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Family Forum / Parenting / Parenting / October 2007how does the new wife protect herself besides running away
I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money every single time we have moved or she has heard he has a new job...even if that new job was for LESS money because they were getting rid of his department (so not even by choice). Even when he didn't have a job, she asked for more and caused us problems. I paid her CS in FULL while he didn't have a job. Even then, she asked for more and extras for trips, etc...In addition, she hides her deadbeat husband from two CS obligations HE has...They had a foreclosure because the lien for CS would not allow them to sell their house...and she lied to the government with the claim her identity had been stolen so she could get a new social security number and she indeed got one and of course, a new mortgage double what the old one was. Of course, that's when she also took DH to court for more money, so that she could show the extra money as her income and qualify for yet a bigger mortgage. So, after 8 years, I feel like I can't deal with this mess anymore. I can't even stand his daughter whom lied about me to my DH and everyone that would listen just to cause more problems, when I did nothing more than to provide a better living for her while I could. I have had 20+ years of perfect credit...that was, until she took DH to court and lied about the arrears...until everything fell back on me because his wages were garnished and then his CS increased yet again...His CS was calculated on an outrageous amount, but that's irrelevant to the CSE office...and of course, the ex could care even less. I see that the daughter has an IPOD, a cell phone, they go on vacations...all at OUR expense...while I work full time, earn a good living and can barely afford my cell phone which is necessary because I can't afford a regular phone line and need to keep in touch with work. I work from home full time, take care of my son full time so that we don't have to pay day care/school...we pay his therapies out of pocket because insurance does not cover them, and the one that does cover them we cannot have because of the CSE insurance issue that the ex got DH into as well...He has to cover daughter although she never uses the insurance as she has her own with her new hubby and two other daughters...but that's an extra 160USD a month WE have to pay in insurance and leaves our son with crappy insurance. Ever since she took us back to court, I took on ALL responsiblity in the house, needless to say, we weren't planning on not getting a full paycheck for over 4months or less than 1000USD a month from my husband's check...so our credit card bills skyrocketed...then because they ruined his credit, the credit cards raised the interest rates as they do when they review your credit and your credit has lowered...so again, it got worse... We are now at the point that we can't make it not even paycheck to paycheck. We can't sell our house because the market is so bad, that we wouldn't even get what we paid for the house and our credit is so bad, we couldn't even find another place to live...plus of course, the rents are super high because everyone is scrambling so we'd pay almost as much as we do mortgage... We can't move back to the US because the standard of living is lower where we could move to (with family until our credit is better) and the CSE office won't lower the CS for that either... What are my options? This has just created more hatred towards the ex and the daughter...they both make me sick...and yes, the daughter is just as big a lier and greedy as the mother... My son is only 6 and before he was born, I had over 80K in my 401K, over 10K in stocks and it no debt...it has all disappeared and now we only have debt...not a cent in savings...except the 401K from which I have loaned over 40K in the last couple of years to make ends meet... I don't know if there is anything I can do...Will a judge even care? I am worried sick that she will just have it reviewed again in another year or so and I'll be in an even worse position... I feel that my only option for my son's sake is to leave my husband and ask him for CS to ensure that they can at least have some type of relationship, as otherwise, my husband won't even be able to afford to see him...(I would not take the CS, I'd give it back to him to spend on our son or himself as long as he doesn't spend it on his ex or daughter)... My son with autism cannot handle the stress we are constantly living in because of this woman...I can't either... > I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most > greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 77 lines] > My son with autism cannot handle the stress we are constantly living > in because of this woman...I can't either... What state did your DH go to court for his daughter? It doesn't matter what state/country you live in unless your DH applied for a change of venue. > > I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most > > greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 84 lines] > > - Show quoted text - Texas...he called them and told them about our kiddo, he told them about his salary being less and they said they couldn't care less, but that if he filed, to know that they could just as well impute more income on him stating that he should be doing better, etc...if he didn't show up for court or he'd have to make sure he showed up in person (which means pay for airfare, etc...) and possibly still get it raised instead...if the mother stated that she actually now has also a change in circumstances and needs more money for her daughter... > > > I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most > > > greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 95 lines] > > - Show quoted text - I know that in the state of Colorado there is a "Potential Income" clause, which means that if someone made so much a year for 3 years (I could be off on the amount of time) their potential income for the next 3 years would be the same as when all the proceedings began. However, if the income is lowered and stays lowered for that certain amount of time then an adjustment on behalf of the obligor could be made. Have you checked Texas law to see if there's any wording to that effect? Also, does his ex work? If so is she claiming all of her income? If she's not you could go to the courts and get an order for her to submit all of her w2's bank statements 401K statements etc. > > > > I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most > > > > greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 110 lines] > > - Show quoted text - Oh, and if you divorce and leave him wouldn't that just be letting her win? I know financially it's hard, but money is the most replaceable thing on the planet, a marriage, not so much... > > > > I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most > > > > greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 110 lines] > > - Show quoted text - Texas doesn't care about her income...they also don't care about his issues... He had made between 27-30K while they were married and when he met me... The first four years he made between 27-35K...then the opportunity came to move for a higher income and he made 85K in his new job, however, although it seems like alot, the comparable housing where we moved was 2500K a month vs. 1500K a month...In addition, electricity with ONLY one AC running at night in ONE room to sleep is about 350K a month...if we have our kiddo in his room, it is about 500K a month...the rest of the day, we have to turn it off and sweat like pigs while everyone else has their AC on during the day with central air because we cannot afford more than the 350 a month...In addition, our kiddo's speech therapy alone runs us 400USD a month, NOT covered by insurance...that does NOT include any of his medications, special diets, etc...The tax rate where we live is 38% for that 85K income, even with our home deduction...We don't even own a microwave or oven because we can't afford to buy one or pay extra electricity...I normally DON'T eat breakfast or lunch to save money, which leaves me eating only dinner... My husband is reimbursed for SOME work expenses, however, not ALL... He MUST wear a suit to work which costs him about 160USD in dry cleaning alone...and we ONLY send his suits...NOT reimbursed by his work...His parking is 20USD a day, NOT reimbursed by work...The max deduction for work related expenses for a couple is 1500K per year on taxes, but I work from home and basically use that up... The state of Texas ONLY looked at his 85K income, although he took last 6 months paystubs SHOWING that the 85K was a one time deal and not a normal deal...the income for the year that CS was increased was ONLY 52K...but of course, with ALL the extra expenses it's nowhere near 52K...it's much closer to the 35K he made in the US...the ONLY reason we moved and had to start from scratch was because his job was being off-shored a second time and we could not afford to have him lose his job...and that was emminent...so they offered him this job...He has NO degree, which is not his child's or ex's fault, however, that also means that he cannot just find comparable jobs in the US for 85K or even 52K...he did so only because he's been at one company for 6 years and has proven himself...but again, that doesn't matter when you are looking for a job outside of your company...they want a degree...Again, yes, that's not on them, but then they also shouldn't be living off his "high" salary that they didn't not ever help him attain...I stayed with him through his low paying job and took the brunt of the bills to help him be in one company and move up... but instead, they profit from that instead of my son...and of course, all the money I spent on the ex/daughter while he was making peanuts, was never replenished in my accounts...it has just gotten worse... Meanwhile, his daughter is 13, in 6th GRADE! and has a cell phone, an IPOD, a new house, vacations every year...not to mention a myspace page with her picture and her new boyfriend telling her to "take her shirt off so that he can see her you know what..."...all approved by the mother...So our CS situation just gets worse as we ADD years instead of subtracting years... If she ends up pregnant or continues to fail, we'll be paying forever... > > > > > I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most > > > > > greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 192 lines] > > - Show quoted text - You know, it's not about the marriage...it's about my son needing therapies and us not being able to afford them because of her...but if we weren't together, I could afford them on my own...but I can't stay together and continue to support my husband so that all his money goes to the ex... I stayed with him while we didn't have a child because I thought the same... but it's MY son that suffers by me staying...yes, I am torn between him suffering because his daddy is not there every day and him suffering because he can't have the therapies he needs to be able to speak and be independent in life...now how do I possibly figure which one overrides the other? > > > > > > I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most > > > > > > greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 210 lines] > independent > in life...now how do I possibly figure which one overrides the other? That's a tough one, does your husband have a lawyer? Honestly if you feel you/your husband have done everything you possibly can and you know that you can better support your child on your own I guess it's a toss up. "whatamess" <mudanzapr@yahoo.com> wrote in > > > > > I don't know if there is anything I can do...Will a judge even > > > > > care? You can legally divorce, claim CS and still live together! The judge cannot ignore another CS order will have to take into consideration the second CS order which will reduce the share of his Ex's CS order. Good luck! > "whatamess" <mudanzapr@yahoo.com> wrote in > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > The judge cannot ignore another CS order will have to take into > consideration the second CS order order. == Yes, he can, and no he won't. Depends on the state statute. > On Oct 24, 4:15 pm, Justthe6ofus <Kip.F...@gmail.com> wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 251 lines] > > - Show quoted text - You know, it's not about the marriage...it's about my son needing therapies and us not being able to afford them because of her...but if we weren't together, I could afford them on my own...but I can't stay together and continue to support my husband so that all his money goes to the ex... I stayed with him while we didn't have a child because I thought the same... but it's MY son that suffers by me staying...yes, I am torn between him suffering because his daddy is not there every day and him suffering because he can't have the therapies he needs to be able to speak and be independent in life...now how do I possibly figure which one overrides the other? Doesn't the school system offer speech therapy? .......................................................... > You know, it's not about the marriage...it's about my son needing > therapies ................................................. > Doesn't the school system offer speech therapy? == My son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. There is an occupational therapist at his school but she mainly deals with hand/eye coordination issues, not the tactile and auditory integration issues that he struggles with. We will have to take him to a therapy center 40 miles away. Fortunately, our insurance covers it. > .......................................................... >> [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > therapy center 40 miles away. > Fortunately, our insurance covers it. Did the school district tell you that they were unable to provide the proper therapies? Does he have an IEP? (You have my email addy) >> .......................................................... >>> [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > Did the school district tell you that they were unable to provide the > proper therapies? === No. I'm just not sure the district therapist will be as effective as the center that specializes in Autism therapy and has better resources for his specific needs. === >Does he have an IEP? === He does, although his grades are A/B and he's mainstreamed for all except math. He's doing wonderfully aside from a few little "glitches." The school/teachers have been very helpful since everyone is now aware of *why* some things are happening. Wish we'd known it years ago, though when we thought he just wasn't trying or was just refusing to cooperate. Poor boy. There are all kinds of little things we are doing now to validate and help him and that has given him a real morale boost. === >(You have my email addy) == Yes, I will email you soon. I couldn't find your address but I have now. The guidance counselor (who initially suspected Aspergers) is away until next week and we just got the written assessment from the psychologist which we needed for the school to put another plan into effect that considers the new information. Since he's doing so well, I think we might have the district work with him until summer and then take him to the farther away center so he won't have to miss so many classes. == > > .......................................................... > [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > - Show quoted text - The school district is even being investigated by the federal government for non-compliance even with REGULAR kids...special needs are even worse...Kids are on therapy waiting lists for over a year, and even then, as yesterday, many did not receive them or stopped because the school districts are NOT paying the therapist and have not for over 6months... So we have no choice...Or get a lawyer... >> > .......................................................... >> [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > over 6months... > So we have no choice...Or get a lawyer... That is certainly a lawsuit waiting to happen!! They can probably be held responsible for any moneys you have to pay because they are not providing what is required by law. Certainly worth looking into. >> > > > I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >> > > > greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 88 lines] >If she ends up pregnant or continues to fail, we'll be paying >forever... The first thing you need to do is make sure your husband keeps a job. Stop paying for his debts. The second thing you need to do is stop comparing what you have and what your husbands daughter has. The third thing you need to do is worry about you and yours. You can't be responsible for your husbands kid with his ex. That's something he did without you to begin with, and you should not be giving him a free ride. The fourth thing you need to do is stop blaming thw ex and his daughter. Did you know what you were getting into before you got married? If not, then you can only blame your husband. If you did know, then you only have yourself to blame. > The third thing you need to do is worry about you and yours. You can't be > responsible for your husbands kid with his ex. That's something he did > without you to begin with, and you should not be giving him a free ride. Me thinks the Troll has changed her name! Another one for the Kill File list. LOL > >> > > > I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most > >> > > > greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 105 lines] > > - Show quoted text - Arabella, remember that the idiot ex-wives aren't so evil while they think they still can control the ex...It's only when someone else walks in that they decide to make your life miserable...So, my husband is NOT to blame for the bitch starting trouble...and I am NOT to blame because of course, what I know and hear is the same BS story about the horrible fathers and how poor the mothers are when left...Needless to say, I believed the BS that many single mothers out there tell the media... I compare what they have ONLY because they TOOK IT FROM ME! They TOOK IT FROM ME AND MY SON and the courts allow it! They didn't have a pot to piss on before I came along...I on the other hand had good credit and savings...it was the COURTS and THE EX and the daughter who complained constantly who took it away from ME... and my son... So yes, it makes me sick to my stomach... "whatamess" <mudanzapr@yahoo.com> wrote in > I compare what they have ONLY because they TOOK IT FROM ME! > They TOOK IT FROM ME AND MY SON and the courts allow it! Take their leverage away, we need to cap the awards to $200 per child! $400 is more than enough to feed and cloth a child! >> > > I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >> > > greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 108 lines] >she's not you could go to the courts and get an order for her to >submit all of her w2's bank statements 401K statements etc. In Wisconsin that would never fly. I was (still am sort of) in the same boat as whatamess. My husband had the greediest, nastiest ex-wife imaginable. The court tried to get me (the 2nd wife) to provide MY W2's, bank statements, etc. to the court but during a recess he had a change of heart. I wasn't in court (wasn't in the state) and he threatened a bench warrant on me but he dropped that idea, too. To this day I don't know why. Now when we tried to get the ex-wife to produce her tax returns, W2's, bank statements, etc. we got zilch. The court wouldn't even order her to produce them. Bottom line is they were looking for $$$ (even from me) to give to her, not for her to have to take a decrease in CS. Reason being, if she got less $$$ than so did the state. I'd be surprised if it worked differently in other states. >"whatamess" wrote (Intentionally top-posted) Sigh....We went through the exact same problem, so you aren't alone. My excellent credit went down the tubes when my husband's CS was doubled after we had two small children. We had to pay 1200. a month which gave the ex a yearly *net* income of 48k and ours went down to 28k. We had just built our house- a modest 1300 sq ft., nothing fancy, but it pissed her off cuz she can't manage money well enough to ever get away from renting. Over the next several years, our house went into foreclosure twice but we managed to hang on. To top it off, I was disabled in a near-fatal incident shortly after the CS was doubled. We lived on my charge cards and then later were able to tap my husband's retirement fund. Fortunately, my steps were middle school age by then so we didn't have to deal with it forever. *The time goes by very quickly.* I know it doesn't feel that way right now. I also felt like getting a divorce just so we'd have more money with him paying me CS but FL doesn't work that way. I read a case of a couple who did that and the court wouldn't lower his support. We might have pulled it off since we were in a different state but it would have been impossible for me to do that to my little ones. I refused to sacrifice their childhood for her. I even had similar issues with my stepdaughter. She would call collect (several times a week) and demand more money or write letters demanding more money and saying they had more right to DH's income than our kids and I did. Her mother put her up to all of it. She had her car repoed and was evicted from her apt.--always telling the kids it was our fault. When my stepson came to live with us, she paid us nothing and took us to court to try to get us to pay her support for him while he lived with us. Fortunately, the judge told her to pound sand on that one. Fast forward--the older kids are all grown now (we have 6 collectively). Our credit is recovered and my stepkids are doing wonderfully (and my stepdaughter is among the sweetest people I know). There came a point that the steps figured out how much their mother was using them and how much money we were handing her. After a few years of strain, all has settled down. So....she is still renting and we still have our house. My husband's career has been good to him and our little ones (now 12 and 14) have a very comfortable life and a great childhood. We even take vacations now and we are building onto our house. So, PLEASE hang in there for your son. My husband and I made a pact when we got married to not do anything to screw up our kids' childhood, and we have lived by that quite well for the 15 years since. He is a wonderful father and husband and I rarely have to whack him ;-) As for your legal situation...have you inquired as to whether TX allows a variance from guidelines CS if there is a subsequent child with special needs? While FL does not allow a reduction for subsequent children, they do permit a variance if a subsequent child has uncommon financial needs. Please feel free to email me by changing com to net if you need a sounding board. I'll do what I can to help. BTW, I also have a son with high-functioning autism/Asperger's. See, we are all really in this together :-) ========================= >I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most > greedy woman I have ever met... ................snipped for length............. >I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 77 lines] >My son with autism cannot handle the stress we are constantly living >in because of this woman...I can't either... He should leave you if you HATE his daughter. Since you wouldn't have a problem divorcing him, and taking him for child support why don't you do it? Then you can be like the ex wife. You are no different than her except for the fact that she doesn't hate the daughter! >I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 77 lines] >My son with autism cannot handle the stress we are constantly living >in because of this woman...I can't either... ...(I would not take the CS, I'd give it back to him to spend on our son or himself as long as he doesn't spend it on his ex or daughter No wonder the wife is uncarring of your situation. You don't care about her kid, and don't even want her father to spend any money on her. Greeeeat.... >>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 86 lines] > kid, and don't even want her father to spend any money on her. > Greeeeat.... It appalls me that you can be so cruel. Be thankful that you are not in a situation where the money that you planned on is no longer available because an arbitrary system took it from you, That is one of the problems with the system. They claim to be "for the children," but they are only "for" certain children. All other children are considered to be irrelevant. Why don't you make me a list of all the children YOU consider to be irrelevant and not worth support, Illiana. >>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >don't you make me a list of all the children YOU consider to be irrelevant >and not worth support, Illiana. I didn't say that I considered children to be irrelevant, that is clearly your stand point, not mine. You think I am cruel? Wait till you see my comment to her whe she spoke bad about my kid. I am sure if her husbands ex knew the the bitch hated the daughter they have together, the daughter won't be going to see the dad anymore. Whose fault would that be? It would be whatamess fault, because I wouldn't send my kid anywhere near that bitch talking about she hates the kid, and can't stand her. A lot of times the new lover causes problems. And, No I don't feel bad for her. She needs to find better employment, be a strong woman and do it by herself since she made the choice to have the kid. That's what you all keep preaching to me, so take your own advice and stop blaming other people, like the ex! > >>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most > >>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > -- > Message posted via FamilyKB.comhttp://www.familykb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx/parenting/200710/1 Ok Illiana 1. She is not the "new lover" she is his Wife. 2. She is a very strong woman, let's not forget that she's the one who paid when her husband was out of work because she took her duties as his Wife seriously. 3. Wasn't it you who in another post was complaining about men who made the choice to have sex therefore resulting in pregnancy and producing a child? So now you're changing your stance on the subject by stating that is was her choice only to have a child? You're very confusing... Schizo much? 4. I really hope no one has allowed you to procreate. >> >>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >> >>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] >confusing... Schizo much? >4. I really hope no one has allowed you to procreate. 1. She is the new wife-her husband has an obligation to his daughter from the first wife-the new bitch can't stand the daughter (her words) 2. All these bitches are constantly it's not the mans responsibility to pay child support-she should apply that rule to herself. Let her husband take care of his daughter (if he can't afford her kids too) and let her take care of her kid. If they want one to go with out support from the fathers she should also go with out it. 3. I want to see it. Where is it, because I do not recall just saying something like that with out it being defensive towards the women bashers. I would really need to see what that was in response to because you all have a lot of f.cked opinions, and are paranoid. 4. You should have had your tubes ties after the 5th of you, fat whore. People do not allow others to procreate moron. I assure you if they did there'd only be two of you instead of six (that also goes for the amount of fat rolls on your back), Fatty. >> >>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >> >>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] >confusing... Schizo much? >4. I really hope no one has allowed you to procreate. 1. She is the new wife-her husband has an obligation to his daughter from the first wife-the new bitch can't stand the daughter (her words) 2. All these bitches are constantly it's not the mans responsibility to pay child support-she should apply that rule to herself. Let her husband take care of his daughter (if he can't afford her kids too) and let her take care of her kid. If they want one to go with out support from the fathers she should also go with out it. 3. I want to see it. Where is it, because I do not recall just saying something like that with out it being defensive towards the women bashers. I would really need to see what that was in response to because you all have a lot of f.cked opinions, and are paranoid. 4. You should have had your tubes ties after the 5th of you, fat whore. People do not allow others to procreate moron. I assure you if they did there'd only be two of you instead of six (that also goes for the amount of fat rolls on your back), Fatty. > >> >>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most > >> >>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > - Show quoted text - Ok, so you're pissed off that this woman doesn't like her step child, yet you don't even know my children and you're insulting them by saying that I should have had my tubes tied? FYI justthe6of us is referring to myself and my husband, his two children, and my two children therefore I haven't come close to a 5th pregnancy... And yes, you do "allow" someone to get pregnant, can't really do that on your own... You never really answered my 4th question, do you have children? if so are you divorced? >> >> >>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >> >> >>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] >You never really answered my 4th question, do you have children? if so >are you divorced? You made a statement for number four, you did not ask a question. Your statement of me and people not allowing me to procreate is what led to me insulting you. You should not have insulted my kid by saying I shouldn't be able to procreate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. > You should not have insulted my kid by saying I shouldn't be able to > procreate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. Oh don't for one minute think I'm actually insulted, the only people who can actually insult me would be my family, it's really not an insult considering the source. Funny thing - you actually are insulted by someone you don't even know.... sad sad. > > You should not have insulted my kid by saying I shouldn't be able to > > procreate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Funny thing - you actually are insulted by someone you don't even > know.... sad sad. Ah yes, actually, I'm not insulted by women like her either... You see, I have a brain...you see, I support myself and don't expect anyone else to do that for me...You see, I didn't give birth until I could afford my child... So, no, I'm not insulted by her anymore than the idiot ex who is just a loser and way beneath me as far as I'm concerned... I am ONLY insulted by people I respect...of which of course, neither Illeana nor the ex are... >> > You should not have insulted my kid by saying I shouldn't be able to >> > procreate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >I am ONLY insulted by people I respect...of which of course, >neither Illeana nor the ex are... Like you know anything about respect. You can't afford your kid, so you certainly can't afford to support your husband. I see why God gave you what he did. >>> > You should not have insulted my kid by saying I shouldn't be able to >>> > procreate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > I see why God gave you what he did. I hope you realize that this is going to come back and bite you in the butt big time, Illiana. You keep bringing up God. Do you think that He is going to sit idly by while you so disparage special needs children? What a sick, twisted , small thing to do. >>>> > You should not have insulted my kid by saying I shouldn't be able to >>>> > procreate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >to sit idly by while you so disparage special needs children? What a sick, >twisted , small thing to do. OOOH-look who's judging. >>>>> > You should not have insulted my kid by saying I shouldn't be able to >>>>> > procreate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >>twisted , small thing to do. > OOOH-look who's judging. According to you, it's God. "teachrmama" <teachrmama@iwon.com> wrote in >> Like you know anything about respect. You can't afford your kid, so you >> certainly can't afford to support your husband. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > is going to sit idly by while you so disparage special needs children? > What a sick, twisted , small thing to do. God has already taken care of her brain dead a.s! LOL Who else would have saddled her with a loser that she chose to marry and then be tied to him in the same house she cannot afford to sell. Sweet! :-) >"teachrmama" <teachrmama@iwon.com> wrote in > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >then be tied to him in the same house she cannot afford to sell. Sweet! >:-) God has taken care of you too. How many more years are you gonna have to pay that ex of yours? I hope she takes you back to court and gets some more. That's funny to me. Who knows, maybe you'll be so broke you'll have to beg the one you put out for a place to stay. Besides, I'm not the one complaining about money-lol Talk about brain dead, I clearly stated that the house was left to me, and it is mine. Making up more stuff to try to down me only makes you look more desperate than you already are. I know, instead of spending all this time online, get another job, and maybe you'll have less time to complain about how broke you are. HA ============================================ NOT POSTED VIA FAMILYKB. THEY ARE STEALING CONTENT FROM USENET ============================================ > "teachrmama" wrote in > [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > Who else would have saddled her with a loser that she chose to marry and > then be tied to him in the same house she cannot afford to sell. Sweet! == Hehe, I guess she pissed God off big time. :-) . No surprise there. >> You should not have insulted my kid by saying I shouldn't be able to >> procreate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >Funny thing - you actually are insulted by someone you don't even >know.... sad sad. So don't cry about it, I don't. I have a normal kid, so God blessed me. >>> You should not have insulted my kid by saying I shouldn't be able to >>> procreate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >> know.... sad sad. > So don't cry about it, I don't. I have a normal kid, so God blessed me. My god, you are an evil c.nt.  SignatureSarah Gray >>>> You should not have insulted my kid by saying I shouldn't be able to >>>> procreate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >My god, you are an evil c.nt. I am not your *God*, but you'd like it if I were. I'd rather be an evil c.nt than a crack addict worried over $75.00 a month. "Sarah Gray" <anisaerah@duhyahoo.com> wrote in >> So don't cry about it, I don't. I have a normal kid, so God blessed me. > My god, you are an evil c.nt. She's not smart enough to be Evil, just look at her life! LOL Signature============================================ NOT POSTED VIA FAMILYKB. THEY ARE STEALING CONTENT FROM USENET ============================================ > > "Sarah Gray" wrote in [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > She's not smart enough to be Evil, just look at her life! LOL == Not only that--Can you imagine what her concept of "normal" is? >> "Sarah Gray" wrote in >[quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >> >> She's not smart enough to be Evil, just look at her life! LOL >== >Not only that--Can you imagine what her concept of "normal" is? Let me rephrase it whore. I was blessed with a kid who is not DEE-DEE-DEE:) Better? I *was* trying to be nice. >>> "Sarah Gray" wrote in >>[quoted text clipped - 4 lines] [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >Let me rephrase it whore. I was blessed with a kid who is not DEE-DEE-DEE:) >Better? I *was* trying to be nice. Why so much evilness? It's not nice to make fun of kids! Signature============================================ NOT POSTED VIA FAMILYKB. THEY ARE STEALING CONTENT FROM USENET ============================================ > Illiana via FamilyKB.com wrote: >>>> You should not have insulted my kid by saying I shouldn't be able to [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > My god, you are an evil c.nt. === OMG!! Sarah--I can't believe you said that ;-). > >> You should not have insulted my kid by saying I shouldn't be able to > >> procreate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > -- > Message posted via FamilyKB.comhttp://www.familykb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx/parenting/200710/1 No, God didn't give you a normal kid, he gave you what you could handle, which is obviously nothing...I on the other hand I'm blessed with a child who tells the truth and doesn't lie, because he doesn't know how to, like the ex's kid and your kid...A child who thinks for himself instead of following the crowd, like your kid and the ex's kid... Unfortunately, he gives stupid women "normal" kids because only people with enough brains can handle anything more than that... "whatamess" <mudanzapr@yahoo.com> wrote in > Unfortunately, he gives stupid women "normal" kids because only > people with enough brains can handle anything more than that... He even gave her a house because she didn't have anywhere else to live Anything beyond playing with Cars, trucks and planes is too far beyond her capacity to comprehend. Yup, I don't doubt she has plenty of Veheecles on grand daddy's property! LOL > >> >>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most > >> >>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > - Show quoted text - 1. Yes, this "bitch" can't stand her because she has lied to her dad, to her mother and everyone in between about me. That's why. Even though when she told us that her stepdad and mom beat her, it was ME who stood up for her...It was this BITCH who actually paid for EVERYTHING and gave her birthday parties at MY house, while her mother spent her CS money on doing her nails, it was this "bitch" who supported her butt when her dad could not afford to... EVEN THOUGH her mother had two other children, was married and was living with her in-laws rent free! 2. I don't give a rat's a.s if he sends her support, but by that it does NOT mean that I not only have to support MY child and myself, but also HIM because his ex is a greedy bitch...Mind you, I make more money than that idiot lazy woman who has had 3 kids although she couldn't afford the 1st one...That SAME bitch that complains about me, but who does NOT allow HER NEW husband to pay CS to his kids, does NOT allow him to even see them... I couldn't care less if my husband and I divorced and he didn't pay me money that he used on HIMSELF, even if he bought himself a freaking mansion...but I'll be damned if after 8+ years of supporting the ex and daughter, if I'm going to support my son on my own while he sends his entire check to those idiots... "whatamess" <mudanzapr@yahoo.com> wrote in > 2. I don't give a rat's a.s if he sends her support, but by that > it does NOT mean that I not only have to support MY child and myself, > but also HIM because his ex is a greedy bitch... That's the whole root cause of the conflict, the system promises the Ex a nice big lump sum of money each month and the greed sets in. Need to just setup a 50/50 custody policy with no money exchanging between the parties involved. We can't afford this system any more, too many children are getting hurt by it. >> >> >>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >> >> >>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] >years of supporting the ex and daughter, if I'm going to support >my son on my own while he sends his entire check to those idiots... What lie did the girl tell on you? Looking at the last statement you made, you just hate the ex and the kid. OOOOH spitefull. That's your choice to support your husband. Isn't he grown? If he couldn't support the first kid, like his ex whom you are quick to put down, why did he have more kid's? >>> >> >>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the >>> >> >>>most [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] > he > have more kid's? But, Illiana, you are the one who said that once a woman has been supported by a man at a certain levelm he should be required to keep her supported at the level until another man takes over the task. Don't you believe that, if the woman is doing the supporting, it should be true forthe man, too? (Maybe that's why God is letting your ex stay in your house.) >>>> >> >>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the >>>> >> >>>most [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] >the woman is doing the supporting, it should be true forthe man, too? >(Maybe that's why God is letting your ex stay in your house.) But I don't hate my ex, so it isn't really a punishment; it is just a dating obstacle. It is not a life long commitment, and I am sure he will eventually want a girlfriend, or at least someone to have sex with once he comes to the realization that I don’t and won’t have sex with him ever again. Once that happens, he will want to move out. So how has God punished me? I think it’s funny that the people on here try to down me, but want to get uppity when I down them. Save the pity party tears for some one who cares, or at least hasn’t been called out their name, race, and told not to procreate. It is obvious that God was telling them not to procreate. This is fun for me. >>>>> >> >>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is >>>>> >> >>>the [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > that > happens, he will want to move out. So how has God punished me? He can always bring his new girlfriend to HIS house and have sex with her in HIS house. Why would he have to move out of HIS house to do that? > I think it's funny that the people on here try to down me, but want to get > uppity when I down them. Save the pity party tears for some one who cares, > or > at least hasn't been called out their name, race, and told not to > procreate. > It is obvious that God was telling them not to procreate. Really? Was He? So you don't believe the Bible? >>>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >>>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > like > the ex! The money was planned out--there was plenty for the new child as well as the older child. AFTER the new child was born, the ex demanded more--and then new child was not even considered. Why was the new child--who was already there, needing support--not considered when the support order was raised, Illiana? Why was the new child not important? >>>>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >>>>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] >there, needing support--not considered when the support order was raised, >Illiana? Why was the new child not important? I had a daughter from my 1st marriage who was older than all of my husband's kids from his first marriage and I was my daughter's sole support (her father paid when he could). After my current husband and I married his ex went to court for another CS increase (to get her greedy mitts on my income). The court would not consider my daughter at all when looking at my income as being available to "help" to pay the CS for the other kids although as I said, my daughter was alive years *before* the other kids were born. It isn't a matter of first come, first serve with the courts. It's a matter of only ONE set of kids mattering to the court and that is the ones who can put more money in the CSA and state's coffers. So far as the family courts are concerned, any kids who cannot bring in more money for the system might just as well starve. "Jill" <asker_w@yahoo.com> wrote in > It isn't a matter of first come, first serve with the courts. It's a > matter of only ONE set of kids mattering to the court and that is the > ones who can put more money in the CSA and state's coffers. So far as > the family courts are concerned, any kids who cannot bring in more > money for the system might just as well starve. If we recognize that the state only cares about money, then we can use that to our advantage! What every NCP needs to do is stop paying the full extortionate amount of CS and just send enough to support their kids. The government can't begin to prosecute even a small margin of parents as the cost would be staggering. Why do you think the Feds can't do anything with the 12 Million illegal immigrants that are here now? You would cripple the system with 50 million parents on a revolt! DO the math, the prison system is overwhelmed with a population of just 2.5 million, The Feds are broke and can't sustain their funding. Cut the system off at the source and they will have to listen to NCP's! >"Jill" <asker_w@yahoo.com> wrote in > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >and just send enough to support their kids. The government can't begin to >prosecute even a small margin of parents as the cost would be staggering. Most men will not do that. It is against their good nature to break the law...even bad law. Many (most?) men believe they must fight this problem on their own, one man at a time. We know that doesn't work but still men do not join together in great numbers politically to fight this system the way women did in the past and still do. Also, men as a group do not like to "attack" women and children even politically. Thus you see so many men who have not gone through the system defend women's rights to extort CS money from other men--not just with words but with votes and political power. It is a huge problem and I don't know what the answer to it is. >Why do you think the Feds can't do anything with the 12 Million illegal >immigrants that are here now? American men are not illegal immigrants. As I said above it goes against the good nature of decent American men to deliberately break any law. Obviously this is not a problem with illegal immigrants. >You would cripple the system with 50 million parents on a revolt! > >DO the math, the prison system is overwhelmed with a population of just 2.5 >million, The Feds are broke and can't sustain their funding. Cut the system >off at the source and they will have to listen to NCP's! Your plan is good on paper but would never work in reality. >>>>>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >>>>>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] >the family courts are concerned, any kids who cannot bring in more >money for the system might just as well starve. Q: Both my son's mother and I have remarried. When figuring child support, do they take total gross from the house hold or just her and my monthly gross? Asked by Damien A: In general, the income from the parents only is used in calculating child support. This is because the new spouse(s) does not have a legal support obligation for the child. However; some states will indirectly consider the new spouse's income to a certain extent, but only to the extent it reduces the living expenses of the parent. Many states do not do this, or do it only under special circumstances. http://www.fathersworld.com/legal/lgqa430.html Proof that it is the income of the parent ,not the new spouse, that is taken into consideration. Proof that the government is not out to get you, and that whatamess is a lie when she claims that her income determined the amount of child support. Even if your whatamessass leaves her husband, it is him, not her who is responsible for the child support. You hate a child for something that you put on yourself. You were not obligated to pay the child support, but you did because you let your husband get away with not working. You only have yourself to blame, not your step daughter, or the ex wife. "Illiana via FamilyKB.com" <u38194@uwe> wrote in > However; some states will indirectly consider the > new spouse's income to a certain extent, but only to the extent it reduces [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > taken > into consideration. HAve you ever seen the Movie CLueless? You just proved some states will take a new spouse's income into concideration, usually when the NCP doesn't make enough to pay for the extortionate amount of C$ they want him to pay. Then you state the exact opposite and cal it proof?????? LOL >>>>>>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the >>>>>>>most [quoted text clipped - 51 lines] > get away with not working. You only have yourself to blame, not your step > daughter, or the ex wife. And?........ >>>>>>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >>>>>>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > Proof that it is the income of the parent ,not the new spouse, that is taken > into consideration. Proving once again you are not very bright. > Proof that the government is not out to get you, and that whatamess is a lie > when she claims that her income determined the amount of child support. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > get away with not working. You only have yourself to blame, not your step > daughter, or the ex wife. >>>>>>I am so worn out. I hate the ex-wife with a passion. She is the most >>>>>>greedy woman I have ever met...She has asked my DH for more money [quoted text clipped - 64 lines] > the family courts are concerned, any kids who cannot bring in more > money for the system might just as well starve. It's simply a matter of being the child on the CS order. Other children are irrelevant. Very, very sad. "teachrmama" <teachrmama@iwon.com> wrote in > It appalls me that you can be so cruel. Be thankful that you are not in a > situation where the money that you planned on is no longer available > because an arbitrary system took it from you, Teach, you are trying to use common sense and logic, she's lost the argument and just will not admit that she is ignorant of how this system works. It's like trying to reason with one of those lunatic PITA supporters with blood all over their hands. LOL Best just to Kill file her and let her talk to herself, else it's just more noise from a lunatic. I',m off to make another pot of coffee and check fire situation, have a great day! :-) >"teachrmama" <teachrmama@iwon.com> wrote in > [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] >I',m off to make another pot of coffee and check fire situation, have a >great day! :-) So why haven't you done so yet? Still trying to get me to out with you old man? > >"teachrmama" <teachrm...@iwon.com> wrote in > [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > - Show quoted text - A lot of times the new lover causes problems. And, No I don't feel bad for her. She needs to find better employment, be a strong woman and do it by herself since she made the choice to have the kid. That's what you all keep preaching to me, so take your own advice and stop blaming other people, like the ex! ****and on this subject? I'm not the idiot who got pregnant at 21 without a degree, with a factory job and even then, decided to have 2 other kids... You see, I waited until I was 33, had 12 years in my company, made over 65K a year ON MY OWN and my OWN house, BEFORE I had my son...However, because I have a brain does not give the right to the ex-bitch to continue to have kids (she lost a set of twins after those 3 she's had already) so that I have to support her and her kids... And by the way, you see, I was the one who bought clothing for that kid when her mother would not, I was the one who took that kid clean clothing/underwear to the hospital because her MOTHER didn't have anything clean for her, I was the one who supported her butt while her mother went to do her nails every Friday...making less than 20K a year...but collecting CS...WHILE I did my own nails, colored my own hair...and even with that, you see, the EX had the daughter come to our house asking for money for trips knowing her daddy didn't have a job and I paid CS to her in full so that SHE could live rent free with her in-laws and get her nails done...Also it was the EX who RE-MARRIED 3 days after divorcing my husband... It was the EX who beat her own daughter and allowed her new hubby to beat her...but then when confronted began to get her daughter to tell her dad that she was afraid of me...And although we confronted the daughter, she lied to...and we kept thinking she was young...but as the years go by, when exactly does a kid lie like that? So if I can't stand either of them, it's not because of me, because you see, I did everything SHE didn't do herself for that kid because she was more worried about her new hubby and getting her nails done...but after 8 years of this crap, I will no longer put up with either of their lies...that's why... So, no, I did not START this mess...I made sure my ex was on time every freaking Friday to pick up his daughter, she should KISS MY a.s for being so good to her daughter for so many years, instead both of them have done nothing but make my life a living hell... Because even though she was married, she called my house flirting with my husband to piss me off... Because the ex is such a lousy mother, that she has a picture of her 10 year old laying on top of the living room table with the words "aren't I sexy" on my space! Because her own picture on my space is "sexy babe for you" laying on top of her bed, although NO DECENT MOTHER would do that much less if she was married... So again, I take care of my son...not only that, I have to take care of my husband so that bitch can sit on her a.s and continue to have kids...and so that ALSO I have to support her new hubby's TWO KIDS for which THEY DO NOT PAY SUPPORT! > I am so worn out. > What are my options? I'm so sorry... This is so difficult and crazy in so many different directions. You (all three of you) can run away and disappear, either living underground in the US or in another country. I know I don't need to list all the problems and disadvantages with that and I wouldn't do it. I do think you have to stop paying even one cent for your husband's legal or support obligations. I understand entirely how you started doing this only out of love and concern for him. But you know they will never stop as long as you have even 10 cents. The implications of this are that your husband is likely to go to jail at least until they decide that jail time won't earn them anything. You need to be strong enough, for your child to not bail your husband out. I know this is horrible and it hurts me even to write it. Before you go down this path you need to unwind any joint assets you have and let enough time pass, ideally a year or so. I didn't entirely follow your US house vs you living outside the US. I follow the markets extremely closely so I very much understand the real estate concerns but I believe you either need to sell the house at a loss or get a divorce and take ownership of the house as part of the divorce settlement or as repayment for money you loaned to him. If your husband has no assets and little or no current income which is likely once litigation heats up, if the state imprisons him he can work a writ of habeas corpus up through the legal system to the federal level. This can be done without an attorney and can be done by your husband alone even behind bars. Relying on constitutional law he typically won't be held for an extended period. The states do not want a federal ruling on this matter so they fold once the writ reaches federal court. The attribution of income can often be worn down, but it takes time (several years) with of course child support really burning through assets until the courts lose the ability to point to a recent job which had significantly higher income. Not that you need to find new expenses right now, but for several thousands dollars you can have a professional employment counselor assess your husband's background and provide a report and testimony as to what is reasonable income. This is crucial because it prevents the judge from pulling numbers out of the air. Going forward I would encourage your husband to either look at employment which involves primarily cash income or a job with government or possibly a university. Both typically provide not great incomes compared to the private sector but often have significant other benefits many of which are outside the scope of child support. The other way to do this is just keep paying until the child support ends. It depends on your stamina. I think of myself as a very strong person but honestly I could not take what you are going through. One other idea, which is a long shot but it doesn't cost you anything and I would definitely try it. I would take your post, and send it to every reporter for every paper in the state Texas is it? that has jurisdiction. It is an extremely compelling and tragic story. Most reporters won't touch it since it goes against the images of deadbeat dads and pathetic helpless ex-wives with dirty starving children wearing flour sacks. But someone might want to run this as a series. When something like this reaches public awareness everyone involved rushes to fix it so they can pretend the system works. I would do that mailing and follow it up with phone calls to each reporter. Please let us know what you decide to do. Don > > I am so worn out. > > What are my options? [quoted text clipped - 70 lines] > > Don Don, thanks so much for your suggestions...I'm going to start looking into these...I did send some information to a couple of newspapers, etc...last year when things started to get worse, but none cared. Even the AG of Texas basically said it wasn't his problem...But I will look into some of these suggestions as I'm sure many of you here know a bit more about these things than I do... |
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