Family Forum / Pregnancy / Pregnancy / February 2005

OK, so it only took me 14 weeks.  Hoping it's better late than never -
here's the birth story for anyone that's still interested.

Warning: One reason why this took me so long is because I was writing
this for my own diary as well as for mkp, and I really wanted to record
and remember *everything* I could about it.  The result is that this is
ridiculously long, and contains a great deal of detail that's probably
tremendously boring to anyone who isn't me.  So - feel free to skip/skim
huge chunks.  I mean, I'll tell you right now that the denouement is
that I had a baby.  There aren't any sudden unexpected plot twists at
the end or anything.

_The_story_

(Due date by scan - Wed, 17th Nov, though personally I think it was at
least 5 days later than that.)

Around 1 a.m. on Tuesday, November 16th, I was awake with some
pregnancy-related discomfort or other, and I noticed I was getting some
very mild, crampy, period-type pain.  This kept happening intermittently
over the next few days.  While I had to admit that realistically it
didn't seem like much to get excited over - I couldn't even be sure that
it wasn't just wind - I was still pleased at the possibility that
something might be happening, since I was feeling highly pessimistic
about my chances of going into labour anywhere near the due date.

My plan for the birth primarily involved trying to avoid anything
stronger than gas and air, as I didn't like what I'd read about the
potential side-effects of pethidine or epidurals, and the idea of
spending my labour on a bed with tubes sticking out of me scared me
noticeably more than the thought of the pain.  To this end, I'd made
mental notes of various other techniques I'd read about - walking
around, water immersion, hot packs on the back, etc. - and had also read
Rosegg & McCutcheon's book on the Bradley Method & vaguely had a go at
practicing the techniques.  Of course, the Bradley Method is not the
sort of thing you're meant to vaguely have a go at practicing.  It's
something you're meant to practice assiduously and regularly on a daily
basis for months before the birth, with a birth partner who'll go
through the book (or the course, but that wasn't an option for us in the
UK) with you and join in with you in practicing all the techniques.
However, I knew perfectly well that this was not something I was going
to get DH doing, and that he wasn't going to be able to practice the
relaxation techniques with a straight face.  For that matter, I also
felt pretty silly practicing them without a contraction in sight.  So,
I'd settled for having a go at practicing them now and again and hoping
optimistically that this would be enough when it came to the point.  I'd
also given DH a brief run-down of the sort of things he could do that
might help me.  On Friday morning (November 19th) I ran through this
again for him, and promised to write it out properly.

On Friday evening, around 6 p.m., as we drove to the supermarket, I
noticed that the crampy feeling was getting a bit stronger.  It still
wasn't anything terribly exciting or definitive, but I was pleased that
some sort of development seemed to be taking place, and started daring
to hope that I might actually drift into proper labour some time in the
next few days.  So, when we got in from shopping and had finished
putting stuff away, I went upstairs to see about getting my hospital bag
properly packed.  I'd packed some of it a few weeks earlier, but there
was stuff like my nursing bras that I hadn't had at the time, and there
were things I'd been meaning to add but had either not added yet or just
chucked in a heap next to the bag.  So I started going through all the
stuff properly, checking it off against my checklist and making sure
everything was sorted and packed where I could get to it easily if I
needed to.  While I was doing that, my labour started.

I'd expected I'd probably just drift into labour without any sort of
very definite beginning, but, in fact, there was a clear point at which
the general sensation of on-and-off-crampiness sorted itself out into
definite contractions with gaps between.  The first contraction hit at
9.08, by my watch, and lasted around 30 seconds.  Then they came
regularly after that.  I can't give any clear details on how long
subsequent ones lasted or how often they came, because I was in a state
that the Bradley method describes as the first emotional signpost.
Apparently the first stage of labour goes through three separate stages
in terms of emotional reactions, which are referred to as 'emotional
signposts' to give a woman clues as to how far she is in labour - happy
anticipation, serious concentration, and self-doubt.  Prior to labour
I'd wondered where 'abject terror' fitted in on that scheme, but, in
fact, when the contractions started, I had the textbook response.  I was
thrilled to bits, absolutely bubbling over with excitement. Even though
I knew it could still be a false alarm, I was still over the moon that
_something_ was happening.  I was bouncing around and almost singing as
I finished getting my bag packed.

The result of this was that I was fairly useless as far as timing
contractions went.  I was on such a high that I couldn't focus on what I
was doing, and by the time each one hit, I'd forgotten what time it was
when the last one hit.  Then by the time each one finished, I couldn't
remember what time it had started.  However, I know I had four
contractions within the first 20 minutes.  And they kept coming every
few minutes.

Once my bag was packed, I turned my attention to the huge heap of baby
clothes and bedding we had piled up haphazardly in the cot.  Quite a lot
of them hadn't been unwrapped and washed yet, so I unwrapped all of
these and hauled them downstairs to put in the washing machine.  By this
time, the contractions had been continuing for nearly an hour.

I went through to the living room to find DH, who told me that he was
sorry he hadn't started dinner yet but he was about to go do so.  (Yes,
sometimes we really do have dinner that late in our house.  We should
live in a Mediterranean country.  ;-)  )  I told him that that would be
a good idea, since I seemed to be in labour.  He did some rather
conventional stuttering and wibbling.  I reassured him that it could
well turn out to be a false alarm, but, still, getting on with dinner
was probably a good idea.

While DH got the carbonara on, I went through to the study, having
remembered that I still hadn't answered the 'November due dates' post on
mkp.  Since it was now seeming that this might be my last chance to
write down how it felt to be nine months pregnant, I thought I'd better
get on and answer it.  Another, harder, contraction hit as I went
through the study door, and I found myself automatically leaning against
the furniture and breathing through it in brisk blowing breaths, just
like women do in films and books.  It made me feel gorgeously Earth
Motherish.

The subject of me probably being in labour inevitably came up in the
newsgroup post.  Since that seemed to scupper the chances of me playing
it cool, just disappearing for a few days, and coming back when people
were speculating to make the announcement, I made another post
explaining that I was having contractions and saying how pleased I was.
By this time, the contractions were strong enough that I had to stop
typing whenever they started.

I sent my two posts and then went to get DH to take a couple of pictures
of me.  I didn't have any of me looking really big, so, if this was my
last chance, I didn't want to miss it.  He looked quite stricken when he
saw the contractions hit me, but I reassured him.  They were strong
enough now that I had to stop what I was doing and focus on breathing
through them, but I still felt I was coping well.

(continued...)