Family Forum / Parenting / Adoption / February 2009

Hello all,

I am not where to post my question, so I guess I will try in here?? I
have a quick question that needs to be answered ASAP.

Basically, my question is, what is the rule for leaving Foster kids at
home unattended by themselves?? Can foster kids be left alone by
themselves, and if so, do they have to be a specific age??

My neighbors recently became Foster Parents about 4 months ago. They
currently have a young boy living with them in their home. I don't know
his exact age, but I do know that he is in elementary school, and looks
to be about in the 4th, 5th or 6th grade.

His foster mom works at night on the second shift, from 3pm to 11pm, and
he stays at home with the foster dad who doesn't work at all and is home
24/7 because of his supposed "bad back".  

Anyway last night, the foster mom was at work. It was around 9:30 pm at
night, and I was out on my porch letting my cat inside for the night,
when I noticed my neighbor ( the foster dad ), backing out of his
driveway 80 miles an hour and driving away in the car toward the store
by himself. He left his foster son all alone in the house unsupervised!!

He returned about 10 minutes later, speeding back in the driveway like
100 miles an hour, and got out with a pack of cigarettes in his hand. He
left the foster boy alone for ABOUT 10 minutes, so that he could go get
his smokes at the convenience store at the end of our street.

So is this neglect?? I know that he wasn't gone for that long ( roughly
10 minutes ), and that the convenience store is only right at the end of
the street, but what if there was an emergency?? What if there was a
fire? Or what if the boy was on medication, and had a seizure or
something?

I am sure he left while his foster son was sleeping because it was
9:30pm at night, so the boy probably had no idea he was even gone.

But this is NOT the first time that he has left kids unattended in his
house while ONLY he was watching them!!!

Back in the summer of 2008, he did the same thing, only this time it was
around 10am or 11am in the morning. He did the same exact thing. His
wife was gone, and he went to the convenience store at the end of the
street, to get his cigarettes while leaving his 3 year old, as well as 1
year old GRANDDAUGHTERS in the house BY THEMSELVES with NO SUPERVISION
while he was gone for about 10 minutes that time as well.

I even confronted him about this, and asked him WHY did he leave his 3
year old and 1 year old granddaughters alone in the house while he went
to get his cigarettes?? I asked him, "What if there was a fire or
emergency in the house" while he was gone!? He refused to answer, and
all he said was, "I love my grandkids!!".

So is this possible neglect?? Should this guy have a right to be a
foster parent?? Should I report him to Social Services for possible
child neglect?? Is it okay for a 4th, 5th, or 6th grade AGED foster
child to be left alone in the house for 10 minutes, while he goes down
to the end of the street to get his precious smokes??

I am sure that his wife has no idea, that he does this, and that if I
report him to DSS, it will be his word against mine, and that there is
no proof.

But actually there may be a way of getting proof. All DSS has to do is
get a copy of the tape from the convenience stores camera from last
night, of him walking into the store by himself at 9:30pm at night to
buy his pack of cigarettes.

Don't convenience stores usually keep tapes, incase of crimes?? But I
don't know how long they keep them for??

If he says that his wife was at home with the foster boy, DSS can just
call her company and talk to someone in the payroll department, and
confirm that she was at work to 11pm.

But he might just say that the kid was in the car waiting for him, while
he ran in to get his smokes??  

I thought about calling the police when he did this last night, but by
time the police would have arrived, he most likely would already
returned home, and he would have denied the whole thing of course!!

Why couldn't he call his wife at work, and tell her to bring him home a
pack of cigarettes for him, sense it was already 9:30pm, and she gets
home at 11pm??          

The other question is, how many times has he done this so far, that I
haven't seen him leave the foster boy home alone unattended, and is he
just going to keep on doing it??

I saw him the first time when he did it in the summer, when he left his
3 year old, and 1 year old granddaughters alone in the house by
themselves for 10 minutes while he went to get his smokes, because I was
working outside in my yard.

And last night I saw him do it again, because I just so happened to be
out on my porch letting my cat in. But how many other times has he done
this that I haven't noticed??

Maybe he's a good grandfather and foster dad!? Maybe he will win
grandfather and foster dad of the year for 2009, who knows!? I just
don't think that he should be leaving these kids completely unattended
in the house by themselves, even if its only for 5-10 minutes to go to
the end of the street to get a pack of cigarettes!!

It leads me to ask, does he really care about the foster children that
he brings into his home, or does he only care about the free money,
foodstamps, and other benefits that he gets from the state every month
for being a foster parent?????

So, is what he did last night child neglect?? Should he be reported to
DSS??

Please let me know ASAP??

Any info. will greatly be appreciated!!

Thanks!