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Family Forum / Parenting / Mothers / June 2008Bullying at school
As you know I didn't want the kids in public school, this year has been a challenge but I must admit B. is learning by leaps and bounds. Lately there has been some teasing about her extra thumb. The teacher has handled it by telling B. that she is tattling and sends her back to play, This is from B's account. There is only 3 days left of school and she told me this on Monday. Today I got a call from the principal saying that 3 boys where bullying B. and where pulling up her dress and trying to put dirt in her underwear. It was seen by a teacher and dealt with very swiftly. Tomorrow is the Zoo trip and according to B. the 3 boys are not going to the zoo with their class. (the school never updated me with the punishment, just got an apology from the principal saying that it would be dealt with) *sigh* what a way to end Kindergarten. I am a little disappointed in B's teacher this year as far as communication goes. When I have talked to her about teasing in the past she claimed no knowledge even when we told her that B was saying she was being teased. Then to find out she was now telling b not to tattle, we had told her to tell the teacher right away because she would make it stop. *Sigh again* Only 3 days left, then a whole new teacher to get used to. Tori Dont you HATE that! The teachers tell the kids if they are being bullied to tell them, and then when they do, they get told o go away!! Stupid teachers. I gave up on that, I taught my kids to enpower themselves. To tell the child who is bothering them, to STOP I DONT LIKE THAT! And keep yelling until they go away. That seems to work on most kids. I also sent a note to the teacher explaining as she hasnt listened to my child about bullying I have told her what to do and please dont stop her UNLESS she will put a stop to it. Amazingly bullying stopped for a while. Then a few yrs later, kids tried it again, this time my kids came up with their own way of dealing with it. My oldest daughter says to anyone who is doing any kind of bullying, "Oh, someone is feeling unloved, come here, ill give you a hug" and then tries to hug them. HAHA, it worked. My youngest decided to just laugh, and she points at them and laughs and laughs and laughs......the bullies HATE that and leave her alone now. Anyway, maybe your daughter can come up with some inventive solution too. All the best Fiona > As you know I didn't want the kids in public school, this year has been a > challenge but I must admit B. is learning by leaps and bounds. Lately [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > Tori >My oldest daughter says to anyone who is doing any kind of bullying, "Oh, >someone is feeling unloved, come here, ill give you a hug" and then tries to >hug them. >HAHA, it worked Hey, where did she learn the alt.mothers technique for dealing with trolls? <vgg>  SignatureDorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits she hasnt learned that yet :P >>My oldest daughter says to anyone who is doing any kind of bullying, "Oh, >>someone is feeling unloved, come here, ill give you a hug" and then tries [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Hey, where did she learn the alt.mothers technique for dealing with > trolls? <vgg> >As you know I didn't want the kids in public school, this year has been >a challenge but I must admit B. is learning by leaps and bounds. Lately [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >punishment, just got an apology from the principal saying that it would >be dealt with) They don't say what the punishment is - they treat this somewhat as a personnel matter would be treated, for privacy. However, sounds like the punishment was being grounded from the zoo trip (or even being suspended at least that day), which is exactly what your girl needed to enjoy her zoo trip! Horray. I would have a conversation with her teacher about this tattling thing - exactly how is it that she is distinguishing between tattling (which does occur with kids) and her going to her teacher for the help she needs when she needs it. Then you'd know if the teacher really has been blowing her off, or if perhaps she has been running to the teacher with ever little thing she sees. It would be enlightening, either way. Banty [snip] > I would have a conversation with her teacher about > this tattling thing - exactly how is it that she is > distinguishing between tattling (which does occur > with kids) and her going to her teacher for the help > she needs when she needs it. [snip] There are ways of distinguishing between a tattle and a need. *Usually* -- and kinders are no different than all other students up to 4th grade -- in tattling, the child starts off with another child's name. "Johnny picked his nose." Conversely, if it affects them directly, such as physical or mental bullying, he or she will start off the conversation with a personal statement, using "I." "I got hurt." The Ranger >[snip] >> I would have a conversation with her teacher about [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >mental bullying, he or she will start off the conversation with >a personal statement, using "I." "I got hurt." Yep. It's possible that she *is* tattling *and* having problems with bullies. Perhaps trying to handle it by tattling on the bullies. Not that that *is* happening. But it's really worth a discussion with the teacher. It can't be assumed that she is coming to the teacher for help with bullying, then being dismissed as a tattler. Other things than that may be happening. So talk to the teacher about it. Banty [snip] > It's possible that she *is* tattling *and* having > problems with bullies. Perhaps trying to handle > it by tattling on the bullies. Not that that *is* > happening. It's possible that she's combining both in an effort to communicate. That requires a more understanding from the teacher to be able to distinguish... > But it's really worth a discussion with the teacher. Without a doubt, setting up a meeting to talk with the teacher is the next step. The Ranger > [snip] >> It's possible that she *is* tattling *and* having [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > The Ranger Is it worth it at this point? only today tomorrow and 1/2 day Friday. Friday is K. Graduation so it is barely a half day. I was told that the teacher liked to communicate via email and note to the class. I have not found that to be true, in fact the few times I did send notes in I felt ignored. I have tried hard not to be momzilla about this all as I know I am biased about it. V. >> [snip] >>> It's possible that she *is* tattling *and* having [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] >felt ignored. I have tried hard not to be momzilla about this all as I >know I am biased about it. It still would be worthwhile to get a fuller read on the situation. You'll find out more about your daughter's way of handling the situation from that, perhaps. It's not just to change things that a parent would want to talk with a teacher. Banty >>> But it's really worth a discussion with the teacher. >> >> Without a doubt, setting up a meeting to talk with >> the teacher is the next step. >> > Is it worth it at this point? [..] In any long-term sub I've done, my first and foremost task is getting parents to come directly to me about any questions and concerns they might have. It didn't matter if it was the first week I was there or the last day of school. Every teacher's different, though, and she might just be as checked out as the kids at this point. You'll be able to read it best. The Ranger >In any long-term sub I've done, my first and foremost task is >getting parents to come directly to me about any questions and >concerns they might have. It didn't matter if it was the first >week I was there or the last day of school. Speaking of subbing, I have a Q if you don't mind.... I'm preparing to apply for a sub position in our school district. I'm aware that every district has it's own set of requirements to become a sub, but I'm wondering how different (or similar) our district might be.... if you don't mind (and I completely understand if you do mind) what are the requirements you needed to become a sub? Nan >>In any long-term sub I've done, my first and foremost task is >>getting parents to come directly to me about any questions and [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] >be.... if you don't mind (and I completely understand if you do mind) >what are the requirements you needed to become a sub? I'm not Ranger, but I have also subbed. In Illinois, the only requirement was a that you have a degree. Some places had you take a competency test (it was about on the 6th grade level when I took it in Chicago). In some states you do not need a college degree. You will need to complete a criminal background check and have a recent medical exam. You also have to pay a small fee with your application for processing. Here is a list of requirements by state http://www.teacher-world.com/substitute-teacher.html >Nan SignatureDorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits >I'm not Ranger, but I have also subbed. In Illinois, the only >requirement was a that you have a degree. Some places had you take a [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >Here is a list of requirements by state >http://www.teacher-world.com/substitute-teacher.html Awesome website, Dorothy. Thanks! Nan >In some states you do not need a college degree. I thought NCLB changed that. If not, what's the point of NCLB? SignatureI never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond. Mae West [snip] > I thought NCLB changed that. If not, what's the point > of NCLB? It's simple Federal posturing. The Ranger [snip] > what are the requirements you needed to become a sub? In the PRC (People's [DemoKratic] Republic of Californicatedia), Northern Fiefdom, the short-term candidates are required to: 1) Have a BA/BS; 2) Have a current passing score on their CBEST; 3) Pay a "nominal" fee for the emergency credential (a certificate); 4) Put up with phone calls starting at 0530 (that ay-yem) and potentially running until 2200 (pee-emm). Bone-us points for long-term candidates: CSET & RICA passing scores, first-aid/CPR trained, credentialed. The Ranger >[snip] >> what are the requirements you needed to become a sub? [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > >The Ranger Thanks for the info. Here, a candidate needs a min. of 30 hours of college, so no degree is necessary. I have an Assoc. degree and 'not quite' enough hours for a BA. I'm considered a 'senior' with the hours I've acquired. Plus the background check and paying for the short-term cert. Thanks for replying! Nan |
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