Family Forum / Marriage / Divorce / December 2004

My ex stole $10,000 of our joint money and put it in her "business"
account.

When I accidentally discovered this little stash, it was basically the
straw that brike the camels back. This is the exact moment I decided
that the marriage was over and divorce was immenent (sp?)

When she filed her financial statements, she did not declare the
$10,000 or the existance of the account. This wilful error of omission
under oath is purgery. And I, fortunately, had HARD EVIDENCE. The
courts did not give a damn. They said she must have "forgotten", and
allowed her to file revised statements. The judge completely glossed
over an issue which was key to her credibility.

Now anyone can forget $5, $10, even $100 maybe. But NO ONE "forgets"
$10,000!

Because the account was in her name only, I would have had to
counter-sue her for divorce to get any of it, which would have cost me
almost as much as the amount in the account as it would have ensured a
"trial" and would have extended the divorce time-frame by almost a
year - all the while during which she would have received "spousal
support".

Moral of the story, if you are a woman, you can get away with it. YOU
are a man. I suspect that any attempt to do this will have
consequencess.

Be that as it may, possession is nine tenths of the law! I strongly
recommend you stash some cash, however, do NOT put it in any kind of
bank account! Bank accounts can be "frozen" or "seized", etc.... There
is NOTHING they can do about CASH. CASH is negotiable, and if it is in
YOUR POCKET, then nothing can be said.

Perhaps talk to your lawyer about keeping money in a "trust account"
for you. This will prove to him that you have the money to pay his
fees, if required, and could be a source of funds in an emergency.

Other than that, you need to physically stash the cash in a safe place
that NO ONE else knows about.

Remeber - two people can keep a secret, but only if one of them is
dead!

As to amount, if I were you, I would put away as much as possible. How
much do you take home on an average paycheque? I would say at least
this amount. How about enough to buy food & gas for a couple of weeks?
For an apartment damage deposit & first month's rent? For a lawyers
retainer???

hth

   A sock is more secure than a bank when it comes to mad money for exit.
It is easier to hide away.
Around here it would take about $1000 to get an small apartment setup and
about $1000 to the lawyer to file papers and get things rolling....adjust
this for your area and you'd have a good idea what to set back.

Well, if you are certain that divorce is without a question in the
cards, then I say stash all you can.  I had my direct deposit switched
into my "personal" acct.  Hehe...that was the straw that broke her
back.  Guess she realized that I was for real about the D thing.  To
this day the ex doesn't allow me to forget it.

In a Cold World You Need Your Friends to Keep You Warm.