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Family Forum / Parenting / Single Parents / July 2006SLAGS!- oops sorry it slipped out
Sorry I just had to say it!, what I really ment to say was that I live in a small isolated community - and that there is only one bar for a few miles - its my bar, I only have one evening off a fortnight or so and I have to go in there, alone. To give a run down. There are about 20 houses in my road then nothing, sheep, rolling hills, cows etc, countryside (great for kids). Out of those 20 or so houses there are only 3 children under 10 years. The occupants are people who are either single or childless. (how the hell does anyone expect their kids to re-populate here?) Anyway, I have a problem, you know I suffered post-natal depression? well B who doesnt live in the area anymore uses that bar regularly, his mates go there, he weaves stories etc. I go there and theres a nasty atmosphere you know? - its not that bad, its just discrimination and lack of contact and alternative weave and gossip. Any how that is NOT the problem, enough people know me to know that they're welcome, we can talk, theres no hassel, and we're neighbours first (neighbours do help one another out round here) I'm just pissed, you know, I go in there and there are a couple of women who live in the neighborhood who skrew every guy they can - I can't meet any one new, one or the other has serviced them at some point. If they're not chatting them up (like its a points game or something?) they're letching over some other womans man (a strict no-no for me). They havnt got children, they're just celebrating their sexual liberation - its a pain, I get so tired, I'm working so darned hard theres hardly any time to get myself femmed up. I've got to fight for the right to open my legs to reproduce ! I'm not talking fornication here, I'm talking about natural human reproduction, and I can't believe it ! B will do all he can to push me into the background, after all its in his interest to put any other guy off me isnt it? it means I stay home and care for the children without the risk of another man interfering with the care of his offspring. He has all the rights of a married man, and no responsibilities - its making me sick. signed, miserable. >Sorry I just had to say it!, what I really >ment to say was that I live in a small isolated [quoted text clipped - 49 lines] > >miserable. They all suck. End of story. :-) You work hard, and you sure as hell deserve a night off on occasion. His problem is that he can't let go. You may have to move to find someone suitable. Your town's infested with skank. > They all suck. End of story. :-) > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > You may have to move to find someone suitable. Your town's infested with > skank. He! he!, they're fine, but no one wants to have kids, I don't know if its the cost of housing, the uk property market has boomed, the taxes are quite high, but the tax allowances are great when you do begin a family, my home was reasonable when we bought it and when money does come in there are all sorts of things you can claim back for. When we first moved here there were people who'd lived and worked here years, they had grown up kids and everyone was so open and chatty, when my lad was born the house was full of flowers and cards ! they were so neighbourly. Gradually some folk died one or two moved out, but instead of people moving in and staying on, some houses have been sold on 3 or 4 times, within 10 years. Its just bizarre, it first came to mind a couple of months back when I went to the local Drs for a repeat prescription. it was a Friday and I said I could collect the next morning, "Is it urgent?" said the secretary "what do you call urgent?" I asked, "well, contraception for example" I mean to say, medicine is a serious business, you have to get your priorities right, its a darned good job I didnt need any heart pills! I kinda wish I lived in a city somewhere now, I remember as a student single mums used to hang around together, knocked on each others doors, handed stuff along & share cared. I never thought I'd be in a situation where I felt uncomfortable with children because other people had made a decision not to have there own. I remember apologising to a snooty couple in a cafe for my 6 month old crying to be fed, I wised up the moment an ol' mom lent over and cooed at the babe, she was so sweet, she offered to hold my baby while I got everything sorted. Huh, Kate, the British are acting very oddly at the moment, ( well what's new!! ) it can't be like this in every other part of the world surely? luv, Miri >> They all suck. End of story. :-) >> [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] >people moving in and staying on, some houses have been sold >on 3 or 4 times, within 10 years. I was just talking about that very thing with the last neighbor that I have had the whole time I've lived in this house... 23, 24 years. >Its just bizarre, it first came to mind a couple of months back >when I went to the local Drs for a repeat prescription. it was a [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >have to get your priorities right, >its a darned good job I didnt need any heart pills! Wow. Yeah. That's just outright weird. >I kinda wish I lived in a city somewhere now, I remember >as a student single mums used to hang around together, [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > >Miri There's a nice lecture online on the "motherhood movement".... it requires real player and a fairly fast connection speed: http://www.motherhoodproject.org/?cat=53 I have had the feeling that my years as a mother are something that I have to apologise for... as if I haven't "worked". Our product is our children. When they misbehave in public, and other people glare, it can feel like criticism. Honestly, screw them. Imagine if everyone's work was critiqued to the same degree. Children's behavior, just like human behavior, cannot be predicted with any degree of certainty. People who think that there's any such thing as 24/7 control of children have never raised children. If we expected the same from other professions, like law enforcement, then there would be no crime. Or of the medical profession - there would be no cancer, mental or physical illness of any sort. No one would ever make a mistake or misjudge a situation. We have nothing to apologise for. They should be apologising to us for making this a child-unfriendly society and being intolerant of the needs of the people who are our future. 'Kate > >> They all suck. End of story. :-) > >> [quoted text clipped - 71 lines] > > 'Kate You are SO right, people really should be making more effort for the tiny generation, I bought new books in my local library sale, the first 1/4 of the one on human rights is dedicated to childrens rights, (the others are on censorship and one on self- esteem) important issues that I didnt think about in detail before. Thank-you for the link, there are courses at the city University and theres excellent after school care, I wasnt too keen on the idea of feminism because of what I experienced as the masculinisation of womens roles (as opposed to the ajustment of employment and related issues in response to the needs of women in employment and some equal rights, where women have to work to support their family) Your links have opened my eyes, I'll check out the part-time courses for this September. Feminism is two strata it seems to me, and somehow I got stranded on one side of it. I think the courses are modular under social sciences, although I think one lecturer there also taught media as part of our course. I have to go now the kids are wrecking the sofa building a den for the pets - enjoyable to watch, but I've got to assert myself before something gets broken ! - then again, perhaps I should join in! Luv Miri >You are SO right, people really should be making more effort >for the tiny generation, I bought new books in my local library >sale, the first 1/4 of the one on human rights is dedicated to >childrens rights, (the others are on censorship and one on self- >esteem) important issues that I didnt think about in detail >before. Good for you for finding something you can feel passionate about! >Thank-you for the link, there are courses at the city University >and theres excellent after school care, I wasnt too keen on the [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >have to work to support their family) Your links have >opened my eyes, I felt the same way about "feminism" and its result. Organizations like NOW use to be militant. Either they've changed or I have... maybe both. >I'll check out the part-time courses for this >September. Feminism is two strata it seems to me, and >somehow I got stranded on one side of it. So many of us did. But I think you're so right about the stratification - career track or mommie track. There's very little inbetween. Why can't women manage careers and parenthood. Men do. Why do we still have to *ask* a father to take care of his kids? Why does the court system assume that women want primary physical custody? Why are we asking... why are we made to have to ask when we are equal parents? It isn't because we don't work as hard. It isn't because we're not smart enough. It isn't because we're not as well educated - more females have post secondary education degrees than men. Are we not ambitious or are our ambitions cut short by 9 months of pregnancy, unpaid leave, and the primary reponsibility for the welfare of the children? Why is that? Why are caretaking professions so underpaid? Why aren't we seeing commercials for better schools, better teachers, better daycares? Why isn't there competition among nursing homes and long-term care facilities? Or hospitals? >I think the courses >are modular under social sciences, although I think one lecturer [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > >Miri LOL... why not? Play time is a great stress reliever. I always enjoyed sitting down on the floor and playing with the kids.... no matter what else, I had that time every day to know them. Enjoy'em while you can! 'Kate |
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