Family Forum / Pregnancy / Pregnancy / January 2008

Hugs Lu.  Luckily, they don't remember these things.  I can't remember how
old Jessie is, but clearly CIO was not the right method for you guys, at
least not at this time.  Who knows what is going on with her.

We did some form of CIO with both girls, but not until they were past 12
months.  I think with Addie we did it at 14 months, when she was STILL
waking 2-3 times a night and eating an 8-9 ounce bottle each time, while not
eating much of anything during the day.  It wasn't fun, but it only took
that one night, so in the end, it was worth it to me.  But I tell you, the
fact that she wasn't still mad at me in the morning was a huge relief!

You know controlled crying is really a technique to try if you have
persistent night waking that you feel is a habit, rather than waking for
a reason. If it's only 2 nights, it's much more likely that she's
feeling unwell, teething, etc. when stuff like this happens, you're very
unlikely to turn it into a habit. Plus, moving from her falling asleep
in your arms to controlled crying in a cot is a big move, even if you
were trying to change a bad habit, controlled crying seems to be more
for teaching a child who can go off to sleep by themselves at bedtime to
repeat that when they wake in the night - we did use it with one of our
children for exactly this thing, but we must have had 100+ other times
of night waking when it wasn't the right thing. Mostly the right thing
has been to meet their needs, DS (4.5) woke up at 4am a few nights ago,
he was hungry, he had a banana and a glass of milk and went back to bed,
iirc that's the first time he's eaten in the night since we used
controlled crying to night wean him, did we do wrong? I'm sure he just
randomly woke up and like many people when they wake up, felt hungry,
he's not woken in the night since.

Personally I feel the last thing controlled crying teaches is being safe
and secure in the cot, it's got it's place, but it's not the answer to
every sleep problem. Just to check we're actually talking about the same
thing, you do mean going in after a fixed time, comforting, preferably
without taking them out the cot, then adding to the fixed time. The book
we came across it had the start time as 5 mins, adding 2 mins each time,
 or 2mins and adding 1min if you couldn't tolerate it, of 10mins adding
2mins if you could take more crying, providing they weren't getting
hysterical. DH insisted we do the 10mins! We had to set a timer to do it
and DS never got hysterical and we never had to go in after the 14
minutes beep and it took 3 nights to go from 3 night wakings to none and
each night is was only 1, just a different one, he woke at the first
usual time the first night then stayed asleep, the 2nd usual time the
2nd night...

So don't throw the parenting books out, just use your brain, your
instincts and knowledge of your child. I find it useful to have one on
the shelf as an easy reference if I want to check something like the
average time of developing a particular skill, so that I know if a delay
is within tolerable range.

Cheers
Anne

Ack! Don't feel guilty about this! Most moms I know have tried that,
myself included. And most who tried ended up giving up too, myself
included. Babies can be quite stressful and sometimes the strangest
things sound possible lol
I don't know how old she is. Could you maybe have her sleep with you?
Or even fix her up a safe spot on the floor, and lay down and nurse
her to sleep, then you can get up. That's what I ended up having to do
with my youngest. She would NOT sleep with me, she wouldn't sleep in
her crib. Somehow she slept best if I lay in the floor with her and
let her nurse herself to sleep, then I got up. And I will admit that
the safest place was my walk-in closet(because I was scared an older
child or husband would step on her) That's how my baby ended up
sleeping in the closet. We kept that a secret from the rest of the
family until she started sleeping in the crib LOL It's not easy laying
on the closet floor and getting up, either.
Marie

I would recommend "The No-Cry Sleep Solution", I believe it's by
Elizabeth Pantley. All my baby books are put away now but you could
google it. She tries to help you understand HOW babies sleep, without
making you feel that you should MAKE them go to sleep. It's very
informative, even if you don't use her suggestions. It included charts
for you to record the baby's sleeping patterns.
Dr. Sears' "The Baby Book" is also one I'd recommend. His methods seem
to be more "normal" than the rest I've seen. I owe that man my sanity
and I'd love to meet him one day!
Marie

Hi all

Thanks so much for your replies and understanding. For those that asked,
Jessica's 18 months. Since about 6 weeks, she's slept (most nights) from 9pm
until 7am.without waking. There's only been the odd time when she's woken,
and that's because she's thirsty/cold whatever. We've kept her to a really
strict routine at night, and we've always been so pleased that she's had
such a good night's sleep - it's made us all feel better - especially in the
very early days... When I first brought her home, she'd sleep at least 4
hours straight, meaning we all had a good sleep.

I think that's why the last two nights were so hard, and we were afraid of
giving in, taking her to our bed, walking her in the buggy etc etc. She's
always been so good, but I didn't want to give in to the crying when she was
placed in her cot, especially two nights in a row.

During the day, she goes for her afternoon nap as good as gold.Sometimes she
sleeps in with me, sometimes she's in the buggy, sometimes she goes in her
cot... At night, exluding the odd time when we've been away or she's been
poorly, she's always slept in her cot.

Like I say, I don't know how she'll settle tonight, but like Jamie said, the
fact that Jessie's not mad at me this morning is such a relief. FWIW, after
I put her down again last night, she didn't so much as stir, so in the end
we all got some sleep.

Thanks again, and hugs to all

Lucy xx

Don't throw them out-someone else might pick them up. Burn them... ;-P
((hugs))
Debbie

Exactly how I feel.  Did it once, never again.

-- Anita --