Family Forum / Parenting / Adoption / December 2006

I didn't come through here. What did igt say?

Marley

Nor do I. But know what? Being disagreed with doesn't rattle her.

I agree on both counts (helluva writer, that is. And always enjoy her
blog, even when I don't agree).

I've always been rather fond of the word "egregious" myself.

Oh, c'mon, Robyn! Don't be coy. Show a little more enthusiasm ;-)

This is all so girlllly-girl.  In ther real world nobody cares about
this crap. It's no wonder I've come to prefer to company of men.

Marley

you know what joy, i am the adoptive dad that you are discussing on
this forum.  I have never met you, nor do i wish to meet you.

If you go back to your 'forum' and take an open mind, you can  see that
it wasnt me who started  any of this.

basically folks, this is what happened, for the record.

there was an article posted:

"A teenage girl reunited with her father last year after a decade in
foster care is suing Los Angeles County for taking so long to bring
them together." (the article went on and on)

people were saying how awful this was for the family.

however, i chimed in and stated that i cant believe that the father
didnt look for her.  I felt that if the father really wanted to find
his daughter in foster care, it wouldnt be that diffulcult.  I felt
that the father just maybe out to get some money and using the daughter
as a pawn in all of this.  My feeling was that maybe the father didnt
want to be found.

But it was just another opinion.

i got slammed from alot of people who tell me that the system is at
fault.

Then i came on and said, well, though its not a perfect system, the
system has helped people.

Little did i know that i was dealing with 'forever victims'.  I had no
idea that everyone on that site had been abused by the system.

I have worked for 14 years in the system,  and i admitted it wasnt the
best (that would be why alot of SSW's burnout) but it has helped
people.

I then got blasted from that site for stating the system had helped
some people, yes joy, you were one of the pot stireres who started it.

this continued and continued on how i can be so insensitive to people
who the system did not work for.  Which for me, was that it was a
public forum, not an adult fostered forum.  Lets get the record
straight on that one.

but people from that site kept hounding me on how cruel i was and how
the system doesnt help people.

i pointed out that my children were also abused and if the system did
not work for them, they would be dead, since their birthmother tried to
kill them.

but to no avail, i was then blammed for even bringing up my children.
When i felt that this is what it was all about.  the system saved my
children.

but it didnt matter.

Joy, you kept egging me on, even after i discussed my children how the
system didnt work.

So let me ask you....I did not know any of the adults on that site,
however i do know my children, and my heart goes more to them then some
faceless person on the internet, so, who would you protect, your kids,
or this faceless someone?  who clearly was unstalbe, because she had
left the forum quite a few times before i even talked to her.

but NOOOOOOO it was all my fault.  You guys took your issues with the
'system' and turned it on me.

I went to my power point presentation at work, and downloaded pictures
of abused children who were taken out of their abused homes by the
'system'

joy "he responds by getting pictures from Hustler magazine that did an
expose on child abuse around the time I was freakin' born, that came
with a warning, in Hustler for crying out loud and posted them to a
pretty PG forum"

"and just think
for one moment the effort he went to, to upload each picture, It was
very premeditated, and you can laugh and say oh those people who
claimed there kids were upset about it were liars, but I did many
things with my child on my lap, and those pictures were very upsetting
to me, I didn't even see all of them just two.  That was enough."

joy, here is a lie, how dare you excuse me of getting these pictures
from hustler magazine!!!!  These pictures are used in psych 101 classes
when discussing child abuse.  now you just think for a minute, do you
really think that i have a stach of old hustler magazines in my closet
(when you were born as you state) and dowloaded the pictures and posted
them?  be serious.  this is what we call pot stirrers, people who throw
out crap that doesnt make sence and have people react to it.

You state these facts but they are NOT true.  And since you dont lie,
how did you know they were from hustler magazine, i didnt even know
that.  oh wait, wasnt it the owner of the site that stated it?  If you
think for one minute that i believe you have a copy of this hustler
magazine from when you were born, then i have to question it.   You
just rode on the coatails of the owner.

the fact about those pictures, they were from a power point
presentation on abused children (i do not know where the pictures first
appeard) but i do know they are published in psych 101 books to put a
face to abused children.

as for the pictures to be pornoghraphic, yes, you can use your
dictionary to prove your point, but if i ask anyone, i mean anyone,
when they hear the word porn, they dont think pictures of abused
children.  that is your issue and you will find anything you can to
hurt me and assault me.

when you wrote i dowloaded pictures of kid porn.  how do you think
people took it.  You are very very mean.  you know damn well how people
would of  taken it.

here is another lie,
"For the record, my only apology to him, was in a forum that he did
have
a voice in"
you also know that i do not have access to soul of adoption.  you
posted on soul of adoption that i PM'd you porn, Your friend over there
even asked you to stop stating it, and you wanted to know why.

so that is a lie also.  when you said that you posted this on a site
that i had access to.

joy
"claiming he is a social worker, and
knows about this stuff, hey I lived with a fost-adopt social worker,
and she was incredibly sensitive to this kind of stuff and would have
never reacted that way, her training and education ran against behaving

that way. "

im glad you lived with a fost-adopt social worker, and she was loving,
but im not sure what that has to do with me.  training and education?.
What in the world makes you think that social workers are not human.
We have feelings, we get angry.

Lets not forget where we know each other.  we know each other from the
computer, a nameless face.  the things you have said to me, the names
you have called me, chances are you would not call me that in public.
So please, dont use the internet 'personality' as really getting to
know someone.

joy "those people who
claimed there kids were upset about it were liars, but I did many
things with my child on my lap, and those pictures were very upsetting
to me, I didn't even see all of them just two.  That was enough. "

you just proved my point, you stopped looking at them after two.  this
so called 'parent' her child in  her lap who claims he saw all of them.
use your common sence.  plus when she responded to the pictures, she
never claimed anything about a child in her lap.  Oh, that scenario
came much later to prove a  piont.

if my kid was on my lap when those pictures appeard, i would of shut
the computer off and gasped for air, but not this parent, she responded
not once, but twice about how she felt seeing abused children.  it
wasnt until much later did she bring up the kid on her lap....

use your common sence on that one joy.  i cant believe that alot of you
actually believed her.

I have worked in my line of work for a long time.  I adopted two
children from the system with alot of issues.  Yes, i am hurt by what
happened to them, but i am also in favor of a 'system'who removed them
before other damage was done.

soul of adoption has one flavor to the site...victim victim victim..and
if you dont remain a victim then you are not welcome.  it doesnt take
long to figure that out.

my children  are true 'victims', but I will try to raise them without
using their 'victim' status as excuses for bad behaviors.  I realize i
was blasted on that site for that, but that just further proves my
point.

I am sorry that your adopted parents werent wonderful, im sorry that
you probably would  of loved to been raised with your bioparents, but
dont hurt me or my family with your viscious 'lies' or your 'viscious'
assumptions'.  You dont know me, as i dont know you.  and i dont
appreciate that i have to keep defending myself to your viscious
assumptions.

as for jackie and donna,  who actually was on that site when this went
down, saw what was happening and the injustice of it all.  I did
apologize for posting the pictures,  probably was in bad taste, but
there is nothing left for me to say on that subject.

but you seem to have alot to say as you continue to spread these
viscious assumptions about me.

joy "I called it pornography"

It is not my fault that one thinks pictures of abused children are
porno.  and yes, i think its sick that you do.

This is beginning to sound a lot like Christmas.   ;-O

Kathy