Family Forum / Parenting / Parenting / January 2006

You are implying that spending time in activities with a father creates a
strong bond.  Surely what creates a strong bond is feeling loved by a father
you love, trust and respect?  I'm a daughter, not a son, but I was able to
bond with my dad despite only seeing him 3 days a fortnight for most of my
childhood.

I have a single fond memory of something with my Dad, and when I shared that
memory with him a year ago, he didn't even remember it.  It's not like we
have this awful relationship, and the happy moment is really not that big a
deal, either.

When I was a very young child, I was at my paternal grandparents house, my
parents were already divorced, and I think that was the only time I'd ever
visited my grandparents when he was there.  I had a bad headache, and he
told me to come sit down by him, and I layed my head in his lap and he
stroked my head to help ease the pain.  That's the only memory I have of my
father ever showing me any kind of affection at all.  I'm 47 now, and
perhaps that's the reason I never hide the affection I feel my my two sons.

Little things matter - - - not the big events.  I remember ... sharing
a popcicle on the front porch, laying in the front yard looking at the
stars, a road trip together to see an airshow, an evening by a
campfire, a difficult conversation where we were both finally able to
say that we loved each other.