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Family Forum / Parenting / Parenting / November 2007Child support question.....California
Background: State of California Married almost 12 years, have 5 kids (12, 10, 7, 5, 5 yrs old). Spouse hasn't worked for over 9 years due to aggreeing to be a stay-at-home mom and raise the kids + for financial reasons. Net monthly income: $3,291.48 Gross monthly income: $4,174.80 Mediation on: 11/16/07 Hearing on : 11/26/07 Questions: 1: I read that the courts will base child support on my GROSS monthly income; how much would that be given the numbers above? 2: Spouse is requesting 80/20 in child custody. I am not contesting it, but do I, or can I, change my dependants since my kids will be living with her? 3: Who can claim the kids during tax time? (I was thinking of changing my dependants from 7 (whole family) down to just 1 (me) prior to the court mediation/hearing. Do not take this as I am trying to AVOID paying child support. I am only asking this question because if the courts base me paying child support on my gross income and I am not allowed to claim my kids or keep them as my dependants, then I will be affected dramatically, since I will want to find a place close to my kids and rent/roomates in the area go for $900-1200) 4: She is requesting $500 in spousal support, can I get it lowered if she agreed? 5: She told me that she is NOT going to look for a job since her mom will be helping her financially, and that she will be going back to school to finish her degree. Will that affect how much money she gets? Thanks for you time and with any REAL responses. <jbaniaga@yahoo.com> wrote in > 2: Spouse is requesting 80/20 in child custody. I am not contesting > it, but do I, or can I, change my dependants since my kids will be > living with her? Is there nothing you can do to keep this Family together? 5 kids is a pretty serious commitment and you are going to end up dead broke if you don't figure this out! At least go for a 50/50 custody, this is not the time to play nice as you'll pay big attorney fees later to get another custody hearing and you pay more too when she has the majority of custody, plus she gets the tax breaks as well. Sounds like she's already looked into this! > <jbani...@yahoo.com> wrote in > [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > Sounds like she's already looked into this! Thanks for the reply! She has already filed and received her copies of the filing. As for trying to make it work; "no"! <jbaniaga@yahoo.com> wrote in > She has already filed and received her copies of the filing. As for > trying to make it work; "no"! If she wants to go to School, why not file for 100% custody and show the judge that you really want to be involved with your children. Understand you are not going into a legitimate court, it's just a formality before they rape your a.s! Keep in mind to that common sense and fairness does not apply, if at any point in the future that you lose your job, you will be mandated to keep paying the same rate of CS payments under "ANY" circumstances including Unemployment, Illness, injury and taking lesser paying jobs as well. This is where Fathers fall behind in their large payments and accumulate arrearages that they can't recover from, so your missed $2000 payment will be $4000 the next month. This could financially devastating if you get laid off for any period of time because the clock never stops while other bills mount too!!!!!!! Have a good read, Support is determined by both your incomes, so if she is not working, you will pay the majority! http://www.childsup.ca.gov/faq.asp (Notice it's geared to women) BTW, Don't believe in the downward motion hearings, they are a waste of time and money! Your life is about to come under total government control, If you can at all possible, keep them out of it! You and your present Wife are allowed to come up with your own personal agreement, one that actually works for thefamily. Better off to define what the kids actually need than the government mandating a large lump sum every month. At least you might have some flexibility for months where needs are light or heavy! Here's how the government calculates your monthly C$ payment: http://www.childsup.ca.gov/calculator/ How much is her mother going to donate to her income per month, she needs to sign an agreement too! You can go onto alllaw.com and put in the figures and it will give you a 'rough' amount on what you would pay. Since your wife hasn't worked for 9 years, the judge might assess her with a full time at a minimum wage income for the purposes or calculating child support. Any amount of child support or spousal support CAN be agreed on by both of you before going into court. If you both agree on a certain amount the judge will make it a court order. If you plan on living close by and you would have a place for the children to sleep when they come visit, I would request 50/50 custody. Claiming the kids at tax time is up to what your divorce papers will say. Some parents switch everyother year because you can't claim your child support that you pay out on your taxes. I would also make sure that the court knows that she admits to receiving money each month from her mom to help with her finances, I think that would help. >Background: >State of California [quoted text clipped - 40 lines] > >Thanks for you time and with any REAL responses. On Oct 12, 2:52 pm, "Lvnsurpriseaz via FamilyKB.com" <u37991@uwe> wrote: > You can go onto alllaw.com and put in the figures and it will give you a > 'rough' amount on what you would pay. Since your wife hasn't worked for 9 [quoted text clipped - 58 lines] > -- > Message posted viahttp://www.familykb.com Ok~ Here is the skinny....I've been divorced over 9 years...my BEST advice.... Do not allow her full custody under ANY circumstances....because every two years she can take you BACK to court for more child support. Child support is taxed on YOU..not her.... So....mathematically speaking....you're looking at roughly 23-25 percent of your GROSS..you can do the math, but it's roughly about $1000 per month (not nearly enough for her to support the kids!) Next...she gets to claim them on her taxes and she does NOT claim child support as taxable income...So, in essence, you lose the tax deductions of your kids (read that you now pay more taxes with less dependents!) You cannot write off the child support...so you're actually looking at taking home less money. Now...If she remarries...she still gets child support. Department of Human Resources is her weapon of choice.... So, based on those facts DO NOT, I repeat, do not give her full custody. In my case, I let her have full custody....I built a house in the subdivision across the street...kids moved in with me...she remarried and was legally still able to collect child support for a while....I'm still not totally out of the weeds...the only good out of this is that my kids live with me. Also, best piece of advice..move as CLOSE to your ex as you can! Also, get in writing a provision so she CANNOT move with a certain radius.. Worse case for you..if you grant her full custody, she could meet some guy on the internet and move her and the kids across the country...and there's NOTHING you can do about it....oh yeh, and she can still collect child support.... Your goal is to be AS CLOSE to your kids as possible....live in their school district and on the same bus route as them..that gives you access to your kids easily, keeps things cool with the kids, you stay in their lives and do NOT ever settle for just visiting them...make a home for them.... Get bunkbeds at the Goodwill store, learn to cook and clean and do laundry....your kids will appreciate it much more! You will love yourself even more for being a better father! "Single Dad" <videotimes@aol.com> wrote in > So....mathematically speaking....you're looking at roughly 23-25 > percent of your GROSS.. That would be for one child, He has 5! More like 45% of his Gross On Oct 11, 7:21 pm, jbani...@yahoo.com wrote: > Background: > State of California [quoted text clipped - 40 lines] > > Thanks for you time and with any REAL responses. You seriously need to get some help. You are looking at about $2,000 per month in Child Support for the next six years. If you get ordered to pay $500 in spousal support, you will be taking home around $800 a month. I would suggest going to 50/50 custody. Get a good lawyer. Look into who the older children want to live with. The bottom line is you need to get custody of at least 2 kids or you will not be able to make it. > I would suggest going to 50/50 custody. Get a good lawyer. Look into > who the older children want to live with. The bottom line is you need > to get custody of at least 2 kids or you will not be able to make it. The best solution is to keep the government and the lawyers out of it, you'll have no control and it's going to cost thousands in legal fees. Why line their pockets, that money is better spent directly on your family. Both of you have to suck it up and work it out, do what is best for those kids! You asked about taxes and who claims the kids! http://www.nolo.com/article.cfm/ObjectID/F5556B55-E563-42FC-AF277A1A14948708/cat ID/50577D19-965B-4301-B98AE541654F9EAB/118/246/169/ART/ On Oct 11, 6:21 pm, jbani...@yahoo.com wrote: > Background: > State of California [quoted text clipped - 40 lines] > > Thanks for you time and with any REAL responses. Keep the two oldest. Get a dam good attorney. One more thing...just because you hire a good attorney doesn't mean you just sit and relax. I learned that in order for you to get a good outcome, you must also do a lot of research on the internet. Get familiar w/the state laws and see if you can go to mediation. Good luck! >Background: >State of California [quoted text clipped - 40 lines] > >Thanks for you time and with any REAL responses. If you take advice from the majority of people on here, you will go broke paying for that "damned good lawyer". Have you tried to reconcile with your wife? "Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in > Have you tried to reconcile with your wife? Why on Earth would his wife want to reconcile, she's about to get $2500 tax free dollars plus money from her Mother too? She's going back to college and she'll be f.cking all those young college dudes too, pretty sweet deal for her! > "Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > She's going back to college and she'll be f.cking all those young college > dudes too, pretty sweet deal for her! The real casualties of people that can't work it out!! http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=eJiTV1Cxoh0 >"Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >She's going back to college and she'll be f.cking all those young college >dudes too, pretty sweet deal for her! Sometimes it's all about loss. Some people do NOT want to loose their spouce. You all want to lead this man down your own bitter roads. You are not helping him by making him bitter, you are only hurting him. You can not say for sure that she is going to be messing around with college guys. They have 5 kids together. You don't just fall out of love with a person, (except for shadow36) especially when you have been together long enough to have 5 kids. >>"Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in >> [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > person, (except for shadow36) especially when you have been together long > enough to have 5 kids. Wow! I've riled her up enough that she has a personal agenda against me! She's mad that she's a feminazi and I called her out. >>>"Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in >>> [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >Wow! I've riled her up enough that she has a personal agenda against me! >She's mad that she's a feminazi and I called her out. Please do not think you are important enough for me to have any agenda against you. I am just meking reference to the fact that you put your wife and kid out on the winter streets. That is all. "Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in > I am just meking reference to the fact that you put your wife > and kid out on the winter streets. That is all. This is Amereeka, nobody starves to death! >>"Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in >> [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > person, (except for shadow36) especially when you have been together long > enough to have 5 kids. A number of people have suggested that he attempt to reconcile. Others have urged him to live nearby and request 50/50 custody. How is that bitter, exactly? > >>"Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in > [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > - Show quoted text - We can suggest ideal concepts but what is the reality of the situation??? The divorce will probably arouse some bitterness, at the very least by at least one parent. But ideally we would hope they would be two rash adults and accept 50/50 custody, with no support to either and accept the best situation for their family...but again how amicable are they willing to be? >> >>"Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in >> [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > either and accept the best situation for their family...but again how > amicable are they willing to be? You are correct about that--but when suggestions are given, do we not want to suggest what is best, rather than what is not as good? "teachrmama" <teachrmama@iwon.com> wrote in > A number of people have suggested that he attempt to reconcile. Others > have urged him to live nearby and request 50/50 custody. How is that > bitter, exactly? I think in this case both parents are a.sholes who need to take a really good look at what they are doing! At what point did they think their relationship wouldn't work, after the 2nd child, the 3rd, the 4th, the 5th and yet they continued to produce children. When you produce a "planned" family, your life is not your own anymore. My father didn't need any laws threatening him with jail to raise his 3 kids, and he never looked for any hand outs the way these Single mothers feel they are entitled to. People raised their kids on one Blue Collar salary, so what has changed? >>>"Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in >>> [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >urged him to live nearby and request 50/50 custody. How is that bitter, >exactly? I guess only my advice to reconcile is femnazi advice. Nice... DB - Do we know each other? Cause "yes" I am a bit of an a.shole. As for her being one, I was the one who fcuked up and she's only doing what I would do considering the circumstances. Yes, I have 5 kids, Yes I'm getting a divorce, but does that mean I don't love my kids? I have always worked hard to provide for my kids and for being a blue worker, I have NEVER used any goverment handouts to assist me with raising my kids. Even with the divorce, I'm not looking at any handouts. Thanks for all the advise. As far as reconciling with her, it's not going to happen. Although, despite her and I getting a divorce, we remain friends and are actually getting along better now than the latter of our marriage. I do understand where some of the advise is about not doing this and doing that. We have talked about coming up with our own number, taxes (claiming the kids), custody, holidays, birthdays, alimony, significant others (if any), re-marriage (with another), living close to the kids, moving..... As you can see there have been alot of things discussed. She agrees with most of the stuff, but will not give me an answer on others. I don't want to push the issue and cause a fight and start from square one, so I just tell her to think about things and talk to me when she feels she has come up with something. Even though things are looking up, I have this feeling that her mom will interfere and persuade her to ask for more. Oh yeah, my court date has been rescheduled due to her lawyer(s) not serving me my papers in time. Thanks again for everyones advise. "Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in > If you take advice from the majority of people on here, you will go broke > paying for that "damned good lawyer". No don't listen to us Dead beats, here is a real life education: http://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/Content?oid=587522 >"Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >No don't listen to us Dead beats, here is a real life education: >http://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/Content?oid=587522 I thought 100% pass through of all CS in welfare cases was now the norm in the US. Apparently not all states are doing it that way? I don't get it anyway...do welfare mothers get to keep 100% of the welfare and 100% of the child support collected? I suppose the tax paying public isn't important enough to get their hard earned money paid back from women like the one in the article who has 7 kids with as many different men. >Background: >State of California [quoted text clipped - 40 lines] > >Thanks for you time and with any REAL responses. Go look at all the things these guys giving you this bad advice have to say. If you take their advice, you will end up just as bitter, broke and hating woman just as bad as them. "Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in > Go look at all the things these guys giving you this bad advice have to > say. > If you take their advice, you will end up just as bitter, broke and hating > woman just as bad as them. Did you fail the math quiz? |
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