Family Forum / Marriage / Marriage / September 2007

Hominids have lived in small communities forever. The pair bond seems
to have always been there, but always also included same sex couples.
But in any case, if a couple broke up, it didnt affect the kids that
much because both parents were within walking distance. Kids didnt
need anyone to drive them to see grandparents, uncles, friends, or
mentors.

Everyone got more of the exercise they needed. Often, they all lived
in the same manorhall, Longhouse or whatever, and nobody could present
one face to one person, but another to another, without everyone
catching on. You lived and worked with the same people.

We evolved in villages, not cities, and we aint very good at living in
the latter. The churches, corporations, & government glorify marriage
because it is the minimal support system that can rear the next
generation of supporters. For most of us, the clan or extended family
no longer offer any support in any difficulties we have with any of
these larger organizations.

The author of "c.nt!" listed recent court decisions:
1- she dont need to provide sex, and can charge a husband with rape.
2- if she does have sex and gets pregnant, she can abort without his
consent.
3- if she takes it to term, he is responsible for it, and in most
jurisdictions, must support the kid even if the DNA shows it aint
his.
4- but even if it is, she can leave with the kids at any time and move
to a distant location, and move in with a stud muffin. Whether he has
a sexual abuse record or not. Hubby still hasta pay.

The author said she'd never marry anyone stupid enough to make a
contract like that. What rights do a husband have that a boyfriend
does not? That lack of reciprocity drives up divorce.

But maybe marriage was a bad idea in the first place. If we look at
the hominids, we see they evolved in tiny gene pools where genetic
diversity was such a priority that sexual novelty was instinctive. and
still is. In "The Forest People", an anthro classic on the Mbuti
Pygmi, 1/3 find a mate at puberty and stay with person all thru life.
1/3 go thru what we now call 'serial monogamy' and 1/3 are always
promiscuous. These tribes ran about 75 people. Nobody was looking for
Mr Write, there just wasnt that much to choose from.

There's lots choice now in the urban mass, but we really dont know who
we are choosing, and often come to regret the choice. But the
corporate interests like it that way. They sell us on the idea of
monogamy, profit off the wedding, then furnishing the house. Then
later they profit again selling the former husband another place to
live with another set of household goods. And the women become wage
slaves more often without a husband- much less the village, clan, or
tribe, to back them up while they look for more opportunity.

Lastly, monogamy has been a disaster since the birth control pill.
Many honorable men stayed faithful to wives who bore them no sons, and
they are out of the gene pool. Meanwhile, the charming philanderers
have sired bastards all over the county to be raised on welfare.

So- when Dr. Laura says "you picked him honey." Ya, but what do the
young women now have to pick *from*?