Family Forum / Parenting / Adoption / December 2006

Do you mind directing me to that board?  Or is it out there with the rest of
your imagination?

(the)duckster

Mama Duck was there. She adopted a child from China. She's been around
here for a while. Lots of us find her a common-sense oriented person.

And she's a hell of a bar-singer.

But don't believe her -- do some research, and something more than
'people on an online discussion board'.

Again, honey, Google is your friend.

steve

Steve White wrote:

So you're saying that a baby who is from SE Asia, has yellow skin and
mongoloid facial features looks like the average adoptive parent in the
US?  You're an idiot.

Not unless they specify they only want a black child.

Not unless they specify they only want a white child.  Only 15% of
black Birthmoms specify race.

No, but specifying that you will only take a child of your race is
racism.  It's seeing one race as more desirable than another.

In other words, "I like black people, I just don't want to parent one."

Nice set of morals you have there.

-L.

Steve White wrote:

Ummm...Most of the U.S. couples adopting ASIAN babies from China and
Korea  are overwhelmingly WHITE!!  And trust me, NO one thinks that
Asians look just like white Americans.

You're approaching the question from the wrong direction.

How common is it for a black couple to adopt a white child? (Can this
even be done?  Has it been done?)

How easy is it for a white couple to adopt a black child? Apparently
there are arguments on both sides.

People wrote:

7.  Out of how many "wealthy" African American men in the US?  Again,
what percentage is it?  You claimed a "high percentage" have white
partners.

And BTW, Tiger Woods does not self-identify as black.  He's
multiethnic.

-L.

Generalize much?  Or does this info just shoot out of your a.s like one
of Dorothy's flying monkeys?

He's so f.cking stupid he can't even get the attributions right.

-L.

I want to applaud you for your educated and passionate posts about adoption,
and for the fact that you don't give up when people shoot crap back at you.

TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION: CULTURAL GENOCIDE OR A VIABLE CHOICE?

I am Caucasian, and an American. My children are African Americans. I
adopted both of them as a single parent. Single parent adoption
presents its own set of unique struggles: The process itself is more
difficult than traditional adoption, and single parents are often
subject to discrimination in the adoptive process. I found my way,
pressed on, and succeeded not once, but twice, in creating a home for a
child who was at that time a ward of her state.

But the challenges and stumbling blocks of single-parent adoption are
nothing compared to the obstacles to trans-racial adoptions, which in
the United States at this time is most frequently the adoption of black
children by white parents. I have heard members of the National
Association of Black Social Workers (NABSW) refer to transracial
adoption as "cultural genocide."

Beyond angering and frustrating me, which it does, it also saddens me.
Not only for the children whose families are deemed deficient because
of their racial make-up and the deficiencies they are presumed to face
because of white parenting, whatever that is, but also for the future
of all children.

http://www.thewholemom.com/Files/Essays/Feb_15_06_Essay_transracial_adoption.html

Dad

Adoption in Black and White
An odd coalition takes aim at the decades-old prejudice against
transracial placements

BY JILL SMOLOWE

Beverly and David Cox never expected to make a permanent home for the
baby girls they call by their initials, M.W. and T.W.; they intended
only to provide foster care until the sisters' schizophrenic mother or
another relative assumed responsibility. But that was five years ago,
before the Coxes purchased a swing set, stocked their home in suburban
Delafield, Wisconsin, with The Lion King, Pinocchio and Aladdin videos,
and learned to distinguish M.W.'s tastes (macaroni and cheese) from
T.W.'s (jelly sandwiches, hold the peanut butter). It was also before
the Milwaukee County Human Services Department asked the Coxes to adopt
the girls, now 5 and 6, and the couple readily agreed. But on June 14,
M.W. and T.W. were removed by court order to the home of an aunt. Since
then the Coxes have been allowed to see the children only once, on July
28, when they all dined together at a rib joint under the strict
supervision of a caseworker. "We raised these girls for five years,"
Beverly says indignantly, "and now I can't even take them to the
bathroom."

The reason, the Coxes believe, is that the girls are black and the
Coxes are white. "The issue is biology, not race," says Jeff Aikin of
Human Services, which changed its position after the aunt demanded
custody of the girls. But as Beverly remembers it, the aunt, who wants
to care for the children without terminating her sister's parental
rights, said, "I don't want the kids raised or adopted in a white
home." The Coxes have appealed the removal order--and phoned Hillary
Clinton's office seeking support. Two weeks ago, the First Lady ended
her new syndicated newspaper column with a plea for fewer restrictions
on interracial adoptions, writing that "skin color [should] not
outweigh the more important gift of love that adoptive parents want to
offer."

Of the roughly 440,000 children who currently languish in America's
foster-care system, 20,000 are available for adoption, most of them
older children between the ages of 6 and 12. Among the adoptable
children, 44% are white and 43% are black. But 67% of all families
waiting to adopt are white, and many of them are eager to take a black
child. The hurdles, however, are often formidable. Though only three
states--Arkansas, California and Minnesota--have laws promoting race
matching in adoptions, 40 others favor the practice.

Many of these guidelines date from the early '70s, when the National
Association of Black Social Workers condemned interracial adoption,
eventually branding such placements "cultural genocide." Last year the
NABSW softened its stance to make transracial adoption a third option
behind preservation of biological African-American families and
placement of black children in black homes. But this racial bias has
long been opposed by many adoption advocates, who have recently found
unlikely allies among conservative Republicans averse to any form of
racial preference and eager to move children off government support.

This unusual coalition is pressing for new federal guidelines to make
the adoption process color-blind. The welfare-reform bill approved by
the House includes a financial penalty for states that delay or deny an
adoption because of race, but the Senate has yet to debate the issue.
Until the two chambers reach a compromise, the operative law is the
Multiethnic Placement Act, which allows state agencies to consider race
when making placements.

Meanwhile, the real-life consequences of the same-race requirements
have emerged in a number of court battles. Most prominent has been the
case of Lou Ann and Scott Mullen of Lexington, Texas, who filed suit in
April to adopt two black brothers, ages 2 and 6, whom they have raised
since infancy. Though Texas law bars race from being the determining
factor in adoption, the Mullens charge that caseworkers delayed the
adoption in order to seek an African-American home. Their case is
bolstered by a separate class action against the state of Texas, filed
jointly by lawyers at the conservative Institute for Justice in
Washington and three liberal Harvard law professors--Elizabeth
Bartholet, Randall Kennedy and Laurence Tribe--that aims to have
race-matching practices declared unconstitutional. Argues Tribe:
"Leaving African-American kids in foster care rather than allowing them
to be adopted by loving parents inflicts very serious harm on
children."

Bill Mandel couldn't agree more. In 1991 he and his wife became foster
parents of Robyn, a three-day-old, crack-addicted black infant who had
been abandoned on San Francisco's Mission Street. For more than a year,
the Mandels were never contacted by county social workers. But when
they tried to adopt Robyn at age 14 months, the county sought to remove
the child from their care, citing the lack of a racial match. The
Mandels obtained a restraining order, then in May 1994 won the right to
adopt. Mandel has little patience for those who worry about the child's
sense of identity. "Every parent has to address that," Mandel argues,
"regardless of race."

Rita Simon, a sociologist at the American University in Washington,
tracked 200 parents and children from interracial families for 20
years. In 1971 she found the youngsters understood their race was
different from that of their parents, but did not seem bothered by the
fact. Twelve years later, the kids--then teenagers--perceived their
parents as "very, very committed" to informing their children about
black issues. "They would say, 'My God, not every dinner conversation
has to be about black history,'" says Simon. When she returned again in
1991, the grown children told Simon, "We're not Oreos. We may not share
the same taste in music or even dress like children who live in the
ghetto, but that doesn't make us any less black."

Harvard's Kennedy notes that there is no consensus among
African-American parents on how to raise a child. "I'm sure there's a
difference between the way Jesse Jackson raises his kids, Louis
Farrakhan raises his kids and my parents raised me," he says.
Ruth-Arlene Howe, a law professor at Boston College, counters that
efforts to ensure race-blind adoptions are "a major, major assault on
black families."

Try telling that to the Coxes, who worked hard to instill a sense of
black identity in M.W. and T.W. They enrolled the girls in an
interracial play group and an integrated Lutheran church, and were
planning to move from their white suburb to a racially mixed
neighborhood. But all that is on hold now, as the Coxes worry--and
wait.

http://www.time.com/time/classroom/psych/unit7_article2.html

Dad

A Texas Case Reflects a National Debate

The low point in Scott and Lou Ann Mullen's long battle to adopt their
two youngest sons came one evening as they watched the local news.
There, in a segment on children in search of loving homes, flashed the
sweet, familiar faces of Joseph and Matthew. The boys were hoping, the
announcer said, that a nice family would want to adopt them.

It was almost more than the Mullens could bear. They wanted to adopt
the young brothers. They felt that Joseph and Matthew already were
their children, ripped away from them by a state agency because of the
color of their skin.

Scott Mullen is white; Lou Ann is Native American, and Joseph and
Matthew, now 7 and 4, are black. After more than two heart-wrenching
years, the Mullens finally have been allowed to adopt the brothers, but
the adoption was approved only after they filed suit charging the Texas
Department of Protective and Regulatory Services with racial
discrimination in its adoption practices.

Under a recent settlement, the agency agreed to turn over adoption
statistics for the next two years to the Institute of Justice, the
Washington, D.C. - based conservative advocacy group that assisted the
Mullens - but department officials deny that race played a part in
their decisions.

Lou Ann Mullen says she knows better. "Several caseworkers, the
adoption supervisor, they all said, 'No, it would be in the kids' best
interest to place them in an African American home,"' says Mullen, 31,
a mother of eight, including seven adopted children, and a longtime
foster parent. "Those words will stick with me for the rest of my
life-what about love?"

http://library.adoption.com/culture-and-ethnicity/the-colors-of-adoption-black-v
s-white/article/1791/1.html

Dad

http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2005/10/29/too-much-caffeine-and-now-too-little/

There was a lot of media attention recently on the fact that there are
agencies who routinely place American black babies with foreigners -
Canada got the most press - because of the dearth of willing white
parents here in the states. But let's look more closely at all of
this. Here is an interesting commentary.

Correspondent Lesley Stahl never even suggested another big reason why
adoption agencies might look outside of America for parents to adopt
black children. For decades, the National Association of Black Social
Workers (NABSW) and others called transracial adoptions "cultural
genocide." In 1992, the NABSW issued a paper condemning
"transracial" black-white adoptions between Americans, warning
against "transculturation . . . when one dominant culture overpowers
and forces another culture to accept a foreign form of existence,"
and stated that "children need to be with those who are most familiar
with their culture, heritage and family system." I attempted to
determine whether NABSW still maintains its official status against
"transracial adoptions," but as of final editing of this article,
no one from the organization returned a phone call or e-mail.

This, I think, is significant. When I talk to adoptive or wannabe
adoptive parents who don't feel up to the task of transracial
adoption (and when I lurk on the message boards), mostly what I hear is
this: They don't feel capable of doing it right. In other words, I
have never heard anyone outside of an Aryan Nation rally every say
anything remotely like, "Yeah, I don't want me none of those awful
black babies!" What I hear is: "I don't think my extended family
would accept my child," "I don't think my community is diverse
enough to support a child of color as s/he grows," "I'm afraid I
would fail a child whose life will already be more difficult." The
statement by the NABSW certainly gave me pause (read my archives and
you'll see).

http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2005/10/29/too-much-caffeine-and-now-too-little/

Dad

Not the case in Chicago. Agencies here still strongly support adopting
children into families of the same race. Only when that can't be done
will they consider families of another race.

steve

Overcoming Adoption's Racial Barriers

When Martina Brockway and Mike Timble, a white couple in Chicago,
decided to adopt a child, Ms. Brockway went to an adoption agency
presentation at a black church to make it clear they wanted an
African-American baby.

Their biological daughter, Rumeur, 3, is accumulating black dolls in
preparation for her new brother or sister. Black-themed children's
books like "Please, Baby, Please" by the filmmaker Spike Lee and
his wife, Tonya Lewis Lee, share shelf space with Elmo and Dr. Seuss.

But the couple's decision provoked some uneasy responses. One of Mr.
Timble's white friends asked, "Aren't there any white kids
available?"

Ms. Brockway's black friends were supportive. "But," she said,
"I also sensed that there was maybe something they weren't
saying."

Mr. Timble cut in. "Like maybe they were thinking, 'What do these
people think they are doing?' "

Ms. Brockway and Mr. Timble are among a growing number of white couples
pushing past longtime cultural resistance to adopt black children.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/17/us/17adopt.html?ex=1313467200&en=13ef14e4fab5a
e58&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Dad

OK, now that you've given more information.  Before, you had held yourself up as
an example of White parents adopting Black infants, when in fact you are a set
of parents of both White and Black parents.

Or, things were different ten to thirteen years ago, when I was considering
adoption.

I'm glad if things have opened up for Black children needing permanent families.
Personally I do know of a White couple who have adopted two Black boys (on my
block), although through fostering.

Banty

My, my.  How classy.

This be the reason the brothas like  to have a white bitch.  The
sisters I know don't blow.

LaShan

It's acceptable any time.  Are you into coerced birth or something.

Do you realize where you're posting?  alt.adoption.  I'll cut you a break on
this since you're obviously not part of AdoptionLand.   In all but Kansas,
Alaska, Oregon, Alabama, and New Hampshire, the original birth certificates
of adopted persons are sealed from them.  ie.  they're not allowed to have
them.  The cert they are issued is an amended birth certificate with a new
idenetity and false information.  A falsified state document.

No they don't.  Adoptees do not--see above.

Marley

   Everyone has access to their birth certificate.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Ow.  I think I hurt myself.

Where exactly are all the idiots coming from?

Bullshit - I can't my hands in my ORIGINAL birth certificate.  And it's
right in the county courthouse 20 minutes from my house and I can't touch
it. What about you?  Do you have your original birth certificate?

Not their original birth certificate,.

You can't be this stupid. Well, maybe you could.

Do you know the difference between an 'original birth certificate' and
an 'amended birth certifiate'? Think now, it'll come to you.

steve

What does love have to do with it?  Nothing.

    Marley's parents may well have loved their adopted child.  It's clear
that Marley has not adjusted well to the adoption.  Maybe mom and dad
kept this hidden for a long time.  Finding out you're adopted out of the
blue could certainly cause some adverse feelings, but this doesn't mean
the adoptive parents didn't love the child.

    I'm wondering about some of the X-posted groups.  I don't see how the
fat-acceptance group figures in.  I don't see how misc.consumers works
for this either, though I'm posting from there.

    If you wrote it real simple like, I could probably grasp it.  However,
if you're going to be witting for someone with a Doctorate in the field,
*I* would be lost.  Don't know about Marley, but I suspect the same
would be true.

    I played "Dead Body Number Seven" in an episode of "Unsolved Mysteries"
once.  I had nearly a full second of screen time.
    That's the beginning and end of my professional acting career :)

    I post under my real name.  I'm an "old school" useneter (been on
Usenet for roughly 12 - 13 years).  At once time, people could post not
only their real names, but include their home address and phone number.
    If I had recently joined Usenet, I wouldn't use my real name.  I
continue to do so because I'm used to it, and it makes it easier for
those who know me to be able to converse with me.

    I can't figure out why anyone would *chose* to be bitter.

    Even if Marley is concerned for any child, the birth certificate of any
child that is not hers is none of her business.  Nor anyone else's,
except under certain, specific, circumstances.

    Few people have access to the birth certificate filed at the court
house.  Everyone has access to a certified copy of their birth
certificate.  If one is a parent of a minor child, they have legal
access to a certified copy of their child(ren)'s certificate(s) as well.