Family Forum / Pregnancy / Pregnancy / June 2004

Isn't that exciting the first time you and others can feel baby from the
outside!!  Yay!!!  Congrats!

-kim

didn't tell her much until I started getting big then I just explained in
simple terms what was happening. I also had friends with newborns so she got
to see them and we talked about getting one for us. I also read a few
childrens books, I'm a big sister, the new baby, baby and me etc sorry don't
know the authors I borrowed them from the library. She has adapted well so
far...
good luck
Alissa

There's 22 months between DD#1 and DD#2 and also 22 months between DD#2 &
DS, so my kids were almost the same age as your DD.  I don't know that I did
a whole lot to prepare either of them for their new sibling, other than what
you've already done.  I tried to talk to them, but after saying there was a
baby in mommy's belly, they seemed to lose interest in the conversation!

And neither of them had any problems once the baby arrived and both seemed
to understand that the new baby was part of our family.  So maybe the best
way to prepare her is to just keep telling her how she's going to be a big
sister and let her look at your belly anytime she wants!

And congrats on feeling those first kicks from the outside!  That's always
so exciting!

Hunter was 24 months when Luke was born.  I talked to him a little bit but
he never made any indication that he knew what I was talking about.  He went
to almost all my appointments and we set up the new baby stuff about 6-8 wks
before my due date.  He didn't have any problem with his brothers arrival.
I think setting up the baby stuff a little early was helpful.
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

I think thats about as much as we ever told my DD.  Oh, and that new
baby would nurse like she did and that she could help mommy take care of
the baby.  In hindsight, I'm sure she could have understood more, but
there was also no need to tell her.  They are 21 1/2 months apart and
couldn't be more bonded.  They both adore each other and while they
separate fine, they also don't prefer to be apart.

--
Rhiannon
Mama to M. Girl (2 3/4 years) and O. Boy (12 months!)

Thanks for the ideas.  We'll just keep doing what we're doing, and hope for
the best.  It will help that a friend has a new baby, and another friend is
due around the same time as me.  I'll look up the library too, and see what
books they have.

Cathy

I haven't been in the exact same situation unfortunately, but I can tell
you that DS has developed his memory and comprehension enormously between
18 and 23 months. Since a couple of months we notice that he clearly
remembers things from a week or longer back, and he will ask us about them
too. So I'd keep on telling her and explaining what will be happening,
you'll be surprised how much she remembers even if she does not respond
directly (yet).

Our DD is a bit older than yours; she'll be a few weeks shy of 3 when our
baby arrives, but she's been begging for a baby at our house for a long
time.  So we talked about it in vague terms before I got pg, like that a
baby grows in the mommy's tummy, and then when we found out that we were
actually expecting again, we told her more certainly that she'd be a big
sister in a long time, and that I have a baby in my tummy.  I'll never
forget the day we told her for sure that we were expecting a baby -- her
little face just lit up like her biggest dream had come true and she just
couldn't believe it.  She's been with me to visit the midwife, and she came
to our sonogram, and we showed her the baby on the screen, even though it
doesn't look very babylike yet.  Since then, she keeps wanting to pat and
talk to my tummy and say hi to the baby and to tell him/her that she's
his/her big sister.  We told her that Mommy's tummy will grow, and I've
shown her some pictures of pg women and newborns too.  (My SIL was recently
pg and DD saw her tummy get bigger and then she saw the baby after it was bo
rn, so I think that helped.  It also increased her asking for a baby around
here, lol.)  We basically talk about it like we talk about anything else,
little bits here and there as appropriate.  Books are good too.  I avoid
ones that have sibling rivalry at all, but I like the ones that show the big
brother/sister teaching the new baby things and being a part of the new
baby's life.  I'm trying to avoid too much emphasis on how DD will be a big
girl, because almost 3 is still pretty little, but rather I'm focusing on
the unique role she'll have (ie I told her that the baby will know her voice
when it's born, and will know that she's someone very special, and she
really likes that idea).  Some of my absolute favorites (and DD's as well)
are _Newborn_ by Karen Henderson, _The Baby Dances_ by Kathy Henderson (I
could have those two first names switched), and _All the Places to Love_ by
Patricia MacLachlan.  (Those last two have really stunning pictures and show
the big brother being really nurturing and teaching the little sister.)
Little bits of info as appropriate are good, I think.  (And some confusion
is likely -- DD announced that her tummy is growing big because it has a
baby in it too.  Lol.)