Family Forum / Parenting / Parenting / January 2006

Hi --

At the age of 4 your son probably knows about private vs. public
activities, right?  Such as, we use the toilet in private, and we have
private parts on our bodies?  Even if he hasn't kept private himself,
he's certainly seen adults maintain some body privacy by now.

So just tell him that what he's doing is a private thing.  He can do it
in his room when he's by himself, but he can't do it elsewhere nor in
public.

If you catch him rubbing himself in the living room, or in public, just
send him to his room directly (if you're at home) or remind him to stop.

LOTS of things feel good that we don't do in public.  THis is just
another on the list.

--Beth Kevles
 bethkevles@aol.com
 http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
 Disclaimer:  Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
 advice.  Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE:  No email is read at my MIT address.  Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

Don't worry. Scientists say the rapid growth period  both in brain and
body occurs at this time. It shows he is normal but if he keeps doing
it frequently you had better buy a furry doll or a soft bouncy ball for
him to play with ,because he may like the soft furry things .
Play more games with him or let him play with the other children to
transfer his attention. And you should tell him " If you continue doing
this, I won't give you any sweets."
Tulip Fan

That masturbation is normal, something lots of people do because it
feels good, but not something that should be done in public.  It's a
private thing.

This sounds like perfectly natural behavior. I would tell him that this is
perfectly natural, like going to the bathroom. But, when you go to the
bathroom, you need privacy. And this should be done in the bathroom or
bedroom.

I although this sounds perfectly natural and I don't think anything is
wrong, masturbation is a sign of sexual abuse. If there are other behavior
changes, I would consider that this might be going on. I would also make
sure that is no signs up trauma around his anus or other private parts, just
to be sure.

Jeff

Tell him furniture is for adults.