Family Forum / Pregnancy / Breastfeeding / July 2005

I strongly feel that if parents aren't close physically (not just sex) and
maintaining that physical contact it does affect marriages.  Too often
parent's don't sleep together, it becomes habit, routine, etc... and oh!
hey! look at that! we're roomates now.  And physical needs as a couple do
not get met.

I'm speaking in general terms, but that's what I see a lot. If it works for
you, awesome :-)   It sounds like you're getting the cuddling quota in.  ;-)

~Shell

Well, she was very definitely NOT following safe co-sleeping rules. Among
other things, the 8 month old was shown as being on the outside of mommy,
and while there was a bedrail, it wasn't anywhere near big enough given that
8 month olds are pretty mobile. There was also no control on the bedding,
and there was enough of it to be a hazard. But, the reason given for the
baby needing to sleep in her own bed wasn't that they weren't co-sleeping
safely, but that it was emotionally "unhealthy" to co-sleep at all.

But I still don't see what was so wrong with the mother playing with an
obviously wide awake baby even though the schedule says it was naptime, or
with her lying down next to her son while he was going to sleep in his own
bed!  And I don't believe for a second that co-sleeping with a 6 yr old is
going to confuse him as to his role in the household, or that he wanted to
replace daddy.

There were obvious problems which needed to be addressed-but a lot of the
things which the nanny kept harping on the mother about were things which
made me wonder just what she'd say about me? I mean, my daughter sort of has
a schedule, but it's evolved based on what her internal clock seems to
want-everything has about an hour or so launch window when it usually
happens, but it's all subject to change based on baby desires and needs.

Oh, no. I am all for cosleeping, and I cosleep with my DD.

In an up-close shot, the family (father, 6-yo boy, 3-yo boy, mother, and
8-mo girl) was shown sleeping in the same bed, nearly on top of each other
like in a can of sardines. The baby was between the mother and what at first
looked like no safety barrier on their side of the bed. Later, in the
background when the mother was filmed in her bedroom, there was an
itty-bitty bed rail on that side of the bed.

For safe cosleeping, the bed should be large and roomy enough for the
parents and the baby. Preferably, a stronger rail or the crib alongside the
bed would be needed if they were to continue to cosleep. For the baby that
young, it would be safer not to have older and bigger siblings in the same
bed with her b/c they might not be careful and aware of her in their sleep.
It just bothered me to see her sleeping in what seemed like an unsafe
situation to me.

Marie
DD-17 mo