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Family Forum / Parenting / Single Parents / May 2004Circle in a Square Peg
I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the support I was seeking or hoping to find. I'm sorry if it appears that I've been whining or wallowing in my own pain, sorrow, grief, and anger. Guess what? Just because some of you have been single parents longer than me... it doesn't mean you're an expert. It doesn't mean you know everything and it certainly doesn't give you license to judge me. How can you call this a support group when someone is reaching out and telling you their story and you beat them over the head with it? I'd rather be supported by wolves than by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm sorry I even subscribed in the first place. >I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the support >I was seeking or hoping to find. I'm sorry if it appears that I've been [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm >sorry I even subscribed in the first place. Your choice. You didn't answer my questions about race though. I'm not sure what you wanted from a bunch of strangers but support is not necessarily hugging and "poor you" sentiment. I've seen people get tromped on on this group and others and I don't see the response you got as beating you over the head with anything, but I did see it as people calling you on your prejudices and reminding you not to trash or disregard your child's father. Those are fair responses, and I wouldn't want any kind of "support" that didn't require that I try to be more objective about my situation. Everyone has moments of frustration and everyone gets to vent about their ex or their kids or whatever they need to vent about, but when you introduce yourself as someone who was irresponsible when you got pregnant and now look down your nose at your child's father, implying that you just got mixed up while slumming, you can understand that that's all we have to go on. Being strangers and all. So suit yourself, move on if you choose to. I wish you and your child and your child's father peace. lm Wow... what did I miss? I don't recall seeing anything negative. T > I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the support > I was seeking or hoping to find. I'm sorry if it appears that I've been [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm > sorry I even subscribed in the first place. > Wow... what did I miss? I don't recall seeing anything negative. The closest thing was Dennis cutting to the chase.........which she seemed to take offense with. Another classic example o someone who thinks 'support' is being enabled ......"it's okay......you good, him bad' Maybe if what's his name from England (not you Paul G) was still posting, he could play the enabler and make her feel better > > T > "Kristi Carney" <kristi76@mailaka.net> wrote in message > news:-rmdnUa-7qmSWTbdRVn-ug@pghconnect.com... > > I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the > support > > I was seeking or hoping to find. I'm sorry if it appears that I've been > > whining or wallowing in my own pain, sorrow, grief, and anger. Guess > what? > > Just because some of you have been single parents longer than me... it > > doesn't mean you're an expert. It doesn't mean you know everything and it > > certainly doesn't give you license to judge me. How can you call this a > > support group when someone is reaching out and telling you their story and > > you beat them over the head with it? I'd rather be supported by wolves > than > > by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm > > sorry I even subscribed in the first place. > > > > > > Oh heck, I didn't know that was D! Hey D... long time no see! Honesty sure does bite some in the a.s doesn't it. I know I wish all my problems could be taken care of with a kiss and a hug but that just isn't the case. T > > Wow... what did I miss? I don't recall seeing anything negative. > [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > > > > >Oh heck, I didn't know that was D! Hey D... long time no see! > >Honesty sure does bite some in the a.s doesn't it. I know I wish all my >problems could be taken care of with a kiss and a hug but that just isn't >the case. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO :-) ((((((((((((((Tiffany))))))))))))))))) lm "Tiffany" wrote in message > Oh heck, I didn't know that was D! Hey D... long time no see! New computer that would not get the groups, new woman friend, new salsa classes as well as the ballroom, work on the house, busy with the day job and Freddie as demanding as ever. I take time out to try and give Kristi a few pointers and look at the thanks I get! I have been reading the group though, sorry to hear of you personal tragedies, my thoughts were with you both. Dennis > "Tiffany" wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > Dennis Thank you. With all the good advice and support I got, we seem to have made it through it for now. I know long term issues will arise and S will be getting involved in a local organization that deal directly with children who have lost loved ones. Wow..... I got support. I must be one of the lucky few. ;) T > "Tiffany" wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > Dennis Oops... congrads on the new women friend and all the other fun stuff. T <snip> > Oops... congrads on the new women friend and all the other fun stuff. Dammit! I was relying on you to be cheeky and ask him more about her. Now I'll have to wait until someone else does.  SignaturePaul Griffiths > <snip> > > > Oops... congrads on the new women friend and all the other fun stuff. > > Dammit! I was relying on you to be cheeky and ask him more about her. Now > I'll have to wait until someone else does. ~cough~ Soooooooooooo Dennis.... ummm how's the new woman???? Christine > > <snip> > > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Soooooooooooo Dennis.... ummm how's the new woman???? Thanks, I knew I could rely on you. :-)) SignaturePaul Griffiths > > > <snip> > > > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Thanks, I knew I could rely on you. :-)) No problemo, t'is what I'm here for. But while I'm at it, any love interest in YOUR life Paul? Hmm? lol Christine > > > > <snip> > > > > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > No problemo, t'is what I'm here for. I'll bear that in mind. > But while I'm at it, any love interest in YOUR life Paul? Hmm? lol Nope, nothing much going on in that respect and hasn't been for well over a year. Can't say I'm trying very hard right now so I imagine that doesn't help. SignaturePaul Griffiths <snip> > Honesty sure does bite some in the a.s doesn't it. I know I wish all my > problems could be taken care of with a kiss and a hug but that just isn't > the case. A kiss and a hug don't usually hurt though and they just might help a little. Worth a try anyway, that's my motto. SignaturePaul Griffiths > <snip> > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > A kiss and a hug don't usually hurt though and they just might help a > little. Worth a try anyway, that's my motto. Hmm the kisses and hugs from my kidlets keep me going, shouldn't that be enough? Dammit, what am I going to do when they're 12 and that's gross though? :( Christine > > <snip> > > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > enough? Dammit, what am I going to do when they're 12 and that's gross > though? :( When they are that age they will be pissing you off enough you won't wnat the hugs and kisses ;-) And then it gets worse ;-) > Christine > > <snip> > > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > Hmm the kisses and hugs from my kidlets keep me going, shouldn't that be > enough? Wherever they come from is fine with me as long as they work. > Dammit, what am I going to do when they're 12 and that's gross though? :( And if you're unlucky it may even turn gross sooner than that. SignaturePaul Griffiths > > Wow... what did I miss? I don't recall seeing anything negative. > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > if what's his name from England (not you Paul G) was still posting, he > could play the enabler and make her feel better Oddly enough I've forgotten his name too. I wonder what that means. Hey ho. ;-) SignaturePaul Griffiths > Wow... what did I miss? I don't recall seeing anything negative. > [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm > > sorry I even subscribed in the first place. She was probably offended by your top posting. ::grin:: V > I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the support > I was seeking or hoping to find. I'm sorry if it appears that I've been [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm > sorry I even subscribed in the first place. Oh man, you're way too sensitive, Kristi. Good luck with motherhood. You're goign to need it. Karen "Kristi Carney" < wrote in message > I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the support > I was seeking or hoping to find. OK so why not tell uswhat kind of support you are looking for and we will see what we can do. >I'm sorry if it appears that I've been > whining or wallowing in my own pain, sorrow, grief, and anger. Yes, that is how it appears. Was I wrong? >Guess what? > Just because some of you have been single parents longer than me... it > doesn't mean you're an expert. It doesn't mean you know everything and it > certainly doesn't give you license to judge me. The only one doing the judging is you! As for who is an expert, I would suggest that you consider how these groups work. Basically, they work on the principal that within a large collection of people there is a lot of knowledge. In fact IMO in this particular group of people there is an enourmous amount of specific knowledge relating to lone parenting. The collective dynamic here is staggering! So yes, collectivly, we are the experts. However! This does not mean that what any individual says is applicable to you personally, better to take those snippets that best suit your current situation and disreguard the rest. (A thick skin comes in handy at this point) >How can you call this a > support group when someone is reaching out and telling you their story and > you beat them over the head with it? In the hope that they will have a good long look at their current situation and see things for themselves. >I'd rather be supported by wolves than > by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm > sorry I even subscribed in the first place. Oh well, and I had you marked as someone with a streak of determination and a will to succeed. See how deceptive first impressions can be? Dennis > I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the support > I was seeking or hoping to find. I'm sorry if it appears that I've been [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm > sorry I even subscribed in the first place. Well thank you for your honesty. Good luck. One thing to life is sometimes listening to voices of reason when it does not agree with your own voice. Part of being an adult is making decisions based on the one voice that has more experience. V |
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