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Family Forum / Marriage / Divorce / December 2005match rip-off merchants
do you know if you haven't paid they tell you people have emailed you but don't let you see who has and the contents of the email (used to be the case that they didn't let you reply but they let you see it). These people are the lowest of the low. They must sit there thinking exactly what strategy is designed to most exploit peoples' vulnerable feelings to get them to pay. Parasites. There are business models far less exploitative that still make loadsa money. bogey >do you know if you haven't paid they tell you people >have emailed you but don't let you see who has and the [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > >bogey LOL... Bogey... Maybe you should try taking a cold shower. rj > do you know if you haven't paid they tell you people > have emailed you but don't let you see who has and the [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > bogey Quit wasting your time playing the dating game. There are better things to do with your time and money. >> do you know if you haven't paid they tell you people >> have emailed you but don't let you see who has and the [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > Quit wasting your time playing the dating game. There are better things > to do with your time and money. like what ? bogey Like make tons of money and be free, free, free!!! >>> do you know if you haven't paid they tell you people >>> have emailed you but don't let you see who has and the [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > >bogey ____________________ You do what you do and you pay for your sins and there's no such thing as what might have been... that's a waste of time...drive you out of your mind... Bogart said > >> do you know if you haven't paid they tell you people > >> have emailed you but don't let you see who has and the [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > like what ? Hey, you stole my answer. ;-) In two hours I'm meeting someone I've been emailing with for little over a month. We've talked on the phone a few times and text messaged a little. She seems really nice. She just came in town yesterday. Back to the subject - it doesn't seem like a waste of time to me. Casey > Bogart said > [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > > Casey Hey that's great Casey. Dating sites are not a waste of time. I've dated a lot of women I met on dating sites, including one woman that lived with me for three months just over a year ago - which didn't work out but the reasons are nothing to do with dating sites, one woman I was in an on-off-on-off relationship for over a year and one I went for a date with a couple of weeks ago and we're going for a second date Thursday. Sure you end up dating some people you might not otherwise but so what, you can enjoy a single date then not have another. They cut through the crud and tell you someone is available quickly and lets face it, the pool is smaller than it was when we were younger. I still think match is a rip-off though - I find Yahoo is much better. In fact I did everything to remove my profile and all record of it from match to be fair to women and not waste their time but I still get emails so its hanging around their database somewhere. bogey what's so bad about Match? i use it...it's Okay. dating sites are great for getting your personal "landmine" issues out there...before the time investment. "dealbreakers" that you might not discover until well into dating. snoring, "neat freaks"....or a messy person..etc...for example, no harm, no foul...just open disclosure right up front of personal hot button issues that will disrupt the relationship down the line. now whether or not people are honest with themeselves is another issue. how is match a "rip off"? when you look at the cost/month (in a 6 or 12 month subscription)...imo it's a deal...in the context of saving you $$ in wasted dating time and costs (against traditional hit and miss dating circa pre 'net). it's efficient and enables you to delineate down to potential "connections"....far better than flying blind. i live in nyc and simple after work drinks (qty two) are going to be $20 not including tip. and what kid of talk is that environment going to produce? OK...starbucks for two is still going to cost you $10. if nothing else...match enables the person to kind of feel out a person before the $20 after work spot or $10 coffee meet and greet. The cost of them all is about the same. What I dislike about match is the way the algorithm is designed to exploit. I'm talking in comparitive terms because the algorithms in the others do not seem to be quite as bad. Another example would be their free for 3 days scheme. Its not free at all but if you sign up for a month you get the first three days of it free but you must take the whole month and pay for it to get that - but they market it as if you get the first three days as like a free trial to see if you want to use it. This is very shoddy - their words are designed to deceive in my view. Then they make it procedurally hard to leave. I'm not arguing against dating sites, just this one - I think this company are sharks. I moved to Yahoo and I find their practices to be more decent. bogey > what's so bad about Match? i use it...it's Okay. dating sites are > great for getting your personal "landmine" issues out there...before [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > if nothing else...match enables the person to kind of feel out a person > before the $20 after work spot or $10 coffee meet and greet. well I already explained - I gave several detailed examples. I don't mean to be rude but you appear to not read the details I give but just repeat this stuff. I explained obvious mechanisms designed to exploit already in a couple of posts on this thread. I find other sites have better business algorithms (what they let you do and not let you do depending on when you pay and things like that). I posted that view here because sometimes people on here want to know which is a good one to use. If you are fine with match that's fine. I prefer yahoo for the reasons I have given. bogey > what's so bad about Match? i use it...it's Okay. dating sites are > great for getting your personal "landmine" issues out there...before [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > if nothing else...match enables the person to kind of feel out a person > before the $20 after work spot or $10 coffee meet and greet. Bogart said > > > > In two hours I'm meeting someone I've been emailing with for little [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > is available quickly and lets face it, the pool is smaller > than it was when we were younger. Yeah ... much smaller. Most of the ones I've met were just not my type. I've only had more than two dates with one woman as a result of all of my Match and Yahoo experiences. I ended up seeing her for about a year but finally admitted it wasn't going to work. I would never have met her if she hadn't emailed me on Match. > I still think match is a rip-off though - I find Yahoo is > much better. This is probably a good time to say that woman I met tonight is someone I found on Yahoo. Turns out she was doing the free trial and I caught her just before it ran out. In general, I've found more women I liked on Yahoo instead of Match. I hate sending emails through Yahoo though - often by the time you type a message, the verification code has expired. By the way, I really like the woman I met tonight. She looked just like her picture, if not better. She's intelligent, funny, and a bit on the irreverent side like I am. We're having lunch tomorrow. I had a feeling tonight I haven't had in a while. I found myself actually wanting her to like me. I've had this 'take me or leave me because I don't really care' attitude for most of this year. Heck, maybe she's out of my league - but I don't think so. Casey > Bogart said > [quoted text clipped - 48 lines] > > Casey Good for you Casey!!! Have fun at lunch tomorrow. Daisy Daisy said > > This is probably a good time to say that woman I met tonight is someone > > I found on Yahoo. Turns out she was doing the free trial and I caught [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > Good for you Casey!!! Have fun at lunch tomorrow. Thanks, Daisy. Methinks the lunch will be fun. Casey > We're having lunch tomorrow. I had a feeling tonight I haven't had in > a while. I found myself actually wanting her to like me. I've had > this 'take me or leave me because I don't really care' attitude for > most of this year. Heck, maybe she's out of my league - but I don't > think so. Sounds like a good sign whether or not you hit it off....Good luck kato said > > We're having lunch tomorrow. I had a feeling tonight I haven't had in > > a while. I found myself actually wanting her to like me. I've had [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Sounds like a good sign whether or not you hit it off....Good luck Thanks ... whether or not anything comes out of this, it was a refreshing feeling. Casey >We're having lunch tomorrow. I had a feeling tonight I haven't had in >a while. I found myself actually wanting her to like me. I've had >this 'take me or leave me because I don't really care' attitude for >most of this year. Heck, maybe she's out of my league - but I don't >think so. No such thing as "leagues". Enjoy and let it unfold (or not) as it will. Savor the moments and good feelings and enjoy the adventure we call life. >>We're having lunch tomorrow. I had a feeling tonight I haven't had in >>a while. I found myself actually wanting her to like me. I've had [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > No such thing as "leagues". I agree but ...... There is a market effect. More attractive women sometimes make less effort than less attractive ones. bogey > Enjoy and let it unfold (or not) as it will. > Savor the moments and good feelings and enjoy the adventure we call life. > Bogart said > [quoted text clipped - 48 lines] > > Casey Heartwarming Casey. could be that because match has more exploitative algorithms it attracts more vulnerable people - yahoo is a bit more like putting a newspaper advert in, for which you have to be more of a radiator than a sink. It seems like you used to use match and now use yahoo as do I ? good luck. bogey > Bogart said > [quoted text clipped - 48 lines] > > Casey Great news Casey! I was hoping to hear news like this from you. Can't wait to hear how lunch went. Cheryl Cheryl said > > By the way, I really like the woman I met tonight. She looked just > > like her picture, if not better. She's intelligent, funny, and a bit [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Can't wait to hear how lunch went. The lunch went pretty well. I met her at one of the nicer places that sits right on the beach. I even managed to get a corner seat where both walls are glass - nice view. She's pretty easy on the eyes too. I'll have to say that she is different from any woman I've ever dated - she is more of the structured, take-charge, super-organized type (I'm more laid back and tend to go with the flow). However, she is also super cheerful and optimistic. The last woman I dated was too timid and had a negative outlook on life. That wore me down after a while. The lunch experience was nice. We're spending the afternoon tomorrow doing some exploring. She's leaving in a few days - somehow we're suppose to work in a movie and make it to at least 3 other places to eat. When I met her last night, she was at a casual beach restaurant with her college-aged daughter ... and 4 of her girl friends. Nothing like walking up to a table of 6 women - but I did and had a fun time with all of them. It was pretty much a non-ending laughing experience. The first thing the lady told me today was that I was a big hit with all the girls. Casey >Cheryl said >> > [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] >The first thing the lady told me today was that I was a big hit with >all the girls. Now there ya go!! :-) (btw, enjoy that.. uhhh... "exploring"..) > Cheryl said > > > [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Casey If your next post describes a sevensome, I'm gonna KF you! <AMS> kato said > "Casey" <cclremovethispart@cox.net> wrote in message > > Cheryl said [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > If your next post describes a sevensome, I'm gonna KF you! > <AMS> If had a sevensome, I would not be able to post for a very long time. I probably wouldn't want to either. <AMS> Casey > kato said > [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > > I probably wouldn't want to either. <AMS> Post? Or have a sevensome? Rambler >>Cheryl said >> [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] > If your next post describes a sevensome, I'm gonna KF you! > <AMS> You kidding? I'm going to deify him. Rambler > >>Cheryl said > >> [quoted text clipped - 42 lines] > > Rambler Shows what a frigging idiot you are Mumbler. William >>>>Cheryl said >>>> [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > > Shows what a frigging idiot you are Mumbler. <lol> yawn. Rambler >Shows what a frigging idiot you are Mumbler. It shows more than that about you, willi, that you are following Rambler into new threads just to post lame crap like that above. Time to get a life, kid. BP >>Shows what a frigging idiot you are Mumbler. > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > BP I guess he was in love with Rambler. It can be hard to let go. bogey >>> Shows what a frigging idiot you are Mumbler. >> [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >> > I guess he was in love with Rambler. It can be hard to let go. Ah yes ... my fans, my adoring fans. I'm still not bending over to pick up the soap. Rambler > The first thing the lady told me today was that I was a big hit with > all the girls. Now, why does that not surprise me? :-) Sounds like fun, Casey.  SignatureCal~ calliope 123 at gmail dot com -Calliope- said > > The first thing the lady told me today was that I was a big hit with > > all the girls. > > Now, why does that not surprise me? :-) Sounds like fun, Casey. Yeah, it was fun. It was a nice group of girls - they were hilarious. It was a nice experience. Nothing is more rewarding than having a whole table laughing a few times. I was surprised how many questions the girls asked me - I expected them to be too busy talking with each other. Interesting sidenote: the woman (let's call her "S") told me today that they thought it was neat that I listened to them, talked to each one of them at some point, and then remembered things about them when they were leaving. Boil all that down and it sounds like they were thrilled that an adult treated them like ... regular people. Hearing that today surprised me a little - I was just being my normal self. S told me that she thinks some of the girls may not have great parent role models. Slightly sad sidenote: When I first sat down, "S" asked me what I had been doing that day. I told them I had just put up a Christmas Tree. One of the girls blurted out, "I wish my dad would put up a tree". Her parents are divorced. She looked so serious that I couldn't think of much to say. Casey Postscript sidenote: Yes, this will be the third woman I've dated in 3 years who's first name starts with an "S". If this one doesn't work out, it's time to move on to another letter. Have you read any of Jimmy Buffett's books? You kinda write/sound like him. Who knows, maybe it's just the way y'all are in FL. >-Calliope- said >> [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] >years who's first name starts with an "S". If this one doesn't work >out, it's time to move on to another letter. ____________________ You do what you do and you pay for your sins and there's no such thing as what might have been... that's a waste of time...drive you out of your mind... My Own Doppelganger said > >Interesting sidenote: the woman (let's call her "S") told me today > >that they thought it was neat that I listened to them, talked to each [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > Have you read any of Jimmy Buffett's books? You kinda write/sound > like him. Who knows, maybe it's just the way y'all are in FL. Wow ... Jimmy is one of my heroes. In general, we are a little bit different in Florida. Casey > One of the girls blurted out, "I wish my dad would put up a tree". Her > parents are divorced. eek.. this is the first year I've not put any decorations out, but I'm starting to feel a bit guilty. DD and I are hoping to get to it this wednesday.. Decided we'd just do a tree, a few ornaments and not much else, as it's rather late now. SignatureCal~ calliope 123 at gmail dot com > eek.. this is the first year I've not put any decorations out, but I'm > starting to feel a bit guilty. DD and I are hoping to get to it this > wednesday.. Decided we'd just do a tree, a few ornaments and not much else, > as it's rather late now. Yeah, right. GGG SignatureTo contact me: GGGNH@yahoo.mail >> eek.. this is the first year I've not put any decorations out, but >> I'm starting to feel a bit guilty. DD and I are hoping to get to it >> this wednesday.. Decided we'd just do a tree, a few ornaments and not >> much else, as it's rather late now. > > Yeah, right. You don't think we'll put up a tree? SignatureCal~ calliope 123 at gmail dot com >>> eek.. this is the first year I've not put any decorations out, but >>> I'm starting to feel a bit guilty. DD and I are hoping to get to it [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > -- > Cal~ You said "we decided we'd JUST do a tree..." And he said, "Yeah right" You don't get it?? Geessh, even I get it over here! > >> eek.. this is the first year I've not put any decorations out, but > >> I'm starting to feel a bit guilty. DD and I are hoping to get to it [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > You don't think we'll put up a tree? "a few ornaments and not much else" :-) GGG SignatureTo contact me: GGGNH@yahoo.mail >>>> eek.. this is the first year I've not put any decorations out, but >>>> I'm starting to feel a bit guilty. DD and I are hoping to get to it [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > GGG I already translated it for her, GGG. You're a day late, and a dollar short. I'll collect later. >> In article <Xns9731F15A5CC3119599491@207.217.125.201>, "-Calliope-" >> <calliope123remove@removegmail.com> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > I already translated it for her, GGG. You're a day late, and a dollar > short. I'll collect later. too bad you interpreted incorrectly, though. maybe try again some other time. SignatureCal~ calliope 123 at gmail dot com >>>>>> eek.. this is the first year I've not put any decorations out, but >>>>>> I'm starting to feel a bit guilty. DD and I are hoping to get to it [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > -- > Cal~ Nah, I think I interpreted it "right on". Come on now! > Nah, I think I interpreted it "right on". Come on now! Well, you're welcome to think what you want.. as my ex used to say about people with opinions.. they're entitled to their opinions, even if they are wrong! LOL.. SignatureCal~ calliope 123 at gmail dot com > Decided we'd just do a tree, a few ornaments and not >> >> much else, as it's rather late now. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > "a few ornaments and not much else" :-) Well.. once we drag the stuff from the attic.. :-p SignatureCal~ calliope 123 at gmail dot com Most excellent! :-) >Cheryl said >> > [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > >Casey ____________________ You do what you do and you pay for your sins and there's no such thing as what might have been... that's a waste of time...drive you out of your mind... > Cheryl said > [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Casey Hey! Lunch AND dinner? Wow, you are squeezing a whole lotta dating in a short time. I see one potential red flag... For someone who is very laid back like you are, being with a structured person could be hell for both of you. (experience talking here) If it isn't a big issue, no worries! It depends on how 'structured' she is (like OCD or has control issues like I do). I make my SO a little nuts cause I MUST clean up after dinner, can't let the dishes sit overnight. I can let them go an hour or two, but not overnight. I just feel really uneasy if there is a mess around and I try to explain it isn't me trying to make him feel lazy or that he has to do something, but it is something that *I* have to do for me. Sorry I got off on a tangent, but wanted to let ya know of my experience. I don't wanna see ya get hurt! :) Have fun in the next few days. How far away does this lady live? Cheryl Cheryl said > > The lunch went pretty well. I met her at one of the nicer places that > > sits right on the beach. I even managed to get a corner seat where both [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > Hey! Lunch AND dinner? Wow, you are squeezing a whole lotta dating in > a short time. We're spending most of the afternoon together just goofing off and touring around. I'm officially calling it a real estate tour. I'm not fooling my real estate friends though. > I see one potential red flag... For someone who is very > laid back like you are, being with a structured person could be hell for [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > lazy or that he has to do something, but it is something that *I* have > to do for me. It could be a big problem - that's one reason I've made sure I come across just like my normal unstructured self. I've always been one of those that accomplishes little on some days and then does three days of work in the next. When I get on a roll, I go with it. When I feel like I'm beating my head against a wall, I take a break. I spent years of doing development work as an independent contractor. My day-to-day work was basically invisible - it was the end results that mattered and I always delivered a good product. I just couldn't be creative every day from 8 to 5. In many ways, real estate is similar. Some days I never get to slow down. Other days, I can hardly stay awake because nothing is happening. This woman I just met is a teacher - they have structured lives by necessity. She also does after school extracuricular stuff every day as well. > Sorry I got off on a tangent, but wanted to let ya know of my > experience. I don't wanna see ya get hurt! :) Believe me, I appreciate the concern. > Have fun in the next few days. How far away does this lady live? Arkansas ... but has been seriously considering moving here for some time now. Casey > Cheryl said > [quoted text clipped - 57 lines] > > Casey Glad yer eyes are open. I know how those 'opposite' characteristics can seem endearing at first and then turn around to bite ya later. (although biting sometimes is good ;) Cheryl Cheryl said > > Cheryl said > > [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > seem endearing at first and then turn around to bite ya later. > (although biting sometimes is good ;) Well, there is a good possibility that our characteristics are just too different. Our personalities are just nothing alike. Yesterday was fun, but after it was all said and done, there is just something that is not there at all. I'll call it chemistry for lack of a better word. She told me last night that she is "high maintenance" - that turned into an interesting discussion. We may completely different views on what we want in a relationship. Casey > Cheryl said > [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Casey In the immortal words of Monty Python... 'Run away!' :( Sorry it isn't gonna work out, but glad you found out sooner than later... Cheryl >> Cheryl said >> [quoted text clipped - 41 lines] >later... >Cheryl I agree. And good thing she was honest about the "high maintenance" thing from the beginning, good for both of you really. ML (who told her husband she's emotionally "high maintenance" even before the first date, so he could have turned and run if he chose to) Cheryl said > > Cheryl said > >> [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > In the immortal words of Monty Python... 'Run away!' Or, "Run, Forest, run ....". > :( Sorry it isn't gonna work out, but glad you found out sooner than > later... Yeah, but now I'm stuck with the distinct possibility that she thinks things are going really well. This is the part that I hate. She called this morning wanting me and my son to come move furniture around today (she's leaving tomorrow). Once again I'm getting the eerie feeling that I've found someone else that looks at me mostly as someone to do stuff for her. I don't mind doing things (to an extent), but there has to be something else as well. I've got plenty of stuff I need to be doing for myself. Casey >She called this morning wanting me and my son to come move furniture >around today (she's leaving tomorrow). Once again I'm getting the >eerie feeling that I've found someone else that looks at me mostly as >someone to do stuff for her. I don't mind doing things (to an extent), >but there has to be something else as well. I've got plenty of stuff I >need to be doing for myself. Isn't it kind a bit too early for a "honey-do" list? >>She called this morning wanting me and my son to come move furniture >>around today (she's leaving tomorrow). Once again I'm getting the [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Isn't it kind a bit too early for a "honey-do" list? Yeah, it should at least come after at least one 'honey-do-me'. Sheesh, the noive! Cheryl MaryLou said > >She called this morning wanting me and my son to come move furniture > >around today (she's leaving tomorrow). Once again I'm getting the [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Isn't it kind a bit too early for a "honey-do" list? Yeah, just a bit since we're nowhere near the "honey" stage. Casey > Cheryl said > [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > > Casey Hmmm... didn't you say you were busy? I distinctly remember you saying you had plans today... Sorry you have 'nice guy' written all over ya. It's a curse, I tell ya. Cheryl Cheryl said > > Cheryl said > >>:( Sorry it isn't gonna work out, but glad you found out sooner than > >>later... [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > Hmmm... didn't you say you were busy? I distinctly remember you saying > you had plans today... I managed to have some. I nixed the furniture move idea. > Sorry you have 'nice guy' written all over ya. It's a curse, I tell ya. Yeah, but what can you do but keep puttering along? Casey > Cheryl said > [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Casey I'm sure you can think of some barstool with your name on it somewhere? :p Cheryl Cheryl said > > Cheryl said > >>> [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > I'm sure you can think of some barstool with your name on it somewhere? :p I did manage somehow to find one last night. ;-) Casey > Hmmm... didn't you say you were busy? I distinctly remember you saying > you had plans today... > > Sorry you have 'nice guy' written all over ya. It's a curse, I tell ya. Wow!! Nice guys are cursed? I feel like my eyes have just been opened and I can see for the first time. terrance >>Hmmm... didn't you say you were busy? I distinctly remember you saying >>you had plans today... [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > terrance Hmmm... that was said 'tongue in cheek'. I have a nice guy and wouldn't trade him for the world. Cheryl >>>Sorry you have 'nice guy' written all over ya. It's a curse, I tell ya. >> [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Cheryl I figured it was, hence my statement also. Having only read some of this thread, it seems that Casey thinks he might be getting taken advantage of. So being nice in that aspect can certainly allow that to happen. I'm sure it happens on both sides though. terrance > Cheryl said > > > Cheryl said [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > but there has to be something else as well. I've got plenty of stuff I > need to be doing for myself. This one is a tough one Casey. I'm the type of woman that HATES asking for help. I'd rather move a dresser on my own and risk throwing out my back rather than call someone and ask them to help me. Recently, I've actually resorted to hiring people to help me with a few things that I just couldn't do and felt too guilty asking someone. With that being said...if this woman, who seems to have no trouble asking and you being the type that likes to help when you can, if she were at least somewhat reciprocal in the asking/helping dept.; well, that would be nice. What I am trying to say is that (I guess) there are relationships out there where both halves of the relationship genuninely want to help each other and feel comfortable asking each other for help. Your last comment, "I've got plenty of stuff to do myself" made me wonder if you're the type that doesn't like asking for help. If so, then you and I are afflicted with the same curse. If not, then I see this as an opportunity for you to say....you know, I've moved your dresser and showed you around florida and enjoyed the dinner we had. I'm wondering how you'd feel about giving me a hand with blady blah? See if she really is just into taking and not giving. Just a thought :-) nonamedotcom said > > She called this morning wanting me and my son to come move furniture > > around today (she's leaving tomorrow). Once again I'm getting the [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > actually resorted to hiring people to help me with a few things that I > just couldn't do and felt too guilty asking someone. That's the other extreme. Everyone needs a little help once a while. > Your last comment, "I've got plenty of stuff to do myself" made me > wonder if you're the type that doesn't like asking for help. If so, > then you and I are afflicted with the same curse. I'll admit I'm not the best at asking for help either. > If not, then I see > this as an opportunity for you to say....you know, I've moved your [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Just a thought :-) Not a bad one either. Mostly I just don't have unlimited time to spend doing things for someone else - especially if what I consider to be the important parts of a relationship aren't there. I don't mind helping anyone from time to time, but I'm just getting a bad feeling here. I think we may have totally different views of what constitutes a relationship. Casey > nonamedotcom said >> > She called this morning wanting me and my son to come move furniture [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Casey What is your view of what constitutes a relationship? This would be a hard question for me to answer. Elisa > Cheryl said > [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > > We may completely different views on what we want in a relationship. Can I posit another potential side to this? Could any of this have to do with fear of commitment from your side? This mini-relationship seems like many others that you've talked about over the past several years. Just a thought. Rambler Rambler said > > Well, there is a good possibility that our characteristics are just too > > different. Our personalities are just nothing alike. [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > like many others that you've talked about over the past several years. > Just a thought. Well, I have thought about that, but I don't think that's the case. It is true that I have a fear of being entangled with someone I don't feel the right way about and probably never will. I'm not much on casual dating - I lose interest fairly quickly if there is no potential for a serious relationship. Casey > Rambler said > [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > casual dating - I lose interest fairly quickly if there is no potential > for a serious relationship. Can I posit again that perhaps you might want to get a killkahonneekenny or three and think about that (how in the hell do you spell that beer's name, and can you send me some so I can taste it?)? Rambler Rambler said > > Rambler said > >>> [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > or three and think about that (how in the hell do you spell that beer's > name, and can you send me some so I can taste it?)? I did a lot of thinking about it last night while partaking of some Maker's Mark. I had a blinding flash of insight last night and figured it all out - but now I can't remember. I think it all boils down to I'm not going to start a relationship with someone I'm not attracted to. There is a lot of difference between meeting someone attractive (she is) and being attracted to someone. As for the beer ... try a virtual one for the time being: http://www.kokaneebeer.com/ Enjoy. Casey came to this thread late and don't have the preamble but Casey, I'm really sorry the lunch evidently didn't go well :-( you were pretty anticipatory. I've been there, and it's always a puzzle....second date, third date....things are so illogical, ain't they!? We try to use filters and we try to have road maps and periscopes and history lessons....but there's just no telling. Tonight I was reading some of the emails my bf wrote in 2004 during the "hot and heavy but not yet done the deed" stage of our relationship....and that's where I am with this guy I met a few weeks ago....and he is saying so many of the same things (but less eloquently, LOL!)...but....well, I didn't mean to veer off into my own neighborhood....just wanted to say sorry for the letdown....things can seem so promising and then just kind of fizzle. My motto remains: Expect nothing! ;-) > Rambler said > >> > Well, there is a good possibility that our characteristics are just too >> > different. Our personalities are just nothing alike. >> > >> > Yesterday was fun, but after it was all said and done, there is just >> > something that is not there at all. I'll call it chemistry for lack of >> > a better word. She told me last night that she is "high maintenance" - >> > that turned into an interesting discussion. >> > >> > We may completely different views on what we want in a relationship. >> >> Can I posit another potential side to this? Could any of this have to >> do with fear of commitment from your side? This mini-relationship seems >> like many others that you've talked about over the past several years. >> Just a thought. > > Well, I have thought about that, but I don't think that's the case. > > It is true that I have a fear of being entangled with someone I don't > feel the right way about and probably never will. I'm not much on > casual dating - I lose interest fairly quickly if there is no potential > for a serious relationship. > > > Casey wickedways said > came to this thread late and don't have the preamble but Casey, I'm > really sorry the lunch evidently didn't go well :-( you were pretty > anticipatory. I've been there, and it's always a puzzle....second date, > third date....things are so illogical, ain't they!? We try to use > filters and we try to have road maps and periscopes and history > lessons....but there's just no telling. The lunch went just fine. We went to dinner the next night, and then saw a movie the last night she was here. My interest level just kept declining as I learned more about her. She admitted to me she is high- maintenance and wants to be pampered. I want someone with simpler ideas of what it takes to be happy - someone warm and affectionate and more down to earth. > Tonight I was reading some of the emails my bf wrote in 2004 during > the "hot and heavy but not yet done the deed" stage of our [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > seem so promising and then just kind of fizzle. My motto remains: Expect > nothing! ;-) I'll have to say, that's pretty much mine as well. My expectations before meeting here were not all that high. She's a good-looking, nice lady - but just not my type. I went to a Christmas party last night that me and my friends put together at a local establishment. We had about 25 people - just a collection of good friends and whoever they wanted to bring. Somehow the one woman I would have picked ended up sitting by me. I spent 3 hours talking to her and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it (the hugs were nice too). She is incredibly nice and sweet. I realized while sitting there that I was having a warm and fuzzy feeling that I never had with the "date" woman that just left. Casey >wickedways said > [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > >Casey You know, more than once I have either experienced or seen situations where you try like heck to "make it happen", and it falls flat in its face. Finally, when you sit down, chill out, and just start being yourself - love drops right in your lap! Good for you Casey. I hope this lady is the Christmas present you always wanted. I hope you got her number! ;) > >wickedways said > > [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > >collection of good friends and whoever they wanted to bring. Somehow > >the one woman I would have picked ended up sitting by me. I spent 3 Come on, dude! That wasn't coincidence. She didn't "end up" sitting next to you... women are sly and sneaky in ways we as men will never know. Personally, I always sit next to the cutest, most-available woman. > >hours talking to her and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it (the > >hugs were nice too). She is incredibly nice and sweet. I realized > >while sitting there that I was having a warm and fuzzy feeling that I > >never had with the "date" woman that just left. What the heck is that "fuzzy feeling" anyway? I wish I could turn mine on and off, or at least put my dang finger on what causes it so I could look for it. My "fuzzy feeling" goes off at the weirdest times. I'm pretty sure mine has something to do with smell and what might be an over-developed amygdala. > >Casey > > You know, more than once I have either experienced or seen situations > where you try like heck to "make it happen", and it falls flat in its > face. Finally, when you sit down, chill out, and just start being > yourself - love drops right in your lap! Read above post. Mr. Casey got snooped, bro, and he's too humble to admit it. I once watched a woman at a company happy hour move from one end of the table, chair-by-chair, until not only was she next to me, but when I got back from the restroom, she was sitting in my chair, blinking at me! Not being cocky, but women have some strange and mysterious methods for attracting us. Sneaky wimmenz! - Saul > Good for you Casey. I hope this lady is the Christmas present you > always wanted. I hope you got her number! ;) saulgoode said > > >I went to a Christmas party last night that me and my friends put > > >together at a local establishment. We had about 25 people - just a [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > know. Personally, I always sit next to the cutest, most-available > woman. Oh, I try to do the same thing. She did have her choice of seats when she showed up ... and sat next to me. Her other options weren't that great though. > > >hours talking to her and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it (the > > >hugs were nice too). She is incredibly nice and sweet. I realized [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > pretty sure mine has something to do with smell and what might be an > over-developed amygdala. Yeah, it's totally unpredictable. Last night it was mostly a nice feeling of sitting beside someone who is so warm, pleasant, and calm. She has a "presence" about her (okay, it doesn't hurt that she is a looker too). Casey NewMan said > Casey <cclremovethispart@cox.net> > > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > face. Finally, when you sit down, chill out, and just start being > yourself - love drops right in your lap! I do think there is a lot to that. > Good for you Casey. I hope this lady is the Christmas present you > always wanted. I hope you got her number! ;) Oh, I have no idea this will ever go anywhere. She is headed out of town for about a week, but she has started dropping in during some of my afternoon get-togethers with my friends. I think it's about the only social activity she has. I don't want her to feel awkward by changing the dynamics of things - there's no hurry. Actually, I've known her for a while, but her "situation" has changed recently ... she just went through a breakup. There seems to be a line forming though - although I was certainly at the front of the line for a while during a really nice evening last night. Casey oops...just out of a breakup...be careful Casey! A line is forming? How old is she? > NewMan said > > Casey <cclremovethispart@cox.net> [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > > Casey wickedways said > oops...just out of a breakup...be careful Casey! True, but the breakup has been in progress for quite a while. Still though, she needs time to adjust and chill out. > A line is forming? How old is she? I guess I did forget to mention that she's only 37. Casey 37: yeah, a little on the young side but....does she have kids? How long married (or allied)? > wickedways said > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Casey I heard that women are in their sexual prime at 37! :) >37: yeah, a little on the young side but....does she have kids? How long >married (or allied)? [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >> >> Casey not true by me...more like mid-late 40s.....that's what I hear/read anyway..... > I heard that women are in their sexual prime at 37! :) > [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > >> > >> Casey >not true by me...more like mid-late 40s.....that's what I hear/read >anyway..... 49. definitely 49... >> I heard that women are in their sexual prime at 37! :) >> [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] >> >> >> >> Casey inky56NOSPAM@hellokitty.com says... >>not true by me...more like mid-late 40s.....that's what I hear/read >>anyway..... >49. definitely 49... I'm in for the time of my life then. Didn't get married before I was 50, but it looks like she will. wickedways said > Casey <cclremovethispart@cox.net> wrote in message > > wickedways said [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > 37: yeah, a little on the young side but....does she have kids? How long > married (or allied)? Yes, she is a little on the young side. She has one boy who is seventeen and one who is somewhere around 8 or 9. Not sure how long they were together, but it wasn't a short relationship. Casey > I want someone with simpler >ideas of what it takes to be happy - someone warm and affectionate and >more down to earth. Sorry, i'm taken. ;-) MaryLou said > > I want someone with simpler > >ideas of what it takes to be happy - someone warm and affectionate and > >more down to earth. > > Sorry, i'm taken. > ;-) Yeah, I know ... <sigh>. Casey Wow, Casey, talk about a quick recovery! Do you land on your feet or what???? Way to go! as for the other woman, if someone says "high maintenance" I'd run. ICK and triple ICK! as for chemistry, if it's there it is THERE, right? sometimes it turns up later, second or third meeting...but I hope you do see this Christmas party woman again! > wickedways said > [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > > Casey >as for chemistry, if it's there it is THERE, right? sometimes it turns up >later, second or third meeting.. that's how it's worked for me in the past. if it's there immediately (as opposed to creeping in slowly), it doesn't last. wickedways said > Wow, Casey, talk about a quick recovery! Do you land on your feet or > what???? > Way to go! as for the other woman, if someone says "high maintenance" I'd > run. ICK and triple ICK! Yep. > as for chemistry, if it's there it is THERE, right? sometimes it turns up > later, second or third meeting...but I hope you do see this Christmas party > woman again! I wouldn't say there was an explosion of chemistry - but there was a touch of it. I really enjoy being around her which is refreshing. I've known her for a while and usually see her in a group setting once or twice a week. She's just now getting comfortable with showing up and staying a few minutes. We've talked a few times before, but last night was a bit different - plus we were there for about 3 hours. Like I said before, this may not turn into anything at all. She is easily one of the nicest women in this area. My friends agree ... including two other guys who are single. Casey >We're spending most of the afternoon together just goofing off and >touring around. I'm officially calling it a real estate tour. I'm not >fooling my real estate friends though. Well, yeah... 'cause isn't she the one who already has a house in your town, just doesn't live there year-round? >It could be a big problem - that's one reason I've made sure I come >across just like my normal unstructured self. That's good, just so she doesn't get it in her head that she is the one to "fix" you and give you more structure. I hope you are enjoying your afternoon with her! BP BP said > >We're spending most of the afternoon together just goofing off and > >touring around. I'm officially calling it a real estate tour. I'm not > >fooling my real estate friends though. > > Well, yeah... 'cause isn't she the one who already has a house in your > town, just doesn't live there year-round? You are correct - yes, she owns a condo here. > >It could be a big problem - that's one reason I've made sure I come > >across just like my normal unstructured self. > > That's good, just so she doesn't get it in her head that she is the > one to "fix" you and give you more structure. Yeah, because I'm "unfixable" in that respect. I like myself just like I am. > I hope you are enjoying your afternoon with her! It was a fun, different afternoon. Casey Ok, along Cheryl's line... That which initially attracts us will drive us crazy if we do not integrate it into ourselves. Directly from my prior pshrink - not a wise dude, but knowledgable nevertheless. >Cheryl said > [quoted text clipped - 56 lines] > >Casey ____________________ You do what you do and you pay for your sins and there's no such thing as what might have been... that's a waste of time...drive you out of your mind... > Bogart said >> > [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > most of this year. Heck, maybe she's out of my league - but I don't > think so. <taps fists with Casey> Way ta go. >Bogart said >> > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >> > >> > Back to the subject - it doesn't seem like a waste of time to me. Here and below, I think we're just back to the usual 'it depends on what you want'. The online thing doesn't change the nature of people. If you're easily dissatisfied, you'll be dissatisfied by your online matches as well. Nor are the people you meet going to be different people. But it does make it easier to find single people of appropriate age and geography. [snip] >By the way, I really like the woman I met tonight. She looked just >like her picture, if not better. She's intelligent, funny, and a bit [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >most of this year. Heck, maybe she's out of my league - but I don't >think so. League, schmeague. Have fun. On the topic, tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of my first date with my girlfriend. We met online. We've had a lot of fun since! :-) SignatureRobert Grumbine http://www.radix.net/~bobg/ Science faqs and amateur activities notes and links. Sagredo (Galileo Galilei) "You present these recondite matters with too much evidence and ease; this great facility makes them less appreciated than they would be had they been presented in a more abstruse manner." Two New Sciences |
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