Implications of dating a single woman w/ kid(s)?

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Ablang - 18 May 2007 11:03 GMT

Can we please discuss the implications of dating a single woman w/
kid(s)? Are there any deal-breakers?

I'm currently a 35 YO single man w/ very little dating experience
courting a 31 YO woman (never married) w/ a 5 YO daughter. I met the
mother online first and chatted online and spoke on eht phone w/ her
for a year (she called me most of the time on her dime; she has a very
good paying career). They are both in another country (Philippines).
I finally visited them in person and the mother is just lovely &
everything that I knew her to be. She's self-less, loving, devoted,
hard-working, caring, committed, & accomplished. The daughter, on the
other hand, is another story. Imagine a mother that has few hobbies
that she throws herself into her career, leaving the daughter to be
raised by nannies that come & go. The daughter is spoiled, self-
centered, jealous, is accustomed to getting what she wants, and cries
at the drop of a hat.

I'd like to hear the viewpoints from both single men, and single
parents w/ kid(s). I'd also like to hear how opinions might change
based on the kid(s).

Probably more interesting might be the viewpoints of single woman
dating single man w/ kid(s).

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ninedogs@gmail.com - 23 May 2007 18:58 GMT

The child is 5 years old! You describe her as being self-centered?
You bet! Children see themselves as the center of the universe up
until age 7. And of course she's jealous, cries and gets what she
wants - it's part of the territory. Perhaps the child might need a
bit of discipline, but it sounds to me that you are the one with the
problem. Do some soul searching, go hang out with other preschoolers
for long periods of time, and ask yourself if you have a desire to be
a good male role model for that child. Read books on child psychology
so that you can understand the nature of the entire dynamic of
becoming serious with a parent. Because you will be a very important
figure in that child's life. Do you really have the desire to take on
such a responsibility?

> Can we please discuss the implications of dating a single woman w/
> kid(s)? Are there any deal-breakers?
[quoted text clipped - 19 lines]
> Probably more interesting might be the viewpoints of single woman
> dating single man w/ kid(s).

Reply to this Message

Family Forum / Parenting / Single Parents / May 2007

Implications of dating a single woman w/ kid(s)?