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Family Forum / Parenting / Mothers / April 2008Asperger's Question
CNN has been doing an in depth story on Autism and Aspergers, well what I want to know is this, the more I hear about Aspergers, the more convinced my husband is an Aspie. He also has seen the reports and says it's like looking in the mirror. He is not diagnosed but what I want to k now is, would it be worth us getting an official diagnosis?  SignatureFroggy > CNN has been doing an in depth story on Autism and Aspergers, well what > I want to know is this, the more I hear about Aspergers, the more [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > -- > Froggy The question then I think you should ask yourself. "How would having an official diagnosis help?" If he has problems functioning maybe a Therapist can help but even there the diagnosis would not really be important as long as the therapist has enough understanding of his personal situation to help him improve his live. "Official Diagnosis" IMO are good for Insurance companies IEP meetings. To Get SSI benefits. or similar benefits. Maybe to get a Therapist up to speed when you get a new one. Otherwise you are what you are - namely you and if you are happy and don't have problems then it does not matter much what you might get called in some medicine book. If you feel you need help - get some from someone who can give it. And as that is an individual thing - well the diagnosis might just help the Therapist look up things to help you. But otherwise.... Well if you come down to it - we all probably could qualify for some kind of diagnosis.. And then .... He might not even qualify. Because in almost every case in the DSM-IV that I looked up after all the symptoms described it usually says And above symptoms prevent you from functioning properly in society... or something to that effect Guess the bottom line question then for him would be... Does he function? FS Victim of FDS (Financial Depletion Syndrome. Main Symptom: As Soon as money comes in it flows right out towards some creditor to cover a debt. <G>) > > CNN has been doing an in depth story on Autism and Aspergers, well > > what I want to know is this, the more I hear about Aspergers, the [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > therapist has enough understanding of his personal situation to help > him improve his live. The only thing that really is a hinderence to him is the anxiety attacks he gets often. He takes Xanax for that. > "Official Diagnosis" IMO are good for > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > well the diagnosis might just help the Therapist look up things to > help you. But otherwise.... Personally, I don't think he needs the diagnosis, but then again I'm not a doctor or whatever. Everything seems to make sense to us though. The little quirks he has would sometimes drive me nuts, but now I understand and less likely to drve me batty :) It just makes more sense, ya know? > Well if you come down to it - we all probably could qualify for some > kind of diagnosis.. [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > Guess the bottom line question then for him would be... Does he > function? Um, yes but not easily. When he deals with other people he gets frustrated easily. Otherwise, yes. He's 32 and has a family and a job, so apart from that, he's ok. > FS > Victim of FDS (Financial Depletion Syndrome. Main Symptom: As Soon as > money comes in it flows right out towards some creditor to cover a > debt. <G>) Thanks, I just didn't know if it was really worth the time and $$$ just to have it on paper. SignatureFroggy. >>Snippage<< >> Guess the bottom line question then for him would be... Does he >> function? [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > Thanks, I just didn't know if it was really worth the time and $$$ > just to have it on paper. Froggy, Just a thought to ponder. Having a diagnosis on paper can be a more of a problem than any kind of a solution. Some diagnoses will make insurance companies sit up and take notice. Plus if he ever needs to change jobs, and insurance if you don't have any lapse in covereage this could be seen as a preexisting condition and then tear apart any claims filed. It's just something to think about. If he needs treatment, then yes indeed he needs a diagnosis and the proper care. But if it us just to give you confirmation of what you already think, it might be better to leave it be. Just my thought. We've had to deal with some major problems with some of my medical diagnoses depending on the insurance company. Cindi >Froggy, > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >Just my thought. We've had to deal with some major problems with some of my >medical diagnoses depending on the insurance company. Amen! Nan > > > Snippage<< > [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > > > -- Froggy. Thanks, I have thought about the insurance implecations and dh and I are on the same page, he's made it this far without the label, he can go the rest of the way too. :) Thanks for your advice! SignatureFroggy > d...@hush.ai wrote: > > > CNN has been doing an in depth story on Autism and Aspergers, well [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > The only thing that really is a hinderence to him is the anxiety > attacks he gets often. He takes Xanax for that. Has he tried breathing exercises - you know kinda like LaMaze (spelling) hes helped at least 3 people I know with anxiety attacs. Takes some practice - but seems to work - and you don't want to do it as obvious as during giving birth - more subtle but with focus. And then while you are doing that for a little - try going to a "nice" place inside of you. This is also all DW got from the therapist when she had them. That and trying to figure out what is on the root of it. With DW it was DS's Developmental problems. Maybe with him it is the social interactions that seem to be difficult. If you know what will bring them on you can already start relaxing yourself before they start. > > "Official Diagnosis" IMO are good for > [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > > - Show quoted text - > > d...@hush.ai wrote: > > > > CNN has been doing an in depth story on Autism and Aspergers, [quoted text clipped - 79 lines] > > > > - Show quoted text - Thanks for that! I honestly only know one of the triggers for his attacks but I'll talk to him about these exercises. SignatureFroggy >The only thing that really is a hinderence to him is the anxiety >attacks he gets often. He takes Xanax for that. I used to get anxiety attacks in public places. I felt like I was going crazy. I'd be in a complete panic until I got myself OUT of the situation that was making me feel so weird. >Personally, I don't think he needs the diagnosis, but then again I'm >not a doctor or whatever. Everything seems to make sense to us though. >The little quirks he has would sometimes drive me nuts, but now I >understand and less likely to drve me batty :) It just makes more >sense, ya know? Yep, I understand. Now you can look beyond the quirks to understand and help him. There is a lot of info available, even without getting a dx if you decide to go that route. >Um, yes but not easily. When he deals with other people he gets >frustrated easily. Otherwise, yes. He's 32 and has a family and a >job, so apart from that, he's ok. If the symptom is or becomes a hindrance it may be worthwhile to get a dx, otherwise you can probably find out much of what you need by doing some research. I gave myself the dx of having OCD. My family doctor treats my symptoms without needing to label me for insurance purposes, which is much nicer for my situation. >Thanks, I just didn't know if it was really worth the time and $$$ >just to have it on paper. It all depends on your situation. It can be if it's severe or not, but generally my opinion is that it's not worth it. For kids that need help, I'd say it would be worth it. Nan > > The only thing that really is a hinderence to him is the anxiety > > attacks he gets often. He takes Xanax for that. [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > > Nan I agree, hubby and I both feel that he's made it this far, why bother. It's not hurting him, however, it does explain a LOT to me on why he does the things he does. SignatureFroggy. > CNN has been doing an in depth story on Autism and Aspergers, well what > I want to know is this, the more I hear about Aspergers, the more > convinced my husband is an Aspie. He also has seen the reports and > says it's like looking in the mirror. He is not diagnosed but what I > want to k now is, would it be worth us getting an official diagnosis? soapbox Some times I wish it was back in the old days when there was only 3 hours of tv a night, and the radio was mainly request shows and book serials. TMI for everyone to get tangled up. And way too easy to make every non perfect bit of everyone's personalities a medical problem. Some people are just ornery, and some find tantrums a perfectly logical way of relieving pressure. /soapbox Yes, I've seen similar shows, must be Aspie week or something. DS may have some traits that are similar. No, not interested in a diagnosis. He just needs to learn to cope with the world somehow, which I'll support him in. Heck some of it sounds like me too. But, if you can't handle the way I am go and join the others on the other side of the road. Not saying this applies to you at all, but some use it as an excuse to get away with more bad behaviour "Oh, but darling is this-or-that, so they can't help it". Load of tommyrot. I guess my vote is no. The breathing exercises sound like a good thing to try out. Good luck. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Marc >> CNN has been doing an in depth story on Autism and Aspergers, well what >> I want to know is this, the more I hear about Aspergers, the more [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Marc You sound like my dh :-))) And I agree with everything you've said! I do know a few people that truly need the dx so they can receive help. On the flipside of TMI being available, it does make it easier for people to research symptoms and whatnot so they can understand themselves much better. I was able to realize I have OCD tendencies by doing online research. Same with having had PPD after ds was born 20-odd years ago when the info wasn't widespread to the general public and I was afraid to tell anyone how I felt. I can see both sides pretty clearly. Nan > > CNN has been doing an in depth story on Autism and Aspergers, well > > what I want to know is this, the more I hear about Aspergers, the [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Marc I understand your frustration, however, there are some out there that this information could truly help. With hubby and I, it was just a question as to the possiblities of Tadpole inheriting it. And Yes it does make sense with some of his behaviors, not excuses it. SignatureFroggy Marc schrieb: > soapbox > Some times I wish it was back in the old days when there was only 3 [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > I guess my vote is no. The breathing exercises sound like a good thing > to try out. Good luck. Whatever TMI may be, but I actually face a similar problem, in my case it is a family history with -let's say varieties of social ineptness. Some of them have been diagnosed, some haven't, but now it is my son, and my and my DHs decision to have him diagnosed for Asperger or not. We are relatively sure he has it, and so far refused diagnosis on the ground that it wouldn't have helped him, he gets the treatment he needs anyhow based on some less serious sounding stuff they diagnosed him with, but now his school tells us we need to follow through with the Asperger diagnosis in autumn because we need to think of the school he will change to in grade 5. They say as far as they have seen him in classes, he is unable to change to a regular school then, but the type of school he's in only exists for elementary level. So for him the solution has to be a form called "Integrationsklasse" in German, a regular class with around three to four pupils who are challenged, mostly because of varieties of behavioral problems. Those classes usually have three main teachers in spite of one, at least in elementary level, I am not sure how it is handled in secondary level. At least there will be an extra teacher in class who has had a special training for such kids. DD happens to be in such a class (as a normal kid, not on one of those places for the challenged kids, and also in elementary school), and I think it is great for her. She gets quite a lot of attention when she needs it, and that has obviously helped her to overcome her concentration problems that the teachers were worried about after the first half of the school year. But still, it means a tag we are getting stuck onto DS if we follow through with the diagnosis, and there are enough uneducated people around who would without thinking twice sort DS into the "mentally ill" category, where he absolutely not belongs. We will most likely do it, even I can see his chances of getting an education according to his possibilities are slim when he has to visit a regular school as a regular pupil in a class of 30. But that doesn't help me being worried about problems he may face later on because of that tag. I can only hope and pray it will all turn out to be good at the end of it. Gruß, Sema >>snipped educational information<< > We will most likely do it, even I can see his chances of getting an > education according to his possibilities are slim when he has to visit a > regular school as a regular pupil in a class of 30. But that doesn't help > me being worried about problems he may face later on because of that tag. > I can only hope and pray it will all turn out to be good at the end of it. I think it is such a sad statement that a diagnosis can have such a far reaching effect into other parts of our lives. I remember kids I grew up with who needed some help in speech, reading, math, or whatever. So what. After everyone graduated and went into the world it didn't matter who was in special education classes or speech therapy or whatever we all just sort of evened out. Now it seems that everyone gets a tag and they have to live with it forever. It's a very prejudice reflection in my opinion. It's like having certain diagnoses when you are applying for life insurance or if you have any lapse in health insurance here in the states. Diabetes, high blood pressure, asthma, hepatitis, just a few that will add fortunes to your premiums if you can even find a company willing to issue coverage. I wouldn't let my child go without necessary care and treatment just to save them from having a diagnosis, but I am careful and thoughful of what each diagnosis is that doctors decide my children need. It's so hard when you have to consider how a childhood challenge may effect them for the rest of their lives. I hope that you and DH can get the right diagnosis and superior education to meet DS' needs. Hopefully whatever diagnoses he gets means an excellent adaptive education. I am certainly not being critical of the need to have DS diagnosed, I just think it's sad that we have to sit down and seriously think about it. Cindi > Gruß, > Sema >CNN has been doing an in depth story on Autism and Aspergers, well what >I want to know is this, the more I hear about Aspergers, the more >convinced my husband is an Aspie. He also has seen the reports and >says it's like looking in the mirror. He is not diagnosed but what I >want to k now is, would it be worth us getting an official diagnosis? Unless he is having a lot of trouble functioning in life, I don't see that an official diagnosis will help. For some aspies, though, the diagnosis gives them some insight into themselves that they did not have before. For children, diagnosis in the US usually means that you can get more services from the school district than you can without one, but that does come with insurance problems unless you are in a state that has a law that says that insurance companies must cover the therapies kids need. SignatureDorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits |
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