Family Forum / Marriage / Marriage / December 2006

Alt.Support.Marriage Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Recommended Reading Sub FAQ
Version 1
Created on: Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Changelog:
   Friday, July 15, 2005

The master copy of this FAQ is currently kept at
http://www.geocities.com/asmsi­te/

Disclaimer and Copyright:

This FAQ may contain errors, or inaccurate material. Use it at your own
risk. Although an effort is made to keep all the material presented here
accurate, the contributors and maintainer of this FAQ will not be held
responsible for any damage -- direct or indirect -- which may result from
inaccuracies. You may redistribute this document as long as you keep it in
its current form, without any modifications.

The FAQ answers common questions concerning the alt.support.marriage (ASM)
usenet group.

Please suggest additions, corrections, or revisions by posting them to the
alt.support.marriage newsgroup.

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3) Online Resources
--------------------
A list of  programs and websites devoted to helping marriages:
http://www.geocities.com/asmsite/links.html

For those looking for immediate online material or to bookmark for later:
http://marriagebuilders.com/

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4) Recommended Reading
---------------------------
A list of recommended books may be found at the website:
http://www.geocities.com/asmsi­­te/Books.html

It is recommended you read books of possible interest BEFORE relationship
problems arise. They are most effective when used to identify and address
issues before they become serious.

The following is a list of the books currently on the asmsite recommended
reading list:

o  Fall In Love, Stay In Love
   author: Willard Harley Jr
   comment: "a nuts and bolts 'how to be a good spouse' book"

o  The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work
   author: John Gottman
   comment: "it teaches you how to manage conflict (inevitable) in your
relationship so that it doesn't tear you apart"

o  Passionate Marriage:
   Love, Sex, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships
   author: David Schnarch
   comment: "a respectful, erotic, uplifting, and spiritual guide dedicated
to making love and intimacy a reality for every couple"

o  The Five Love Languages:  How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your
Mate
  author: Gary Chapman
   comment: "a look at the different ways we like to express and receive
love and how to apply that knowledge within a marriage"

o  Dance Of Anger
   author: Harriet Lerner
   comment: "awesome for people who are stuck in marriages that seem to go
around and around fighting about the same issues but nothing ever changes"

o  Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay: A step-by-step guide to help you
decide whether to stay in or get out of your relationship
   author: Mira Kirschenbaum

o  Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for
Yourself
   author:  Melody Beattie
   comment: "very appropriate for those people who have grown up in
alcoholic households who find themselves unable to separate themselves from
others in terms of knowing how to meet your own needs without trying to
control others and letting actions of others control your life.  It helps
you recognize your own personal boundaries, establish them and be treated
how you want to be treated by others without resentment for 'doing
everything for everyone while no one takes care of ME'."

o   Making Your Marriage a First-Class Success
   author: Douglas Moseley, et al
   comment: "The chapters on commitment and feelings gave me an
understanding of these basic issues that I might never have reached
otherwise."

o  Fighting for Your Marriage
   author: Markman, Stanley and Blumberg

o  The Seat of the Soul
   author: Gary Zukov

o  If Only I'd Listen To Myself
   author: Salome and Galland

o  Self Care In And Out Of Bed
   author: Yetta Bernhard

o  Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing and Dying
  author: Ram Dass

o   Couple Communication  I - Talking And Listening Together
   author: Miller, Miller, Nunnely, Wackman

o  Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
   author: John Gottman

o  When Men Batter Women:
   New Insights Into Ending Abusive Relationships
   author: John Gottman

o  The Heart of Parenting: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
   authors: John Gottman and Joan DeClaire

o  16 Ways to Love Your Lover : Understanding the 16 Personality Types So
You Can Create a Love That Lasts Forever
   authors: Otto Kroeger & Janet M. Thuesen Out of Print