 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
Family Forum / Marriage / Divorce / May 2007How do you know you're over them?
I left in Jan. 2003. I've dated several women between then and now, broke one good heart that wasn't mine, all the while trying to get another woman's taste out of my mouth. Finally, this past January, four years to the date, I finally "got over her." How do I know? Because I can finally kiss another woman. That good, deep-down kissing, not the nibbles and pecks I'd been serving up for forty-eight months. Because I see a future without "her" in it. This future doesn't shock me, scare me, or depress me. I'm a little ambivalent about it all, but at least I'm not pining over someone who no longer exists. Because seeing her with another guy doesn't particularly bother me. I'm a little jealous, heck yeah, but I'm not a nutcase. He comes to my son's baseball games, goes on trips with her... blah blah blah, they're a couple. That doesn't keep me up at night. Because I don't get aroused when I see her. The woman who aroused me disappeared over four years ago. The woman she is now has changed in both body and spirit -- my young love is gone, vaporized, as existent in my world as if I was lappy-dogging for Kirsten Dunst (mmmm, yummy, oh to be Spider-Man!). Because when I think of her, I wonder what I saw before. I see some if it, sure, and I'll always love her, but I also see the reasons why it didn't work, and wonder why I was so hypnotized before. Ah well. She's a great girl, we just threw sparks when rubbed together. God, she hated me... Because when I talk about "her" I feel kinda silly, now. I hear myself saying things, and I think, "Okay, dude, seriously, that's enough, gotta let that sh.t go." I don't even post here like I used to -- not much left to say, really... Because I finally accept it. I'm not pissed, not depressed. I simply ~am~. I've asked God a million times what happened, what I did wrong, why why why, and His only response has been a blank stare and this Mona Lisa half-smile -- He knows, but He's not talking. So I quit asking. Because I've felt this way for a few months, now, and not just a few days or weeks. I'm still a little up-and-down, but something like 80% up. Not bad! Because I can finally say: "That's enough about 'her'. Let's talk about something else..." - Saul who are you trying to convince ? bogey > I left in Jan. 2003. I've dated several women between then and now, > broke one good heart that wasn't mine, all the while trying to get [quoted text clipped - 49 lines] > > - Saul > who are you trying to convince ? > > bogey Yep, guess some day you do get there. I'm still stuck in the pining for her part. Heck, I'm still trying to figure out how to get her back. :) > > who are you trying to convince ? > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > for her part. Heck, I'm still trying to figure out how to get her > back. :) I hope I get to that stage someday. She moved out on me almost a year ago and I don't think I could see her with someone else. I would get upset if she showed up with someone else at our son's baseball games. To me it would be like he took my place and I don't know why. I also gave up trying to get her back because I know it would never work again. So I'm between letting her go and not willing to take her back > Let's talk about something else..." It would have been more believable without a full page of well thought out "because's."  SignatureSD:) and S.D. made the comment... >It would have been more believable without a full page of well thought >out "because's." When hasn't he been a little on the verbose side? Besides, its not like what we think of it really matters. Some people don't get over it and then shove it down our throats. Just shows that there are a lot of different types of people in the world. > Just shows that there are a lot of different types of people > in the world. There are a great many types of people and cultures in this wonderful world; and my profession faces me with many. But, it sounds as though you're justifying what appears to be to be unhealthy behavior; right some don't let go until they can plug in someone new. SignatureSD:) > I left in Jan. 2003. I've dated several women between then and now, > broke one good heart that wasn't mine, all the while trying to get [quoted text clipped - 49 lines] > > - Saul I say good going Saul. Your stories have helped me through my seperation and divorce and I have now moved on. I'm glad you have to. Yes I still love him but I can also see him with other women and be fine with it. I do love him and parts of him but like you I wonder what why we didn't seperate a long time ago. I found someone new, God only knows if it will work out or not but I'm happy and that's all that matters. Again, Thanks Saul for all your stories and help along the way. I actually have a journal at home with your stories that I used to get out and read when I wondered what the hell went wrong with my life. You are the best and I only hope the best for you. Hi, I'm "over" my ex... but that doesn't mean I don't like her as a friend. I'm happy she's dating a bit (if for no other reason that she's NOT finding someone) I'm happy she's managing to KEEP her job. I'm happy we still have sex from time to time. I'm happy my GF of a year does me 10-15 times a week (I'm a VERY LUCKY MAN) Divorce has been good to me (other than that first month of post separation hell) > I left in Jan. 2003. I've dated several women between then and now, > broke one good heart that wasn't mine, all the while trying to get [quoted text clipped - 49 lines] > > - Saul SignatureTo live outside the law, you must be honest. (Bob Dylan - Absolutely Sweet Marie - Blonde on Blonde - 1966) Sometimes I don't think we get over them %100. We just deal with it a little better over time . >I left in Jan. 2003. I've dated several women between then and now, > broke one good heart that wasn't mine, all the while trying to get [quoted text clipped - 49 lines] > > - Saul > Sometimes I don't think we get over them %100. > We just deal with it a little better over time . The pain loses its passion. Other events become more important. Does the memory ever go away as if it didn't happen ? No. Can we be happy again ? Yes. Would we ever want to be with the person again ? Well in my case, not even if hell froze over, I'm not so stupid. Is there value in suffering ? Yes. From it we learn and are able to understand others and ourselves more and our lives are richer. Different, but richer. bogey saulgoode said > I left in Jan. 2003. I've dated several women between then and now, > broke one good heart that wasn't mine, all the while trying to get [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > in my world as if I was lappy-dogging for Kirsten Dunst (mmmm, yummy, > oh to be Spider-Man!). Sounds like you're finally there, dude. It's a great feeling ... I remember it well. It was a big relief to me when it happened about 5 years ago. Congratulations! Casey |
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2010 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.