Family Forum / Marriage / Marriage / October 2005

A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married and went
to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time,
Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law
at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was
angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she
criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed days, and weeks passed weeks. Li-Li and her mother-in-law
never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even
worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had
to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger
and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great
distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and
dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.

Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.
She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison
so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Mr. Huang
thought for a while, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve
your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."

Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."
Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes
with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting
poison  to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause
people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number
of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day
prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving.
Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you
must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don't argue with her,
obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen."

Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her

plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks went by, and months went
by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her
mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding
suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and
treated her like her own mother.

[me: we know what's coming, don't we?]

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li
had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she
almost  never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her
mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and
easier to get along with. The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed,
and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends
and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever
find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a
real mother and daughter. Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what
was happening.

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She
said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing
my mother-in-law! She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her
like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave
her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry
about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins
to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your
attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which
you gave to her."

MORAL: have you ever realized that how you treat others is exactly how
they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: 'The person who
loves others will also be loved in return.' God might be trying to
work in another person's life through you.