Family Forum / Marriage / Divorce / March 2008

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/walk.php

I like this part a lot.

But greater social acceptance isn't the only reason divorce is enticing so
many women.   State Laws and judicial customs buffer women from of the pain
of a split.

Divorcing mothers stand roughly a 90-percent chance of winning real custody
of the children, thus child support. As a rule, ex-wifes receive half the
marital property.   Many get spousal support.  No one suggests that mothers
be forced to trudge out into the snow, babes in arms. But if we judge family
collapse to be a societal crisis, our laws should not sweeten the divorce
pot too much for either gender.

"A lot of women get bored in their marriages," say Guidubaldi, "If they can
forecast all these benefits, why stay married?"

But divorce hurts everyone.  Fathers lose disposable income and routine
contact with their children. (Q: Except in wartime, when else have loving
fathers been legally torn from their own offspring?  A: During slave
auctions before black emancipation.) Women, too, become poorer and seldom
meet Mr. Right. "By leaving instead of working on the marriage," notes
Weiner-Davis, "a woman sets herself up for a repeat experience." And the
havoc divorce wreaks on kids is axiomatic.

Divorce upends the worlds of perhaps a million U.S. children each year. Yet
surely many of the rubbled marriages producing these family-disaster waifs
are rescuable. Before granting divorces, states should mandate pro-family
counseling that teaches men and women how to talk to each other. Also, the
concept of "fault" should be introduced into divorce law. Then any spouse
who unilaterally abrogated the marital contract without just cause -- ennui
and a yen to self-actualize wouldn't count -- could expect little favor from
the court.