Family Forum / Parenting / Mothers / February 2005

Hey Guys,

It's Happy Friday and here's my weekly (and hopefully not boring) story:

I never though I would do this......I mean, I never though I'd be asked to
do this.  What's "this" you might be asking yourself?  I'm Joyce, 5'8 & 1/2
and always referred to ask a "big girl".  I've never really considered
myself fat and I've been lucky as far as being overweight but proportioned
well.  What I was asked to do was model.  Me?  A model?  Me?  On a runway?
I just never thought....but here's what happened:

I was about 28 at the time.  Yes, heavy-set but happy.  I had lots of
friends, lots of dates and my fair share of male attention.  I received a
phone call from my Aunt Kay one day and she was telling me about the bridal
salon she worked for was having a fashion show.  "They need more models and
I suggested you" she said.  Huh?  Me?  "They want me to do what.....model"?
"Yes!"  She said the owner needed models who were bigger in size, but tall.
The owner had several bigger models, but they were all 5'4 and under and she
needed taller women so the gowns wouldn't have to be altered.   Although my
aunt has a heart of gold, she can be a little pushy at times....."I told her
you'd go up there tomorrow and try some gowns on".  Ummmmmm.....alrightie
then!  I guess I was supposed to go then.

To tell the truth, I was a nervous wreck.  I had no idea what to expect.  I
had a terrible, growing fear that I would take one step into that salon and
the woman would say "Sorry, but you are not pretty enough".....Or,  "Well,
we were looking for someone not so heavy-set", etc.  The fear of rejection
was alive and well in my brain.  I could hardly breath.

I tried my best to look pretty....my hair was done in a french twist, my
make-up was impeccable, a nice dress with high heels on and my head held
high.   I wasn't trying to be something I wasn't, I just felt it was
important to not show my fear or insecurities.

I walked in and the owner of the salon came right up to me, extended her
hand and said "You must be Katherine's neice....you are even more beautiful
than she said you were.  You'll be perfect!!"  Whew!  I was so flattered by
the whole compliment, I didn't know what to say.

They had 2 bridal gowns that they wanted me to try on.  The first one fit me
like a glove.  It was beautiful.  The staff immediately put a tag with my
name on it.  The second gown fit, but it was a little snug.  The show was in
4 weeks and I knew that gown would fit alot better if I lost about 5 pounds,
no problem.  That second gown was the gown I had dreamt about being married
in since I was a little girl.  Simple, elegant with a puffy white skirt and
train.  I felt like a princess.  I couldn't wait.

I lost the five pounds and then the day of the show arrived.  Of course I
woke up thinking..."What the Hell did I get myself into?  I can't do this!"
I wanted to back out, but I was committed.

We got to the auditorium early to get ready and the whole experience was
like something out of a movie.  There must've been 30-35 models,
hairdressers, make-up artists, salon employees, racks and racks of gowns
dresses, veils, flowers.....it was total chaos.  You would sit in one chair
and have your hair done then you had to rush over to the make-up chair, then
you had to get dressed....push up bras, pantyhose, the right shoes, the
gown, the veil, the works.

We knew the layout of the runway and had to be trained on how to "walk" and
how to turn with these gowns on.  Trust me....it's not easy.  There is so
much that you had to remember.....keep your head up, pick your feet up when
you walk and pretend you are walking on a straight line (very difficult),
squat, pick up the train, turn a quarter of a turn, toss the train BEHIND
you, and step out.  It may look easy, but it's not.

It was my turn and I was in bad shape.  "I can't do this....I can't do
this....I can't do this....." was coming out of my mouth all the while I was
praying..."Please don't let me fall, please don't let me fall, please don't
let me fall".  It was one of those moments where were you convinced that
your heart was going to stop because it was beating so hard.

The owner and the other girls were all wishing me luck and saying I could do
it.  "You look beautiful and go have fun....Don't worry, it'll be fine".

The lights turned down, the music started and I heard the emcee announce my
name...."Come on feet, MOVE!!" I had to say to myself.  I took a deep
breath, felt the spotlight on my face, smiled and down that runway I went,
as confident looking as possible.  I made my turn, I didn't fall, the
applause was wonderful and my heart didn't stop beating.

I had to have a quick change for my second gown and I felt a little better
but still a nervous wreck.  I did my second gown same as the first and then
I got to watch the rest of the show from backstage.  It was a great success!

So, if any would ever ask me if I was ever part of something like that, I
can say "Yes I was once!"

My one day in the spotlight....if only for a minute or two.

Thanks for letting me share,

Joyce
Mommy to Charles
Wife to James<<<the man I love