just wanna talk

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myrtle02 - 19 Apr 2007 05:44 GMT

Well, I have never had a blog or "chat" on the internet. But I am
finding myself stuck in finding ot what I want in life. I have been
married for 3 years and we've been together 8 years. We have 2
children. I just recently told my husband I am unhappy. I found
myself feeling like i was half an inch tall and that anything i ever
do is just not good enough. He drinks everyday and whenever we go out
to have a drink with friends he ends up hammered very early and needs
to go home to pass out. He's told me to stay while he goes home but
than its a huge fight and a huge scene. Usually in front of friends.
I feel as though I am a caged butterfly. Its like being a candle and
having someone snuff out the flame. All the time. I am so happy when
I am away Than i get around him and i feel bad about myself and
cranky. I do love him but I am not sure if thats what I want right
now. Is it fair for me to take time and find what I want? Or is that
selfish? Anyone with any tips let me know.... I am completely lost.

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newspiritCEO@gmail.com - 19 Apr 2007 12:32 GMT

> Well, I have never had a blog or "chat" on the internet. But I am
> finding myself stuck in finding ot what I want in life. I have been
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
> now. Is it fair for me to take time and find what I want? Or is that
> selfish? Anyone with any tips let me know.... I am completely lost.

Well I definatly think you should pray about it and be 100 % honest
and open with him. Think long and hard about your options, your
motives, and make your decisions. If that dosent work well I guess
you will have your answer... good luck..

adrian

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mhitsos@lycos.com - 19 Apr 2007 12:42 GMT

> Well, I have never had a blog or "chat" on the internet. But I am
> finding myself stuck in finding ot what I want in life. I have been
> married for 3 years and we've been together 8 years. We have 2
> children. I just recently told my husband I am unhappy. I found
> myself feeling like i was half an inch tall and that anything i ever
> do is just not good enough. He drinks everyday

1-2 beers or a glass of vine or two is ok but if he is drunk or almost
drunk everyday he needs treatment.

> and whenever we go out
> to have a drink with friends he ends up hammered very early and needs
> to go home to pass out. He's told me to stay while he goes home but
> than its a huge fight and a huge scene. Usually in front of friends.

> I feel as though I am a caged butterfly. Its like being a candle and
> having someone snuff out the flame. All the time. I am so happy when
> I am away Than i get around him and i feel bad about myself and
> cranky. I do love him but I am not sure if thats what I want right
> now. Is it fair for me to take time and find what I want? Or is that
> selfish? Anyone with any tips let me know.... I am completely lost.

He got to respect you and himself.
You have the right to be treated with respect AND love.
If you love him give him a chanche or two but tell him this.

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sanjigor@gmail.com - 20 Apr 2007 01:09 GMT

hi how are you

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mgdorn@hotmail.com - 20 Apr 2007 07:40 GMT

On Apr 19, 7:09 pm, sanji...@gmail.com wrote:

> > Well, I have never had a blog or "chat" on the internet. But I am
> > finding myself stuck in finding ot what I want in life. I have been
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
>
> hi how are you

hello

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strongarmmo@hotmail.com - 20 Apr 2007 20:31 GMT

Hi you say you love this man and you have a family. ok seeems he may
have a problem with the drink but we live in a fallen world and we
all fall short of the glory of god. The bible says "seek first the
kindom of god". god knows what you need before you even ask him. In
life we put our faith in a lot of things. our partner, our job, our
money or possessons, but nothing can make up or come near the love of
god. in that whilst we were still sinners god sent his only begotten
son to die on the cross for us that we may be saved and pass from
death to life through him. a shedding of blood, a sacrifice once for
all who will accept the gift of forgiveness through jesus christ. I
would encourage you to read the bible ie the new testament to find
your answers. if you seek god he will find you. he is a wonderful god
and will reveal himself to you. I started to read the bible in
october 04 and new that i was going to be saved by faith in christ, as
it turned out my wife, could not bear this, she said what was wrong
with us that you needed god. and after a little while divorced me, but
i am not lonely, "the joy of the lord is my strength". b Turn to the
bible for the word of god. repent, be forgiven and recieve christ into
your heart. he knows what you need and these things will be added to
you.

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GGGNH - 21 Apr 2007 23:54 GMT

This is neither a chat or a blog, but one of many newsgroups that Google
and some others have turned into part of their money making machine.

I noticed you didn't get much of a response here. That seems to happen a
lot here lately. This group seems to be slowly losing it's place for
real support. So I thought I'd at least offer you a bit of my opinion.

Sounds like your marriage is in trouble and you both need to talk about
the situation. Instead of attempting to offer you an analysis I am going
to tell you that I think you need to get to a counselor. If he won't go
also, at least go yourself so you can better deal with the way you
handle the situation. You didn't mention if you have children, but if
you do you need to make double sure you do this for them.

GGG

Signature

To contact me: GGGNH@yahoo.com

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tbd - 26 Apr 2007 17:00 GMT

> In article <1176957866.843496.40...@b75g2000hsg.googlegroups.com>,
>
[quoted text clipped - 34 lines]
>
> - Show quoted text -

Have you ever broached this subject with your husband while he is
sober? I'm sure you probably have, but if he is drinking every day,
perhaps going out and "having drinks with the friends" is not such a
good idea. It sounds like he does have a bit of a problem and there
may be a reason he's drinking. Maybe you 2 can work on the issue
together. GGG may be right, you may need a counselor or he may need
to go get help....or both. I'm betting that he wasn't always a drunk
or you wouldn't have married him. Maybe you can convince him to let
up a bit or even work towards quitting if he can't control it. I
wouldn't give up too fast on your marriage. You said you have kids
and your marriage is probably more important to them than you
realize. I won't throw a lot of Bible verses at you, though I am a
Christian. I think it is important to make God the cornerstone of
your relationship. If it weren't for Him, my wife and I may not be
together right now. She has a horrible temper and I don't. I can't
stand it when she gets angry and it really gets me upset that my
little girl hears the things that she says...and the anger is usually
over something relatively small. It has been through prayer that I
have been able to get through some of the tough times. I'm not good
at bringing the "big" issues up because I hate to argue with her and
usually it inevitably turns into one. I don't want to paint her up as
a witch or anything, it is just an area she needs to work on. I have
many, many faults of my own that I need to address. Anyway, I don't
know that I've given very good advice, but I wouldn't throw anything
away just yet, not until you are absolutely sure that's what you want
because you could get to a point that is too far to turn back and you
might be sorry...and like I said, your kids will be affected by
whatever decision you make.

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Family Forum / Marriage / Divorce / April 2007

just wanna talk