Family Forum / Marriage / Divorce / November 2004

To all you great men out there. You work so hard, you try your best to
be what a man should be. You work all week and on your day off you have
your kids. You can't just be a normal Dad and sit and relax and be REAL.
Noooo. You have to be smiling all the time. And think of "fun" things to
do weekends (when you're dead tired).
 I remember my dad drinking a beer, watching a game on tv. I remember
him working on the car, mowing the lawn, hauling the garbage to the dump
etc. etc.
 I don't think he ever even one time thought to be extra phoney nice to
me or my brother.  I was LUCKY to be able to go the dump or car parts
store with him. I ran and jumped into the car. The thrill of being able
to go with him!!   Remember those days?
Remember when you did something naughty you got yelled at. Or even
swatted? Remember how you'd cry when you got smacked? You loved it. Your
Dad was someone to look up to! And you did.
He took only so much guff, then he straightened you up! (Meanwhile, you
didn't see your mom and dad wink at each other, did you?) How long was
it before you came out of your room sniffing, and then crawled up on his
lap? Was it 5 minutes or 10?  Remember when you wanted something and
cried and Mom or Dad said "NO" What part of NO don't you understand?
Remember when you had to eat your vegetables? And couldn't get down
until ever pea was gone? You cried, You hated them>Oh how you hated
them. Loved them. Hated them. Loved them. You knew they loved you so
much. That's why you got swatted. That's why you had to eat your
vegetables. That's why Dad "allowed" you to tag alone to the dump.
 You were so lucky!
Can you imagine looking back now on our parents, and NEVER have been
punished? NEVER having to eat your vegetables? NEVER a swat when you
darn well deserved it? Can you only imagine either parent faking it and
sitting and smiling giving you 'Quality time?" How creepy and weird. A
smiling nodding extra extra mom or dad. Scared to death to say no. Or
punish you. Or take you in his arms and give you a big squeeze?
This is what we have done to our kids, ladies. We have taken everything
we had away from our kids.
 We as divorced moms have made a mockery of it all. Your kids are
loosing out. They don't have a REAL relaxed Mom and Dad. You harped, you
nagged, you became a bitch, and drove your man out. And if that isn't
enough, now you have stripped your kids of a real Dad. (sitting
scratching his balls, watching the game..later work on the car, or mow
the lawn)       The wonderful hunk of a man now that picks his kids up
weekends is beaten. A robot. Empty. He puts on that smile when he pulls
up to get the kids.
 But before you think ha ha ha I must tell you that there are plenty of
sweet, happy women, that are not bitches out there. I know this.....I
just married one of those guys you broke down and nearly destroyed. I
have your kids some weekends, we are a new family. I have you loving man
all week. You gripped and bitched at him for years. Now he is MINE. He
feels like a man again. You have your SUV and your huge payments....I
ahve your man andyour kids.

Moral of the story.....QUIT BITCHING at that man. Jeeez. Give him a
break. Because there are thousands of us (me) out there that will
appriciate him.