Family Forum / Parenting / Parenting / July 2004

    That may not reflect the amount she's eating.  It may
be that she's just very focused on getting fed and getting back
to sleep at that time.  She might be getting a full "meal"
rather than just a "snack."

    No telling.  Some give it up early, others (mine included)
give it up *much* later (mine took a 1 am feed until they were
15 months old).

    My experience is that she likely is hungry
and you'd have a devil of a time getting rid of this
feeding before she's ready to give it up.  If she's
sleeping that long that young (she really is going a
remarkably long stretch for just 3 months), she's
undoubtedly having several episodes of cycling to
wakefulness and putting herself back to sleep during
the night, so it's not likely that she's just nursing
because she doesn't know any other way to get back to
sleep.  I'd consider myself lucky and run with it, if
I were you.

    Are you not trying to nap her in her crib?  I
would certainly put her in her crib, since it appears
she sleeps there beautifully other times.  Also, you
may be waiting too long to put her down.  At only 3 months,
I wouldn't go more than 2 hours without offering a nap.
When babies get overtired, it's much more difficult for
them to get to sleep.

Best wishes,
Ericka

My daughter stopped waking for a nighttime feed when she was about 10
months old.  My son was about 2 years old when he stopped.  I would
definitely expect aq 3-month-old baby to wake up for at least one feed.
  I'd probably *expect* it for the first year, although not all babies,
including my first, seem to need it.

Sure, since she sleeps well in the crib, I'd try that for naps.  FWIW,
my 2nd child wouldn't nap well in anything but a swing until he was
about 6 months old.  I have no idea why, since he slept well in his crib
at night.

Clisby

my breast fed kids got a feed at around 10 or so at night and then again
at 4 until they were about 6 months old.  They were never a problem at
night but they needed the night feeding for quite awhile

naps are highly individual per baby -- if you think she is getting
overtired and cranky then try to nap her more -- but they really do
differ a lot on that

and all this stuff is over before you know it and 'problems' often just
sort of resolve themselves with time -- if your baby is sleeping as long
as you indicate with only that one feed -- you are getting a lot more
uninterupted night time than most people do -- be happy

Abi wrote on 7/15/2004 3:35 AM:

Can't really help you since my son was one of the rare ones who slept
through the night from 4 weeks.

There is absolutely no problem between putting her in her cot for naps
as well as bedtime.  She won't get confused and try to sleep for 6
hours.  Learn to watch for her tired signals - my son is an eye rubber,
but today, for instance, he didn't rub his eyes but he was very quiet
and staring into space.  He was asleep within a couple of minutes of
putting him down.

After a few weeks of being careful to notice her sleep signals, you'll
get a feel for how long she can last without a nap.  Don't try to go by
the book since every baby is different (my son was taking 3-4 naps a day
when the books said he should only be having 2).  I know, for instance,
that my son should be put down about 2 hours after he gets up in the
morning and then about 4-5 hours after he wakes up at lunchtime (if he
doesn't signal earlier).  It really helps while I'm running errands
knowing how long we can be out or that I should schedule a long walk
through the park or at the mall with his stroller at a certain time so
he can nap.

What will really help is establishing a routine for naps and bedtime.
For a young baby, keep it simple.  What I do is to lay my son down and
sing him a song (if he's fussy I'll go through the whole repetoire).
He's an older baby, so he also has special toys that are only for the
crib and a super-fuzzy blanket my mom made that he has latched onto
(unsure if it qualifies as a lovey or not).  He also only gets his
pacifier in the crib.  What you're trying to do overall is to create
signals that say "time to relax and go to sleep".

My problem was that I kept him swaddled far longer than I should have
because he was such an active sleeper.  Once he could easily get out of
his swaddling (we did it loosely), he had trouble learning to go to
sleep by himself and staying asleep (plus he fights naps like you
wouldn't believe).  I struggled with that for a month, then realized
that he needed a routine.  In two weeks he's gone from taking 15-30
minutes to fuss himself to sleep to going down in under 5 minutes
without a peep from the monitor once I leave.  =)

I don't know if this book is available where you are but I love the book
_The No-Cry Sleep Solution_ by Elizabeth Pantley.  It has a lot of good
tips for problem sleepers.

Good luck!

- Joanne
  DS Ian 8 mos

I would say that you are pretty lucky that she sleeps as long as she
does!  I think that (especially at three months) she probably is
waking up because she's hungry and then eating only enough to fill up
a little.  My daughter is 7 months, and she still will wake up during
the night occasionally.
As for the daytime, I usually sleep with my daughter in my bed.  Or at
least I lie down with her until she's asleep and then surround her
with pillows (not too close to her mind you, just as a buffer), and
then check on her every 2-5 minutes.  I know that this is frowned on
by a lot of people, but it works for us, and she never has a problem
sleeping in her crib at night.
Could it be that you are just missing your daughter's "window"?  If I
don't get my DD down by her second or third yawn, its nearly
impossible to get her to sleep.  Just a thought.
Good Luck

Oh My God. I would have KILLED for this! (Sorry. I am calm now.)

At this age, IMO what you have going on is gravy. Personally, I would not
mess with it. Even if she does not need the food, per se, which is unlikely
maybe she needs the love and contact. If you try to push her toward
independence before she is ready, you may get MORE demands for wake ups, not
less. If I had to guess, if she is already sleeping this much at night, she
will give up the 4:00am feed soonish.

I definitely put my dd and ds down for naps.

I agree (and said to myself as I read your post) with all that has
been said here.  However, I do want to add a little more to the topic.
My son is 4 months old.  How is your daughters behavoir during the
day?  Do you think she is getting full enough when she eats?  I
breastfeed my son for 3 weeks but finally decided that I must not be
producing enough milk. *sobs*  I put him on formula and for awhile we
were okay.  But then that changed also.  He was not getting full on
eight ounces of formula alone.  He was constantly irritable, never
slept for more than 2 hours at a time.  At night he would sleep about
4 hours.  If you breastfeed you need to ask yourself those questions
and consider supplementing with formula or feeding formula alone (as
you may not be producing enough milk).  (I hate to say this because I
am all for breastfeeding.)  But in the best interest of our children
we need to do what is necessary for their continued growth and
development.  If you currently formula feed you may need to consider
supplementing with cereal.  I hope this helps a little.  Good luck and
Congratulations!!

Randa

"Abi" <earlycomputers@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message

Is >there any way I can help or not to want this or does she actually
physically >need this feed because of her age?

I think to most people, this would be a heavenly schedule for a baby that
young. FWIW, my babies were waking up to eat in the middle of the night
until they were about 8-9 months old. I do think a baby this young still
needs to eat in the middle of the night. I had great sleepers, but like I
said they were still needing to eat at that age. Remember that her stomach
is the size of her fist and cannot really hold that much food at a time.

I put my babies to sleep in the bassinet when they were still sleeping in it
(they stayed there in my room until about six months or so). And then when
they transitioned to their crib in their own room, I put them in their crib
for naps during the day. I am a huge believer in white noise (like a fan) or
soft music playing and have had wonderful success in keeping my kids asleep
for naps.

I think that if you started a flexible routine and make it the same routine
for naps that she has good naps during the day, she won't be overtired at
the end of the day. It has been my experience that if babies sleep good
during the day, then they sleep much better and longer at night.