Family Forum / Marriage / Marriage / February 2009

As wives we sometimes allow our tongues to destroy our marriages. We
say things that come to our mouths and could not care less if our
husbands are offended. However, what many wives fail to realize is
that words can sometimes cut deeper and hurt more severely than any
weapon that causes a physical wound.
Maybe your tongue is destroying your marriage and you are not even
aware of it. You blame everything and everyone else while you need to
pay attention to what you say and how you say it. The remainder of
this article will look at two ways your tongue can destroy your
marriage and how to use it to save your marriage.

Using Your Tongue as a Weapon
Compared to most men, women seem to have the gift of converting words
to weapons. We know exactly what to say to pierce our husbands and
cause them to feel hurt or guilty about something they did or said.
However, in the same way that a weapon can kill, your words can also
kill your marriage.
•    Do you deliberately use disrespectful words to your husband?
•    Do you put him down in front of your girlfriends?
•    Do you use curse words when having an argument?
•    Do you use words to get him to shut up so that you can have your own
way?

Proverbs chapter twenty one and verse nineteen tells us that, "better
to live in a dessert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife". I
think this passage is so true for many husbands. They would prefer to
be uncomfortable somewhere else than to be around you.
Take some time to analyze your marriage to ensure that this is not
happening in your marriage.

Using Your Tongue to Push Away Your Husband
Many husbands become unresponsive and uncommunicative because they are
afraid of what will come out of their spouse's mouth if they are to
have a conversation with them.
So instead of talking to them about issues that concern them, they
find other women.

Sadly but true these relationships can lead to emotional affairs which
in many cases also lead to physical affairs.
Another way of pushing away your husband is by nagging him. Some wives
have mastered the art of nagging in order to get their own way. But
although they get their own way today, this is causing resentment on
their husbands' part and eventually this can lead to a lack of love,
affection and intimacy.

Using Your Tongue to Heal Your Marriage
In order to heal your marriage you may need to bite your tongue at
times. Biting your tongue means to take control of it, being careful
of what you say. However, for some wives who have no self control, you
may need to literally bite it in order to stop you from talking
without thinking.

Let us now look at some positive ways to use your tongue to heal your
marriage, especially if you have been using it as a weapon or to push
away your husband.
•    Use it to show your husband much love and affection
•    Use it to encourage and build him up
•    Use it to cultivate passion and romance in your marriage
•    Use it to keep your husband faithful
•    Use it to have a peaceful marriage
•    Use it to be an accommodating and respectful wife

Conclusion
Never underestimate the power of your tongue and ensure that your
husband sees it as a loving tool and not a destructive weapon.
Watching what you say is one of the fastest ways to save your marriage
and encourage your husband to be more communicative and loving.

Do you want to learn more about being a great wife?
Read the first 26 pages of the book The Marriage Thermometer
Principles at:
http://www.marriagethermometer.com/signup.html

Life is too short to spend it wishing you had a happy and steaming hot
marriage when you can do something about it.