Family Forum / Parenting / Adoption / November 2005

http://www.mykawartha.com/ka/news/kawartha_lakes/story/3181470p-3685863c.html

'A niece lived on the same street and I didn't know'
Woman's search for birth family would have been much easier under new
law
Nov 25, 2005

Lance Anderson - More from this author

Recent changes to Ontario's adoption laws would have made Shirley
O'Grady's search for her birth family a lot easier.

She spent years investigating the whereabouts of her family when all
she needed was a simple form stored securely in Thunder Bay.

In less than 18 months, that hospital birth record will be made
available to adoptees looking to find their birth families. Even though
Ms O'Grady, 65, found her roots, she still can't wait for the day when
she can receive the birth record.

"Being an adoptee is like living with amnesia because you just don't
know," says Ms O'Grady, co-chair of the local Adoption Disclosure
Support Group.

"For me, it will be so special to hold that document in my hand; a
document my mother signed saying I was born."

She reunited with her birth family 13 years ago. She searched Ontario
extensively for her birth mother and, ironically, found her living
nearby, along with her lost brothers and sisters.

Ms O'Grady spent a lot of time searching records and cemeteries,
starting from where she was born in Kirkland Lake. Eventually she
placed an ad in the Toronto Star's former People Search column and was
contacted by her birth sister.

"She read the column on a Saturday and saw my mother's maiden name and
decided to phone me. Within three days we had the whole story put
together."

She was 52 when she finally met her mother, who had put her up for
adoption at the age of five. Ms O'Grady says the reunion was wonderful
and they spent two years getting to know each other before her mom took
ill. She later died in Ms O'Grady's arms. Today, she remains close to
two sisters living in Bethany and two brothers, one in Ajax and the
other in Oshawa.

Ms O'Grady says the strangest result of her search was learning her
birth family lived close to her in Peterborough and she didn't even
know it.

"My birth mother was in Peterborough, but had to be moved to a nursing
home in Lindsay ," says Ms O'Grady.

"But I had a niece living on the same street in Peterborough and I
didn't even know it."

Her search ended happily but, she says, would have concluded a lot
sooner had she been able to access her birth record. Ms O'Grady
explains that when someone is born in the hospital, the mother fills
out a live birth report and signs it. She adds that document is known
as the original birth certificate or birth report. That is the document
that is sealed in Thunder Bay and the one Ms O'Grady, and other
adoptees, have fought the government to release.

According to a Toronto Star story, more than 10 years of fighting ended
recently when the Province passed a bill that will open the records to
the public, making Ontario the fourth province to do so. It passed
third reading, but won't be proclaimed into law for another 18 months.

However, there was some opposition to the law, says Ms O'Grady, noting
some parents don't want to be found.

"But they have an option of putting a no-contact veto in place; birth
parents can say if they don't want to be contacted," explains Ms
O'Grady. If adoptees violate the veto, they can be fined, she adds.

The new law will also allow birth parents to access original or current
birth certificates, and the important details they contain.

Cheryl, who didn't want her last name used, co-chair of the Adoption
Disclosure Support Group, says she put her birth son up for adoption in
1968. She found him in 1994 after years of sleuthing.

After she learned his adoptive parents had lived in Peterborough, she
did a house-by-house search. That led her down other paths and
eventually she met him on the west coast. He was 24 at the time.

"I contacted the adopted father...I sent him a letter and he called me
back," says Cheryl.

"I didn't meet him (my son) until the spring of 1995 when I flew out to
British Columbia. We spent a week slowly getting to know each other."

She adds her son has since moved to Ontario and says she was there for
the birth of her grandchildren.

"These changes (to adoption laws) were a long time coming," says
Cheryl.

"It's good for people who want to find answers without the red tape and
anxiety."

According to the Toronto Star article, the Province will launch an
advertising campaign across Canada and the United States to inform
people of the changes to the law, giving people time to put a
no-contact veto in place.