 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
Family Forum / Parenting / Adoption / April 2008Talked to Daddy
Hey y'all Went and gave daddy dearest a call today. He sounded like a pretty cool guy and certainly loved to talk. Gave me a bunch of family information about his kids, his siblings (the youngest of which was murdered about 6 years ago - yikes!). Pretty interesting stuff. He gave his kids (2 daughters and 1 son) my address and phone number, so I should be hearing from at least one of them (the middle one is really into genealogy) shortly. Neato ;)  SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 Kewl. Thanx for the update. At least it makes for an interesting life. > Kewl. > Thanx for the update. > At least it makes for an interesting life. LOL - You ain't kidding ;) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > Hey y'all > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > BAAWA Knight! > #1557 The ride continues! May it have more ups than downs, more grins than groans, Robyn. J. On Mar 15, 12:39?pm, "Robibnikoff" <witchy...@broomstick.com> wrote: > Hey y'all > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > BAAWA Knight! > #1557 >The ride continues! May it have more ups than downs, more grins than >groans, Robyn. Hope so :) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > Hey y'all > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > from at least one of them (the middle one is really into genealogy) > shortly. Neato ;) great Robyn, it's really coming out ok! Did you end up calling him then? Good for you >> Hey y'all >> [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > great Robyn, it's really coming out ok! Did you end up calling him then? > Good for you Yeah, I knew he wanted to communicate and got tired of waiting, so I called him. SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > Hey y'all > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > BAAWA Knight! > #1557 Wow! You've certainly had a week of it! And after all that time! Marley >> Hey y'all >> [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > Wow! You've certainly had a week of it! And after all that time! LOL - I know! It's been crazy. I saw in my email this morning that one of my new half-sisters looked me up on reunion.com. Sent her a message through there. Hopefully I'll hear from her later today :) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 I wish you the best with this new contact. As a birthmom, and knowing how my own kids feel about my birthdaughter, I want to share that you may encounter alot of shyness. My kids are younger than your siblings, but the feeling might be similar. My sons have an admiration for their birth-sister, since she was born before them. They know she has her own life and family, and they are hesitant to behave familiarly with her, because I have told them that she has a family that she loves. I am sharing this in case maybe one of your siblings seems stiff. It may just be shyness.... >I wish you the best with this new contact. As a birthmom, and > knowing how my own kids feel about my birthdaughter, I want to share [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > I am sharing this in case maybe one of your siblings seems > stiff. It may just be shyness.... Stiff, nothing. I got an email from one of my half-sisters yesterday. Apparently they'd known about me since they were kids and made a serious effort to find me about 20 years ago. I told her that I was very interested in contact and I have a feeling she'll respond in kind :) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > >I wish you the best with this new contact. As a birthmom, and > > knowing how my own kids feel about my birthdaughter, I want to share [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > effort to find me about 20 years ago. I told her that I was very > interested in contact and I have a feeling she'll respond in kind :) This is like peeling layers of paint off a wall. I do hope you are journeling. This could all make a very interesting magazine article, you know. I am very happy for you. Fondly, ducks >> >I wish you the best with this new contact. As a birthmom, and >> > knowing how my own kids feel about my birthdaughter, I want to share [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > This is like peeling layers of paint off a wall. LOL! That's a great description. I'm sure there are plenty of layers to go :) > > I do hope you are journeling. This could all make a very interesting > magazine article, you know. Hmmm, never thought of that - And no, I'm not journaling. The last time I did that was when my aparents took us on a family vacation to Africa for a 2-week safari ;) > I am very happy for you. Thanks, I'm rather happy for myself as well. Of course, I already have concerns - Like will it be weird if I become very close to my bdad's kids since they've always wanted to find me and have a relationship - Meanwhile my bmom's kids are well aware of me, yet don't seem to be interested in any contact. Guess it's more than a bit stupid to worry about that at this point though ;) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > >> "mom0f4boys" <momshea4@msn.com> wrote in message news:d4902a1e-9c3d-4be3-a2a3-7ad4f37621d6@a70g2000hsh.googlegroups.com... > >> >I wish you the best with this new contact. As a birthmom, and > >> > knowing how my own kids feel about my birthdaughter, I want to share [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > Hmmm, never thought of that - And no, I'm not journaling. Well, I'd give it some serious thought. With so many things happening at once, it's easy to forget details. I kept one when we adopted and as I go back and read it, I had forgotten things. I am so glad I wrote it all down. The last time I > did that was when my aparents took us on a family vacation to Africa for a > 2-week safari ;) [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > to be interested in any contact. Guess it's more than a bit stupid to worry > about that at this point though ;) Different people certainly process information in their own way. Remember, they are probably as much in shock/denial/amazement as you are. All of a sudden there is all this extended family. Who knew? You didn't ask for advice, but I'm going to deliver the ol "one day at a time" piece of counsel. With nary a road map to follow, every moment will be a surprise, really. Start writing. fondly, ducks > "Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message snip >> Hmmm, never thought of that - And no, I'm not journaling. > > Well, I'd give it some serious thought. With so many things happening at > once, it's easy to forget details. I kept one when we adopted and as I go > back and read it, I had forgotten things. I am so glad I wrote it all > down. Honestly, I don't have the time or desire. > The last time I >> did that was when my aparents took us on a family vacation to Africa for [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > Remember, > they are probably as much in shock/denial/amazement as you are. Possibly, but they've also know I've been back in the picture for quite a bit longer. All of a > sudden there is all this extended family. Who knew? > > You didn't ask for advice, but I'm going to deliver the ol "one day at a > time" piece of counsel. With nary a road map to follow, every moment will > be a surprise, really. That definitely does seem to be the case. > Start writing. Sorry, but no ;) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > > "Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > > Sorry, but no ;) Okay. We'll just have to be satisfied with newsgroup updates! fondly, ducks >> Sorry, but no ;) > > Okay. We'll just have to be satisfied with newsgroup updates! LOL - Yes, yes you will. I'm sorry, but this running around with my amom is really taking its toll. I'm hoping to get her into this assisted living facility in a couple of weeks and there's so much to do. At least she's being more cooperative about the whole thing. I just got back with dealing with her this morning. Whew! SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > >> Sorry, but no ;) > > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > about the whole thing. I just got back with dealing with her this morning. > Whew! On top of everything else, there is a special place in paradise for caregivers. I thought of my father (the)General yesterday, gone 11 years this coming April from colon cancer. Were you about when I was posting about taking care of him? I had my 50k checkup colonscopy. Nothing but net I am happy to say, but while I was fasting and cleansing the two days prior I kept perspective thinking about how he suffered. A sore bum hardly compared. Still, it's not easy to care for an ailing parent. I tease my daughter about chasing me down the road sans pantaloons someday, but that's a joke based in fact. In his last year, ravaged by chemo and cancer, (the)General would take to escaping down the long lane, headed for the highway, in nothing but his socks and stoma. I had to fetch him more than once before he got himself flattened by an 18 wheeler on state route 68. I remind myself of this when as a pre-teen she hits my hot buttons and I want to strangle her. "Be nice", says I to myself, "you might need this girl someday". The fates grant us only as much as we can handle, so you must be a strong woman, indeed. When I was posting to the colon cancer group, I swiped a sign off from Dan Rather who was then anchor for CBS news. People made fun of him, but in my case it seemed appropriate. I give it to you. Courage. ducks. >> >> Sorry, but no ;) >> > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > morning. >> Whew! > On top of everything else, there is a special place in paradise for > caregivers. We'll see ;) > I thought of my father (the)General yesterday, gone 11 years this coming > April from colon cancer. Were you about when I was posting about taking > care of him? I definitely recall it. > I had my 50k checkup colonscopy. Nothing but net I am happy to say, but > while I was fasting and cleansing the two days prior I kept perspective [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > nothing but his socks and stoma. I had to fetch him more than once before > he got himself flattened by an 18 wheeler on state route 68. Oh my goodness, that's terrible! :( > I remind myself of this when as a pre-teen she hits my hot buttons and I > want to strangle her. "Be nice", says I to myself, "you might need this > girl someday". Believe me, my daughter and I have already had this conversation. I've told her that if I start going down the tubes mentally that I won't give her as hard of a time as my amom's been giving me. > The fates grant us only as much as we can handle, so you must be a strong > woman, indeed. I suppose, though it is taking a toll. I've noticed that after dealing with my amom all morning, that I'm totally shot for the rest of the day. I've gotten behind on my household chores and don't want to deal with making dinner for my own family. I've been watching the Hamish MacBeth BBC series and all I can think about it escaping to a small country village in Scotland <sigh> > When I was posting to the colon cancer group, I swiped a sign off from Dan > Rather who was then anchor for CBS news. People made fun of him, but in > my > case it seemed appropriate. I give it to you. > > Courage. Thanks, I really appreciate it ;) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > >> >> Sorry, but no ;) > >> > [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > > Oh my goodness, that's terrible! :( Worse part was this along with other crazy things he did was hysterical at the time. Can you just imagine encountering a naked man with a bag hanging off of him? Ghoulish humour took over. It was awful(ly) funny. May he rest in peace. > > I remind myself of this when as a pre-teen she hits my hot buttons and I > > want to strangle her. "Be nice", says I to myself, "you might need this [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > and all I can think about it escaping to a small country village in Scotland > <sigh> Whatever helps you through the day. I worked at the time doing adverts for a landscape company. I recall bringing in a U-haul full of plants and shrubs and working like a field hand to get them all planted 'round the house so he could see them. When I got tired of that, I would clean. After that, I would train the labs. Then I would go to sleep (or try to) up in the bonus room where my mother kept dozens of dolls. Well you can imagine what that was like when you opened your eyes at night and there they all were staring at you. > > When I was posting to the colon cancer group, I swiped a sign off from Dan > > Rather who was then anchor for CBS news. People made fun of him, but in [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Thanks, I really appreciate it ;) Don't mention it. You write me whenever you feel like it off the newsgroup, or just post and I'll follow the news. Courage, ducks >> "(the)duckster" <duckster@erinet.com> wrote in message snip >> > I had my 50k checkup colonscopy. Nothing but net I am happy to say, >> > but [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > off of him? Ghoulish humour took over. It was awful(ly) funny. May he > rest in peace. I'm a big fan of ghoulish humour, but oh my. >> > I remind myself of this when as a pre-teen she hits my hot buttons and >> > I [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > > Whatever helps you through the day. Aye, Hamish MacBeth is providing a nice little bit of escapism ;) I worked at the time doing adverts for > a landscape company. I recall bringing in a U-haul full of plants and > shrubs and working like a field hand to get them all planted 'round the > house so he could see them. Nice :) > When I got tired of that, I would clean. After that, I would train the > labs. Then I would go to sleep (or try to) up in the bonus room where my > mother kept dozens of dolls. Well you can imagine what that was like when > you opened your eyes at night and there they all were staring at you. Yikes! I don't think I want to know! >> > When I was posting to the colon cancer group, I swiped a sign off from > Dan [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > newsgroup, > or just post and I'll follow the news. You're really a sweetie. Just spoke to my mom a little while ago. Almost lost it while telling her that I had the extra key for her car made today (we made two sets of her house keys yesterday as she had lost her spares). She just couldn't get what I was telling her and I wanted to scream <sigh> SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 Refresh my memory, did you get a subscription to the Bark? > Refresh my memory, did you get a subscription to the Bark? I did - My daughter loves it :) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > > Refresh my memory, did you get a subscription to the Bark? > > I did - My daughter loves it :) Check Letters to the Ed, this issue entitled "Walking the Dog(s). Tis none other than your own feathered friend behind the black mask and her loyal pack. (the)duckster >> > Refresh my memory, did you get a subscription to the Bark? >> [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > other than your own feathered friend behind the black mask and her loyal > pack. LOL! Neato! I'll have to check that out ;) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > Hey y'all > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > son) my address and phone number, so I should be hearing from at least one > of them (the middle one is really into genealogy) shortly. Neato ;) Thanks for taking us along for the ride, Robyn. Sounds like a whole new world opening up for you. I can't think of anyone who deserves it more, and it's about friggin' time. Dad On Mar 15, 1:39 pm, "Robibnikoff" <witchy...@broomstick.com> wrote: > Hey y'all > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > son) my address and phone number, so I should be hearing from at least one > of them (the middle one is really into genealogy) shortly. Neato ;) >Thanks for taking us along for the ride, Robyn. Sounds like a whole >new world opening up for you. I can't think of anyone who deserves it >more, and it's about friggin' time. Wow, thanks for saying that. The whole thing is just so weird. I've emailed back and forth with one of my half-sisters a couple of times, but now I'm like, now what? I mean, what happens now with my birthdad? Will he want to get together when he's up this way (currently working in Mississippi)? I dunno. Still, I am thrilled to get this information, questions answered, etc. And I find it very amusing that at 5' 5", I'm as tall as my bdad (and way taller than all my half-sisters) ;) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 Robin I'm playing catch up on alt a. Wow, sounds like a lot has been happening in your life. Kathy J > Hey y'all > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > from at least one of them (the middle one is really into genealogy) > shortly. Neato ;) > Robin I'm playing catch up on alt a. Wow, sounds like a lot has been > happening in your life. Kathy J Yeah, it's been a little nutty, but haven't heard anything for almost a week. I have no idea what happens with my bdad now. Do I call him again? Does he call me? Do I send him a Xmas card? I have no idea. Haven't heard anything from my half-siblings recently either. Whatever, this whole thing is so strange anyway. Not to mention, my hands have been full with getting my amom into assisted living ;) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > > Robin I'm playing catch up on alt a. Wow, sounds like a lot has been > > happening in your life. Kathy J [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > is so strange anyway. Not to mention, my hands have been full with getting > my amom into assisted living ;) Well, it couldn't hurt just to send him a card to let him know that you were happy to talk with him and that you'd like to again. Might take a few prods before he responds, but unless he tells you not to I'd consider the door open. (the)duckster >> > Robin I'm playing catch up on alt a. Wow, sounds like a lot has been >> > happening in your life. Kathy J [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > before he responds, but unless he tells you not to I'd consider the door > open. Yeah, I guess. Wouldn't hurt, anyway ;) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 Seems like it's all a crap shoot. Good you are getting your mom into assisted living, that will be a relief. Kathy J >> Robin I'm playing catch up on alt a. Wow, sounds like a lot has been >> happening in your life. Kathy J [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > thing is so strange anyway. Not to mention, my hands have been full with > getting my amom into assisted living ;) > Seems like it's all a crap shoot. So it would seem. No big deal really. If their curiousity is satisfied and no one is interested in further contact, then I guess that will have to be. > Good you are getting your mom into assisted living, that will be a relief. You ain't kidding! The stress is coming out in the way of migraine headaches and muscle spasms in my back. Charming :P SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > > Seems like it's all a crap shoot. > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > You ain't kidding! The stress is coming out in the way of migraine > headaches and muscle spasms in my back. Charming :P Walk the dog!!!! I also recommend swimming. If I didn't do the above, I think I would go completely bonkers. fondly, ducks >> > Seems like it's all a crap shoot. >> [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > Walk the dog!!!! I've been doing that - definitely helps :) >I also recommend swimming. Not possible without joining a gym or swim club and the kid's getting braces. > If I didn't do the above, I think I would go completely bonkers. I do have to admit that I broke down and asked the doctor for something - He gave me Xanax. Delightful stuff. Don't worry, I haven't been abusing it and it's so nice to no longer have the back spasms. SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > I do have to admit that I broke down and asked the doctor for something - > He gave me Xanax. Delightful stuff. Don't worry, I haven't been abusing it > and it's so nice to no longer have the back spasms. Hi, I'm glad you're getting your a.mom in assited care. It's just so hard (impossible!) to do all on your own. I know what you mean about the Xanax. Watch it, though. I had tons of fun with Valium a few yeras back... took all my aches away for a while... like, ALL of them. I'm off it now, prefered keeping my aches to staring at the wall for 2 hrs with a googoo smile... :-) sigh..never manage to do things in halfsies somehow. Like the Duckster wisely said, I'm walking my dogs more now. And..if you haven't done it, Robyn, drop your Dad a line or something to tell how nice it was for you. Don't let it drop so soon. It's just so great that you've discovered a whole new (short(ish!) world that belongs to you! >> I do have to admit that I broke down and asked the doctor for something - >> He gave me Xanax. Delightful stuff. Don't worry, I haven't been abusing >> it and it's so nice to no longer have the back spasms. > Hi, I'm glad you're getting your a.mom in assited care. It's just so hard > (impossible!) to do all on your own. Been there, done that - Or almost done that anyway. Should be all taken care of by the end of this week or middle of next. I know what you mean about the Xanax. > Watch it, though. I had tons of fun with Valium a few yeras back... took > all my aches away for a while... like, ALL of them. I'm off it now, [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > wisely said, I'm walking my dogs more now. And..if you haven't done it, > Robyn, drop your Dad a line or something to tell how nice it was for you. How nice "what" was for me? Listen, I called the guy. The ball is in his court now. I also emailed one of my half-sisses over a week ago and haven't heard anything. The only one that's communicating with me right now is my bmom, so I'm not going out of my way for bdad or half-sisses. They know where I am. I'm tired of putting myself out with little return. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I know who they are and the information I received, but it doesn't seem like anyone really wants a relationship (outside of my bmom), so f.ck it. > Don't let it drop so soon. It's just so great that you've discovered a > whole new (short(ish!) world that belongs to you! Yeah, well, frankly, it seems (once again) to be a one-way street and I'm tired of putting myself out for people and not getting much, or nothing, in return. f.ck it. SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > > He gave me Xanax. Delightful stuff. Don't worry, I haven't been abusing it > > and it's so nice to no longer have the back spasms. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > my aches away for a while... like, ALL of them. I'm off it now, prefered > keeping my aches to staring at the wall for 2 hrs with a googoo smile... :-) <snip> And..if you haven't done it, > Robyn, drop your Dad a line or something to tell how nice it was for you. > Don't let it drop so soon. It's just so great that you've discovered a whole > new (short(ish!) world that belongs to you! No doubt you'll sing the same lyric to your adopted child someday, eh? Kathy On Apr 6, 2:36 pm, "Bianca" <Bia...@ns.it> wrote: > "Robibnikoff" <witchy...@broomstick.com> ha scritto nel > messaggionews:65ntudF2f8phtU1@mid.individual.net...> I do have to admit [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > keeping my aches to staring at the wall for 2 hrs with a googoo smile... > :-) <snip> And..if you haven't done it, > Robyn, drop your Dad a line or something to tell how nice it was for you. > Don't let it drop so soon. It's just so great that you've discovered a > whole > new (short(ish!) world that belongs to you! >No doubt you'll sing the same lyric to your adopted child someday, eh? <SNORT!> D'oh! ;) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 >No doubt you'll sing the same lyric to your adopted child someday, eh? naaa, I'll be pissed as hell and lock her in her room. Kidding. We're going through that now, she's curious. It's a littile bit harder because you have to go to the other end of the world and a lot more burocracy. And there are all sort of "state secrets" that freak me. We had to sign all sorts of documents (but SHE didn't of course... but it's harder that way). But it's waht she wants, so obviously I'm supporting her, wha else can I do? >>No doubt you'll sing the same lyric to your adopted child someday, eh? > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > But it's waht she wants, so obviously I'm supporting her, wha else can I > do? Just don't be like my amom and go through all this to help her find her birthparents and then be pissed off when she does. SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > Just don't be like my amom and go through all this to help her find her > birthparents and then be pissed off when she does. I'm trying hard to deal with things. You're right, it seems so easy to say you want to help but when you get down to it... it's not really being pissed off. It's just that you get really insecure. I mean, you bring her up, you KNOW she's "yours" because you were there nearly from the beginning doing all the mom things. But nothing's ever going to take away the fact that you didn't carry her inside, but someone else did. And that makes you feel damned insecure, believe me. But we have a pretty good relationship. I did try to learn something from the terrible thing I had going with my own (b)mom when I was growing up. I don't want anyone hurting her and I'm trying to be honest with her, especially about her past which is ... pretty brutal. Not easy. >> Just don't be like my amom and go through all this to help her find her >> birthparents and then be pissed off when she does. > I'm trying hard to deal with things. You're right, it seems so easy to say > you want to help but when you get down to it... it's not really being > pissed off. It's just that you get really insecure. I mean, you bring her > up, you KNOW she's "yours" Ouch - You make her sound like a possession. because you were there nearly from the beginning doing > all the mom things. But nothing's ever going to take away the fact that > you didn't carry her inside, but someone else did. And that makes you feel [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > trying to be honest with her, especially about her past which is ... > pretty brutal. Not easy. I couldn't even imagine. SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > Ouch - You make her sound like a possession. no, I'm sorry. My English is not that great. Not a possession, just a part of me, like a hand or a foot or something that I just can't do without. It feels like she "sprang" from me, sh'e just so much there and always was. Everything before was colorless. Hard to explain. I'm pretty sure she feels not too differently, i can tell by the way she talks to me, she looks for me. I can imagine the curiosity of looking for your origins, of knowing genetically and biologically who you are. But whover and whatever she will find at the end of her journey won't be "her", it wont be what she is about. I desperately need her to understand that because I don't want her getting terribly hurt. This is really what scares me. Ok, I have a question for you. What if instead of finding your fun, kind of kooky (and short-ish) family, with the story of a young mother who couldn't keep you because she was too young/poor/confused/alone you had found something dark, terrible... a murderer, a mad-man for a father (just a thought...). How would you have taken it? Were you ready for it? Would have made you re-think some things about yourself? This is what scares me, Robyn... >> Ouch - You make her sound like a possession. > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > she will find at the end of her journey won't be "her", it wont be what > she is about. Hey, you never know. I found out that I look more like my bio mom than her other kids and our personalities are extremely alike. So, in finding my bio mom, I did find "me" - Or at least someone who is like me in more ways than anyone in my adoptive family. > I desperately need her to understand that because I don't want her getting > terribly hurt. This is really what scares me.' See, my amom didn't (and generally never did) give a sh.t about my feelings. Ok, I have a question for you. > What if instead of finding your fun, kind of kooky (and short-ish) family, > with the story of a young mother who couldn't keep you because she was too > young/poor/confused/alone you had found something dark, terrible... a > murderer, a mad-man for a father (just a thought...). How would you have > taken it? Well, don't forget you're talking to the Princess of Darkness here. I probably would have thought "Cool!" ;) Having a biological father with a major drinking problem and anger management issues is just too boring. Though having an aunt that was murdered (the one whose first name is the same as my own daughter's middle name) is certainly interesting in a very creepy sort of way (which I enjoy emensely) >Were you ready for it? Huh? Did Phil kill someone and nobody told me? Would have made you re-think some things > about yourself? Well, finding out some things about my bio dad gave me a fabulous scapegoat. Not to mention that I'm also an alcoholic, so I could say that I got that from him. And I do get pissed off VERY easily. So I can blame that on poor Phil as well ;) > This is what scares me, Robyn... You can't protect your daughter forever. She has to grow up eventually. SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > Hey, you never know. I found out that I look more like my bio mom than > her other kids and our personalities are extremely alike. So, in finding > my bio mom, I did find "me" Ok, and this is the part I understand, the physical parl. Who do i look like? Who do I get my allergies from? I get that. It's good. I have a rare genetical disease, and thank God, she'll never get it. But she probably has other stuff that nobody knows about because nobody thought to look. > See, my amom didn't (and generally never did) give a sh.t about my > feelings. that's pretty rough for you. Why adopt then? Or why have a kid? Ok, don't snap my head off at that... but I don't get it. Adopring is hard work (here, I don0t know in the US but we go through major torture here judges, and psychologists and social assistants and the judgement police.. probably there too) so why adopt if you don't really give a sh.t? Or shouldn't I go there? > Well, don't forget you're talking to the Princess of Darkness here. I > probably would have thought "Cool!" ;) LOL! I think she'd start thinking all sorts of evil thoughts about herself. She's a sweet kid, a romantic. She thinks a bit like (don't tease me!) Heathcliff "my father was an emperor of China and my mother was an Indian queen" and she'll go off and claim her inheritance... and the real story is so horrific.. > Well, finding out some things about my bio dad gave me a fabulous > scapegoat. Not to mention that I'm also an alcoholic, so I could say that > I got that from him. And I do get pissed off VERY easily. So I can blame > that on poor Phil as well ;) haha! but you found out after, right? Are you genetically an alcoholic? (does that exist?? duh?) Or did it just happen that way. If a girl finds out that her mom was a prostitute or was mentally ill (very, like criminally insane) will she start worrying that she is one too? > You can't protect your daughter forever. She has to grow up eventually. Yeah, I know. I'm just trying to have her do it by degrees, not smack her face into it with a crow bar. I won't let her be alone when she finds things out, and she will. I don't to hide anything. It's the "eventually" Robyn. And I wouldn't worry about your "new" family not calling you. Not so much time has gone by, if you think about it. Sometimes I realize that we live in different time frames, I can stay weeks and months not talking to my sisters. I think about them and if they need me I'm there, but I don't feel the need to talk so often. My older sister calls my Mom every day, twice a day. I call her on Sundays. We have our lives, and maybe it wasn't such a huge deal for them, alweays having been in that family, that it was for you finding it. Give them time. I still think it's great, they sound nice (believe me, you're pretty lucky in a way... Queen of darkness, ROTFL! ) :-) >> Hey, you never know. I found out that I look more like my bio mom than >> her other kids and our personalities are extremely alike. So, in finding [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > genetical disease, and thank God, she'll never get it. But she probably > has other stuff that nobody knows about because nobody thought to look. Possibly, but you can't discount the extreme importance of medical information. If my abro had had that, he could have avoided that heart attack at age 36. >> See, my amom didn't (and generally never did) give a sh.t about my >> feelings. > > that's pretty rough for you. Eh, it was 6 years ago. I got over it in less than 24 hours. Just made a decision then and there that I would never discuss anything about my bio family with her ever again. And that's been a very easy promise to keep. I haven't been close to the woman since I was 13. Her problem, not mine. > Why adopt then? Or why have a kid? Um, because she wanted one? <puzzled expression> Hey, bioparents can suck too, you know. Ok, don't > snap my head off at that... but I don't get it. Adopring is hard work > (here, I don0t know in the US but we go through major torture here judges, > and psychologists and social assistants and the judgement police.. > probably there too) so why adopt if you don't really give a sh.t? Or > shouldn't I go there? Well, it's not so much as you shouldn't go there as you're just dead wrong. I never said that my amom didn't give a sh.t about me. She just didn't consider MY feelings as important as hers. Apparently her mother treated her the same way. >> Well, don't forget you're talking to the Princess of Darkness here. I >> probably would have thought "Cool!" ;) [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Indian queen" and she'll go off and claim her inheritance... and the real > story is so horrific.. Oh dear. I never thought anything like that. What I thought is what turned out to be the truth. Too horny kids got together without birthcontrol and I was the result. >> Well, finding out some things about my bio dad gave me a fabulous >> scapegoat. Not to mention that I'm also an alcoholic, so I could say that >> I got that from him. And I do get pissed off VERY easily. So I can >> blame that on poor Phil as well ;) > > haha! but you found out after, right? Are you genetically an alcoholic? Um, how the hell would I know? Some people think it's genetic. Maybe it is, I don't really know or care. I gave up the booze over a year and a half ago. > (does that exist?? duh?) Or did it just happen that way. If a girl finds > out that her mom was a prostitute or was mentally ill (very, like > criminally insane) will she start worrying that she is one too? I could see the mental illness being a concern - But it would be better if she DID know. At least then, she could take steps to possible prevent it from happening to her - or at least be aware of the symptoms. Keeping her in the dark about it is just plain wrong IMHO. >> You can't protect your daughter forever. She has to grow up eventually. > Yeah, I know. I'm just trying to have her do it by degrees, not smack her > face into it with a crow bar. I won't let her be alone when she finds > things out, and she will. I don't to hide anything. It's the "eventually" > Robyn. Well, I don't even know how old your daughter is anyway. > And I wouldn't worry about your "new" family not calling you. Oh, believe me, I'm not "worrying". I just don't give a sh.t. I've got more than enough on my plate and if they're not interested, then f.ck 'em and have a nice life. Just don't give me that "Oh, we looked for you for years!" bullshit. Whatever. I do communicate with my bmom and that's good enough for me. Not so much > time has gone by, if you think about it. Sometimes I realize that we live > in different time frames, I can stay weeks and months not talking to my [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > for you finding it. Give them time. I still think it's great, they sound > nice Whatever. I certainly won't be expecting to hear from them anymore. Apparently that long letter with pictures I was promised got lost in the mail as well. > (believe me, you're pretty lucky in a way... Queen of darkness, ROTFL! ) > :-) I'm extremely lucky, but it doesn't have anything to do with my bio family - with the exception of my daughter, that is :) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 Robyn, you have your own special brand of coolth. There is none like it :) > Robyn, you have your own special brand of coolth. > There is none like it :) LOL - I hope that's a compliment :) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > <kippaherr...@hotmail.com> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > LOL - I hope that's a compliment :) It is. On Apr 9, 11:00 am, "Robibnikoff" <witchy...@broomstick.com> wrote: > <kippaherr...@hotmail.com> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > >It is. Woohoo! Thanks. I needed one :) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > Possibly, but you can't discount the extreme importance of medical > information. If my abro had had that, he could have avoided that heart > attack at age 36. Yes, I agree completely. In Italy, the only way an adopted person can get access to parent info (where the parent asked for non-disclosure) is in case of disease. My sister went blind from one day to the next when she was 26 years old, and after travelling to specialists all over the world, we found out that we have this rare genetic disease that is passed on through the mother's side. (main reason I decided to adopt). So they decided to open up records just for this reason here. > Um, how the hell would I know? Some people think it's genetic. Maybe it > is, I don't really know or care. I gave up the booze over a year and a > half ago. > I could see the mental illness being a concern - But it would be better if > she DID know. At least then, she could take steps to possible prevent it > from happening to her - or at least be aware of the symptoms. Keeping her > in the dark about it is just plain wrong IMHO. Yes, I think so too. But it's not something you can just come out and say when she's a little kid, with her own problems and doubts... and huge insecurities. I need to get her self-confidence way up before she can manage the truth... > Well, I don't even know how old your daughter is anyway. 14, looks much younger. So fragile... so, so fragile. > Oh, believe me, I'm not "worrying". I just don't give a sh.t. I've got > more than enough on my plate and if they're not interested, then f.ck 'em > and have a nice life. Just don't give me that "Oh, we looked for you for > years!" bullshit. Whatever. I do communicate with my bmom and that's > good enough for me. That's probably what happens in most families anyway, Robyn. Even in my own, my sisters and I often communicate mainly through our parents. You tend to grow up, have your own thing and lose touch. It's kind of sad how it happens but your friends are really closer than brothers or sisters, most of the time, just because you pick them for having something in common with you. I have so little in common with my own sisters (we used to beat each other up to shred when we were kids! at least we stopped that!) > I'm extremely lucky, but it doesn't have anything to do with my bio > family - with the exception of my daughter, that is :) Talk about some exception! She's really what it's all about, isn't it? At least for me, and the way you talk about your daughter.. I guess you're different both from your amom and your bmom, so dna isn't everything. I'll get there..I'm starting to understand the "user manual" little by little myself.. (G' Sunday, QoD! LOL! Are you this funny in real life?? :-)) >> Possibly, but you can't discount the extreme importance of medical >> information. If my abro had had that, he could have avoided that heart [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > 14, looks much younger. So fragile... so, so fragile. Well, then I'd await on letting her know anything terrible about her bio family. Don't forget that I didn't start digging into my bio family until I was in my 30s and didn't seriously search for my bio mom until I was almost 40 (got my the first letter from her on my 40th birthday) >> Oh, believe me, I'm not "worrying". I just don't give a sh.t. I've got >> more than enough on my plate and if they're not interested, then f.ck 'em [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > That's probably what happens in most families anyway, Robyn. Perhaps. I really wouldn't know as I have no idea what happens in "most" families. Perhaps their curiousity is satisfied and they never wanted any more than that to begin with. Even in my own, > my sisters and I often communicate mainly through our parents. You tend to > grow up, have your own thing and lose touch. It's kind of sad how it [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Talk about some exception! She's really what it's all about, isn't it? She is for me, anyway. At > least for me, and the way you talk about your daughter.. I guess you're > different both from your amom and your bmom, so dna isn't everything. LOL - I'm afraid the main things I learned from my bmom is what NOT to do, say, etc. ;) I'll > get there..I'm starting to understand the "user manual" little by little > myself.. (G' Sunday, QoD! LOL! Are you this funny in real life?? :-)) Oh, I'm much worse, I can assure you ;) SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > > birthparents and then be pissed off when she does. > > -- [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > didn't carry her inside, but someone else did. And that makes you feel > damned insecure, believe me. Oh for God sake, get a grip...........if you are insecure, you'll raise an insecure child. Last thing the adoptee needs is to carry your baggage. Kathy On Apr 8, 7:05 am, "Bianca" <Bia...@ns.it> wrote: > "Robibnikoff" <witchy...@broomstick.com> ha scritto nel > messaggionews:661e3gF2iglerU1@mid.individual.net...> Just don't be like my [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > didn't carry her inside, but someone else did. And that makes you feel > damned insecure, believe me. >Oh for God sake, get a grip...........if you are insecure, you'll >raise an insecure child. Last thing the adoptee needs is to carry >your baggage. True 'dat. Looking back on things, it's become obvious that I did bear the brunt of my amom's baggage (distant mother and father, cheating husband, etc.) and I've been more than glad to toss it aside. SignatureRobyn Resident Witchypoo BAAWA Knight! #1557 > Robin I'm playing catch up on alt a. Wow, sounds like a lot has been > happening in your life. Kathy J Me too (I've been hanging out on dog & kidney groups). Lots of changes! Way cool. Kathy 1 > > Hey y'all > > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > BAAWA Knight! > > #1557 |
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2009 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.