Family Forum / Parenting / Parenting / January 2006

   Ron's comment above is very much to the point.  I used to write up court
cases for a newsletter, and over the years I saw quite a few cases where the
issue was support of adult "children."  Judges in these cases commonly cited
the interest of the state in having an educated population.  However, these
judges never explained why -- if that WAS the state's interest -- there was
no law requiring that children of married parents pay support during the
college years.  If there was no need for such a law (because married parents
would do this anyway), then the law would require no enforcement against
married parents, but it would have ceased to be discriminatory.

   When I was writing up such cases, I used to wonder whether the judges
who wrote the rulings were just plain lacking in intelligence, because they
articulated an obviously deficient justification for the discrimination
between married and unmarried parents (mostly, as a practical matter,
fathers).  My conclusion was that, while some of the judges might have been
stupid, most of them were just being dishonest.  They knew full well that it
was fine to discriminate against an official scapegoat group.  However,
these judges also knew that any effort by the state legislature to tell
married parents that they had to support adult "children" would have caused
an outcry.

   The fact of the matter is that, although all kinds of groups are
constantly screaming about discrimination, prejudice and discrimination
against heterosexual males is widely practiced, particularly in the domestic
relations field, and no one says a word about it.

In the context of FAFSA and student financial aid there is no difference in
treatment between children of married or divorced parents.  If the parents
do not give the children money for college, the rules are the same for all
college students.  The federal laws regarding college funding are generally
applicable until a student reaches age 25.  Adult child attending school CS
in state laws usually ends at age 21.

The issue of CS for college students is counter-intuitive because it is a
disadvantage for children of divorced parents to receive the money.  Receipt
of CS drives up the Expected Family Contribution, forces the student to take
out larger student loans, and makes the student make up a larger CP share if
they don't give money to the student toward the EFC or take out parent
loans.

A more student friendly program would have the state butt out, let the
student declare only one parent's income, and have the other parent
voluntarily give the student money.  The overall cost of a college education
for a child of divorced parents would be lower under a plan like that.

$2,000 - $5,000 per year?  do you KNOW how much college costs?

SUNY system
http://www.suny.edu/Student/paying_tuition.cfm

If you truly want to make that money for for their education, you'd do well
to open college trust funds ASAP - and how old your kids already are will
determine how much help it's going to be - 4 years (taking that from your
original post) - pity you didn't start this whole thing sooner.

Yes.  First read the FAFSA booklet I suggested and get any questions you
have answered.  Then come up with a plan that works for you and the child's
mother.  Here is how we handled college expenses:

1.)  My ex asked me investigate all the details of student financial aid and
advise our daughter about how it all works.  We keep all the FAFSA form data
and output at my house.  My daughter completed all of the forms on my PC.

2.)  My ex took out the Parent Loans to cover the difference between the
student loans and the tuition and housing costs.

3.)  The CS I paid was used to pay all the other expenses - books,
entertainment, transportation, miscellaneous costs, and the balances on the
student's revolving account.

4.)  After CS was no longer mandated we keep the same plan, but I gave my
daughter money when she needed it, not every month.

5.)  When there were questions about the student account, the financial aid,
or anything else, I contacted the school's business office to get
clarification.

6.)  Between my daughter and me we kept her mother informed of what was
going on, why the revolving account showed what it did, and how to handle
the tax credit implications.  (This was the hardest part - trying to explain
all the financial stuff and overcoming the perception I was manipulating
her.)

7.)  When my daughter turned 18 I started taking her as a tax exemption
since I was paying more than half of her expenses and there was no further
custody of a minor child.  When she was away at school I claimed head of
household filing status because she stored her stuff at my house.
Understanding the tax implications is important too.  Download the IRS
booklet 970 Tax Benefits for Higher Education to get the details on
education tax credits.

So to comment on your post above, your friends paying $2,000-$5,000 have way
too many variables to comment on those amounts.  The costs vary greatly
between schools.  Students may live at home or on campus.  The amounts could
be cash outlays or parent loans.

What you have to guard against is paying a bunch of college expenses and
allowing your ex to take the education tax credits for money you paid.