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Family Forum / Parenting / Mothers / May 2008Vent Vent Venty Vent!
This week I started some landscaping at the cemetery, on my dad and step-mom's sites. I checked with the office at the cemetery and an old friend of mine that works there looked up the records and let me know F's (step mom) family hasn't made arrangements for a base to be poured for a headstone. I guess they're poured a few times a year. Anyway, we talked and I let her know I'd be doing some work and asked if the maintenance people could clear away the sod and waste I took up, and if F's kids had issue and confronted her she could refer them to me. Normally, I really enjoy planting and landscaping.... and the cemetery is very peaceful. I like to take a break and listen to the birds, and "talk to" my mom or dad while I work. But yesterday, negativity kept getting in the way of that so I want to vent here, instead. I want to feel that peaceful feeling while I work, not the anger I felt yesterday. So if you ladies don't mind..... I REALLY think it stinks that F's family has behaved they way they are behaving!!!! My back, legs and arms are sore from digging up sod and tearing up roots and normally I would LIKE that kind of soreness! Here I am, with very limited $$ to use to do this and her kids have got so much more $$$, yet they can't be bothered to buy their mother a freakin' headstone for doG's sake!!!! Not to mention that her son-in-law owns a (&)(*#(%*^@#)^$ LANDSCAPING BUSINESS yet he can't be bothered to beautify a patch of land where she's buried!!!! <end rant> Whew... Anyway, even though I can't afford much in the way of planting, my plan is to add 4 more pieces of curved scallop edging (I had the other pieces already), add a bunch of mulch and some marigolds. Flats of annuals are about $12 so that's not bad. Also, I found an empty lot out here with a large area of daylilies and the office said I could dig them up so I plan to transplant those to the area as well. I took a $1 stepping stone I bought over the weekend and re-painted it, adding some decoupage and F's name and dates to it. It's really pretty. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, guys... Nan <runs in to give Nan a *big bear* hug> Will be back later in the week if things go according to plan. Waves. <runs off again>  SignatureMo ><runs in to give Nan a *big bear* hug> > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > ><runs off again> Don't trip over that rock!! :-) Thanks for the hug! Nan > This week I started some landscaping at the cemetery, on my dad and > step-mom's sites. Nan, you have bigger heart most. What you are doing makes you better than them, so don't let it get to you. Signaturescrum (\_/) Procrastinator bunny says: ( . .) "I'll conquer the internets tomorrow" C(")(") >> This week I started some landscaping at the cemetery, on my dad and >> step-mom's sites. > >Nan, you have bigger heart most. What you are doing makes you better >than them, so don't let it get to you. Thanks hon, I think I'm feeling more of an "I just don't get it" type of thing, you know? Nan > This week I started some landscaping at the cemetery, on my dad and > step-mom's sites. [quoted text clipped - 43 lines] > > Nan I'm not one that puts a lot of importance on what happens to the remains after someone dies, but I agree with you that if they went to the trouble and expense of having her buried in a cemetary, they ought to at least show some care and concern about her plot. You did a good thing, and even if you get no thanks, it was still good. Did you take your daughters? I have a lot of vivid memories of my mom taking me to cemetaries when I was little, to plant flowers on relatives' graves. She took my boys when they were little too. I used to think it was weird, but now I think it's pretty cool. >I'm not one that puts a lot of importance on what happens to the remains >after someone dies, Neither am I, really. I've told my family that whatever they choose to do with my remains is fine with me, but my preference would be to donate whatever organs can be used then cremate the rest. >but I agree with you that if they went to the trouble >and expense of having her buried in a cemetary, they ought to at least show >some care and concern about her plot. Exactly. A lot of grave sites aren't well-maintained aside from the cutting and trimming the city does, but not putting at least a plaque honoring her place is just wrong to me. >You did a good thing, and even if you >get no thanks, it was still good. :-) I know I'm not doing it for the thanks, but it does make me feel better. She deserves to be honored, just like everyone else does. >Did you take your daughters? I have a lot of vivid memories of my mom >taking me to cemetaries when I was little, to plant flowers on relatives' >graves. She took my boys when they were little too. I used to think it was >weird, but now I think it's pretty cool. I used to take my ds when I'd plant at my mom's site. He decided he didn't like going at first so I didn't push it. After a while he was okay with it. It was nice to work together. I took A this week since I stay home during the day and she was *pretty* good, but I ended up bringing her home and dh kept her while I went back and finished up. E said she wants to go help plant the flowers we bought, so I'll take her, even though she's never known my parents. I remember going to the cemetery every Memorial Day so my mom could plant flowers at my grandma and uncles' sites. Nan > This week I started some landscaping at the cemetery, on my dad and > step-mom's sites. [quoted text clipped - 41 lines] > > Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, guys... Good on ya Nan for doing what you believe should be done, wish I could help with the digging. Marc >Good on ya Nan for doing what you believe should be done, wish I could >help with the digging. > >Marc Thanks Marc :-) Nan |
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