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Family Forum / Parenting / Mothers / November 2003I think I've been ousted ;-)
Although she's not said anything to *me*, I think my boss has figured out I'm expecting. Her "if she's not pregnant I'll eat my hat" comment to a co-worker of mine came to light last night. How rude is it for her to discuss this with a co-worker? Pretty darned rude, I'd say. But, I consider the source.... a controlling, manipulative, bitter (ohhh, I could go on and on and on....) woman that couldn't possibly be happy for anyone. Do I feel bad not telling her? Not a chance. She's likely pissed off I haven't told her, but afaic, I have no obligation to. I feel my only obligation will be to sit down and discuss my leave, which I know will tick her off, as she'll need to cover my days and shifts. Truthfully, every week I get through without quitting, I figure I'm doing great. If not for my great co-workers and the wonderful patrons, I'd have been long gone. At this point, all I want to do is get past Christmas for the funds to buy some gifts. Then, I have a few things in mind to buy before the baby arrives. But, I'm not anxious to disclose the truth to her about it, as she tends to go into high-gear to make lives miserable when someone crosses her. Okay, another day, another few dollars ;-) Nan /flexes muscles /cracks knuckles you need me to come down there and kick some librarian butt for you? ;o) I'm sorry you have to deal with her... what a bitch! :o( Bethany > Although she's not said anything to *me*, I think my boss has figured > out I'm expecting. [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > Nan >/flexes muscles >/cracks knuckles >you need me to come down there and kick some librarian butt for you? >;o) Oooh, you tuff gurl ;-) >I'm sorry you have to deal with her... what a bitch! :o( >Bethany That she is, darlin'. I found out she's been going into our accounts to see what we have checked out. Nosy, nosy, nosy!!! Nan >> Although she's not said anything to *me*, I think my boss has figured >> out I'm expecting. [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] >> >> Nan >>/flexes muscles >>/cracks knuckles [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >That she is, darlin'. I found out she's been going into our accounts >to see what we have checked out. Nosy, nosy, nosy!!! she isn't working hard enough if she's got time to mess about like that. In fact, that's an invsaion of privacy and over here the boss could get into big trouble with their superiors if a complaint was made... -- Sue Mum to Tyler - April 2001 and a wee Angel - July 2003 >>>/flexes muscles >>>/cracks knuckles [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >she isn't working hard enough if she's got time to mess about like >that. LMAO! Very true! >In fact, that's an invsaion of privacy and over here the boss could >get into big trouble with their superiors if a complaint was made... I don't know that it would be considered invasion of privacy, though. When patrons check out books, the computer makes a record of it, and library employees have ready access to the information. But it is a privacy issue from a personal standpoint. Nan >>>>/flexes muscles >>>>/cracks knuckles [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] >library employees have ready access to the information. >But it is a privacy issue from a personal standpoint. It's still against the law in Australia. The Information Privacy Principles that were pounded into my head when I was a public servant state that you have to have a _reason_ to be looking at anyone's file. If they haven't specifically asked you to do it, it's against the law. We found out the hard way when one guy I worked with looked up an Australian gold medal winner after finding out the medal winner was unemployed and he was busted.  SignatureCheryl Mum to DS#1 (11 Mar 99), DS#2 (4 Oct 00) and DD (30 Jul 02) >It's still against the law in Australia. The Information Privacy >Principles that were pounded into my head when I was a public servant [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >Australian gold medal winner after finding out the medal winner was >unemployed and he was busted. If our files were closed, it would probably be illegal. But when patrons check items out on our new computer system, the software opens their *entire* file. I'm talking name, address, phone number, and list of items they have checked out. I don't like that feature, as anyone could view the computer screen and see the information although they'd need to either be behind the desk, or leaning over it. If we have to walk away from the computer in the middle of a patron transaction, I always minimize the screen even though it automatically covers the information after a minute. A minute is too long for me, and gives someone too much time to be nosy. What the director does is beyond the scope of her job, although I'm sure she'd argue that monitoring us is part of the deal. It's only stated in our employee manual that she can monitor internet activity, though. Nan >Although she's not said anything to *me*, I think my boss has figured >out I'm expecting. >Her "if she's not pregnant I'll eat my hat" comment to a co-worker of >mine came to light last night. How rude is it for her to discuss this >with a co-worker? I'm wondering if she is even allowed to ask you? >Pretty darned rude, I'd say. Agreed. >Do I feel bad not telling her? Not a chance. She's likely pissed off >I haven't told her, but afaic, I have no obligation to. [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >about it, as she tends to go into high-gear to make lives miserable >when someone crosses her. ugh .. she would have to be pretty nutzoid to think that another persons pregnancy was meant to cross her. But w/ her type I can see why you wouldn't want to say anything! I don't know how you do it! Most ppl would have quit by now. ((((((((((((Nan))))))))))))) ~Kat "Rice Krispies. East meets west" Cosmo Kramer >>Although she's not said anything to *me*, I think my boss has figured >>out I'm expecting. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >I'm wondering if she is even allowed to ask you? I have wondered that, myself. She may not be able to, legally. She's been extra bitchy towards me for several weeks, and that coincides with her comment to my co-worker. >ugh .. she would have to be pretty nutzoid to think that another persons >pregnancy was meant to cross her. But w/ her type I can see why you wouldn't >want to say anything! I don't know how you do it! Most ppl would have quit by >now. >((((((((((((Nan))))))))))))) Dh and I were talking last night... well, I was talking, he was listening <G> while I was doing vent #9329 about her. He knows I put up with it because we need the extra money right now, and finding another job with these hours and pay would be near impossible. As long as I can vent, I'll be okay until I can give her my notice. Nan > Okay, another day, another few dollars ;-) > > Nan Get those bucks and make a run for it! She sounds burned out and nasty! Anni >> Okay, another day, another few dollars ;-) >> [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >Anni Lol Anni... I'm pretty sure I'll just wait as long as I possibly can and give her my notice. I'm only obligated to give her 2 weeks. I lost a co-worker last night that decided to finally toss in the towel :-( Too bad the director will never know the truth of why any of us leave. I might write a nice long letter to the Board of Directors when I go, though. Nan >>> Okay, another day, another few dollars ;-) >>> [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > >Nan You should do that. And you may want to suggest to the board that they conduct exit interviews with all employees who leave to see if the policies they have in place or the way managers are handling people need to be changed. -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits > >>> Okay, another day, another few dollars ;-) > >>> [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > The Outer Limits I was gonna say something like this but moreso I was wondering Nan why people don't talk about why they are leaving? I personally would want to leave them with a piece of my mind that I could cheerfully do without. I know though I've dealt with boards of directors who wouldn't give a hoot! Anni >I was gonna say something like this but moreso I was wondering Nan why >people don't talk about why they are leaving? I personally would want to [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >Anni It's not the Board that is the problem, though. And the Board doesn't sit in on Exit Interviews, although I feel they should. It isn't really the fault of the Board why most of us want to leave. They've done her reviews and told her to change her tactics, but she doesn't. The Board *is* aware that there are issues surrounding the Director, but even though they've had "executive" meetings about her, nothing gets done. Sad but true fact is that the Board is probably aware that they'd have to shell out more money and medical benefits if they want to hire someone else, and that will not happen anytime soon. The problem with being honest with the Director about why we quit is that she will (and has) blackballed previous employees. All strictly legal, of course.... there are ways around the rules about not giving a bad reference to future employers. She doesn't keep any comments in our files (that we're legally entitled to see), she has an index card file that she writes negative remarks in (that she never, ever addresses with us!) and we have no right to see that since it's her personal property. Oh, I could go on for an age about her ;-) Nan [snip] > The problem with being honest with the Director about why > we quit is that she will (and has) blackballed previous employees. [snip] When you leave, have a letter of recommendation all ready for her to sign as the last bit of business during the exit interview. Don't leave without it. It's a perfect In-Your-Face without saying anything. The Ranger >[snip] >> The problem with being honest with the Director about why [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > >The Ranger Hmmmm.... Maybe ;-) Considering I've gotten really good reviews and she never confronts me on issues (she complains to everyone else, lol), I just might do that. Nan [snip] > >When you leave, have a letter of recommendation all ready for her to > >sign [..] > > > Hmmmm.... Maybe ;-) > Considering I've gotten really good reviews and she never confronts me > on issues (she complains to everyone else, lol), I just might do that. I'd offer to edit it for you... <VEG> The Ranger >[snip] >> >When you leave, have a letter of recommendation all ready for her to [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > >The Ranger I can only imagine <G> Nan > She doesn't keep any comments in our files (that we're legally > entitled to see), she has an index card file that she writes negative > remarks in (that she never, ever addresses with us!) and we have no > right to see that since it's her personal property. > Oh, I could go on for an age about her ;-) According to case law it is my understanding that there is no such thing as "personal property" at the work place. You could check this out with an attorney versed with that type of law in your state. In our state it has come down to not being allowed to have coffee mugs or anything in one's work space that even vaguely suggests believing in Christ as that is offensive to those who do not share those beliefs. -Aula Signaturesee my creative works on ebay under aulame123 >> She doesn't keep any comments in our files (that we're legally >> entitled to see), she has an index card file that she writes negative [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >space that even vaguely suggests believing in Christ as that is offensive to >those who do not share those beliefs. That really stinks. I certainly think that employees shouldn't have a religious altar or something like that, but a coffee mug that happens to have a religious saying on it? How stupid is that? Besides if you work in a private business, wouldn't that be a restriction on your freedom of religion? I can see not having such things in a public school (though even there in office space, it seems silly), but in a private business? >-Aula -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits >That really stinks. > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >such things in a public school (though even there in office >space, it seems silly), but in a private business? Even as a non christian I agree. However the problem is when people take it too far (which happens both ways) I have worked w/ people who have had crosses or 'prayer poems' on their desks and it didn't bother me one bit .. there have been a few cases that a co-woker has had way to much religious paraphernalia in their office that I was uncomfortable and from what I understood through the office grape vine that even christians agreed. However, I never said anything about it .. I was only in her office every 6 months or so and I was too busy w/ my work to put any effort to complain. IMO it comes down to zero tolerance. Because some people can't use a little common sense, everyone pays. Public funded schools and government buildings/workers are a completely different issue. ~Kat "Rice Krispies. East meets west" Cosmo Kramer Oh dear - this sounds ludicrous.. Our parliament has decided that when sending constituants cards at this time they are not allowed to say 'Merry Christmas' on them in case of causing offence - they will read 'Seasons Greetings' ??? >Oh dear - this sounds ludicrous.. > >Our parliament has decided that when sending constituants cards at >this time they are not allowed to say 'Merry Christmas' on them in >case of causing offence - they will read 'Seasons Greetings' ??? Do you have many Jewish folks, Muslims or Hindus in your country? Perhaps Merry Christmas is not appropriate from the government. -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits >Oh dear - this sounds ludicrous.. > >Our parliament has decided that when sending constituants cards at >this time they are not allowed to say 'Merry Christmas' on them in >case of causing offence - they will read 'Seasons Greetings' ??? It's similar here.... since the library is a government building, we don't put christmas decorations with a religious theme, up. No angels on the tree, and no nativity scenes of any kind. We have to remain secular. Nan > Besides if you work in a private business, wouldn't that be a > restriction on your freedom of religion? I can see not having > such things in a public school (though even there in office > space, it seems silly), but in a private business? I thought so, but the agency was sued successfully because one of the facility's name included "Joshua". The person suing was not Christian. That was in something like 1991 or 1990, iirc. Things have relaxed a little over the intervening years, I think mainly due to turnover, but I will never forget my supervisor telling me that I had to take home my favorite coffee mug, which had the 23d Psalm printed on it [and that was very tiny considering how long that is compared to the size of a coffee mug!]. I work in a private not for profit business. -Aula Signaturesee my creative works on ebay under aulame123 >> She doesn't keep any comments in our files (that we're legally >> entitled to see), she has an index card file that she writes negative [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > >-Aula The employees used to have access to the office before she was hired. She changed the locks and sets booby traps. The woman really is a nutter. Bummer on your policies, though. That's going a bit too far, imo. Since we're a gov't building we can't have anything religious, even on display by the patrons. I had one patron showcase a beautiful Fontanini display last Dec, and someone squawked because there was a miniature nativity scene included among the other figurines and artwork. Nan > ... I lost a co-worker last night that decided to finally > toss in the towel :-( [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Nan your Board doesn't do exit interviews? don't tell me they leave them to the horrid one who makes you all miserable!? -- -- Vicki Married DH May 21, 1995 Ima shel DS, born 11/16/99; and DD, born 5/19/02. "Stay-at-home" Ima since October 2002. An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. -Spanish proverb I may not currently be pregnant, but I look pregnant, does that count? >> ... I lost a co-worker last night that decided to finally >> toss in the towel :-( [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >your Board doesn't do exit interviews? don't tell me they leave them to >the horrid one who makes you all miserable!? No, the Board doesn't do exit interviews. They like to have their heads in the sand about the inner-workings of the library. Nan > No, the Board doesn't do exit interviews. They like to have their > heads in the sand about the inner-workings of the library. > Nan Well, you reap what you sow, I guess. And they are reaping a terrible turnover rate, iirc. Any other unpleasant fruit for them yet? -- -- Vicki Married DH May 21, 1995 Ima shel DS, born 11/16/99; and DD, born 5/19/02. "Stay-at-home" Ima since October 2002. An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. -Spanish proverb I may not currently be pregnant, but I look pregnant, does that count? >> No, the Board doesn't do exit interviews. They like to have their >> heads in the sand about the inner-workings of the library. >> Nan > >Well, you reap what you sow, I guess. And they are reaping a terrible >turnover rate, iirc. Any other unpleasant fruit for them yet? Oh, I've mentioned the high turnover since the director started <G> Nan >Okay, another day, another few dollars ;-) Good attitude there, Nan. Keep on plugging and let her stew. <eg> -- mags What I've been up to: http://snurl.com/2u8t >>Okay, another day, another few dollars ;-) > >Good attitude there, Nan. Keep on plugging and let her stew. <eg> Heh. I plan to :-) Nan >Although she's not said anything to *me*, I think my boss has figured >out I'm expecting. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >source.... a controlling, manipulative, bitter (ohhh, I could go on >and on and on....) woman that couldn't possibly be happy for anyone. Your boss is first class bitch! I hate her for you! Bah! Wendy Mummy to Rebecca Grace Nurses are here to save your a.s, not kiss it! |
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