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Bullying at school

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Vicki - 04 Jun 2008 07:06 GMT
As you know I didn't want the kids in public school, this year has been
a challenge but I must admit B. is learning by leaps and bounds.  Lately
there has been some teasing about her extra thumb. The teacher has
handled it by telling B. that she is tattling and sends her back to
play, This is from B's account.  There is only 3 days left of school and
she told me this on Monday.

Today I got a call from the principal saying that 3 boys where bullying
B. and where pulling up her dress and trying to put dirt in her
underwear.  It was seen by a teacher and dealt with very swiftly.
Tomorrow is the Zoo trip and according to B. the 3 boys are not going to
 the zoo with their class. (the school never updated me with the
punishment, just got an apology from the principal saying that it would
be dealt with)
*sigh* what a way to end Kindergarten.  I am a little disappointed in
B's teacher this year as far as communication goes.  When I have talked
to her about teasing in the past she claimed no knowledge even when we
told her that B was saying she was being teased.  Then to find out she
was now telling b not to tattle, we had told her to tell the teacher
right away because she would make it stop. *Sigh again*

Only 3 days left, then a whole new teacher to get used to.

Tori
FeeFiFoFum - 04 Jun 2008 12:12 GMT
Dont you HATE that!
The teachers tell the kids if they are being bullied to tell them, and then
when they do, they get told o go away!!
Stupid teachers.
I gave up on that, I taught my kids to enpower themselves.
To tell the child who is bothering them, to STOP I DONT LIKE THAT!
And keep yelling until they go away. That seems to work on most kids.
I also sent a note to the teacher explaining as she hasnt listened to my
child about bullying I have told her what to do and please dont stop her
UNLESS she will put a stop to it.
Amazingly bullying stopped for a while.
Then a few yrs later, kids tried it again, this time my kids came up with
their own way of dealing with it.
My oldest daughter says to anyone who is doing any kind of bullying, "Oh,
someone is feeling unloved, come here, ill give you a hug" and then tries to
hug them.
HAHA, it worked.
My youngest decided to just laugh, and she points at them and laughs and
laughs and laughs......the bullies HATE that and leave her alone now.
Anyway, maybe your daughter can come up with some inventive solution too.
All the best
Fiona

> As you know I didn't want the kids in public school, this year has been a
> challenge but I must admit B. is learning by leaps and bounds.  Lately
[quoted text clipped - 19 lines]
>
> Tori
toto - 04 Jun 2008 19:28 GMT
>My oldest daughter says to anyone who is doing any kind of bullying, "Oh,
>someone is feeling unloved, come here, ill give you a hug" and then tries to
>hug them.
>HAHA, it worked

Hey, where did she learn the alt.mothers technique for dealing with
trolls?  <vgg>

Signature

Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

FeeFiFoFum - 04 Jun 2008 21:18 GMT
she hasnt learned that yet

:P

>>My oldest daughter says to anyone who is doing any kind of bullying, "Oh,
>>someone is feeling unloved, come here, ill give you a hug" and then tries
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> Hey, where did she learn the alt.mothers technique for dealing with
> trolls?  <vgg>
Banty - 04 Jun 2008 13:00 GMT
>As you know I didn't want the kids in public school, this year has been
>a challenge but I must admit B. is learning by leaps and bounds.  Lately
[quoted text clipped - 10 lines]
>punishment, just got an apology from the principal saying that it would
>be dealt with)

They don't say what the punishment is - they treat this somewhat as a personnel
matter would be treated, for privacy.  However, sounds like the punishment was
being grounded from the zoo trip (or even being suspended at least that day),
which is exactly what your girl needed to enjoy her zoo trip!   Horray.

I would have a conversation with her teacher about this tattling thing - exactly
how is it that she is distinguishing between tattling (which does occur with
kids) and her going to her teacher for the help she needs when she needs it.
Then you'd know if the teacher really has been blowing her off, or if perhaps
she has been running to the teacher with ever little thing she sees.  It would
be enlightening, either way.

Banty
The Ranger - 04 Jun 2008 14:45 GMT
[snip]
> I would have a conversation with her teacher about
> this tattling thing - exactly how is it that she is
> distinguishing between tattling (which does occur
> with kids) and her going to her teacher for the help
> she needs when she needs it.
[snip]

There are ways of distinguishing between a tattle and a need.
*Usually* -- and kinders are no different than all other
students up to 4th grade -- in tattling, the child starts off
with another child's name. "Johnny picked his nose."
Conversely, if it affects them directly, such as physical or
mental bullying, he or she will start off the conversation with
a personal statement, using "I." "I got hurt."

The Ranger
Banty - 04 Jun 2008 15:02 GMT
>[snip]
>> I would have a conversation with her teacher about
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
>mental bullying, he or she will start off the conversation with
>a personal statement, using "I." "I got hurt."

Yep.

It's possible that she *is* tattling *and* having problems with bullies.
Perhaps trying to handle it by tattling on the bullies.  Not that that *is*
happening.  But it's really worth a discussion with the teacher.  It can't be
assumed that she is coming to the teacher for help with bullying, then being
dismissed as a tattler.  Other things than that may be happening.  So talk to
the teacher about it.

Banty
The Ranger - 04 Jun 2008 15:17 GMT
[snip]
> It's possible that she *is* tattling *and* having
> problems with bullies. Perhaps trying to handle
> it by tattling on the bullies.  Not that that *is*
> happening.

It's possible that she's combining both in an effort to
communicate. That requires a more understanding from the
teacher to be able to distinguish...

> But it's really worth a discussion with the teacher.

Without a doubt, setting up a meeting to talk with the teacher
is the next step.

The Ranger
Vicki - 04 Jun 2008 18:11 GMT
> [snip]
>> It's possible that she *is* tattling *and* having
[quoted text clipped - 12 lines]
>
> The Ranger

Is it worth it at this point? only today tomorrow and 1/2 day Friday.
Friday is K. Graduation so it is barely a half day.  I was told that the
teacher liked to communicate via email and note to the class.  I have
not found that to be true, in fact the few times I did send notes in I
felt ignored.  I have tried hard not to be momzilla about this all as I
know I am biased about it.

V.
Banty - 04 Jun 2008 18:34 GMT
>> [snip]
>>> It's possible that she *is* tattling *and* having
[quoted text clipped - 19 lines]
>felt ignored.  I have tried hard not to be momzilla about this all as I
>know I am biased about it.

It still would be worthwhile to get a fuller read on the situation.  You'll find
out more about your daughter's way of handling the situation from that, perhaps.

It's not just to change things that a parent would want to talk with a teacher.

Banty
The Ranger - 04 Jun 2008 19:02 GMT
>>> But it's really worth a discussion with the teacher.
>>
>> Without a doubt, setting up a meeting to talk with
>> the teacher is the next step.
>>
> Is it worth it at this point? [..]

In any long-term sub I've done, my first and foremost task is
getting parents to come directly to me about any questions and
concerns they might have. It didn't matter if it was the first
week I was there or the last day of school.

Every teacher's different, though, and she might just be as
checked out as the kids at this point. You'll be able to read
it best.

The Ranger
Nan - 04 Jun 2008 19:50 GMT
>In any long-term sub I've done, my first and foremost task is
>getting parents to come directly to me about any questions and
>concerns they might have. It didn't matter if it was the first
>week I was there or the last day of school.

Speaking of subbing, I have a Q if you don't mind....
I'm preparing to apply for a sub position in our school district.  I'm
aware that every district has it's own set of requirements to become a
sub, but I'm wondering how different (or similar) our district might
be.... if you don't mind (and I completely understand if you do mind)
what are the requirements you needed to become a sub?

Nan
toto - 04 Jun 2008 20:51 GMT
>>In any long-term sub I've done, my first and foremost task is
>>getting parents to come directly to me about any questions and
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
>be.... if you don't mind (and I completely understand if you do mind)
>what are the requirements you needed to become a sub?

I'm not Ranger, but I have also subbed.  In Illinois, the only
requirement was a that you have a degree.  Some places had you take a
competency test (it was about on the 6th grade level when I took it in
Chicago).  

In some states you do not need a college degree.  

You will need to complete a criminal background check and have a
recent medical exam.  You also have to pay a small fee with your
application for processing.

Here is a list of requirements by state
http://www.teacher-world.com/substitute-teacher.html

>Nan

Signature

Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

Nan - 05 Jun 2008 14:50 GMT
>I'm not Ranger, but I have also subbed.  In Illinois, the only
>requirement was a that you have a degree.  Some places had you take a
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
>Here is a list of requirements by state
>http://www.teacher-world.com/substitute-teacher.html

Awesome website, Dorothy.  Thanks!

Nan
sf - 28 Jun 2008 07:39 GMT
>In some states you do not need a college degree.  

I thought NCLB changed that.  If not, what's the point of NCLB?

Signature

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

Mae West

The Ranger - 29 Jun 2008 06:07 GMT
[snip]
> I thought NCLB changed that.  If not, what's the point
> of NCLB?

It's simple Federal posturing.

The Ranger
The Ranger - 04 Jun 2008 21:56 GMT
[snip]
> what are the requirements you needed to become a sub?

In the PRC (People's [DemoKratic] Republic of
Californicatedia), Northern Fiefdom, the short-term candidates
are required to:
1) Have a BA/BS;
2) Have a current passing score on their CBEST;
3) Pay a "nominal" fee for the emergency credential (a
certificate);
4) Put up with phone calls starting at 0530 (that ay-yem) and
potentially running until 2200 (pee-emm).

Bone-us points for long-term candidates: CSET & RICA passing
scores, first-aid/CPR trained, credentialed.

The Ranger
Nan - 05 Jun 2008 14:54 GMT
>[snip]
>> what are the requirements you needed to become a sub?
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
>
>The Ranger

Thanks for the info.  Here, a candidate needs a min. of 30 hours of
college, so no degree is necessary.  I have an Assoc. degree and 'not
quite' enough hours for a BA.  I'm considered a 'senior' with the
hours I've acquired.

Plus the background check and paying for the short-term cert.

Thanks for replying!

Nan
 
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