step children

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outsiders - 27 Apr 2005 06:02 GMT

I have found the true meaning of conflict. I really have found myself
beside my self in the way my new husbands own parents have reacted to our
marriage. We were engaged for one year before the big date. My husband
and I thought we would give everyone enough time to at least get use to
the fact the big day was coming. Well it did and we are married. No one
will reconize this fact and my husbands own parents said they wont get
involved in the fact we are married and wont do anything to mess up the
fact that the children are the most important. We aren't included in
anything but my husbands children are. My children are not considered at
all. So now its his Children and x-wife and his parents, against My
husband, myself and my two small children. I hurt, what do I do get a
divorce? Well they then stop all the pain they are causing my husband, me
and my children?

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Nan - 27 Apr 2005 06:22 GMT

>I have found the true meaning of conflict. I really have found myself
>beside my self in the way my new husbands own parents have reacted to our
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
>divorce? Well they then stop all the pain they are causing my husband, me
>and my children?

Ouch, that's got to really hurt.
It sounds as if the grandparents are afraid that having you in the
picture will mean they won't get to see their grandchildren as much
(or at all) if the ex has custody. It's not an uncommon problem, but
still very hurtful.
Perhaps if you try to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mother in
law, and explain that you're not trying to take anyone's place, she'll
be more accepting of you. Ask her if her fear is that she won't get
to see the kids, and have your husband reassure her that he will make
sure she will get to see them, even if it's on his time with them.

Good luck,

Nan

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Angie - 27 Apr 2005 07:19 GMT

> I have found the true meaning of conflict. I really have found myself
> beside my self in the way my new husbands own parents have reacted to our
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
> divorce? Well they then stop all the pain they are causing my husband, me
> and my children?

Does your husband love you? Does he treat you right? Do you love him? If
all yes, then talk of divorce shouldn't happen because his family
doesn't approve of you. That would be letting THEM win.

While I can't offer tons of advice I can say that don't blame your
husband for their actions. He can't control his parents or his exwife
and while he can help out with the children, chances are your inlaws and
his ex could be filling their heads with lies and lovely stuff to make
it hard on you.

All in all, don't give up on your relationship with your husband because
of them. If you feel there are problems try marriage counseling OR a
step parenting group.

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Mamma Mia - 27 Apr 2005 08:26 GMT

how do you feel about his children? perhaps his parents fear you do not
care for them enough, and maybe you need to show them that you do? i dont
know how.

but i agree, dont give up on your marriage b/c of them. i bet the ex wife
is not helping things along, she must be hurting, and lashing out the only
way she can think of

good luck

christine

>I have found the true meaning of conflict. I really have found myself
> beside my self in the way my new husbands own parents have reacted to our
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
> divorce? Well they then stop all the pain they are causing my husband, me
> and my children?

Reply to this Message

LaTreen Washington - 29 Apr 2005 02:25 GMT

Either your kids are little monsters or your husband has NO balls.

> I have found the true meaning of conflict. I really have found myself
> beside my self in the way my new husbands own parents have reacted to our
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
> divorce? Well they then stop all the pain they are causing my husband, me
> and my children?

Reply to this Message

Family Forum / Parenting / Mothers / April 2005

step children