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Family Forum / Parenting / Adoption / December 2007Giving up baby for adoption a true gift
Send the man your thoughts. He didn't ask for mine. J. Giving up baby for adoption a true gift HARLAN COHEN Article Last Updated: 12/10/2007 11:55:28 AM CST Dear Harlan: I gave up my daughter for adoption a year ago, and I have been told by a lot of people that good stuff is supposed to happen for me because I did one of the most selfless things anyone can do. She is with one of the greatest families, but I miss her every day. I still get to see pictures of her, talk to the adoptive mom and keep in contact. I wanted to keep her, but my dad made me see that with the financial situation I am in right now, it would not have been good to have kept her. I can barely take care of myself. I was just wondering what your advice would be on how to move on with my life. Do you really think good things will happen for me? Nothing good has come my way yet.. - Missing My Daughter Dear Missing: Nothing good? You gave your daughter the gift of life, the gift of love and the gift of a family who will take care of her. I imagine you'll always think about your daughter. Connect with people who have been there. Use that support system to become a self- sufficient woman. Then you can make sure the next pregnancy is at the right time, under the right circumstances. Whoever helped you with the adoption also should be able to connect you with a support group. And please, any moms who have been there are invited to share how to move forward. And adults who come from loving adoptive homes also are invited to share; I'm curious what you think of your birth mom years later. Write Harlan at harlan@helpmeharlan.com or see helpmeharlan.com. Send letters to Help Me, Harlan! 2506 N. Clark St., Suite 223, Chicago, IL 60614. "..good things are supposed to happen for me..." ? She's still in the 'mystical' stage, feeling like a fairy godmother. I'm not downing her or her choice. But it eventually de- mystifies, and a whopping load of tough feelings will be there for her. > "..good things are supposed to happen for me..." ? > > She's still in the 'mystical' stage, feeling like a fairy > godmother. I'm not downing her or her choice. But it eventually de- > mystifies, and a whopping load of tough feelings will be there for her. I thought you said you "made yourself happy" about your own adopting out. If so, why do you keep coming to this ng? Dealing with those tough feelings? Like maybe, just maybe, YOU REGRET YOUR ADOPTION? >> "..good things are supposed to happen for me..." ? >> [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > out. If so, why do you keep coming to this ng? Dealing with those > tough feelings? Like maybe, just maybe, YOU REGRET YOUR ADOPTION? WTF?  SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > > "..good things are supposed to happen for me..." ? > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > I thought you said you "made yourself happy" about your own adopting > out. Proper little Santa's helper, aren't you? > If so, why do you keep coming to this ng? And you, why are you here? > Dealing with those > tough feelings? Like maybe, just maybe, YOU REGRET YOUR ADOPTION? Oh, that's right - to get the knife in. And twist it. Charming. On Dec 13, 7:16 pm, kippaherr...@hotmail.com wrote: snip > > I thought you said you "made yourself happy" about your own adopting > > out. > > Proper little Santa's helper, aren't you? Uh, I don't believe in Santa. > > If so, why do you keep coming to this ng? > > And you, why are you here? Returning the "favor" to Momof4. > > Dealing with those > > tough feelings? Like maybe, just maybe, YOU REGRET YOUR ADOPTION? > > Oh, that's right - to get the knife in. No, just pointing out to that deluded twat that karma happens. > And twist it. Charming. The daft bint needs to get a lot of help, and often, pointing out contradictions to the person can be beneficial. She's a trainwreck. She needs to get over herself and then get help. > The daft bint needs to get a lot of help, and often, pointing out > contradictions to the person can be beneficial. Especially to the person who is doing the 'pointing out'. > She's a trainwreck. It takes one to know one. > She needs to get over herself and then get help. You're sure being helpful. Very. Robibnikoff wrote 'WTF?' Elizabeth is sort of poisonous. I wrote about abortion-regret on an abortion board and she had a really strong reaction, very vicious, alot of personal attacks. I am prochoice, but my interest in abortion (and adoption) is more about the feelings of the women/girls who make these choices, and how those feelings sometimes play out. Her feelings about these issues are different... very political, militant almost... and my posts strike her as weak and stupid. She knows that I was very 'Pollyanna' about giving my daughter up as a teen, so I think she posted in this thread to either gloat or to call me a liar. Meeting my daughter recently was wonderful, but feelings of loss and regret hit me like a ton of bricks, which I naively never expected. Also guilt... because I learned of my daughter's struggle with HER feelings about being adopted. None of this is a sob story, it's just a process of growth. Anyway, sorry for attracting Elizabeth over here. > Robibnikoff wrote 'WTF?' > [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > it's just a process of growth. > Anyway, sorry for attracting Elizabeth over here. Hey, no problem. We haven't had some controversy over here for a while ;) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > Send the man your thoughts. He didn't ask for mine. > [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > letters to Help Me, Harlan! 2506 N. Clark St., Suite 223, Chicago, IL > 60614 Not clear.... How old is she? Where is the father in this pregnancy - not hers, but the father of the baby? Does she work? What type of counseling before/after pregnancy? Of legal age to make her own decision? (the)duckster I have no thoughts that would help. |
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