Family Forum / Parenting / Parenting / April 2008

Hi Kim,
   Maybe dinnertime could be changed?  My first thought was 'Kim
needs a crockpot!'!  And not just for your son's sake.... if I imagine
doing your day: get ready, drop off, work, pick-up, dinner...  I want
to know where the 'relax' part comes in!  If the relaxing doesn't
happen til after your boy is in bed, then it means he doesn't get to
enjoy it.
   On workdays, if your time with your son mostly happens between
daycare pickup and bedtime, then why not have dinner later?  Don't
just play with him for a few minutes when you get home...  Come home
and focus on relaxing together for a while..give both of you a break!
Ate his age, a kid needs to feel some sense of control.  Daycare is
awesome for alot of things (creative outlets, socializing, etc.), but
the structure of daycare doesn't do enough for a toddlers need to
explore being 'in charge'.
   I bet if you came home and made the first 45 minutes 'his time',
and really played with him, you'd see a difference.  And it really is
less work than starting dinner, haha..... you could just flop onto his
bed and engage him, ask him about his toys, chat with him, and snuggle
(if he is the kind that will stay still, haha)
        Good luck

What does he get for snack?  Is it something
high sugar that has a quick blood sugar high
then blood sugar drop?

Or - the other idea of a crock pot dinner may
be a good thing to try.

-- Anita --

My eldest was a similar age when he started having meltdowns like this.
It was nothing to do with daycare (he was at home with me).  I never
found an adequete way of stopping them, but just wanted to let you know
you are not alone in the problem.

We've noticed that at that age our kids were very sensitive to telling
them in advance what would happen during a day. We cut the day into 3-4
bits, and start talking about them as soon as we get up. It works a bit
like Dora the Explorer and her map: first we go have breakfast, then you
go to daycare, then we all come home for dinner. This would give them a
sense of control, or at least knowledge of what lies ahead.

In spite of this, they still have meltdowns. It is a way of coping with
all the impressions of a day. It only happens when they feel comfortable
enough, e.g. yesterday the kids were at home with DH all day, but as
soon as I came home from work, all hell broke loose...

When they cannot be silenced, I usually put them in bed for 5-10
minutes. As soon as they quiet down I go in to console and hug them, and
ask if they would like to help me with something. If they start
screaming again, I tell them it is OK to be angry some more, but they
will then have to stay in bed a bit longer. After the melt-down I make
sure to have some one-on-one time. Life can wait another 10 minutes.

HTH!

I
--
mommy to TG and TB (2.5)
mommy of DS (5.5)
guardian of DH (age classified)

My toddlers also started having meltdowns around 1 1/2.  Toddlers need
help coping with their meltdowns, but that does not necessarily mean
you should take steps to avoid meltdowns.  On the other hand, as this
is a daily occurrence, you do need to consider (as you are doing) are
you making them worse or more frequent?

How long is the drive home from daycare?  Could you give the snack in
the car during the drive, and once you get home give him your full
attention for a solid 15 minutes or more?  Pretending to play with him
while secretly planning dinner does not count, BTW.  Can you do some
things to plan dinner in advance?  Or arrange for more automatic
dinners?  In much of the world, the family meal after a long work day
is a light cold supper, really just a large snack:  drinks, bread or
other already prepared staple food, olives, olive oil, butter, cheese,
pickles, cold cuts of meat, nuts, fruits, cookies or other dessert.
Planned leftovers.

Pologirl
2004 Monkey Boy
2006 Hungry Girl