 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
Family Forum / Parenting / Parenting / October 2008facial piercings on young teens
Am I an old fogie at age 31? I keep having this shocked feeling when I find out 13 and 14 year olds that I know are having their lips, tongues, navels and/or noses pierced. Is this just normal now-a-days and I am behind the times, or what? This is not a case of my being a prude or uptight about the idea; I've had tattoos and some piercings, but I was an adult, not a 13 year old. To me there is quite a large difference in an adult and a 13/14 year old having something like that done.  SignatureMarie ~The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.~ Ralph W. Sockman > Am I an old fogie at age 31? I keep having this shocked feeling when I > find out 13 and 14 year olds that I know are having their lips, tongues, > navels and/or noses pierced. Is this just normal now-a-days and I am > behind the times, or what? I haven't noticed it being common here (and heck, I'm down in Sin City while you're up there with the snake handlers.) I'm not counting multiple ear piercings - that doesn't seem unusual among teenagers. I'm also not counting a nose piercing in a girl from a culture where that's common (Indian, say). I don't know that I've seen it in a 13-year-old, but if I saw a girl who obviously was of Indian/Pakistani heritage, I'm sure I wouldn't think twice about it if she had a nose piercing. > This is not a case of my being a prude or uptight about the idea; I've > had tattoos and some piercings, but I was an adult, not a 13 year old. > To me there is quite a large difference in an adult and a 13/14 year old > having something like that done. Besides, if you let them get facial piercings when they're 13, what are you going to fight about? Clisby > I haven't noticed it being common here (and heck, I'm down in Sin City > while you're up there with the snake handlers.) Snake handlers LOL I'm in the Greenville area actually. But I know what you mean. I'm not counting > multiple ear piercings - that doesn't seem unusual among teenagers. I'm > also not counting a nose piercing in a girl from a culture where that's > common (Indian, say). I don't know that I've seen it in a 13-year-old, > but if I saw a girl who obviously was of Indian/Pakistani heritage, I'm > sure I wouldn't think twice about it if she had a nose piercing. I had multiple ear piercings also, but I did those myself when I was 14. These girls I am seeing aren't pierced for cultural reasons. One of them is my cousin and her best friend, her mother doesn't understand what people see wrong with it. Then last night I ran into a family we used to live next to when all our kids were toddlers. Now they are teenagers with tongue and lip rings and pretty questionable reputations. After looking at the 13 year old's myspace, with pictures of her and her boyfriend with tongues down each other's throats, I am getting a sense that it involved a very lax-to-nonexistent parenting attitude. > Besides, if you let them get facial piercings when they're 13, what are > you going to fight about? Ugh, yeah. My oldest is 13 and so far there's not been any big fights about anything. I've been enjoying this time, besides the moodmonster popping up occasionally. Marie >> I haven't noticed it being common here (and heck, I'm down in Sin City >> while you're up there with the snake handlers.) > > Snake handlers LOL I'm in the Greenville area actually. But I know what > you mean. You might appreciate this, from a local blog (click on the map for a better view): http://xark.typepad.com/my_weblog/charleston/index.html Clisby > You might appreciate this, from a local blog (click on the map for a > better view): > > http://xark.typepad.com/my_weblog/charleston/index.html That was really cute! Knuckle draggers and mouth-breathers for sure! I'll have to save that one. A few houses down from me lives the Jerry Springer family. I've watched this huge bald guy chase another guy down the street, yelling that he never come back. Very entertaining. Marie > Am I an old fogie at age 31? I keep having this shocked feeling when I > find out 13 and 14 year olds that I know are having their lips, tongues, [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > there is quite a large difference in an adult and a 13/14 year old having > something like that done. One of the things when I was growing up, was that basically the reputable places wouldn't do non-ear piercing for under 16s (and ear piercing only with an adult). So anyone under that age that had it pierced had gone to one of the backstreet tattoo places where they didn't ask too many questions-and the hygene was supect. As far as I'm aware (and I haven't researched this) this is still the case in the UK. I know of a few 17/18yo with piercings, but not noticed many obviously under age around. Debbie > One of the things when I was growing up, was that basically the reputable > places wouldn't do non-ear piercing for under 16s (and ear piercing only [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > obviously under age around. > Debbie The piercing studios here will do it with a parent's permission. When my husband had his tattoo/piercing shop though, he did not do any type of work on minors, even with parent's permission. Marie >> Am I an old fogie at age 31? I keep having this shocked feeling when I >> find out 13 and 14 year olds that I know are having their lips, tongues, [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > obviously under age around. > Debbie I think this is an unfair statement about hygene and all that. Here at an actual piercing shop, the norm for piercings is around 14-16. It has been a couple years since I've walked into a shop, though. With a parent or guardian's permission, it can be younger. I also know that there's certain situations where they won't do it until 18. Something like a tongue, genitals, bla bla bla. Or with parents' permission - although I am not sure, but I think a piercing in certain places is 18+, no matter what (I believe they're piercings like a Prince Albert or something ;) lol) A number of years back, I had a few other piercings. At one point, I had my eyebrown, labret, lip and tongue done, along with 2 in each of my ears. I now no longer have the labret and lip due to tooth/gum damage as a direct result of the piercings. I also have my ears at a 0ga on the bottom lobes and about 4ga on the top holes on my lobes. I was, I believe, 16 when I had my tongue and lip done. 17 or 18 with my labret. 18 or 19 with my eyebrow. For all of them when I was under 18, I did need parental consent. I went to a reputable shop with full health inspections and it was not dirty. Maybe kids will be kids, or teens will be monsters, but I managed to get by the "parental consent" by bringing a "signed" letter from my "mom"... which was actually a letter a friend wrote and signed and gave HER phone number for in case the shop wanted to contact my "mom" to double check for the permission thing. They did call ;) and my friend/mom said yes, I had permission. I think with piercings, the one good thing is that they aren't permanent. My labret and lip are both fully grown over. If I keep my eyebrown barbell out for any length of time, it does start to grow over. That's the good thing about piercings - they can still grow over and be gone. I know I'd be pissed off if my child came home with piercings. I also do know that I would get over it. It's not permanent. I also am pretty sure that my anger wouldn't be from the actual piercing itself, but more because I said no, I said wait, we didn't discuss this, you went behind my back, etc.,if this was the case. If one came home with a tattoo, however, I'd literally flip out and I would NOT get over it. Tattoos are permanent and there pretty much for good. I really would lose it with a tattoo. Oh, and neither of my girls - now 2 and 3 - have their ears pierced. This is something I feel strongly about to wait until their old enough to make their own decision about an actually ask to have their ears pierced - and will do that if and when they are old enough to ask. > Am I an old fogie at age 31? I keep having this shocked feeling when I find > out 13 and 14 year olds that I know are having their lips, tongues, navels [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > there is quite a large difference in an adult and a 13/14 year old having > something like that done. My kids are 1, 3, and 5 now. If, when they are teenagers, my children want to go out of their way to look ugly and endanger their health (Google "piercings infections"), they should find another place to live. >> Am I an old fogie at age 31? I keep having this shocked feeling when I find >> out 13 and 14 year olds that I know are having their lips, tongues, navels [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >(Google "piercings infections"), they should find another place to >live. Oh help. I hope by the time they get to be teenagers they have softened you up a bit. You are entirely too dogmatic to be a parent of a teen. My son got an ear pierced when he was in HS. He also got a permanent (he's the only one of the four with straight hair). He soon discovered on his own that the permanent was more trouble than it was worth, and the earring went bye bye too. Neither dh nor I have ever had a piercing. Some of my girls have pierced ears and so did my mom for awhile. It works better for valuable earrings to have pierced ears, but there are some sports (cross country on horseback) where it is dangerous. DD#2 had a belly button done, but she had some operations (gallstones removed for one) where they had to take it out and she didn't have it put back. She and her dh also have tattoos, but they are old enough (age 45) to decide I guess. I don't get stressed out about it. My oldest grandson (age 28) has a big snake or something tattooed on his arm. At least that's what I can see beyond his clothing. I do know what a Prince Albert is. When I lost a dive camera in Cozumel (I had it clipped to my BCD and someone offered to take my photo with it - when I got it back, I didn't get it clipped back on right and it floated away), my dh threatened to have my nipple pierced so we could attach it to that. <joke> > >> Am I an old fogie at age 31? I keep having this shocked feeling when I find > >> out 13 and 14 year olds that I know are having their lips, tongues, navels [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > pierced ears, but there are some sports (cross country on horseback) where it is > dangerous. Did you really think I was talking about girls getting their ears pierced? I have nothing against that. People piercing their tongues etc., or boys trying to look girls I do have a problem with. Am I too "dogmatic", or are too many American parents pushovers? >> >> Am I an old fogie at age 31? I keep having this shocked feeling when I find >> >> out 13 and 14 year olds that I know are having their lips, tongues, navels [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] >etc., or boys trying to look girls I do have a problem with. Am I too >"dogmatic", or are too many American parents pushovers? You will (or should0 have many more important things to worry about when yours are in HS other than minor details of appearance. >id you really think I was talking about girls getting their ears >pierced? I have nothing against that. People piercing their tongues >etc, or boys trying to look girls I do have a problem with. Am I too >dogmatic", or are too many American parents pushovers? If your kid really wants to get their tongue pierced, they will manage to do it without your knowledge and consent, and they will also succeed in concealing it from you for a very long time - especially if you are very forbidding and a hardass about such things. "Boys trying to look girls" , do you mean boys trying to look LIKE girls or look AT girls? >> id you really think I was talking about girls getting their ears >> pierced? I have nothing against that. People piercing their tongues [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > concealing it from you for a very long time - especially if you are very > forbidding and a hardass about such things. It can get worse. If they get a piercing, and there is a problem with it, they will endeavor to hide the problem from you, possibly until it is to late to solve it easily. SignaturePenny Gaines UK mum to three > >id you really think I was talking about girls getting their ears > >pierced? I have nothing against that. People piercing their tongues [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > concealing it from you for a very long time - especially if you are very > forbidding and a hardass about such things. There are health risks with getting one's tongue pierced. The desire to get attention in such a disfiguring way probably indicates deeper problems. I have three kids, close in age. If the eldest behaves stupidly, he not only harms himself but sets a bad example for his siblings. Neither my wife nor I gave our parents much trouble as teenagers. We focused on doing well in school, which is why we both have good jobs now. I grew up in the U.S., and she grew up in India. Even if parts of the culture around is freakish in some ways, we don't intend to change our standards of acceptable behavior. Forget about something permanent like a tongue piercing. I would be really unhappy with my sons if they wore their hair too long or dyed it blue. > "Boys trying to look girls" , do you mean boys trying to look LIKE girls or > look AT girls? Like girls, see above. >> >id you really think I was talking about girls getting their ears >> >pierced? I have nothing against that. People piercing their tongues [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] >Neither my wife nor I gave our parents much trouble as teenagers. We >focused on doing well in school, which is why we both have good jobs You do realize of course that almost all hairstyles were originally thought of as horrible. That includes the crewcut. >now. I grew up in the U.S., and she grew up in India. Even if parts of >the culture around is freakish in some ways, we don't intend to change >our standards of acceptable behavior. Forget about something permanent >like a tongue piercing. I would be really unhappy with my sons if they >wore their hair too long or dyed it blue. I found it very hard to rebel against my parents because my mom was usually right about things, and in my head I knew that, but it was irritating. I often did things I was forbidden to do or that I knew that my parents would not approve of - as did my kids. I remember running away from home when I was about 5 just because it sounded like fun. My mom told me not to go out on the roof of our porch (our bedroom had three windows over the porch roof) and I did. All children rebel against their parents in some way - it's part of growing up. Girls maybe a little less and with them it may be dating a person that the parents don't approve of (often with good reason). The problem usually comes when the parents are too strict and don't allow any individual expression at which point the child does something permanently disabling or disfiguring. Like the girl gets pregnant or runs away from home with the guy. Tattoos are mostly permanent as someone pointed out. The idea as a parent is to be disapproving of whatever they are doing without withdrawing love. Letting them try things out on their own while you are still there to rescue them, and letting them do stuff that isn't dangerous or permanent. And I would think that kicking them out of the house because of a piercing is removing that safety net that they need in order to grow up as responsible adults. >> "Boys trying to look girls" , do you mean boys trying to look LIKE girls or >> look AT girls? > >Like girls, see above. Dying the hair blue or having it long is a REALLY MINOR problem. Types of hair manipulation are easily fixed. Blue hair will grow out - long hair can be cut. Piercings will heal over (unless there's infection) My ds had his hair quite long and got a permanent in it. DH has always had a military haircut and did not really approve of long hair. But he didn't come all over the stern father and forbid it, and eventually our ds cut his hair because it was too much trouble. I do have a video tape of him at the Talent Show at the HS and he's wearing aqua spandex!!! (He's the singer in the band and he's jumping on and off the stage and stuff like that. I showed the tape to his children and they thought it was hilarious.) >>> id you really think I was talking about girls getting their ears >>> pierced? I have nothing against that. People piercing their tongues [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > like a tongue piercing. I would be really unhappy with my sons if they > wore their hair too long or dyed it blue. Why would a tongue piercing be permanent? Tattoos certainly are, though apparently they are working on 10 year ink. But any piece of jewelery can be removed. >> "Boys trying to look girls" , do you mean boys trying to look LIKE >> girls or look AT girls? > > Like girls, see above. On Oct 29, 11:11 pm, "dejablues" <dejabl...@comcast.net> wrote: > "Beliavsky" <beliav...@aol.com> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > concealing it from you for a very long time - especially if you are very > forbidding and a hardass about such things. >There are health risks with getting one's tongue pierced. Oh, I know that. I am all about healthy teeth, and mouth piercings are a dental nightmare (enamel erosion, gum disease, etc) The desire >to get attention in such a disfiguring way probably indicates deeper >problems. No, it's normal. Teenagers don't think that far ahead, just like they think they will never die. I have three kids, close in age. If the eldest behaves >stupidly, he not only harms himself but sets a bad example for his >siblings. See above. You might think this, but older children rarely take their younger siblings into account when making decisions. Children are inherently selfish and siblings fight and compete to get ahead in the family pecking order. >Neither my wife nor I gave our parents much trouble as teenagers. We >focused on doing well in school, which is why we both have good jobs >now. That could be luck and/or the result of social status of your parents. Why do you and your wife have "good jobs" while some Indian-Americans work at Subway? >I grew up in the U.S., and she grew up in India. Even if parts of >the culture around is freakish in some ways, we don't intend to change >our standards of acceptable behavior. Forget about something permanent >like a tongue piercing. I would be really unhappy with my sons if they >wore their hair too long or dyed it blue. You'd be unhappy - so what? Would long blue hair stop them from getting into Princeton? |
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2010 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.