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Family Forum / Parenting / Mothers / November 2005Just my luck (rant)
Y'all know the story of my life over the past 2-3 years, and how much luck I generally have (a negative amount). Well, my incredible luck has once again served me... Mortgages: I talked to banks, intermediates and everyone else I could think of over summer, no problem to get a decent loan. After closing the sale they changed their opinions, so I was really really PO. DH calls a friend, who refers him to an old neighbour and within 2 days we have an offer for the full loan in the mail. Why?? What did I do wrong? Do I have written on my face "do not give loan!"? Jobs: I get the best job offer of my life past spring, then it gets withdrawn because of my pregnancy (they still claim that wasn't the reason). After radio silence for 3 months, they re-offer me the job on the day that we decided to rent a house some 200 miles away and DH signed his contract with his new employer. So no go for me. In the mean time, I have good prospects on another job nearby, I even worked with the project over summer. But of course they get an application from someone who fits their profile exactly. Being a part-time working mom with little experience I'm no match for a single guy with 5 years of experience in the field who wants to work 60 hours weeks... Never even heard from the other applications I send out... Fortunately the amount of negative luck I have is counterbalanced by DH's incredible luck, so we are doing very well and I really shouldn't complain. But I keep wondering what did I do to deserve this? How come when I think things are finally taking a turn for the better, the door is always slammed shut in my face? I would even work for free if it gets me some time away from home. I love my kids, but I am starting to miss the intellectual challenge of a job. Unfortunately, without my salary we cannot pay for daycare and so I have to work around the kids' schedule. Maybe not a bad thing for next year, when DS1 will start school, but the longer I'm physically out of the workplace, the smaller my chances of ever getting back into a science job. So now where are all those people who always complain that there are not enough women in science??  Signature--I mommy to DS1 (July '02) mommy to DD & DS2 (August '05) mommy to four tiny angels (Oct '03 - Oct '04) guardian of DH (age classified) <snip> "Ilse Witch" > complain. But I keep wondering what did I do to deserve this? How come > when I think things are finally taking a turn for the better, the door is > always slammed shut in my face? ... > I would even work for free if it gets me some time away from home. I love > my kids, but I am starting to miss the intellectual challenge of a job. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > So now where are all those people who always complain that there are not > enough women in science?? I hear you, that's my lament too. So long as many mothers as do, compromise with their employers to work whatever hours they need to to keep the job, employers will believe that part-time work is a nonsense, and real jobs will never be offered on that basis. Woman's lib only did half a job, and I'm not convinced they got the right half correct! So long as this world is still run on productivity part-timers don't have a real chance in any formal established forum. There is a lot going on outside of that arena, but whether it is worth it depends on one's own outlook on which rewards are worth which sacrifices. Sure, a formal established forum is a much easier place to work, but there are alternatives. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Marc > Mortgages: I talked to banks, intermediates and everyone else I could > think of over summer, no problem to get a decent loan. After closing the > sale they changed their opinions, so I was really really PO. DH calls a > friend, who refers him to an old neighbour and within 2 days we have an > offer for the full loan in the mail. Why?? What did I do wrong? Do I have > written on my face "do not give loan!"? Oh... Oh... Oh... how often I've felt that way Ilse. I was super surprised recently when I bought a vehicle for us that when I talked with the guy who was selling it and low-balled the price he took the offer!!!!!!! Yayyy! So hang in there. It isn't you! > Jobs: I get the best job offer of my life past spring, then it gets > withdrawn because of my pregnancy (they still claim that wasn't the > reason). After radio silence for 3 months, they re-offer me the job on the > day that we decided to rent a house some 200 miles away and DH signed his > contract with his new employer. So no go for me. Oh I'm so sorry!!!!! Blah on them for not letting you have it in the first place!!!!! Poor sports! > I would even work for free if it gets me some time away from home. Can you maybe find a job your create? I'm blanking but make something where you can make money and still be away from home. My SIL does tutoring in her field for adults. I love > my kids, but I am starting to miss the intellectual challenge of a job. > Unfortunately, without my salary we cannot pay for daycare and so I have > to work around the kids' schedule. Maybe not a bad thing for next year, > when DS1 will start school, but the longer I'm physically out of the > workplace, the smaller my chances of ever getting back into a science job. Hang in there!!!! Anni {{{{{{{{{{{{hugs Ilse}}}}}}}}}}}}} I know the frustration of the career door slamming shut once the blue line has appeared on the pregnancy test. It's not fair, but I'm trying to see it as a short term problem. Wendyxxx >Y'all know the story of my life over the past 2-3 years, and how much luck >I generally have (a negative amount). Well, my incredible luck has once >again served me... (((((((((((((((((((Ilse)))))))))))))))))))))) I wish I could get you the job of your dreams 10 minutes from your house. -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits |
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