 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
Family Forum / Parenting / Parenting / March 2007vomitting - why?
I am concerned about a child in my care at my family daycare. Normally it would be up to Mom to pursue this with her ped. She is not going to do this. I don't know why. I won't go on about my feelings about this Mom. I cant tell if her actions are deliberately trying to hide something or if she is the height of lazy. Suffice it to say this is not the first unaddressed issue. So. Little boy, 5yo. Has SOME kind of learning disability. It is as yet unidentified. Per Mom, ped has never commented on his development (despite the fact that at age 4 he had not uttered a single word ever). My point to the backstory is that he is disadvantaged in some way, but I don't know how. Oh another part of the backstory, he is chronically sleep deprived. How do I say this without sounding like a total bitch? I guess I don't. I risk it. He is a virtual wild animal at home. When he wants something he grunts and whines. Throws himself on the floor. Mom does not put him to bed really. She just tells him to get in bed where he plays with toys and watches tv until he collapses, often around 11:00 or 12:00. Then up to be to my house for 7:00. If I have him nap here, he is up even later at home. So. Every so often he will have a spell of vomitting. About once a week, at snack time he will look green and even more tired than usual. Then he will get sick one to three times and fall asleep, regardless of the chaos around him. There does not seem to be any corrolation with food, though I am very concerned about a food allergy since they can go from benign to life threatening in a short period of time. Can shear exhaustion cause vomitting? I plan on calling my ped, but I want to wait until afternoon when they are done with the morning rush. Thanks for any thoughts. > I am concerned about a child in my care at my family daycare. Normally it > would be up to Mom to pursue this with her ped. She is not going to do this. [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > Thanks for any thoughts. Two things came to mind; either/both might be completely off base. Is there any chance he comes to you without eating breakfast? Hunger sometimes makes me nauseated. Not to the point of vomiting, but I'm sure I know how to recognize the symptoms and do something about it a lot quicker than a 5-year-old would. Does he complain of headaches? I get nauseated almost any time I get a bad headache, which is why I'm popping 3 ibuprofen at the first headache twinge. Clisby >> I am concerned about a child in my care at my family daycare. Normally it >> would be up to Mom to pursue this with her ped. She is not going to do [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > > Is there any chance he comes to you without eating breakfast? He eats breakfast at my house. It is afternoon snack time that he gets sick. > Hunger sometimes makes me nauseated. Not to the point of vomiting, but > I'm sure I know how to recognize the symptoms and do something about it a [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > bad headache, which is why I'm popping 3 ibuprofen at the first headache > twinge. Only once. Yesterday he said his eyebrow hurt. > Clisby >>> I am concerned about a child in my care at my family daycare. Normally >>> it would be up to Mom to pursue this with her ped. She is not going to [quoted text clipped - 46 lines] > > Only once. Yesterday he said his eyebrow hurt. That's perhaps a point to look at. When I get a migraine (and I get sick with a migraine but more feeling than actually being sick) just round my right eyebrow is the first place to start hurting pretty much every time. Debbie >>> Does he complain of headaches? I get nauseated almost any time I get a >>> bad headache, which is why I'm popping 3 ibuprofen at the first headache [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >right eyebrow is the first place to start hurting pretty much every time. >Debbie My dd#1 was under some pressure in 4th grade (we moved in the middle of the year and the teacher kept giving her failing grades on her homework and would not explain what she wanted done) Anyway, she started having migraines and throwing up. So I think that may be it for the throwing up. >> Is there any chance he comes to you without eating breakfast? > >He eats breakfast at my house. It is afternoon snack time that he gets sick. I am curious about what you serve. Is it possible he has allergies? This sounds like he might have sensory issues as well. Has the child been seen by a developmental pediatrician or pediatric neurologist? This is a first step in diagnosing the delays. Any child who has not spoken at all by 4 should certainly be getting speech therapy at the least. -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits >>> Is there any chance he comes to you without eating breakfast? >> >>He eats breakfast at my house. It is afternoon snack time that he gets >>sick. > > I am curious about what you serve. Is it possible he has allergies? Mytracking has yielded no pattern. > This sounds like he might have sensory issues as well. Has the child > been seen by a developmental pediatrician or pediatric neurologist? No. As discussed in the rest of the thread, I would be overjoyed if I could get Mom to make sure he has updated immunization records. > This is a first step in diagnosing the delays. Any child who has not > spoken at all by 4 should certainly be getting speech therapy at the > least. I hear you. > Can shear exhaustion cause vomitting? I plan on calling my ped, but I want > to wait until afternoon when they are done with the morning rush. I have nothing whatsoever to base this on, but I do think that it's possible for stress/sleep deprivation/ etc. to cause vomiting. I would imagine from his point of view, his life is pretty chaotic and stressful. It wouldn't surprise me if some days it just put him over the top. On the other hand, since you suspect other issues, it also wouldn't surprise me if there was some relationship there. I doubt anyone can get to the bottom of this without the child actually being evaluated. It's a shame the parents don't see to be concerned. It sounds like it would be in the child's best interests to get some answers. Best wishes, Ericka >> Can shear exhaustion cause vomitting? I plan on calling my ped, but I >> want to wait until afternoon when they are done with the morning rush. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > etc. to cause vomiting. I would imagine from his point > of view, his life is pretty chaotic and stressful. Can we say understatement of the century? > It > wouldn't surprise me if some days it just put him over [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > don't see to be concerned. It sounds like it would be in > the child's best interests to get some answers. I am not sure it would be in their best interest (from their point of view) for folks to look too closely at them, I'm afraid. > Best wishes, > Ericka >> On the other hand, since you suspect other issues, >> it also wouldn't surprise me if there was some [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >> like it would be in the child's best interests to get some >> answers. > I am not sure it would be in their best interest (from > their point of view) for folks to look too closely at them, > I'm afraid. as a child care provider, aren't you required to be a manditory reporter? is this boy their only child? if so, maybe they are just clueless, but with his lack of verbalization & the mom's evasiveness, i think maybe someone needs to get the kid/family some help. i'm so *not* a fan of child services, but if mom is really clueless someone needs to help her out & if the kid is a little developmentally slow (it could be the chronic exhaustion though), the sooner he gets help, the better. lee >>> On the other hand, since you suspect other issues, >>> it also wouldn't surprise me if there was some [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > as a child care provider, aren't you required to be a > manditory reporter? Twice already. Got my a.s handed to me on a plate last time. > is this boy their only child? No. > if so, maybe they are just > clueless, They are certainly that. It is a. Difficult to determine if they are *merely* clueless or if there is something more nefarious going on. b. Difficult to work with since even if clueless IS the problem she is completely unwilling to discuss or address issues. This, among other things, makes me wonder if it is *mere* cluelessness. > but with his lack of verbalization & the mom's > evasiveness, i think maybe someone needs to get the kid/family [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > exhaustion though), the sooner he gets help, the better. > lee Perhaps kindy will have better luck. CPS was out here for an interview and found no grounds to proceed with abuse (physical abuse was all she was looking for despite the fact that my report had nothing to do with that). If there is physical abuse going on, it does not appear to be leaving marks. > Perhaps kindy will have better luck. CPS was out here for an interview and > found no grounds to proceed with abuse (physical abuse was all she was > looking for despite the fact that my report had nothing to do with that). > If there is physical abuse going on, it does not appear to be leaving > marks. can you write to a higher level, or make a complaint, CPS isn't just to protect children from physical abuse, but neglect also, it sounds very much to me like they are not doing there job properly. Anne > can you write to a higher level, or make a complaint, CPS isn't just to > protect children from physical abuse, but neglect also, it sounds very > much to me like they are not doing there job properly. medical neglect is a very hard bar to reach. i've known of a few cases where the report was clearly about medical neglect and the investigator still looked for signs of physical abuse. Investigators often do not understand what medical neglect is nor how to investigate it. Bruises and fractures are much easier to identify, etc. Perhaps if the OP were to talk with a Protective Investigations supervisor from the local office and ask exactly how to go about reporting it so that the real issue is investigated it might help, but she should be aware that that conversation in and of itself probably would not be considered to be the abuse call as it is not a phone call made to their hot line for reports. Another tact the OP could take is to sit down and write down a full log of the medical issues, including dates when she asked parents to do whatever as well as what they told her and any results she is aware of and forwards them to both the child's doctor and the abuse hot line in writing [a lot of states can accept faxed abuse allegations now, which helps prevent some of the loss of information because it is written down]. By forwarding it to the doc she does two things: puts another mandatory reporter on notice of the specifics, and, two, inserts the information into the child's medical record. That medical record usually follows the child from doc to doc, even when families move cross country. The child is too young to be able to insert it into school records, which also can do that. Eventually, someone is going to read it and get it, iykwim. I hope that it isn't too late to help the child. aula > b. Difficult to work with since even if clueless IS the problem she is > completely unwilling to discuss or address issues. This, among other > things, makes me wonder if it is *mere* cluelessness. Unless she's a battered spouse who knows that pursuing the issue will result in further issues at home and this is her way of protecting herself and/or the child? Possible, but only people closer to the situation could even begin to evaluate for that possibility. -Aula >I am concerned about a child in my care at my family daycare. Normally it >would be up to Mom to pursue this with her ped. She is not going to do >this. I don't know why. I won't go on about my feelings about this Mom. I >cant tell if her actions are deliberately trying to hide something or if >she is the height of lazy. Suffice it to say this is not the first >unaddressed issue. The first question that comes to mind is: "Why is this kid in your daycare?" It doesn't sound like it is a good match between you and the child. Both of you may be better off if he is in someone else's care. > So. Little boy, 5yo. Has SOME kind of learning disability. It is as yet > unidentified. Per Mom, ped has never commented on his development (despite [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > Thanks for any thoughts. I would either call child protective services or dismiss him from your child care. Or both. The reality is that this kid need specialized care that you can't give. He should be in a preschool that can help him with his learning disability. And it sounds like there are some issues concerning his care at home. Jeff >>I am concerned about a child in my care at my family daycare. Normally it >>would be up to Mom to pursue this with her ped. She is not going to do [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > daycare?" It doesn't sound like it is a good match between you and the > child. Both of you may be better off if he is in someone else's care. Um. I don't even know what to say to that. >> So. Little boy, 5yo. Has SOME kind of learning disability. It is as yet >> unidentified. Per Mom, ped has never commented on his development [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > I would either call child protective services or dismiss him from your > child care. Or both. I have called CPS. Twice. No bruises. No action. And if I remove him from my care, then what? Sure. It's not my problem any more. But what about him? Prior to coming here, he would not talk (at 4 years old). He was terrified of everyone. If someone's body moved to close to him, he would cringe and shake but become stone silent. He did not look at books. He did not play with toys. So I ship him off to puke on someone else? > The reality is that this kid need specialized care that you can't give. No kidding! Mom is not going to find it for him. I have tried, but I am not his mother. Without the mother's consent, it does not happen. I went so far as to get the local EEE to come to MY house for assessments and lessons. All Mom had to do was call and Ok. Strangely no call. I have been pestering her for months for an updated immunization record. Funny thing is, I am probably going to have to get rid of them just so I don't risk my own registration. > He should be in a preschool that can help him with his learning > disability. You preacher. Me choir. That and a lot of money will get us a Starbucks, my friend. At least when he hits Kindy next year (compulsory) *someone* will be looking a little more closely. > And it sounds like there are some issues concerning his care at home. Um. Yes. > Jeff >>>I am concerned about a child in my care at my family daycare. Normally it >>>would be up to Mom to pursue this with her ped. She is not going to do [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Um. I don't even know what to say to that. I really admire your devotion to this child. I just wish that I could say the same thing of his mother. So do you. >>> So. Little boy, 5yo. Has SOME kind of learning disability. It is as yet >>> unidentified. Per Mom, ped has never commented on his development [quoted text clipped - 42 lines] > is, I am probably going to have to get rid of them just so I don't risk my > own registration. Not really funny. I'd mention the immunization records problem to CPS, too. >> He should be in a preschool that can help him with his learning >> disability. > > You preacher. Me choir. That and a lot of money will get us a Starbucks, > my friend. At least when he hits Kindy next year (compulsory) *someone* > will be looking a little more closely. A kid without learning disabilities (as well with parents) can stand to lose 4 or 5 months. I wish I knew what to say. At least, you can notify the school before he gets there. They may have someone who is able to start getting him the services he needs soon after he starts there. It seems obvious that without any notice, they would notice his lack of skills. I think your idea of talking to your ped is a good idea. (S)He might also be able to talk to people who can really help. >> And it sounds like there are some issues concerning his care at home. > > Um. Yes. You know, you are going to go into withdrawal when he leaves your care. So will he. He'll find people who care as much as his mother appears to care at his new school. Hoepfully he will find people who care as much as you do. Jeff >> Jeff >>>>I am concerned about a child in my care at my family daycare. Normally >>>>it would be up to Mom to pursue this with her ped. She is not going to [quoted text clipped - 77 lines] > seems obvious that without any notice, they would notice his lack of > skills. They have a standard procedure of pre-kindy assessment. You have to schedule an appointment and the child goes in for 2 meetings with the teachers. Hopefully that will do the trick. I am treading a careful balance here. Mom KNOWS I called CPS on her once. I don't want to get myself into a position where I piss her off and get an unsubstantiated claim against me. Nothing could stick, but still I don't need that headache. Paranoid? Well just because I am paranoid, does not mean that they are not out to get me. > I think your idea of talking to your ped is a good idea. (S)He might also > be able to talk to people who can really help. Nope. She basically said to do what I was already doing and cover my a.s. There is not much a non-parent can do. >>> And it sounds like there are some issues concerning his care at home. >> [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > at his new school. Hoepfully he will find people who care as much as you > do. I can take a little withdrawal. I am heading on toward more than I can handle. He has a sister... and trust me when I tell you that that is no picnic either. Thanks for your kind words. It was kind of nice hearing the nurse on the phone telling me that there really is not much more that I can do and that I am on the right track. I have a letter to her outlining that she told me she is taking him to theped and that I look forward to a report so that I can adjust my care if necessary. A copy is in their file. What else can I do? > lAt least, you can notify the > school before he gets there. Can she do that without the parents' consent? Best wishes, Ericka >> lAt least, you can notify the school before he gets there. > > Can she do that without the parents' consent? > > Best wishes, > Ericka No. > At least when he hits Kindy next year (compulsory) *someone* will be >looking a little more closely. Is K compulsory in your state? It's not in most. Arkansas, Connecticut, Delaware, DC, Maryland, New Mexico, Oklahoma, South Carolina and Virginia are the only places where school attendence is mandatory at 5. Several of these have parent waivers that allow children to be held out until they are 6 or 7. http://nces.ed.gov/programs/statereform/res_tab11.asp -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits >> At least when he hits Kindy next year (compulsory) *someone* will be >>looking a little more closely. > > Is K compulsory in your state? It's not in most. Attendance becomes compulsory by age 6, whatever grade is deemed appropriate. K is not specifically compulsory. Sorry I was unclear. > Arkansas, Connecticut, Delaware, DC, Maryland, New Mexico, > Oklahoma, South Carolina and Virginia are the only places where > school attendence is mandatory at 5. Several of these have parent > waivers that allow children to be held out until they are 6 or 7. > > http://nces.ed.gov/programs/statereform/res_tab11.asp He will be 6 by September. > -- > Dorothy [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > The Outer Limits >>I am concerned about a child in my care at my family daycare. Normally it >>would be up to Mom to pursue this with her ped. She is not going to do [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > The first question that comes to mind is: "Why is this kid in your > daycare?" Let me actually answer this as I see it. I am not the ideal care provider for this child. I do not have the education or experience. Unfortunately for this child, I appear to be way better than what he has had up until this point. He has gone, in one short year, from being completely convinced he could not use the toilet, to self toiletting. He has gone from unwilling and/or unable to utter a word to speaking, albeit not very well for a 5yo. He has gone from looking scared all the time to being able to play, handle small conflicts with peers, share with his peers, express his feelings. He has gone from beleiving that he cannot learn to *trying* to learn new words, dressing himself, learn letters, colors and shapes. All of these things were very difficult. He went from feeling a pariah to feeling part of the group. While his learning disabilities are not addressed, and there are many things I cannot give him, I do believe he is doing better here than he has ever done anywhere else. And the *only* consideration to Mom when choosing a provider is convenience for her. She chose me because I had openings. Period. It is a stress on me, though I beleive I am successfully managing the stress so that it does not affect the rest of the team. I do believe that there is going to be some upper limit of nonsense I am going to be willing and able to tolerate. I already have to have the family on a *very*short leash where payment is concerned, or they would stop paying me altogether. > It doesn't sound like it is a good match between you and the child. Both > of you may be better off if he is in someone else's care. It would, indeed, be better for me. I do not beleive it would be better for him. I know the provider who cared for him before me. There is one center in our small town. They don't hire any more qualified folks than you will find in family care. And really, none of us in family care (or center based care for that matter) are required to have the depth of education necessary to do this job properly. So I don't hold out much hope that he is going to luck onto a situation that is better elsewhere. Does that answer the question? >> So. Little boy, 5yo. Has SOME kind of learning disability. It is as yet >> unidentified. Per Mom, ped has never commented on his development [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > > Jeff >>>I am concerned about a child in my care at my family daycare. Normally it >>>would be up to Mom to pursue this with her ped. She is not going to do [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > and able to tolerate. I already have to have the family on a *very*short > leash where payment is concerned, or they would stop paying me altogether. I agree. It sounds like no one has done anything other than to meet his immediate physical needs. It sounds like, under the circumstances, it sounds like your the only one who is going to meet any of his emotional needs until he goes to Kindergarten. I had to ask, didn't I? Jeff If I was a parent of another child in your care, I'd be unhappy that a child was vomitting regularly, even though it seems unlikely it's infectious, there is always that possibility, it's also distressing for other children to see a child being sick regularly. Are home daycare providers mandatory reporters in the same way that daycares are? If the mum is not responding to your requests to take the child to the pediatrician when he is clearly not well, I think you'd have every reason to report, Think you'd be doing the child a favour, he needs to have his health problems diagnosed and treated/supported. Anne > So. Little boy, 5yo. Has SOME kind of learning disability. It is as yet > unidentified. Per Mom, ped has never commented on his development (despite [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > will get sick one to three times and fall asleep, regardless of the chaos > around him. To me that sounds like some kind of neurological problem. Some people vomit before migraines or seizure activity (especially since he sleeps afterwards), lots of variables but it doesn't sound like a stomach thing at all. The serious language delay, the sleep problem (typical 5yo's couldn't stay up that late if they tried), unexplained vomiting etc. If his ped is not worried about all this in a 5yo - well my thought is she doesn't tell the doc, she lies to you about what the doc says, or she lied and doesn't even have a doc. If the child has some kind of disability he may act like that with the best parents and if this parent is iffy, that *is* sad/frustrating. Denial can be a very powerful thing. You might check your state to see if they have any kind od agency or organization that hooks up parents. I might be able to find that information for you rather quickly if you care to tell me what state you are in. Aula has good thoughts on how to report it. Keep at it. It will be such a plus for this family when he starts school. Our schools have a child find program and they are required to find kids that need services and make contact. I thought that was federal. You could call the school and see. Will you update us from time to time? I'm really impressed that you continue to care for this little guy.  SignatureNikki, mama to Hunter 4/99 Luke 4/01 Brock 4/06 Ben 4/06 > Can shear exhaustion cause vomitting? I plan on calling my ped, but I want > to wait until afternoon when they are done with the morning rush. >From my experience, yes. My daughter has displayed this though her exhaustion is no where near what you are describing for this boy. Once she was allowed to stay up 2-3 hours past her bedtime by some overindulgent grandparents who were babysitting her. The next afternoon, she complained of nausea for an hour or two, then asked to eat. She ate, threw up once, and fell asleep. Absolutely fine after that. She also has a tendancy toward motion sickness, which is exasperated by fatigue. If she's overtired or jetlagged, she'll barf from riding in the car down a straight freeway. -Jan |
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2009 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.