Family Forum / Parenting / Mothers / October 2005

  Funny Joke - Learning From Kids

                 For those with no children - this is totally hysterical...

                 For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious.

                 For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

                 For those who have children nearing this age, this is a
warning.

                 For those who have not yet had children, this is birth
control...

                 The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin,
Texas:

                 Things Ive learned from my Boys (honest)...

                 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000
sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.

                 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over
them with roller blades, they can ignite.

                 3. A 3-year old Boys voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.

                 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor
is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

                 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan
is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

                 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesnt stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

                 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh"
its already too late.

                 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of
it.

                 9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock
even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

                 10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of
a 4-year old Boy.

                 11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the
same sentence.

                 12. Super glue is forever.

                 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool
you still cant walk on water.

                 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

                 15. VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.

                 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

                 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

                 18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

                 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic
toys do not like ovens.

                 20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute
response time.

                 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms dizzy.

                 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

                 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

                 24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox
and brake fluid.

                 25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.