Family Forum / Parenting / Parenting / September 2005

No real advice for weaning her off but I'd say it's usual for a 17 month
child to pronounce things incorrectly. I don't really think you an blame the
dummy for that. I know that #2 (23 months) can't say ssssssss sound very
well. Her favourite word is "disappeared" at the moment and she pronounces
it "d'pp-ee-ra", for example.
If it was me, and she only used one for sleeping, I'd leave it until she's
older and can understand better. I imagine it depends on the child as to
whether it's easier now or later. I know one child who aged 3.5 handed her
dummy to pay for a watch and went from using it a lot (during day as well as
night) to not asking at all. She may just be waking in the night and needing
it to go back to sleep with rather than needing it all night.
Debbie

    I don't know.  I had dedicated plug suckers and I didn't
choose to do anything about it until around 3 years old.  It
affected their teeth slightly while they were using the plug,
but the teeth realigned rather quickly after they stopped and
they have no dental issues as older kids related to plug use.
None of them lisped, though.

    I think traumatized is a very strong word.  On the
other hand, she is using it as a way to self-comfort, and
*personally*, I think it's not very nice to yank one comfort
measure if she doesn't have another to use in its place.
Does she have a blanky or anything else that she can
use for comfort?  If not, you might consider introducing
something before removing the plug.

    She might.  She's less likely to if she has another
comfort measure that works for her.

    I don't think she's too young in the abstract, but
only you can decide whether the timing is good for her
personally.

    Yes and no.  She may be more attached to it, but she'll
also be more capable of understanding a discussion about it
and so you'll have more techniques available short of removing
it and dealing with the fallout.

    I think this is a tough age to get rid of a pacifier.
Earlier and it's fairly easy to just get rid of it.  Later,
and you can use the "dummy fairy" ploys you mention, or just
have a "no more pacifier" day (maybe with party) and go cold
turkey.  Right now, it's a bit of a challenge to do it easily.
Of course, worst case scenario is you go cold turkey and have
a few sleepless nights, but it should get better after that.
You can also try breaking the pacifiers.  If you put a hole
in them (cut an "X" in the top), they don't work as well.
You could just "break" one every few nights until they're
all gone and refuse to replace them.

Best wishes,
Ericka

My 1st child refused a pacifier and sucked her thumb.  My second child
was extremely attached to the pacifier and didn't talk much at about 2
years old.  Her older sister with interpret.  Younger sister would
grunt and point.  Older sister would say "She wants some milk".  I
never worried about it, and today she talks fine - will talk your ear
off actually.  Mouth constantly in motion.  I don't remember actually
weaning her from it.  It was gone by the time she was 3.

The younger two children (dd#3 and ds) both had pacifiers, and ds was
bf until he was 3.  DD#3 had her pacifier snatched by a raccoon at the
Audubon society zoo - he reached through the bars and grabbed it.  She
was about 2.  She gave a wail, but I decided that she didn't really
need it anymore, and she got along fine without it - she wasn't really
using it much by then anyway.

So I would say that the people who say it will be harder when she is
older are wrong, and I don't see any reason to take it away if she's
only using it in bed.  If she wakes in the night, let her find it
herself.   That may work for weaning too.

grandma Rosalie

DD was about 2 when we started weaning her from her binkys.  I hadn't
wanted her to suck either binkys or her thumb but she had other plans.
I figured it woudl be easier to lose a binky than a thumb.  She had a
big binky habit.  I remember seeing her sitting in the middle of the
floor with one in her mouth and one in each and a look of pure bliss on
her face.

At about two we decide to start limited the binky use.  We told her that
binkys were for night night and they had to stay in her room.  We kept a
baby gate on her door since her room was on the second floor.  When we
would get her up in the morning she would meet us at the door.  We would
say what did you forget and she would throw her binky down and reach up
to us.  If one happened to get out in the house and she found it we
would ask her if she needed to go night night.  She would usually throw
it down or take it to her room.  She gradually lost them or they wore
out.  When her last one broke she threw it out herself.  We had a few
rough nights but she hasn't looked back.  She had spent several nights
at her grandparents and hadn't used it so we knew that it wasn't a
complete dependence.

Oh also at 6 she talks a mile a minute.  She has a large vocabulary and
can be understood most of the time.  She does lisp her s a little but
then so did I.  Also she was tongue tied as a baby and had to have her
tongue clipped so that mey be part of it.

I poked a hole in DS's pacifier when he was about 2yo and he figured they
didn't work anymore and stopped using them pretty much right away with no
fuss.  The problem was, he had been a good sleeper up until he tossed the
pacifier and then he couldn't sleep at all.  DH made me go buy some new
pacifiers.  He kept them until he was 3 yo and then DH and he had a
discussion and they agreed he was getting too old for them and he gave them
up.

   The more I hear people say this about seemingly everything,
the more I question it as a reason to take action.  Or maybe it's
the idea that just because it might be "easy" means that it
therefore, to some, also makes sense developmentally.
I don't know, but something isn't right.

   Anyway, it might be hard at any time, or it might be
quite easy.  It depends on the kid.  It *sounds* like it would
be tough for your kid at this stage, based upon your brief
description.

   I don't think so.

   I doubt it.  But it could be a very difficult, depending
on how attached she is.

   Maybe, but they don't go hand in hand.  Both my kids
used pacifiers, but didn't take to thumbsucking.

   When my child was about your age, we negotiated a
sleep-time only policy for it, to lessen usage.  That worked
out fine.  At three years, she still uses it for nighttime sleep.
She sleeps so well that I've not seen any reason to force it away.
My 8.5 month old child, however, gave his up two months
ago and has shown no interest in going back.  So, I'm a
proponent of going by the lead of the child.

                                                       P. Tierney

If I was you I wouldn't bother weaning her off it at all.

My babies used dummies (pacifiers) as tiny babies but lost interest in them
before they were six months old.  I think if you introduce a comfort object
to your child you then should allow the child to decide when she doesn't
need it any more. The pacifier is unlikely to be affecting your daughter's
teeth or her speech and it helps her sleep.

I see her asking for it in the night as equivalent to another child asking
for their teddy or losing their "blankey" in the dark and needing someone to
find it. You wouldn't take a teddy away from a toddler, would you?

Tai