Just back home from my niece's wedding...

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Doug Laidlaw - 20 Jan 2008 12:35 GMT

And like Samuel Pepys the diarist, thought: "strange to see what delight we
married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition."

DL.

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Doug Laidlaw - 21 Jan 2008 04:56 GMT

> And like Samuel Pepys the diarist, thought: "strange to see what delight
> we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our
> condition."
>
> DL.

My wife has just told me again that everybody in this world exists wholly
and solely for her convenience (What's new?) She wants to take advantage of
a social occasion (our grandchild's baptism) to ask her diabetes nurse (who
happens to be an in-law) for a professional consultation. When I told her
that one doesn't treat family like that, she replied that the nurse isn't
family. I suppose that otherwise, she would not be fair game???

I have put up with being treated like that myself for 35 years. As far as I
am concerned, the marriage is over.

DL.

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Vickie - 21 Jan 2008 05:29 GMT

> > And like Samuel Pepys the diarist, thought: "strange to see what delight
> > we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
>
> DL.

I must have missed how she has been treating you....
She is making a huge faux pas at the baptism and probably is going to
make some people (you included) uncomfortable with her diabetes
"networking" or whatever, but why is it that *this* is what makes you
consider the marriage over? Am I missing something?

Vickie

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zorra - 21 Jan 2008 07:25 GMT

>> And like Samuel Pepys the diarist, thought: "strange to see what
>> delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
> I have put up with being treated like that myself for 35 years. As
> far as I am concerned, the marriage is over.

Is it really? For all your unhappiness, I have always thought that divorce was
not something you'd considered.

Zorra

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Doug Laidlaw - 31 Jan 2008 14:34 GMT

>>> And like Samuel Pepys the diarist, thought: "strange to see what
>>> delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into
[quoted text clipped - 16 lines]
>
> Zorra

No, I am still here. I just wish... and wish ... and wish. Our only
separation lasted 12 hours.

I have the strange dilemma that half of me wants marriage, and the other
half would prefer that there was no such thing. I really enjoy brief
casual encounters with women - the kind of conversation with a receptionist
or something equally brief. But an ongoing relationship is like a diet of
cream-cakes, like having "partridge, always partridge" as the story goes.
I seem to have settled into a deeper, more constant level of depression.
The incident about the nurse - it is just my training, that one keeps work
at work and does not take advantage of people on social occasions. She
said that she could not get in to see the doctor for weeks, but that
doesn't stop her ringing the nurse at the same address. She does get weird
at times, like wanting to take a family photo at my mother's funeral. She
wouldn't listen to me, but fortunately she did listen to our daughter. At
least one of the grandchildren had been crying her eyes out.

I am just fed up at being unable to feel, unable to be human, and as my wife
says, I take it out on her. She has been doing her best to be sensitive
and caring. It makes me feel like a misfit.

Doug.

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zorra - 31 Jan 2008 21:29 GMT

>>>> And like Samuel Pepys the diarist, thought: "strange to see what
>>>> delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into
[quoted text clipped - 41 lines]
>
> Doug.

Well, I definitely want marriage, and I have no trouble with partridge every
night, but the part about "wish...and wish...and wish" I can relate to. I wish
for you too, that you could find peace and even happiness.

Zorra

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Rog' - 21 Jan 2008 11:17 GMT

> My wife has just told me again that everybody in this world exists
> wholly and solely for her convenience (What's new?) She wants
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
> I have put up with being treated like that myself for 35 years. As
> far as I am concerned, the marriage is over.

"Just say no." Sounds like she's a well-honed manipulator for
whom taking advantage of others is just part of game. We see
these folks in all walks of life, not just marriages. About all you
can do is create strong set of boundaries, let them stew in their
own juices, and keep a boot on their necks.

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Family Forum / Marriage / Marriage / January 2008

Just back home from my niece's wedding...