Family Forum / Marriage / Divorce / February 2006

Time and distance.  Lots of both.

____________________
You do what you do and you pay for your sins
and there's no such thing as what might have been...
that's a waste of time...drive you out of your mind...

Time is the best healer.

You focus on your mistakes, it will probably make you feel guilty. If you
focus on her mistakes, then it will probably make you angry.

Since you filed, you may be feeling guilty about it, but it sounds like you
did the right thing.

Maybe you should join a divorce support group t your church or a community
center.. It helps to hear others in the same situation.

joe123@yahoo.com says...

A lot of that depends on how you think. It took me quite a while to realize
what I was trying to keep together no longer existed. Sometimes you're just too
close or tied up in a situation to see a clear picture of what you're dealing
with. I sure as hell didn't.

When I did get a divorce, I had 4 people tell me that they didn't know how I
lasted as long as I did. My two oldest children, a friend of nearly 30 years,
and my mother.

But you miss her anyway

You both are dating and are separated...

But you are separated since a year and you both are dating

Get a better date or a better hobby.

I have nightmares every other night so better I rather don't tell you
how to get a better sleep.
Focus your mind on something else.
You feel perhaps lonely but you are not alone.

Okay so you all are telling me Time, time, time.
Yes i have been focusing on my mistakes, it does
hurt, yes i feel so guilt for filing.  However I
have been alone during our seperation, she has not.
My main focus here now forever are our two kids, ages
seven and four.  They don't deserve this at all.
I've begged for another chance i've pleaded for another
chance, and all i get is "I'd rather take a knife to my
wrists than to take you back."  I don't wanna sound
like i'm bashing her but i know she's got so much
anger built up inside.
I am joining a divorce group that will start up March 6th
at one of our local churches.  She and i used to attend
church every Sunday.  
"A lot of that depends on how you think. It took me quite a while to
realize
what I was trying to keep together no longer existed. Sometimes you're
just too
close or tied up in a situation to see a clear picture of what you're
dealing
with."  
I like that. yes i am tring to keep it together but somehow
I lost my grip.
I wonder myself how it's lasted this long... That's why i
went ahead and filed.  I just want this hurt to go away
or somehow be forgotten.