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Family Forum / Marriage / Marriage / September 2007He's off in la-la land...
...ever since we got a new aquarium! We picked up a nice custom 110gal aquarium the other day. N seems to have found something he can waste time on, but along with that, I can say the same for me. Right now as I type this, he's got his arm in the water almost up to his armpits and he's getting it all ready. Spent the last couple days cleaning it together, washing the gravel and making it look all nice and spiffy. We both just love the fish and fish tanks, and we're moving all my cichlids out of the 65gal tank into the 110gal, then putting all the other small Texas cichlids (all very small babies) and convicts (fairly young still) into that tank, then putting the boring tropicals into the 65gal. I've decided that I'll turn one of the small tanks into a tank for the Venus Fly Trap and see how that goes and then I think we can finally get rid of all the small 20gal and less tanks. We're both having fun with this new tank and spending time doing it together in the evening once the kids are in bed and sleeping for the night. It's been a great few days lately that we've had time sitting at home together doing something we both like to do. Kind of a pointless post, but it sure beats all the spam and garbage around here lately, and a positive post (or anything other than "my relationship sucks" or "I'm a big fat cheater/(s)he's a big fat cheater") We have some nice, slow music playing lightly in the background and it's just kind of nice and fun. ;) > ...ever since we got a new aquarium! > We picked up a nice custom 110gal aquarium the other day. N seems to have [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > We have some nice, slow music playing lightly in the background and it's > just kind of nice and fun. ;) Sounds like you guys need some snorkel gear! > ...ever since we got a new aquarium! > We picked up a nice custom 110gal aquarium the other day. N seems to [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > and > it's just kind of nice and fun. ;) Thanks for posting about your happy stuff, xkatx, and I definitely don't think it's at all pointless! I love "simple pleasures" kinds of story. :) > ...ever since we got a new aquarium! Fish are addictive! We had indoor aquariums many years ago, but this past spring we built a pond in our garden, and are now the proud "parents" of six Shubunkin goldfish, ten freshwater snails, and various chubs that the kids caught in the creek out back. The chubs had babies! Between the growth of the water plants and the fish, it looks like we'll have to put in another pond next spring. It's a great hobby, and also very relaxing. If I'm having a stressful day, going out there to feed the fish and mess with the plants sets me right in no time. Hope you and your DH have fun! >> ...ever since we got a new aquarium! > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > there to feed the fish and mess with the plants sets me right in no > time. We were looking at ponds last weekend and are seriously tempted. We were at a plant nursery and they have tanks of well-grown fish as well as various molds and rockery arrangements that could be very pleasant. Unfortunately *first* we have to wreck our backyard and redesign it and we've been having a lot of trouble getting around to that. (Like about 15 years worth of procrastination....) Do you think we'd have to put a grill over a fish pond because of our and the neighbours' cats? I don't find those very attractive. I'm also a little worried about creating a mosquito farm because we live near a creek and get a lot of the nasty little bloodsuckers, particularly at dusk and into the evening. In the meantime we found a small wall fountain to go on the wall on our decking to give us some pleasant splashing sounds, at least! We could probably put a couple of goldfish in it as well. But then I'd have to keep it clean... hmmmm... :) >>> ...ever since we got a new aquarium! >> [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > splashing sounds, at least! We could probably put a couple of goldfish in > it as well. But then I'd have to keep it clean... hmmmm... :) We've had no problems with mosquitos, even with a creek nearby, because the pond has a filter, pump, and small fountain that we set to run on a timer. In a small garden-size pond, you need to circulate the water to provide oxygen to the fish, and mosquitoes will only breed in still water. The fish would eat the larvae anyway. A well planned pond doesn't need much cleaning, because your goal is to create a small ecosystem . As long as everything is in balance, the fish waste feeds the plants, the plants grow , the fish eat the plant debris, and snails eat the algae, etc. The sound of the water is very nice indeed. We put the pond in an ugly dead area in the yard. Nothing would grow there due to nutrient-sucking roots from swamp maple trees, it was at a weird angle and was difficult to mow, so basically it was dirt and the odd weed, in the front of our house to boot! I took of pics during the process, if you like, I'll email you the link. We don't have stray outdoor cats here, but a snapping turtle made its way from the creek to the neighbors driveway and I was panicked that it wanted to eat my fish. There are occasional herons in the creek, but they haven't come up this close. My mother has had a heron and large bullfrogs raid her pond, and eat a few fish. A grill (I assume this is a metal contraption?) might not be necessary, she's had luck with tulle netting, the stuff that bridal veils and ballet costumes are made from, you can buy it in colors that aren't obtrusive. Mom was right when she said that I'd lay awake at night worrying about my fish! :-\ >>>> ...ever since we got a new aquarium! >>> [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > plant debris, and snails eat the algae, etc. The sound of the water > is very nice indeed. Well, okay, I will bear that in mind! > We put the pond in an ugly dead area in the yard. Nothing would grow > there due to nutrient-sucking roots from swamp maple trees, it was at > a weird angle and was difficult to mow, so basically it was dirt and > the odd weed, in the front of our house to boot! I took of pics > during the process, if you like, I'll email you the link. I'd love to see them, thank you. :) > We don't have stray outdoor cats here, but a snapping turtle made its > way from the creek to the neighbors driveway and I was panicked that [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > with tulle netting, the stuff that bridal veils and ballet costumes > are made from, you can buy it in colors that aren't obtrusive. Grills do tend to be metal, but I think some people have successfully used plastic piping and shade cloth frames positioned just under the surface of the water to make it unobtrusive as possible. > Mom was right when she said that I'd lay awake at night worrying > about my fish! :-\ Better them than your children. :)) >> ...ever since we got a new aquarium! > > Fish are addictive! They are. We seem to just keep adding and adding, but this new tank is, by far, the biggest one we've ever had. It sure beats our current largest (at home) which is only about 65gal. We also have 2x20gal and 1x10 at home and a lousy 5gal one that is kind of not in use. I also have 2 82gal tanks at my dad's work in his front office (one full of breeding Texas cichlids, the other is a dump tank, with everything from a bunch of tinfoil barbs to some giant feeder goldfish, an ID shark that couldn't stand up to the other one in the other tank and some other random this'n'thats), and also an unknown large tank - little smaller than the 82gals - that is split in half - half water with a bunch of guppies, snails and ghost shrimp, half with soil for salamanders. I have also stashed a small 10gal on my dad's desk that has a lone jewel cichlid. Another 40ish gal tank has all the very tiny, yet quickly growing, Texas cichlids in it. And a giant indoor pond of red eared slider turtles. I kind of got way over my head and just didn't have the room (and also wasn't sure how the home insurance would swallow all those tanks set up in such a tiny place to have the potential of causing some massive damage - had a 90gal tank spring a nice leak a number of years back and ended up with some Oscars nearly the size of dinner plates go belly up and boy was that a HUGE mess to deal with. FYI, nearly 90 gallons of water on the floor = massive disaster lol Fish are like a bad drug. Very, very addictive, yet in a good way. > We had indoor aquariums many years ago, but this past spring we built a > pond in our garden, and are now the proud "parents" of six Shubunkin > goldfish, ten freshwater snails, and various chubs that the kids caught > in the creek out back. The chubs had babies! We thought about a pond. Just a small one. I have a small pond sitting in the corner behind my shed in the yard. It's small, maybe 40 or 50 gallons at the most, but we've never done anything with it. We rent, so I'm a bit hesitant to dig up the yard. When we move out of here, though, I'll probably see about starting off with this small pond, and knowing the trend of any fish fan, it will grow and grow from there hahaha > Between the growth of the water plants and the fish, it looks like we'll > have to put in another pond next spring. It's a great hobby, and also > very relaxing. If I'm having a stressful day, going out there to feed the > fish and mess with the plants sets me right in no time. That's the fun of ponds... They're like tattoos, it seems, or piercings for some. You can't seem to stop at just one small one, you just seem to keep going and going! I agree about the relaxing thing. We've had fish tanks in the kids' rooms and it's a nice, soothing and calming sound. Like crickets and frogs while out in the middle of nowhere to be camping. Only without the grossness of crickets in your house or frogs jumping around you in your room! There's been times I know I've sat staring at the fish for a long time doing nothing but staring. Hypnotizing and calming! I've caught N squatting down at the tanks doing the same, and the tanks even seem to get the kids calmed down a fair bit... Turn off the TV, computers, music, whatever, darken the room and just watch the fish. > Hope you and your DH have fun! We are. We have it all filled, he had some fun putting the slate in (although he stole a number of large pieces out of the other tank!!) and we let it run. We tossed in a dozen or so small feeder goldfish to get it going and moving faster. Tap water seems to need little conditioning around here - I've never bothered with many chemicals or the like with any of my tanks and have never had a problem. No feeders have gone to the toilet-fish-heaven yet, so that's a good thing... Another plus is whatever goldfish are left when the tank is ready for my cichlids to move in can turn into big Jack Dempsy fish food :D > sure beats all the spam and garbage around here lately, and a positive post (or > anything other than "my relationship sucks" or "I'm a big fat > cheater/(s)he's a big fat cheater") Couldn't agree more ... Can't tell folks enough.. find some activity that both can take part in the learning process... and TV related matter DOES NOT QUALIFY. It's important for partners to find some actual activity where they can rekindle enthusiasm, share ideas, learn and grow, even excite curiosity in one another. In our home it's golf, bicycle riding, working out and gourmet cooking. Sadly, I suspect that your adventures with the aquarium will subside once all the basics are achieved; then you all are left to watch; not unlike a TV. Then, the mission will once again becomes find something the two of you can take interest in an grow over time from it.  SignatureSD:) "Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.(A.E.)" My disclaimer: I can say, but can't make you see...(S.D.) > Sadly, I suspect that your adventures with the aquarium will subside > once all the basics are achieved; then you all are left to watch; > not > unlike a TV. That's not sad! That's when they get to reap the benefit of all their hard work!!! > Then, the mission will once again becomes find something > the two of you can take interest in an grow over time from it. Did I miss something? I wasn't reading too much in this thread since fish don't interest me, so I guess I missed where xkatx said they had problems in that area. Zorra > That's not sad! That's when they get to reap the benefit of all their > hard work!!! Reaping benefits watching while setting, isn't my idea of relationship benefits, it's my idea of another tv ... just with different moving things, not unlike a great screen saver. That's not to say aquariums aren't beautiful; they are ---- as are koi ponds. But, still home projects with conclusions; like redoing the kitchen, bedrooms, bathrooms, even landscape changes. I took notice of this many years back when a few husbands complained to me about their wife's constant remodeling projects. Yep, their both involved, but, neither husband was happy about the involvement for a few reasons. As far as I am concerned, home projects of sorts are not nearly as beneficial to a couple as sharing in a common on going interest that can develop different levels of interest over time. > Did I miss something? I wasn't reading too much in this thread since > fish don't interest me, so I guess I missed where xkatx said they had > problems in that area. Nope ... you missed nothing. >> That's not sad! That's when they get to reap the benefit of all >> their [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > benefits, it's my idea of another tv ... just with different moving > things, not unlike a great screen saver. I think of a fish tank as more like a picture or a figurine -- part of the decor. People don't tend to sit there and stare at them. Or if they do, it's specifically for the relaxing effect, not something done for hours at a time out of boredom. > That's not to say aquariums > aren't beautiful; they are ---- as are koi ponds. But, still home [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > can > develop different levels of interest over time. Okay, I see. Still, it's good that they were having fun. Maybe it's only one of many interests they share. Zorra >> Did I miss something? I wasn't reading too much in this thread >> since [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Nope ... you missed nothing. > ...ever since we got a new aquarium! > We picked up a nice custom 110gal aquarium the other day. N seems to have [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > We have some nice, slow music playing lightly in the background and it's > just kind of nice and fun. ;) This is NOT a pointless post. This is a nice post. A VERY nice post. Kitten > ...ever since we got a new aquarium! > We picked up a nice custom 110gal aquarium the other day. N seems to have [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > I've decided that I'll turn one of the small tanks into a tank for the > Venus Fly Trap That's pretty cool. We have a 150 gallon saltwater tank with a 100 gallon refugium attached to it. It's been running long enough now to be much less labor-intensive, but in the beginning, boy was the chemistry fun (that was my job, taking water samples and running a little chem lab, just as I had wanted to do since childhood). Really a fun hobby. Do you live near any large public aquaria? A. and see how that goes and then I think we can finally get rid of > all the small 20gal and less tanks. > We're both having fun with this new tank and spending time doing it [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > We have some nice, slow music playing lightly in the background and it's > just kind of nice and fun. ;) >> ...ever since we got a new aquarium! >> We picked up a nice custom 110gal aquarium the other day. N seems to [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > (that was my job, taking water samples and running a little chem lab, just > as I had wanted to do since childhood). That would be neat. I, personally, stay far, far away from marine. One of those BTDT things - as beautiful as marine is, it was more of just a short phase for me and I no longer care to put the time, effort, energy and money into a salt tank. However, when the money is there, a nice big marine tank is one thing I would love to have, complete with someone else to do the 'dirty' work for me. My patience is just too low for that LOL I can sit and watch saltwater, though, for hours! I went to a small true brackish tank with a figure 8 puffer in it. I only went with the figure 8 because he could have gone either way - salt or fresh - as an adult. I just kept it in a tiny brackish tank, and that was effort enough for me hehe > Really a fun hobby. Do you live near any large public aquaria? It definitely is. A nice tank is always an eye catcher no matter what. Neat fish grab attention and questions and it can turn into a nice bragging item! People seem to always ask about tanks and more often than not, it's a genuine interest from others regardless. We've had a couple friends who have turned into fish fanatics after they've seen ours in the past and now have some nice tanks going of their own. There's really nothing around here, though, as far as anything fish goes. We do have one fish store that has a huge shark tank and this place has a public 'shark feeding' on Tuesday evenings. There's also a few aquarium clubs here and there and there's the odd club auction on occasion. > A. > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >> We have some nice, slow music playing lightly in the background and it's >> just kind of nice and fun. ;) |
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