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Family Forum / Parenting / Single Parents / August 2006Injury Lawyers?
Wondering if any of the wise owls here might have some info... First off, I'm currently dealing with an injury lawyer, mainly for B's injuries after that accident. This lawyer said he'd take B's case on, and also recommended for A as well. B's injuries were obvious and clear as day... Hauled off to the children's hospital on a stretcher in an ambulance, rushed in for surgery, on meds, hospitalized, chiropractor and so on. A's 'injuries' weren't major, I don't think. She did see the chiropractor, was checked out by paramedics and at the hospital as well, not admitted. Her sleeping patterns were all wonky, but she was also teething at the time, so really, whatever - lawyer took on both kids as the same case. I am not involving myself with a lawyer, but did see the chiropractor along with the kids. Injured or not, I just feel that the chiropractor was a big waste of time and effort, as I notice no difference at all - still the same headaches, as well as general aches and pains in my neck, arm, hip and back. I'm not a fan of lawyers and insurance companies and suing. I mainly did this for B and his obvious injuries. Now, though, we hired this one lawyer shortly after the accident. He's proved to be useless (no contact with him since the initial day he came to the house, no returned emails or phone calls, no papers sent out, no updates whatsoever in the span of 6 months now) Went to see another lawyer (the one who said he'd take both kids at the same time) and he's great to contact, good about returning calls, lets me know that he's still alive, unlike Lawyer #1. In the mail today, I had 2 packages of papers - one for A and one for B. Inside were release forms of all sorts, fee info and bla bla bla. Also included was the papers we needed to basically let go of the first lawyer and hire this second lawyer. Problem was, Norm had originally signed for B (with first lawyer) because I was not able to. It's to my understanding that I was unable to sign because I was the driver of the vehicle, and even though I am the legal guardian of both kids, it might come down to them having to sue me, and I guess me signing for the kids to sue me, as the driver, is a big no-no. Norm was able to sign, however, as he was not involved at all. The problem now is, who is able to sign the rest of anything for this new lawyer? I had to basically hunt Norm down this evening to sign the release from lawyer 1 to lawyer 2, as technically by signing originally, HE hired that first lawyer on behalf of B. I hunted him down only because this is important and not something I want to put off, I also have no one else who can sign for either kid... Neither of my parents can sign, even though they're not directly involved with the accident, they are involved because the insurance was under their name, and this again comes down to signing papers to have someone sue yourself. Norm said he'd continue to sign anything for the new lawyer, and when I guess I looked down, he asked what was wrong with that, and I calmly and not at all rudely expressed my feelings about it, saying that this is important to me (and he said it was important to him as well) and then I expressed the concern that is clear and obvious to the world about how I felt that he is very unreliable - he will not return my phone calls if I call and leave a message, he leaves in the rare case I am dropping by his mom's house (where he's living), does not call when he promises he will, does not show up when promised, etc. - all, I feel, valid reasons to have the feeling that for the last while he's been anything but reliable. With these lawyer dealings, I do really think I need someone who is there and reliable. He's not reliable enough, or shows he cares at all, to bring a carton of milk over when I had said there was no milk for the baby. If he can't keep his word when it's as simple as, "I will call you tonight" why would he be responsible or reliable enough for this lawyer business, which NEEDS to be dealt with as often as something - anything - comes up. Does anyone have any insight as to what I should do? Both my parents are out for signatures. I am out as well. I'm not comfortable with my oldest brother being responsible for this, and the other brother is not of legal age, which means he can't sign anything as far as this goes. Should I see if my little (the oldest of my younger brothers) could/would do this? Again, I'm not sure I feel he's a good candidate for this at all. Should I just continue with Norm being the one to sign, and hope he can and will do this, and deal with this together? Again, I really am not confident that he will be reliable and there when needed (to talk to the lawyer, sign things so I can return them ASAP, etc.) but I really don't know where to go with this. Kinda feeling like I'm stuck between a rock and a really hard place. Obviously the best and easiest thing for me would be that Norm and I could work together with this for the kids. Is this something I should try and have a serious talk about with him? Talk about this issue at hand, and this issue only and leave out any personal emotions and feelings and deal with this for now? As far as the relationship of any sort goes, I'm not ready or willing to risk hurting myself or B and A. Our relationship together is basically on hold until the time comes that it feels right and there's a turn around - if ever. I'm just not in a place that I want to deal with that right now. We do talk on occasion, and when we are together, it's good and we're both friendly, caring, good, whatever. Does talking about this lawyer issue have any benefit (does it seem?) or should I just maybe talk to the lawyer myself and tell him I just don't have anyone who can sign the papers and see if there's a way around it or I could sign to possibly sue myself anyways? Kind of a shitty situation, I know, but really stuck on what to do with it all :( I read through this Kat....my advice is that you talk to the 2nd lawyer about your options. Norm may mess things up for it, due to the fact he is not reliable . Do what you need for the kids and try to avoid his involvement at this point. Bev >I read through this Kat....my advice is that you talk to the 2nd lawyer > about your options. Norm may mess things up for it, due to the fact he > is not reliable . Do what you need for the kids and try to avoid his > involvement at this point. > Bev I would have to imagine that there's ways around this... What happens to the people who have absolutely NO friends or family at all and have to deal with something like this? I would assume there's a way? I would just hate to have to rely on someone I don't feel at this point I can rely on... I also don't want something this major to be the thing that he can prove himself as reliable with... Just too risky, which I kind of see as sad for so many reasons... >>I read through this Kat....my advice is that you talk to the 2nd lawyer >> about your options. Norm may mess things up for it, due to the fact he [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >people who have absolutely NO friends or family at all and have to deal with >something like this? I would assume there's a way? Court appointed guardian ad litem, probably. >I would just hate to have to rely on someone I don't feel at this point I >can rely on... I also don't want something this major to be the thing that >he can prove himself as reliable with... Just too risky, which I kind of see >as sad for so many reasons... Are you sad for you or him? >>>I read through this Kat....my advice is that you talk to the 2nd lawyer >>> about your options. Norm may mess things up for it, due to the fact he [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > Are you sad for you or him? More for him, I think. He should be the one who is able and willing to sign, yet really, I don't see that as a likely possibility. Quite frankly, I think if my child's other parent didn't trust me enough (for whatever reason) to make choices and such for my kid, I would see it as being fairly sad (not in a crying way) > Wondering if any of the wise owls here might have some info... > [quoted text clipped - 89 lines] > Kind of a shitty situation, I know, but really stuck on what to do with it > all :( If you're going to stand on your own two feet and deal with life on your own, there's really no time like the present. I'd call the lawyer and tell him that it's you and 2 children. No one else. No one else to 'co-sign' the paperwork. He either takes the case or not. I can't imagine there isn't a single lawyer out there who won't take the case, when clearly all three of you were injured. (And if the children are going to sue you, they need to get their own lawyer to sue you - you're hiring a lawyer to sue the OTHER driver, right?) >> Wondering if any of the wise owls here might have some info... >> [quoted text clipped - 93 lines] > If you're going to stand on your own two feet and deal with life on your > own, there's really no time like the present. I agree. > I'd call the lawyer and tell him that it's you and 2 children. No one > else. No one else to 'co-sign' the paperwork. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > I can't imagine there isn't a single lawyer out there who won't take the > case, when clearly all three of you were injured. I will be calling. There just has to be a way to deal with this without giving myself more worries and a bigger headache. > (And if the children are going to sue you, they need to get their own > lawyer to sue you - you're hiring a lawyer to sue the OTHER driver, > right?) They have this lawyer to sue the insurance company (either mine or his, just depends who is found at fault) I don't have a lawyer for myself, just the one single lawyer for both of the kids. If in the case I decide to sue, I would need my own separate lawyer, one different from B and A. > Wondering if any of the wise owls here might have some info... You really need to talk about this with the attorney. That last thing you need to Norm to have any control over any situation in your life. Is the insurance company not paying your medical bills? If they are paying, why do you want to pursue this, especially when its so complicated? >> Wondering if any of the wise owls here might have some info... > > You really need to talk about this with the attorney. That last thing you > need to Norm to have any control over any situation in your life. Well, this, I see, is more control over a particular situation with the kids and their life. Either way, no, I'd rather rely on no one but myself with this, but yea, I guess I do need to talk to the current lawyer about it. > Is the insurance company not paying your medical bills? If they are > paying, why do you want to pursue this, especially when its so > complicated? Every insurance company has this 'Section B' part that pays for certain medical expenses. This basically includes something like the chiropractor, and it covers any and all occupants of the vehicle no matter what. This doesn't affect premiums if you're in an accident, and doesn't matter if you're at fault or the other driver is. It's standard coverage for ALL insurance, be it full coverage or something like PLPD. AB health care also has coverage that doesn't have a thing to do with the insurance of a vehicle. It's standard for all residents of Alberta. This covers basically everything medically necessary - B's surgery was fully covered, no expense at all to me or him or anything. The problem is, for one, he now has some MAJOR scarring from that laceration he had and was in the OR for. This scar treatment or removal is not covered by health care, nor will insurance cover it because it is not seen as 'medically necessary'. Having his scars treated would be out of pocket, and at this point, it does not look like the scars will heal any better as time goes on. The plastic surgeon said that we can look at scar removal, which would definitely bring the scar down to almost nothing, but the $$ this will cost? I didn't even ask. The scar is fairly visible and obvious. I'm also having major issues getting just the ambulance bill covered by the car's insurance, as well as the kids' health insurance. They have the health benefit for children - it's a free health benefit for all children in low income families. They have this coverage. Right on the card it says that there is 100% coverage for optical, dental, perscription and ground ambulance only within the province. Air ambulance and something like orthodontics are not covered. I had called the (car) insurance and was told that they do not cover the ambulance bill IF there's other health coverage that pays for that - they told me to talk to the people for the child health benefit that the kids have. I talked to them, and the lady told me that yes, they do cover ground ambulance but NOT in the case of a motor vehicle accident. I was nearly blown away, as really, when would your average, healthy child need an ambulance? The average healthy child probably would need an ambulance in the case of an MVA far before they'd need one for something like a heart attack or a fall down the stairs? I dunno... Ambulance is ambulance, AFAIC... They won't cover it, and neither will the insurance company, as they are telling me to fight it out with the kids' health insurance. Just a headache. > Wondering if any of the wise owls here might have some info... > [quoted text clipped - 87 lines] > Kind of a shitty situation, I know, but really stuck on what to do with it > all :( Kat, I am really confused , why are you married to Norm and he is the biological father of 3 plus "one on the way" children in another group? Is this a game? Which is the truth ? How can we help you if we are being lied to? Bev >> Wondering if any of the wise owls here might have some info... >> [quoted text clipped - 139 lines] > being lied to? > Bev If you're talking about groups like m.k., that's how it's always been there. Back when I had first started with that group, years and years ago, we were living common. He is only the biological father of Z and A, not B. And he also is for this next one. When I joined here a few years back, I was on my own with just B. It stayed that way until a couple years ago - when Norm and I got together, but since then, we have NOT lived or claimed common law. The other groups, like m.k., I never really disappeared from in that time. I believe I was pregnant with Z with other groups and it was just after B's was born that I found this place, as, technically, I was a single parent. > > Kat, > > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > being lied to? > > Bev > If you're talking about groups like m.k., that's how it's always been there. > Back when I had first started with that group, years and years ago, we were [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > Z with other groups and it was just after B's was born that I found this > place, as, technically, I was a single parent. I was searching for some groups for my daughter who is 19 and pregnant and came across misc.kids.pregnancy and as I was reading some posts recognised you and was really blown away by what I read! Somewhere along the way I must have missed your story because I had only known you to have had B and A with Norm and that your relationship was fairly new ( couple years) and that you were having this next one of his as well. I thought the older son was living with his dad ? To whom I never knew who that was by name? SO as I read that you two have been on and off for like 7 years altogether and that you were married 4 years ago and that the older son was his as well I was like whoa ! No wonder this is so hard for you to figure out with him. 7 years is a long time and having to go it alone and that you are young as you are makes it harder for you. Then I am thinking if you tied the knot with Norm how much more difficult this is gonna be for you and it changes the legalities involving the children and all I assume. Parenting is rough single or not especially if the parents are not a united front working together in the childrens best interests. This happens in married parents lives as well. Whatever the situation is with you and Norm ,the kids have to come first and as much as breaking up or losing a long term relationship hurts like hell, you are not the first to face this road. Moving on takes time, courage and strength, you need to love yourself and respect yourself and your children. I could not agree more with the "motherly" lecture/advice Moon gave you . So then you have your oldest son now living with you as well? >> > Kat, >> > [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > having to go it alone and that you are young as you are makes it harder > for you. Oh. m.k.p is a good one. I was 16, he was 17. Here's where it probably gets even worse, which is why this part of my personal life I tend to keep to myself as much as possible, as it just seems to cause more confusion. Oh well. Z now lives with his mom. At one point, him and his older brother (now 13) lived with their dad and mom, then just their dad, now they're both living with their mom. He's over here quite a bit - almost all of last summer, but this summer, his dad has been half way across the country living and working. The boys have been spending a lot of time there with no school, and he's over here (or B is often over there) not so much anymore (due to Z's dad being further away) I'm already confusing myself, but Z was place for adoption in open adoption as an infant. Technically, he has like 2 sets of parents, birth parents and legal (adoptive) parents. B's father is Phil. Z, A and this next one's father is Norm. Norm and I were together, then not, then again, then not and so on. > Then I am thinking if you tied the knot with Norm how much more > difficult this is gonna be for you and it changes the legalities > involving the children and all I assume. It was common law a while back, but the last couple years has not been at all. It really doesn't change anything, as at the time, we were living common law but since I gave up parental rights and all that with Z, there's no problem there. With B, Phil has no parental rights or anything either, and same goes for A - for both B and A, I am the one legal guardian - it would change if we were legally common law or married, I think. > Parenting is rough single or not especially if the parents are not a > united front working together in the childrens best interests. This > happens in married parents lives as well. I think for now, it's a lot easier on my own without the extra headaches. There just doesn't seem to be any co-parenting type thing going on, and I look back and see this has been the case for quite some time. > Whatever the situation is with you and Norm ,the kids have to come > first and as much as breaking up or losing a long term relationship > hurts like hell, you are not the first to face this road. Moving on > takes time, courage and strength, you need to love yourself and respect > yourself and your children. I could not agree more with the "motherly" > lecture/advice Moon gave you . Yes, I do agree and see exactly where she's coming from. My mom has given similar advice, but now I don't bother as she tends to get angrier and angrier (with reason) It does seem now, though, that I feel a lot better asking for any help lately. She offers the advice how she sees it, but I also have to take into consideration that she only sees so much and will only say so much. > So then you have your oldest son now living with you as well? No, he lives with his mom since his parents split and dad moved a fair distance away for work. > >> > Kat, > >> > [quoted text clipped - 90 lines] > No, he lives with his mom since his parents split and dad moved a fair > distance away for work. Holy macaroni Kat ! I am so sorry that I opened that all up like that. Yes the twists and turns in all this can confuse a mind rather quickly ( my mind even quicker!) I couldn't follow how Z was you and Norms son but yet he was not living with you , again I apologise for making you explain and appreciate that you did. You could have just told the nosey "old lady" to mind her p's and q's ! <smile> Bev >> >> > Kat, >> >> > [quoted text clipped - 112 lines] > "old lady" to mind her p's and q's ! <smile> > Bev LOL No, it's alright. It's normally just the confusion part I like to avoid at most costs... You're lucky you're not around when we're all out and about... There's N (Z's older brother, adopted as well), Z, B, A, N & Z's mom and dad, me, Norm... It's a crazy time, as Z and B are brothers, Z and N are brothers, B and A are brother and sister, Z and A are brother and sister, N and A and Z and B are brothers and sister... Oh my. Don't worry... When it comes down to someone asking, it's quite amusing if the parents of all these kids are around and EVERYONE is mom or dad or whatever, my brother, your brother, their sister, whatever. It's just hard to explain, that's all. I guess, just now, I realized that a lot of this garbage is hard to explain all around and it is a big, huge mess with everything in general... >LOL No, it's alright. It's normally just the confusion part I like to avoid >at most costs... TOO LATE! :-D And that's why we loveya xkatx. |
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