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Family Forum / Marriage / Marriage / March 2007Questions about therapy
Neither my husband or I have ever gone to therapy. After reading so many posts, I have begun to consider that it would be a good idea for both of us as a couple. The thing is, I'm not really sure how a person goes about getting into therapy! Is it terribly expensive and does insurance usually cover it? I don't think my husband will go for the idea if it would be a huge expense. We have four kids, one of whom is entering college in the fall. How does a person find a good therapist and do you need a recomendation from an MD? I don't really want to mention this idea to my husband until I have a few answers to the questions I know he will ask. Thanks > Neither my husband or I have ever gone to therapy. After reading so > many posts, I have begun to consider that it would be a good idea for [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Is it terribly expensive and does insurance usually cover it? I don't > think my husband will go for the idea if it would be a huge expense. It is *much* cheaper than divorce. Insurance may pay for part of it. > We have four kids, one of whom is entering college in the fall. How > does a person find a good therapist and do you need a recomendation > from an MD? Ask your friends. Then interview the candidates. You don't need a referral from a doctor. > I don't really want to mention this idea to my husband until I have a > few answers to the questions I know he will ask. Thanks > > We have four kids, one of whom is entering college in the fall. How > > does a person find a good therapist and do you need a recomendation > > from an MD? > > Ask your friends. Then interview the candidates. You don't need a > referral from a doctor. Depending on your insurance (for example, many HMOs) you may need to have a referral from a doctor (in the case of HMOs, usually your primary care provider) if you want the insurance to pay for it. > Ask your friends. Then interview the candidates. You don't need a > referral from a doctor. She may not need a referral from the doctor, but it is VERY important to make sure the therapist you choose is covered within your insurance group. The best way to do that is to call the member services number on the back of your insurance card, go to their website, or look it up in the handbook provided to you. > Neither my husband or I have ever gone to therapy. After reading so > many posts, I have begun to consider that it would be a good idea for [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > I don't really want to mention this idea to my husband until I have a > few answers to the questions I know he will ask. Thanks Emma Anne gave you good information. You can check out aamft.org which might answer some questionst that you have. I'd rather get the name of a good therapist from a friend who has gone to see one rather than through a doctor (often doctors refer patients without really having personal experience) I also suggest having a list of questions for the therapist and seeing if they offer and introductory session. A good therapist will spend some time with you on the phone, answering your questions. Finding a good fit is crucial; someone whom both you and your husband like. It's similar to finding couple friends where you all like each other :-) I'm going to give you my unsolicited opinion on this topic though, well, at least give you some food for thought. Since your husband thinks things are okay and you're the one who does not; perhaps just you going for some counseling to begin with, might be a good idea. You might find that after a few sessions figuring out what's going on in your head, that you have your own issues to work on. Working on your own issues certainly has the potential to shift things in your marriage without involving your husband to attend therapy with you. Or, your therapist might recommend that after a certain amount of sessions, she/he would like your husband to attend. Just a thought. > > Neither my husband or I have ever gone to therapy. After reading so > > many posts, I have begun to consider that it would be a good idea for [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > Or, your therapist might recommend that after a certain amount of > sessions, she/he would like your husband to attend. Just a thought. I've thought of that option, too. That might be the way to go...at first. > Since your husband > thinks things are okay and you're the one who does not; perhaps just > you going for some counseling to begin with, might be a good idea. Excellent advice :)  SignatureSD:) > > Since your husband > > thinks things are okay and you're the one who does not; perhaps just [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > -- > SD:) I'm great with managing other people's problems :-) >>> Since your husband >>> thinks things are okay and you're the one who does not; perhaps just [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > I'm great with managing other people's problems :-) Indeed. > Neither my husband or I have ever gone to therapy. After reading so > many posts, I have begun to consider that it would be a good idea for [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > I don't really want to mention this idea to my husband until I have a > few answers to the questions I know he will ask. Thanks Expensive? It is cheaper than divorce! How much it costs depends a lot on the person and the region. Where we live it is on the order of $90 for a 50 minute hour, I think. Insurance? It depends on the insurance, and what the therapist is willing to do about billing. Ours ended up being paid 80% up to a certain number of visits. Unless you have an MD who you think is knowledgeable about such things, and who knows you and/or your husband really well, I wouldn't ask your MD for a recommendation. I do suggest shopping around. At the least, have a phone conversation about what your problems are and what you are looking for and ask the therapist if she or he thinks they can help. Many therapists are willing to schedule a short visit without charging to give you a chance to evaluate them. Do you have any friends who are social workers or counselors who you can ask to give you recommendations? |
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