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Family Forum / Parenting / Single Parents / March 2007Is this heaven or hell please?
I have worried my soul case out for the past fortnight after a full screen at the STD clinic....not that I had a legion of lovers, not that dropped my knicks in that final dwindling dance in a last heavenly fling of me overies, my aim was to concieve not to terminate or contract a f.cking virus or sickness (and that date COST 70 earthy fuckin sterling quids at an agency) In fact all told I've had sex ooooh! 24 times? in 4 & half years with 3 people....(women don't count now....do they?X) I came out in a rash, and marks and blotches, no swollen glands though, I hadnt lost weight although I have come down with really bad flu. The worst thing of all was worrying about the kids, my God what about those poor kids am I contagious? what should I do to prevent any contact that could be harmful, where to avoid, who should know..my demise means nowt, I've lived, but to little ones who have a horrid world out there without mom, and less contact with dad what would they do? it had crossed my mind that I was getting hypochondria... you know cos mom had died so recently,I knew I'd feel lousy about now, after Christmas, this time of year, but I didnt expect to get so run down so fast. I was ready the day of the results, I'd sorted out my finances, list of to do's and to dont's. "Its all clear, they're all clear" said the voice, I didnt know what to say I sobbed about 10 minutes afterwards. I'm not waiting for them to contact me to tell me theres been a mix up. I'm on medications for stress, so I got out the box and it said 'can cause side effects' blah, blah, blah, (yes I've got those) immunity syndrome, relieved by stopping medication'. (somebody please wipe me off the floor) even the drs off ill & I'll be there as soon as possible. I dislike hospitals and I don't want to make any habit of visiting them. Then I'm going to plan for a holiday warm somewhere for us all with a good sunscreen and a reminder to myself 'chastity belts'. miri Please forgive me but I laughed at first, this started out sounding like troll business then I realised who you are. Ummmm, sorry to hear of your scare. > I have worried my soul case out for the past fortnight > after a full screen at the STD clinic....not that [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > fact all told I've had sex ooooh! 24 times? in 4 & half > years with 3 people....(women don't count now....do they?X) Yes you can get an std from a women, they do count ! > I came out in a rash, and marks and blotches, no swollen > glands though, I hadnt lost weight although I have come [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > holiday warm somewhere for us all with a good sunscreen > and a reminder to myself 'chastity belts'. I'd personally choose protection <smirk> Although there was this time............ :-\ Bev > miri > Please forgive me but I laughed at first, this started out sounding > like troll business then I realised who you are. Ummmm, sorry to hear > of your scare. Just hypochondira it seems, rundown, making me feel like oooh! (help me!) >>....(women don't count now....do they?X) > > Yes you can get an std from a women, they do count ! I asked about it, the Dr wasnt interested in gender, more concerned about where a disease may originate and who else may have caught it (off them?) or me if there was something in those tests, and if there was would I tell them so as they get it sorted?, I asked about the likelyhood of contracting an STD by chance, you know like at school people used to say don't ever sit on the public lavvies? I don't know, its not like it was when I was courting it was like everyone was still influenced by the 60's free love thingummyjig, and 70's all hang on in there baby, and then an 80's freedom to express your love fairly openly although some women were by then were all doing it by themselves. > > with a good sunscreen > > and a reminder to myself ?'chastity belts'. > > I'd personally choose protection <smirk> Although there was this > time............ :-\ Scubadiving! - now that is a thought! now to make myself as unattractive as is necessary, well, theres old age rolling by, (saggy mommy routine, unplucked nostril hairs, clothes by charity, and no soap or nail varnish) Changing the subject entirely, the school committee has arranged some extra lessons for dance and music, and I'm really looking forwards for us doing that together :) luv miri >I have worried my soul case out for the past fortnight >after a full screen at the STD clinic....not that [quoted text clipped - 41 lines] > >miri What a scary thing to go through alone. ((( Miri ))) I'm glad you can relax about the STD possibility though. And you may find this weird/fun/interesting: http://www.thestar.co.za/index.php?fArticleId=3458374 I smacked my head and cried, "Why didn't I think of that?" when I read it. (Not really... but it is funny to think of someone with perfect pitch moaning "middle C, middle C!). ya gotta read the article to understand the fun. :-) 'Kate > >I have worried my soul case out for the past fortnight > >after a full screen at the STD clinic....not that [quoted text clipped - 55 lines] > > ya gotta read the article to understand the fun. :-) Best laugh I've had today 'Kate......thanks! Kinda priceless...... :-) Bev > 'Kate- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - >> >I have worried my soul case out for the past fortnight >> >after a full screen at the STD clinic....not that [quoted text clipped - 60 lines] > >Bev Oh those wacky Ukrainians. > >> >I have worried my soul case out for the past fortnight > >> >after a full screen at the STD clinic....not that [quoted text clipped - 64 lines] > > - Show quoted text - That is SOO funny <ROFL> where can we buy them?!! it reminds me of the damp nappy diaper alert chip that you could get a while back, great novelty that really took the 'urk!' out of the 'icky!' but that chip, I'm just wondering what else it could be used for, the motion alert sounds really funny, Thinking about protection does anyone remember those femidoms? big baggy things? a friend of mine bought one just to see what they were like and fell about laughing! I still think a sort of cling-film adaption would be best ;) its on a roll, cheap, multipurpose and discreet - and we can pretend we're going on picniks when we're really have sordid affairs :) I had to say at the STD clinic that I wasnt averse to the slap and tickle, but with one partner we'd had condom problems, rubbers too small they roll up and ping off, or too baggy at-the-time, I told the Doc but she only laughed....I said that when I nervously (cos someone might see) went to the counter to buy a pack of assorted sizes there was no such thing. Its something that I've been worried about telling my kids, what to say to them? telling them to make sure they use protection, making sure they're safe, but not wanting to interfere with their private and emotional life. If you scare the hell of them telling them about disease they could avoid the relationship scene altogether. Some guy told me once that the most scary movie he watched was one of giving birth in a biology lesson. luv miri >That is SOO funny <ROFL> where can we buy them?!! I almost wish I knew... and do they come in "Funky Town?" > it >reminds me of the damp nappy diaper alert chip that >you could get a while back, great novelty that really >took the 'urk!' out of the 'icky!' but that chip, I thought that those things came with a smell alert already? :-) >I'm >just wondering what else it could be used for, the >motion alert sounds really funny, The guy who invented it's a genius, as far as I'm concerned. Think of the marketing alone.... they could play college fight songs, the anthem for one's own country, or for the wedding night, "Here comes the bride" ROFL >Thinking about protection does anyone remember those >femidoms? big baggy things? a friend of mine bought [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >and discreet - and we can pretend we're going on >picniks when we're really have sordid affairs :) OMG, that's too funny. Imagine the wrapper size? No hiding that from mom and dad. Good thing most women carry handbags. >I had to say at the STD clinic that I wasnt averse >to the slap and tickle, but with one partner we'd had [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >might see) went to the counter to buy a pack of assorted >sizes there was no such thing. Would you believe that I've never bought condoms.... I've passed by them in the rack. I can't imagine inspecting the package (pun intended). But it seems like a good thing to be comfortable with and to have just in case. >Its something that I've been worried about telling my >kids, what to say to them? telling them to make sure they [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >told me once that the most scary movie he watched was >one of giving birth in a biology lesson. When it comes close to that time,you'll be ready. You're already thinking about it. Of course you're going to be nervous. That's why we practice with another adult first. The rule is, "I would rather you come to me for birth control than tell me you're pregnant." Don't leave out talking about how your adult or almost adult children feel about their partners. That's the most important part - passionate feelings. Without feelings, it's just an "act". You can do it as a "What if..." or "How would you feel if you had to tell me you (or your girlfriend) were pregnant?" That always pushes the discomfort aside. It's also a good way for kids to approach their parents. We don't want our children, once grown to adulthood, to have dissatisfying sexual lives. We don't want them to use their bodies in the wrong way either (too many, too often, too early, with the wrong person, by force, or with other unsatisfying, disasterious results). We want them to fully participate and get what they want/need. To do that, they have to know what they need. They have to be able to talk about it with their partners. If they're not ready to do that, they're not ready for sex or perhaps, not sex with that person. > When it comes close to that time,you'll be ready. You're already > thinking about it. Of course you're going to be nervous. That's why we > practice with another adult first. The rule is, "I would rather you > come to me for birth control than tell me you're pregnant." But why that way around? I'd have said 'I'd rather you stay with your first girlfriend or boyfriend than sleep around and find you've an STD or expecting a baby with someone with someone you hardly know anything about' call me old- fashioned but I like the quaint ol' idea that some people marry for life....but there again, I didnt did I?! (All those anniversaries and congratulations, perhaps they should provide like a mileage card together with a marriage certificate that you have stamped in an office every few years ?) > Don't leave out talking about how your adult or almost adult children > feel about their partners. That's the most important part - passionate > feelings. Without feelings, it's just an "act". I remember on a chat show someone was asked how many partners had they had who they HADNT kissed ! > You can do it as a "What if..." or "How would you feel if you had to > tell me you (or your girlfriend) were pregnant?" That always pushes > the discomfort aside. It's also a good way for kids to approach their > parents. Ah! I see your point, > We don't want our children, once grown to adulthood, to have > dissatisfying sexual lives. We don't want them to use their bodies in [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > about it with their partners. If they're not ready to do that, they're > not ready for sex or perhaps, not sex with that person. I think its very important for them to be comfortable saying 'No!' if they feel under pressure, I'd like my children to feel comfortable enough to ask me for advice and support where needed, but I can't ever be sure of saying the right thing, I'm their parent and risked an STD, I have to admit that even though I asked about the history of my partners, even I can't sure without both of us being screened and cleared. Someone told me that in the US you both have to be screened before marriage, we're a little backward here and we recently had news that theres some financial crises looming in std clinics. Thanks, miri have a screen >> When it comes close to that time,you'll be ready. You're already >> thinking about it. Of course you're going to be nervous. That's why we [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >certificate that you have stamped in an office every few >years ?) I hear you. It's a shame what's happened to marriage and commitment. >> Don't leave out talking about how your adult or almost adult children >> feel about their partners. That's the most important part - passionate >> feelings. Without feelings, it's just an "act". >> >I remember on a chat show someone was asked how many >partners had they had who they HADNT kissed ! That must have been an interesting show. Sorry I missed it! >> You can do it as a "What if..." or "How would you feel if you had to >> tell me you (or your girlfriend) were pregnant?" That always pushes [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] >miri >have a screen The whole thing's such a sticky subject. First, morals and values, then physical needs, and it all has to be safe and consentual and exciting and "good". Nothing's as much of a let down as being poorly boinked. <g> I chose the "rather talk about it and face up to the fact that my children are going to have sex someday and I'd rather they hear it from me" route than the "don't do it until you're married" route as a parent. They can talk to me about sex without feeling like they've done something horrible. I can't condemn them for wanting to be intimate with someone... but then, we're not talking about 10, 12 year olds either as my youngest is 16. I can't honestly say which way is better. I only know that this way was the right way for my family. 'K >> >> >I have worried my soul case out for the past fortnight >> >> >after a full screen at the STD clinic....not that [quoted text clipped - 54 lines] >> >> it. (Not really... but it is funny to think of someone with perfect >> >> pitch moaning "middle C, middle C!). in this case the rhythm method is NOT contraceptive, or is it, what a conundrum? >> >> ya gotta read the article to understand the fun. :-) >> [quoted text clipped - 41 lines] > luv > miri >>> >I have worried my soul case out for the past fortnight >>> >after a full screen at the STD clinic....not that [quoted text clipped - 62 lines] > > Oh those wacky Ukrainians. bein ukrainian, i'll accept that as a compliment >I have worried my soul case out for the past fortnight > after a full screen at the STD clinic....not that [quoted text clipped - 41 lines] > > miri |
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