a chance. If you place your baby with us
we promise a lackluster education, the basest of health care, cheap fast food,
hand me down clothes, and walks through a park with crack vials all around. Our
neighborhood is not great. So, why should you place with us? Because this is
the only HONEST birthmother letter you will ever read, and that's a promise. We
also really want a baby. Please call me at 1-800- gottahave1, and please call
collect. Oh, by the way, we are TOTALLY Christian.

Janet

sarcasm alert............for those addicted to deja news