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Family Forum / Parenting / Adoption / November 2003adopt sworn to secrecy?
I have a 1/2 sister that I learned about 5 years ago my Dad had a whole other family while married to my Mom the kept the first boy (I had knew him as step-brother) then they he and now step-mother had a girl they gve up for adoption, got married after my parents divorced and had another girl they kept it's the girl that got adopted I wonder about, I know the chances are damned near if not impossible to find NY laws say as a sibling I can search talked it over w/my Therapist and decided it was best to give it up, hell she may not even know she's adopted I get a letter from my step-mother, saying I "had" to drop, it was none of my buisness and this makes me wonder she says her and my dad were sworn to secrecy by courts, that neither are allowed to talk about. The adoption was done in NY state, 40 yrs ago (my dad is dead) anybody heard of an adoption being sworn to secrecy by the courts? ensoul I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. ~ Douglas Adams When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it? ~Eleanor Roosevelt >Subject: adopt sworn to secrecy? >From: ensoul100@aol.com (Ensoul100) [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] >talked it over w/my Therapist and decided it was best to give it up, hell she >may not even know she's adopted Not your problem. You and your brother have a right to know your sister, and she has a right to know you, if you all desire it. If she does not know she was adopted, she should! Her parents have a moral responsibility to tell her. >I get a letter from my step-mother, saying I "had" to drop, it was none of my >buisness That would be wrong. It is very much your business. What does your brother think of all of this?? Your step-mother is wrong, and it's none of her business if you search for YOUR SISTER. Sounds like she's trying to hide something else... >and this makes me wonder >she says her and my dad were sworn to secrecy by courts, that neither are >allowed to talk about. The adoption was done in NY state, 40 yrs ago >(my dad is dead) > >anybody heard of an adoption being sworn to secrecy by the courts? The wording of each relinquishment is different. She may have been told she would not have contact with the minor child. But, those papers were signed a LONG time ago. It is not illegal for you to search, you will not be going against anything your step-mother did. You are not her. If I were you, I wouldn't wait another day to start searching! >ensoul > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > human misery rather than avenge it? >~Eleanor Roosevelt Kathy, born Renee Karyn Racine Permanent good can never be the outcome of untruth and violence. --Mahatma Gandhi Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal. --Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. >Subject: Re: adopt sworn to secrecy? >From: reneekarynracine@aol.comhomesafe (Kathy T) Thank you so much, you're kind and supportive..that means a lot I have been searching on and off, when I get fed with lack of results I take break problem I don't have the proper info to do a real search the brother, is a half bother...didn't grow up w/him and he lived cross country last I knew he had a drinking problem and gave his child to another sister my dad is dead, step mom refuses to talk it I don't the date of adopted sisters birth have a idea in years, thats not enough don't know what name step mom used on her birth certifacate her maiden name which I don't know or either of her 2 married names, which I do know again, many thanks ensoul I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. ~ Douglas Adams When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it? ~Eleanor Roosevelt >Subject: Re: adopt sworn to secrecy? >From: ensoul100@aol.com (Ensoul100) >Date: 11/26/2003 >don't know what name step mom used on her birth certifacate >her maiden name which I don't know >or either of her 2 married names, which I do know Is her maiden name listed on her and your fathers marriage certificate? Kathy |
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